Tuesday, December 06, 2011
I have new found motivation this morning. It comes in the form of laundry. You see, I only own two pair of long pants that fit. Both are blue jeans. Both need laundering as my lovely monster mutts decided to chase another dog, pulled me to the ground and got the pair I was going to wear today filthy, and the other pair is already in the hamper. So I decide to go on the hunt for another outfit only to find. *insert JAWS theme music* Everything else I own that is remotely winterish is too small y'all!! It's cold outside, for my part of Texas anywayand I don't have even one sweater or pair of pants that I can put on with out looking like too much sausage in too little casing. So it is strictly business, because unless I want to shiver myself out of a few pounds I am going to have to work extra hard to get into my next size down so that I won't be cold all winter.
(On the upside, I was able to put on my 16's and button them, even if they were too tight, which I count as a non scale victory because two months ago they wouldn't even go over my hips.)
Monday, December 05, 2011
Life is a grindstone. Whether it grinds us down or polishes us up depends on us.” ~Thomas L. Holdcroft
My attitude is less than stellar today. I am letting the little, stupid, things get to me even though I know better. I need to refocus on the positive. For one thing, I have the love and hope of Christ, which should be all the sustenance I need. I also have a loving family. I have been accomplishing my goals, slowly but surely. I have gone down from 234 lbs to 226 lbs, which is awesome, I have started walking 5 days a week. I am making better food choices. These are things I should be focusing on. But my mind wants to stray to the ice cream I ate that I didn't need. It wants to dwell on the difficulties I am having with coworkers, and unkind things my family has said. It wants to drag up past feelings about the holiday season that have no business in my current life.
That is the thing about losing weight that gets me, the mental struggle. It is the stuff that fad diet plans don't tell you in their books and pamphlets that promise all the results. The emotional assault that boils up and rejects the positive. It makes me think of the Dementors from Harry Potter, floating around sucking out the happy thoughts and leaving only the bad. My weight loss Dementors are in full force right now. It is times like these when I try to remember how important it is to keep moving in the right direction and not rely on my intentions. So here I go, adjusting my attitude and moving forward, because whether I believe it or not I deserve the happy things and I am going to accomplish that!
Friday, December 02, 2011
I love my family, and they love me. All of them, though it can be hard to tell sometimes. You all know what I mean, those relatives who you could cheerfully stuff in a closet until time for their visit to be over. Yes, even they love me, in their own sick, dysfunctional way. Because they love me, they feel they ought to be able to say unkind things to me without repercussion, because, well, they are saying out LOVE and CONCERN for me and my health. But, the funny thing is, so very often when they are mouthing off out of concern for my health, they speak of things which have nothing to do with health. They go on about how much better I will look in my clothes, how much prettier I was when I was thin, etc. Sometimes these comments do hurt, but more and more I find myself not caring. I was skinny, for most of my life. My weight struggle began after my divorce six years ago. But I can tell you right now I wasn't healthy. I lived off of soda, hamburgers, and candy. I was very active, I exercised daily, but my diet was terrible. I was trim and athletic looking, and still heading for high cholesterol and possibly even diabetes.
I want to be healthy. I want to beat back the tide of health problems in my family. The bad backs, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, etc. I know some of this is genetic and might happen anyway, but I want to give it my best shot to be actually healthy. Smaller clothes are an awesome consequence of losing weight and being healthier. I am not knocking anyone who has that goal in sight. For me, however, it is not enough to just be skinny. I have been there, I have been little and cute, wearing size 6 jeans and tanks tops and I didn't appreciate it then. In fact, I thought I was fat, I was miserable. Skinny doesn't make you happy or healthy, and I want to be both of those. There is no magic number, and losing weight will not accomplish miracles. Happiness you have to work on for yourself. So, yes, I will be happy to be a smaller size, but I am happy now at my larger one. What will make me happiest is knowing I am doing everything I can to live my life healthy and happy for myself, which will benefit my son, my fiancé, my step-son, and so on.
Thursday, December 01, 2011
I have been thinking a lot about motivation lately. Not just motivation for my healthiness journey, but motivation in general, and housework motivation in particular. You see, I am not a naturally neat and tidy person. In fact, I am a really messy person, if you want to know the honest truth. Housekeeping is completely unnatural to me. You would think it would be the opposite, since I have been cooking and cleaning since I was quite young, but no, it is as foreign a thing to me as can be imagined. I liken it to my healthiness journey because like losing weight cleaning house is something that requires persistance and making yourself get up and do it even when you don't feel like it.
So, what motivates me to clean? A&E channel's reality drama Hoarders is what does it for me. I turn on the TV and flip the channel to watch Hoarders and I am immediately motivated to get up and clean my house. LOL I literally cannot sit still throught the entire program, I have to get up and start working. It is a shame I cannot find a book or show that has been bolting out the door to exercise the minute I start watching it.
What do you need to be motivated to do? What motivates you?
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
So, the time for my first challenge, the December Dash Aweigh the Pounds challenge is fast approaching. I haven't done a challenge before so I am excited. I have set a few goals for this month.
1) Walk 30 minutes a day, 5 days a week.
2)Track my food and fitness,
3) Be Positive
4) Play soccer with my son 2x a week
Even if I lose minimal weight this month, if I accomplish these goals all month I will be thrilled.
My 30th birthday approaches and my fiance is taking me to the Tutankhamun: The Golden King exhibition in Houston on my birthday weekend. I have been just beside myself to go see this, and now I am going!! WooHoo!!
I got my Christmas tree put up and some of the house decorated. Now I need to clean again, because I have boxes and tree needles all over my living, LOL.
I don't have much to say to day, so this is short and kind of random. But here is to more steps towards a healthy life style!!
Get An Email Alert Each Time AUBERRY2 Posts