Wednesday, January 17, 2007
I do feel new again. Starting over. A "Re-birthday" is a great term...
One of the things that I am going to do today, is spend less time here...on the computer. I find I sit WAY too much if I get hooked on these pages....I do need to be more active. Took a physical break yesterday (slept 10 hours last night so my body must have needed it) but will get the aerobics in again later today...
I am stuck as to what to fix for dinner...NOTHING looks or sounds good right now. One of those days I want some one else to make a decision. Wonder if the ones we cook for ever realize what a responsibility it is to THINK every day...what are we going to eat. Guess on the other side of things, if someone else always made the decision, and I had no input, that would be just as bad. But *I* would at least cook PART of the time to have what I wanted! My hubby claims to be culinarily challenged. And starts shaking as soon as I hand him a knife to chop something or a spoon to mix something! (I'm not complaining, he does laundry!) Sigh...maybe it is a good night to go out for soup.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
It was one year ago today, that I made the commitment to change my life. I met with the surgeon, and scheduled the long put off repair of my hernia. I asked if we could wait until June, so that I could lose 10 pounds a month, and be thinner and healthier to go under the knife.
What a journey it has been...73 pounds later, and half way to goal. I have learned so much thus far. I don't need to eat to feel full....to calm myself, to cheer myself up and so on. There is no need to feed my internal anger, sadness, anxiety, fear, or any other emotion...I am finally, finally, an adult. I know there alternative ways to cope, and they are much healthier.
I fully recognize the two areas that set me up....one is fatigue. I have to be very careful to get enough sleep and/or rest time. If I become over tired, I do not think as clearly, and do not have the strength to resist old habits...The other time I tend to lose my mindful way of eating is in social settings. I am very blessed to have wonderful friends, but some of my dearest are foodies like I am....and when we go out, food and wine are the center of the evening. I am doing things like eating VERY lightly during the day, and nursing one glass of wine throughout the evening. Also suggesting exercise (together) after the meal...even a short walk to boost metabolism. There are many ways of dealing with it. Also. I do NOT do seconds at pot lucks....
I have bumped up my raw food intake. Shooting for at least 60% in the warmer months. Trying for 40% now...Hanging in at around 25-30% caloric intake being raw. SO in addition to no refined sugar, processed foods, artificial ingredients, I have added this concept to my eating plan. Have to admit, it feels good.
Yes, it has been a journey. My motivation has been really strong the past few days. I played with fire through the holiday season. That is behind me now. It is clear I am back on the path...although the scale is not showing a drop, it is not showing a gain either...and knowing my pattern, one morning I will go in a see huge loss.
I am struggling with exercise. Yesterday it felt soooooo good! But my body is rebeling today. I have to remember to take it slow. I am not 25, or even 40 anymore...and my old joints have been abused for a lot of years...I did ice my knee after a 3.5 combined mileage on the eliptical and treadmill yesterday. It is not bothering me, but my shoulder is...from all the spinning at the dance class last night! Never dreamed that would flare up. So I am still learning. What to do, what NOT to do....I have to remind myself constantly that I am still in the healing mode. (Pain has greatly subsided around the incision, so I think it WAS due to all the coughing!)
What a journey.
Monday, January 15, 2007
We had an awesome weekend. Lots of "friend time"...
To compensate for all the food events the past few days, I have upped the excercise (Danced 1/2 hour already this am) and am heading off to the gym to do the eliptical for a while. AND dancing lesson tonight. Hubby is doing GREAT, and he LOVES it! Whoo hooo....we may be on to something here.
Belly is still a little tender. The rest of my body really wants to move, and stretch...OH I miss my yoga....but each time I do, I pay a price, so still am being (perhaps overly) cautious. It is amazing how much abdominal (core) stress most movements cause. As long as I am "upright" and not twisting too much, I am ok...It is the remembering to be kind and patient with myself. Laying down the need for immediate gratification. Always looking at the big picture...what is best in the long run....
Saturday, January 13, 2007
I am NOT going near the scale. I had boulebaise for dinner last night, and although it was incredibly low in calories, it must have been incredibly HIGH in sodium. My fingers look like sausages and my eyes are soooo puffy! I am pushing fluids to get rid of the excess in my body...I cannot imagine what the scale would show. Since I know it is "water weight" I am not concerned.
Off to farmers' market. Then clean clean clean...
Friday, January 12, 2007
This is why I hate the scale. All week at work, people have been telling me how thin I look....even since Christmas....and I have been really eating well most of the time. I have gotten in some aerobic exercise daily. I dropped 3 pounds early this week, and thought for the fun of it, I would see my amazing progress....HAH! Up FOUR pounds. Go figure.
Again, I say, the scale is a liar. I don't know why I succumb to its numbers. I have done well, it shows a gain. If I "cheat" I can still lose...what deception. I will not be set up by it today. I am still "DOING" the right thing. The pounds will fall off as my body releases them. I am still exhausted - fighting the flu, still struggling with sleep, and still healing.
My body has other things to work on right now. I will just tell it I love it the way it is, thank it for providing me with a vessel to live in, remind it I am doing my part, and then be patient. It is one of my very best friends. And I have to listen to it when it is struggling. Cannot expect it to do what *I* want it to, WHEN I want it to...it is busy now, with other issues. The pounds seem to be on the back burner. When my body is ready, it will get them taken care of....
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