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Giving up my blanky, changing tastes...

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

So, I have been being very good here lately. I have been cutting out my artificial sweetners, I have been chosing more foods with ingredients I can pronounce, I am eating less, and I am losing weight, all of which is extremely awesome. But, I have run into another unforseen issue. I didn't know that the way things taste would change. For example: I wanted a Coke Zero really badly, the other day. I bought my Coke Zero to go with my lunch, took a big ol' swig and was like "Ew. This is nasty. " I haven't had anything with aspertame in it for a few weeks and now I am back to not liking it. This morning the same thing happened, only it was with my beloved sweet tea. I have also limited, though not cut out, my white sugar/flour intake. I still drink sweet tea at home, but the amount of sugar I put in it has been reduced. Anyway, I wanted some caffeine and learning from my Coke Zero episode I decided to get plain old sweet tea from my favorite convenience store. I love this sweet tea, it is fabulous. Or it was. Because I got to my desk and took a big ol' swig of my fabulous sweet tea, and y'all, it was like drinking syrup. It is so sweet I can't even drink it. All the healthiness I have been taking in is working its magic I guess, because things I previously thought wonderful don't taste right anymore.

I hadn't expected this. I expected to start craving healthier foods (which has happened), I expected to lose some of my desire for the unhealthy things I used to love (which has happened), but I never expected to find that when I do want those things they would taste completely different. Does this happen to everyone, or am I just a jelly bean of a different flavor? It is a good thing, but at the same time it is a little sad, because there is nothing like anticipating something you really like only to find it isn't as good as you remember. There is some disappointment to be had. I am enjoying to good side of it, but was not expecting the disappointed side.

It is baffling to me, but maybe it shouldn't be. So much of myself has been poured into eating these things, savoring them, finding comfort in them, that I supposed this is somewhat natural. It is sorta like a child giving up their comfort object as they grow and get older. I am relinquishing my "blanky" so to speak, as I put forth effort to be healthier both physically and emotionally, and that is something I have to adjust to, both physically and emotionally...

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PINKBEANBOO 3/28/2012 11:52AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
Giving up blankey, that is a great analogy!
Yes, that did happen to me. I loved Diet Pepsi. I loved the overdrive peppy feeling it gave me. Now, when I think I'll treat myself to a soda it just isn't so great. I can't take more than a few sips. It is a bit of a bummer that I can't get that caffeine high but it is easy to remind myself how much better I've felt since getting off the stuff. Drinking all of those chemicals is just not something I ever want to go back to.

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Unofficial Weigh In

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Well, today is a new and better day. I am so grateful for the new chances each day brings. I ended up giving in to my sweet tooth yesterday, but, I was careful about my calories and still came out ok. One nice thing about being good has been that I can eat one sweet treat in a day and I don't feel awful. I just get to enjoy my treat and go on, because I am not cramming my face full constantly. Now, I do not have a sweet treat everyday, I don't trust myself to do that because it is all too easy to go from just one, to just two, to just eating the way I ate to get where I am. If I am really truly craving a treat then I can have one, because I refuse to be miserable, but if I can ignore the craving for a little while and it goes away then I don't eat the treat emoticon

I also did an unofficial weigh in this morning, just to see if my scale numbers have moved downward and I am happy to say that they have. Hard work is paying off, which is always nice to see.

In other news, a great non scale victory have been added to my list. Yesterday was tough, I was emotionally drained and just aching to give into my emotional eating habit. But, I made it, I actually was good even though I was stressed. I went to wal mart to buy some sweet potatos to go with dinner and I wanted so badly to buy some sugar cookies to devour on the way home. I would have thrown the cartoon away at a gas station before I got to the house so know one would know I'd done it. I even picked the package up and put it in the buggy, telling myself I deserved a treat. However, as I walked through the store and thought about what I was doing, I decided that while I did deserve a treat, I did not deserve to sabotage myself by eating an entire dozen of big ol' sugar cookies. So I put those cookies back, went on to finish my shopping, and walked out the door feeling much better about myself. That was some hard stuff y'all, but it felt so good to succeed.

Here's to another great day, can't wait to see what happens!

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RHUMES 3/20/2012 2:18PM

  I love that you were able to put the cookies back! I always end up buying them, and then I give them to my kids when I get home. Lucky for me I have very active kids who burn it faster than they could eat it : ).

