Friday, November 25, 2011
Well. yesterday was The Big Day food wise. Thanksgiving, holiday of thankfullness and excessive eating. How did I do? (I know, everyone is waiting with bated breath, right?) *drumroll* I did great!! In my opinion anyway. I had roasted turkey, white meat no skin, a tablespoon of dressing, a table spoon of sweet poptatos, three tablespoons of mashed potatos, one slice jellied cranberry sauce, lots of green beans, one tablespoon of cherry cobbler and on ultra thin slice of Apple Cardamom cake. I didn't feel stuffed after I finished, so although I didn't stick to just the healthy choices I did manage not to gorge. So I am proud of myself, because I made the choice not to eat until I was sick, which is what I usually do on Thanksgiving.
It was a stressful day, but altogether not a bad one.
Thursday, November 24, 2011
I am thankful,
I am thankful for a family that loves me, even if they drive me crazy.
I am thankful for a son who is the second most fabulous gift from God I have ever been given.
I am thankful for my slavation in Christ Jesus, the most fabulous gift that God has given me.
I am thankful for time, for healing, for me.
I am thankful for my friends.
I am thankful for my health.
I am thankful that I live in a country where I am free to express my thoughts.
I am thankful for the lessons God sends me, even though they are hard to digest sometimes.
I am thankful for every breath I take, every time my eyes open in the morning, every step I take, every bite I eat.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Well, I have been out of pocket for the last few days. Depression over the holidays is osme of it. For many reasons I get that whole seaonsal depression thing that is oh so fun. More of it has been the sinus and ear infections I came down with last week, which knocked me out for a bit. One blessing is that I have zero appetite because of the infections so, while I have eaten, it has not been much because I just had no interest. It was interesting to see what eating to live felt like. Food was just fuel, not a fantastic wonderful comforter. Another blessing was antibiotics which have me feeling MUCH better.
I am down one more pound after maintaining for a week. That is and I am thrilled with it. Every pound gone is a victory. Also, I have joined the *` Dash Aweigh the Pounds December Challenge ~*, my first challenge ever, and I am seriously excited about it. Here is to dashing away the weight!
December is my birthday month, I will be 30. To tell the truth, I am excited. My 20's have been tumultous and stressful, full of fighting to survive and fighting to even know who I was and how to live as me. I look forward to the next decade as one in which I can live, as a healthier me, happier me, better me, without as much strife. I also intend to spend the day wearing a princess crown and being insufferably spoiled, so look out.
I wanted to say thanks to everyone who was so supportive in my last blog post
I love you guys, thanks so much.
Here is to an awesome week!!!!!!!!!!
Monday, November 14, 2011
I have been left alone, neglected. I have been hungry and unnoticed. I have been young and foolish. I have accepted abuse and believed I deserved it. I have mistreated myself, mind, body, and soul. I have believed myself worthless.
Sometimes I still do......
I walked away from an isolated, neglected childhood home only to run straight into the arms of an abusive husband. He had no problem impressing on me how undesireable I was, how useless, how absolutely unable to be loved by anyone else I was. One day, three weeks after my son was born, I woke up and decided that I didn't care if I was worthless, my son wasn't and I wasn't going to raise him in that kind of environment. So I took my son and ran, got a divorce and sole custody, and started over. The only problem? I still felt two inches tall and unlovable.
Through time, much prayer, and God's unending mercy and grace, I have come through the fog little by little. I have fought, and succeeded in improving my image of myself. (In fact, I can be a bit unbarable about how awesome I am, LOL) But, there are times when the demons raise their heads. When all I can think of is being a child sitting alone and hungry at the house, wondering if my parents even remembered I was there. Or being a young, pregnant wife hearing my husbands voice repeat how useless and unattractive I was. There are times when all the hard work seems for naught.
I find weight loss difficult, because no matter how hard I try it is so very difficult for me to believe myself worth it. Right now is one of those times. I just don't feel like I deserve to be healthy, or happy, or pretty. This will pass, it always does, but it is a difficult time when dark memories are hovering. Christ believed I was worth it, so why do I worry about what anyone else thinks of me?
Friday, November 11, 2011
First of all I want to thank all the veteran's, because without them social networking at places like Sparkpeople, and everything else we do every day, would be much different or impossible, and I am grateful for my freedom!!
Now, Friday has been better than Thurday in all respects, thank God. My eating has been better, my water intake has been better, my attitude and everything. Nothing like a good nights sleep =) Everyone have a great weekend!!!!!
Get An Email Alert Each Time AUBERRY2 Posts