AUBERRY2   3,632
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AUBERRY2's Recent Blog Entries

So Proud

Friday, November 25, 2011

Well. yesterday was The Big Day food wise. Thanksgiving, holiday of thankfullness and excessive eating. How did I do? (I know, everyone is waiting with bated breath, right?) *drumroll* I did great!! In my opinion anyway. I had roasted turkey, white meat no skin, a tablespoon of dressing, a table spoon of sweet poptatos, three tablespoons of mashed potatos, one slice jellied cranberry sauce, lots of green beans, one tablespoon of cherry cobbler and on ultra thin slice of Apple Cardamom cake. I didn't feel stuffed after I finished, so although I didn't stick to just the healthy choices I did manage not to gorge. So I am proud of myself, because I made the choice not to eat until I was sick, which is what I usually do on Thanksgiving.

It was a stressful day, but altogether not a bad one.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VIBRANTVAL 11/26/2011 8:12AM

    Im so proud FOR you!! Whooopah!

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GLMOM2 11/26/2011 7:14AM

    emoticon

I didn't do to badly either!! Go us!!! emoticon


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SAHARASUE 11/25/2011 3:26PM

    emoticon That's great!

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LKMCKEE2008 11/25/2011 9:32AM

    You did great! Keep up the good work. emoticon

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Thankful

Thursday, November 24, 2011

I am thankful,

I am thankful for a family that loves me, even if they drive me crazy.

I am thankful for a son who is the second most fabulous gift from God I have ever been given.

I am thankful for my slavation in Christ Jesus, the most fabulous gift that God has given me.

I am thankful for time, for healing, for me.

I am thankful for my friends.

I am thankful for my health.

I am thankful that I live in a country where I am free to express my thoughts.

I am thankful for the lessons God sends me, even though they are hard to digest sometimes.

I am thankful for every breath I take, every time my eyes open in the morning, every step I take, every bite I eat.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ARNETTELEE 11/24/2011 1:10PM

  Be thankful for all you have!

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Randomness

Monday, November 21, 2011

Well, I have been out of pocket for the last few days. Depression over the holidays is osme of it. For many reasons I get that whole seaonsal depression thing that is oh so fun. More of it has been the sinus and ear infections I came down with last week, which knocked me out for a bit. One blessing is that I have zero appetite because of the infections so, while I have eaten, it has not been much because I just had no interest. It was interesting to see what eating to live felt like. Food was just fuel, not a fantastic wonderful comforter. Another blessing was antibiotics which have me feeling MUCH better. emoticon

I am down one more pound after maintaining for a week. That is emoticon and I am thrilled with it. Every pound gone is a victory. Also, I have joined the *` Dash Aweigh the Pounds December Challenge ~*, my first challenge ever, and I am seriously excited about it. Here is to dashing away the weight!

December is my birthday month, I will be 30. To tell the truth, I am excited. My 20's have been tumultous and stressful, full of fighting to survive and fighting to even know who I was and how to live as me. I look forward to the next decade as one in which I can live, as a healthier me, happier me, better me, without as much strife. I also intend to spend the day wearing a princess crown and being insufferably spoiled, so look out. emoticon

I wanted to say thanks to everyone who was so supportive in my last blog post emoticon

I love you guys, thanks so much.

Here is to an awesome week!!!!!!!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GLMOM2 11/21/2011 10:31PM

    emoticon

I'm glad you are joining us in the Dash Aweigh challenge! It is going to be fun!!!

I can't wait for it to start!!!

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RC2CATTLE 11/21/2011 11:20AM

    I am convinced that your 30s will definitely be your best decade EVER!! Look forward with great anticipation for each new adventure and each new opportunity to be all you want to be in your life. The door is wide open for you Aubrey! You are starting out not only on a new foot, but on your BEST foot. You have stopped waiting to be what you want to be and you have started WORKING on being all you want to be!

THAT will make the difference!

Sunny

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PICKIE98 11/21/2011 11:03AM

    Happy Early Birthday!!