Great job, stay positive and enjoy this wonderful day!

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I'm feeling everything

Monday, March 19, 2012

I am an emotional eater. I don't think that this is a new catagory for anyone, there are lots of us out there. But since I have been sticking to my plan I have run into an unforseen issue. Because I am not eating my feelings, I am actually feeling them. Positive and negative, they are all assaulting my senses at full force. I am not entirely certain how to handle them all. Things hurt me that I didn't realize hurt, because before I would just pick up a Blizzard from Dairy Queen and it was all OK. I feel sorry for people because I am so emotional right now as I adjust to dealing with things and learn how to do it right. Feeling these things can hurt. I don't like it. My fiance unwittlingly did something that my ex husband used to do that was particularly hurtful, and I just fell apart. My fiance didn't mean it to be hurtful, and he couldn't have known that my exhusband used to do it just for that reason, but I fell apart. My crutch was gone and I had to feel it. I hadn't realized all of the things I had pushed back with food, things I hadn't dealt with that I thought I had gotten past. I understand why I didn't want to deal with it, the pain of the abuse is hard to face, but I didn't do myself any favors by swallowing it so I could feel better. I am determined to really on Christ to move past this and not fall back to food this time. But it hurts. It is overwhelming. It is just plain hard. But, as my grandmother is always telling me, this too shall pass. So forward I go, fighing to keep going in the right direction so that I can reach my destination.

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DIANAPOST12 3/19/2012 11:03AM

  emoticonYou can get through this and it will get better. I did the same thing and kept everything inside and would eat or drink when I was frustrated or mad. It's hard but it gets easier. I just bought an Eliptical bike about 2 weeks ago and when I got on it for the first time and started excersizing i just started crying for no apparent reason. I was feeling good, having a good day but I guess I just locked some emotions away And it let loose. But I felt a lot better afterwards. So apparently I needed to cry. emoticon Keep on going.You will see it gets easier

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Drinking my calories

Friday, March 16, 2012

Ever since my days with Weight Watchers I have been told drinking my calories is a no-no. Now that I am actually seriously applying myself to my weight loss journey I am beginning to see why. Drinks with calories are so not worth it, I mean, I think they are at the time, but when it comes down to it, after tracking and looking at these things, they are really not worth it. Because I am trying to get healthier I have been working at kicking my use of aspertame and other artificial sweetners, for me they just aren't what I need right now. That really narrows down my drink choices. I had sweet tea with two different meals yesterday, wracking up over 300 calories and putting me well over my goals. Was the tea good? Yes it was! Was it worth it? No, not really. I have been sticking to mostly water, and I may just have to switch to almost entirely water, and my almond milk, because I loves me some almond milk y'all. Because to see my final calorie tally, and know that foodwise I did ok, but then to see the sweet tea push me over my calorie goals, was a sad thing.

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MISHMOM 3/21/2012 11:41PM

    I have a big box of Stevia packets and a big bottle of lemon juice. I love drinking stevia-sweetened lemonade. 2 tbsp lemon juice to 16 oz water, and 1-2 packets of stevia depending on how sweet you like your lemonade. I have also recently given up diet sodas (very recently, finally cut the cord on Coke Zero 2 weeks ago). I drink Vitamin Waters now and then. I will get bored of nothing but water, so I have to shake it up now and then. Can you add stevia to some ice tea? emoticon

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PINKBEANBOO 3/16/2012 12:38PM

    Don't be sad - be happy! Happy that now you know.
You will not regret switching to water & milk only. You'll feel better. I've read that diet soda actually makes us eat more. Have you heard that? If not, Google it. Very interesting.
Since I quit drinking soda, sometimes I treat myself to one. Funny thing is after a couple of sips I don't want any more.

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CAR58OLE 3/16/2012 12:28PM

    How about trying some Splenda in your tea, instead of sugar?
I dont think you should have to AVOID anything completely... then it becomes something you have a craving for!!

Just my opinion... but getting healthier doesn't really mean dieting - and deprivation!

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Hate Time Change

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

I haven't slept roperly since the time changed. I hate the time changes, they throw me off my sleep and it feels like it takes forever to get back to where I was. emoticon I am not a girl that does well with her beauty rest, so, look out world, Grumpy's non dwarf cousin, Cranky, is about to head to the office....


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