Tuesday, November 27, 2007
What a wonderful weekend...lots of friends, food and holiday spirit. After we fed people in our home for a few days, hubby and I (first time he has EVER helped with something like this!) made "all things chocolate" for our friends and coworkers this year...chocolate liqueur, pretzels, spoons, and little jars of ground up Mexican chocolate for hot cocoa. I know it is high calorie, high sugar and fat, BUT, it is all delicious, and for good friends (most of who are NOT overweight!) and they will love it.
My dad is in the hospital. Chest pain. EMT's. The works...but all tests are negative, and he is doing great (probably home by now) When I talked to him last night, he said he'd blown up a queen sized air mattress, and then decorated the Christmas tree. AND my mom had been "home from school" since Weds and he was exhausted...can't even take a nap because he can't leave her alone for a moment. I feel SO bad for him. Here I am struggling with my body, and he is 85, struggling with his, AND has my mom to contend with....I think he's going to be seriously looking at placement for her before too much longer. My heart breaks for him...
House is clean. Hot water is restored. Neighbors have their Christmas goodies, and we will head back to our "urban apartment" soon. We ended up taking today off work. We just couldn't deal with driving home so late last night.
Despite all the busy-ness, there was a lot of contemplative time spent this long weekend...Evaluating my life, my relationships, my behaviors...Always seeking to improve. In SO many areas.
At least this week, I'm eating better. I started this morning off with a smoothie...and have turkey soup ready to heat for dinner....No sugar this week...have a holiday kick off party this weekend, and then several after that...so I want to eat clean at least this week.
So much to be thankful for...
Thursday, November 22, 2007
That is who we spent the day with. What a glorious day of thanksgiving....We worked at a church in town that fed hundreds...Young, old and everywhere in between. What a joy to serve and sit with them...hear their stories, share some laughs and blessings together. Some were homeless, some were lonely. Some were hungry, some just went for fellowship. And what a joy to welcome them all.
As someone who believes we need to express gratitude every day, I was exceptionally blessed to share the day with so many that took this time officially and publicly express thanks. And to see how little some of them had, and yet still were able and proud to express appreciation for their lives. A new tradition in our lives...
Son and family are in Mexico, my parents and sibs are 500 miles away, and yet I feel so full of "family", having spent the day with so many human brothers and sisters....
Tomorrow, I am cooking a traditional Thanksgiving meal. We're having couple of neighbors and an old high school friend of my hubby's. Only 6 of us with a 22 pounder. Yea...lots of leftovers! What a wonderful weekend of blessings.
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
I woke up this morning, for the first time in about 2 weeks...pain free...my face looks like crap now, but doesn't hurt like it did. It was funny. One of the gals I work with has been on vacation for two weeks, and returned today. The first thing she asked was "what is this new thing on your face?" Ha ha ha ha...all scabs and red crusties? Oh, TH-AT...much better. Thanks, all of you for your prayers. They WORKED!
So no more pain meds, no more junk food binges. Back to my normal self.
It was a brisk frostie walk to work today...expect to be colder tomorrow. Sure made me walk fast! I am excited to know there is free parking 6 blocks from the office (only if I get there by 6:30 a.m.) After that, there's not a spot to be found. It is nice to have the option of getting to work so early. It will be nice tomorrow when we want to leave town at a reasonable hour.
Busy long weekend ahead. Volunteering Thursday, cooking a full spread on Friday. House guest that night, and another couple on Saturday. Sunday, making up Christmas baskets, "All Things Chocolate"(spoons, truffles, liqueur, and Mexican chocolate ground up and put in little jars...YUM-MY). I think they will be VERY well received, because they will be a little different than the usual homemade goodies.
Feeling tremendous gratitude for my life, for my friends (including cyber!) for my family, for my health, for my home, for my cat curled up next to me, and my wonderful bed, which is calling me...
Monday, November 19, 2007
It’s been a rough week…My face hurts so much. I’ve had very little sleep, and need a pain pill to get any. Then I feel hung over all day, and SO depressed. I hate them. What do people with chronic, life time pain do? I am SO much more empathetic than I was two years ago….
This will pass. The worst IS behind me…only another week or two on the nose and one lesion on my cheek. The rest of my face, forehead, chin and cheeks are pretty much scabbing up, so time to quit the ointment. But my poor nose. It looks like a road rash…NO skin…just raw, red and ugly. AND it never stops burning….But, I keep reminding myself of the two gals I know whose husbands’ are dying of melanoma…Then, perspective regained, I let go of any struggle.
Had a wonderful day yesterday. Son and grandkids, sister and her family came over to celebrate my son’s birthday (tomorrow) and Thanksgiving, since none of us will be together on Thursday. Dinner was great. Everyone was in a good mood and laughed a lot. Oh, the joy that those little ones bring. And oh, how they love coming to Grandma’s. The next time I will see them it will be to take them to their first Nutcracker….They have never even heard the music. It should be a wondrous event!
Busy, busy week ahead…Tomorrow night is the only night for another week that nothing is on the calendar. Hopefully, I can get caught up on some sleep…
Thursday, November 15, 2007
I had a long talk with my attorney yesterday. He feels, after consulting with the MD/JD that I saw a few months ago, that there is no case, unless I undergo another surgery, remove the mesh and determine the coil is actually defective. It's a catch 22. I need proof to proceed. And the only proof is if they cut me open. There is a strong likelihood, with the immediate post op complications and all the ongoing discomfort I have, but since it doesn't show on x-rays or scans (of which I have had both), that the coil IS problematic. But, there is NO way, I will undergo another surgery again, unless I am in a life threatening situation. Period.
So...at this point, the manufacturer, and the hospital that did the surgery is still liable for potential medical problems related to the recall, but I will not be proceeding with legal action, unless complications DO arise (God willling that will never happen)
I am really relieved. I am not a litigious person...Life hands us all hardships, pain and suffering. No way to get around it. And I get angry when I see people trying to capitalize on incidents that can happen to anyone. But I do feel this manufacturer SHOULD be held accountable. At least there are hundreds, if not thousands, of other people going forth after determining their mesh WAS defective. At least THEY can ensure this company never gets away with what they tried to do...
I am coming to grips that yoga, belly dancing and other activities that stress "my core" may NEVER be in my life again...I will try again in a few weeks to see if I can tolerate a simple yoga class. Three tries. And if I can't do it, I wait a year before I try again....I am kind of blue today...It's no fun realizing my body won't work the way I want it to. During this entire process, I felt like I would be "whole" again. Hope was always there. I though I could resume activity as someone who has never undergone what I did. Now, I am facing the fact that I probably will have limitations for the rest of my life.
On the other hand, I am thankful I do not look like a freak anymore. My belly is flat. And most of the time, clothing hides my hideous scarring and "hole" (dent) in my abs, as a result of the scar tissue. So there you go. Life goes on....
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