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VIBRANTVAL 11/21/2011 10:17AM

    GAAAAH! HATE me some S.A.D.!!!!! But glad your feelin' better, and WHOOOOPAAAAAAAAAH for losing another pound! Waaaaaaaaaaaaay awesome!!!
Let me tell ya, my 30's were faaaaar better than my 20's, and my 40's have been even better yet! emoticon
Not sure i'm ready to find out about the 50's (3 years, 5 months to go.....)

HUGS!!!!


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Am I worth it?

Monday, November 14, 2011

I have been left alone, neglected. I have been hungry and unnoticed. I have been young and foolish. I have accepted abuse and believed I deserved it. I have mistreated myself, mind, body, and soul. I have believed myself worthless.
Sometimes I still do......
I walked away from an isolated, neglected childhood home only to run straight into the arms of an abusive husband. He had no problem impressing on me how undesireable I was, how useless, how absolutely unable to be loved by anyone else I was. One day, three weeks after my son was born, I woke up and decided that I didn't care if I was worthless, my son wasn't and I wasn't going to raise him in that kind of environment. So I took my son and ran, got a divorce and sole custody, and started over. The only problem? I still felt two inches tall and unlovable.
Through time, much prayer, and God's unending mercy and grace, I have come through the fog little by little. I have fought, and succeeded in improving my image of myself. (In fact, I can be a bit unbarable about how awesome I am, LOL) But, there are times when the demons raise their heads. When all I can think of is being a child sitting alone and hungry at the house, wondering if my parents even remembered I was there. Or being a young, pregnant wife hearing my husbands voice repeat how useless and unattractive I was. There are times when all the hard work seems for naught.
I find weight loss difficult, because no matter how hard I try it is so very difficult for me to believe myself worth it. Right now is one of those times. I just don't feel like I deserve to be healthy, or happy, or pretty. This will pass, it always does, but it is a difficult time when dark memories are hovering. Christ believed I was worth it, so why do I worry about what anyone else thinks of me?

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MIJENN 11/15/2011 7:55AM

    emoticon You have been through quite a bit, but it is a path that will help you as life goes on. You can relate to others that have been in those situations and help them rise above and become strong and confident. Believe it or not you will be an example of 'how to and I can'. You are not alone with the weight and I'm sure we all have something that is keeping it 'on' for our safety net. Being our true selves is never easy but we all are amazing people. Once the emotional, and spiritual has been worked on the physical tends to follow. We are all here for you as I know you will overcome your previous struggles and shine bright just like the person you are inside.

Comment edited on: 11/15/2011 7:55:48 AM

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KATIEM929 11/14/2011 2:59PM

    I'm so sorry you've been through so much pain. Those early childhood scars run deep and taint everything we do as adults. Please know that you are ABSOLUTELY worthy of love and good things. I know it's easier said than done, but it's true. And you are on an incredible journey toward health, both physically and mentally. Personally, I am a big believer in counseling (I've been seeing the same therapist for 9 years!) because sometimes I need help moving past a painful memory, seeing a situation differently and/or making sure my children don't feel the way I felt when I was growing up. I hope you continue to reach out for support whenever you need it...we are all in this life together, even if it feels lonely sometimes. God bless you!
emoticon emoticon

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MJREIMERS 11/14/2011 2:53PM

    Well, I think you are worth it and you are beautiful already. Your weight loss journey is not a lonely one. There are many of us already walking...ahead of you, with and beside you, and some behind. We have encircled you so that you are learning from some of us, being partners with others, and leading still others.

Hang in there! Life isn't always easy, but you are never alone and you are always loved. emoticon emoticon

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Happy Veteran's Day and Friday!

Friday, November 11, 2011

First of all I want to thank all the veteran's, because without them social networking at places like Sparkpeople, and everything else we do every day, would be much different or impossible, and I am grateful for my freedom!!

Now, Friday has been better than Thurday in all respects, thank God. My eating has been better, my water intake has been better, my attitude and everything. Nothing like a good nights sleep =) Everyone have a great weekend!!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MADDY93 11/11/2011 5:53PM

    Glad to hear eating has been well! Good luck during the weekend!

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