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New Years Resolution Choices

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHIERKEN 12/27/2011 9:55PM

    I hope to go with Option A:1: Buy smaller-waisted jeans . . . .
wish me success!!

Comment edited on: 12/27/2011 9:56:45 PM

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 12/27/2011 10:19AM

    Ha ha!! That is cute!

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TRUCKERWIFE2 12/27/2011 9:33AM

    Very cute.

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CAROL- 12/27/2011 8:55AM

    Think my cat is going with option b, hoping I don't have to join him. emoticon

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Peanuts - LOL

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Florida Seniors Bus Tour....

A tour bus driver drives with a bus full of seniors down a highway, when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.

After approximately 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. She repeats this gesture about eight times.

At the ninth time he asks the little old lady why they do not eat the peanuts themselves. She replies that it is not possible because of their old teeth. They are not able to chew them.

"Why do you buy them then?" he asks puzzled. Whereupon the old lady answers, "We just love the chocolate around them."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROL- 12/27/2011 7:07AM

    lol, but yuck!

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IDLETYME 12/24/2011 10:19AM

    EEEWW! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GAILRUU 12/24/2011 10:07AM

    Yuck!

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TWEETYKC00 12/24/2011 12:15AM

    emoticon emoticon

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The Pastor

Monday, December 19, 2011

A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday
after he gets his new teeth, he talks for only eight minutes. The second
Sunday, he talks for only ten minutes. The following Sunday, he talks
for 2 hours and 48 minutes.

The congregation had to mob him to get him down from the pulpit and they
asked him what happened.

The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt so bad he couldn't
talk for more than 8 minutes. The second Sunday his gums hurt too much
to talk for more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put his
wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up....

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAILRUU 12/20/2011 7:51PM

    emoticon

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PATTIE441 12/20/2011 10:30AM

    emoticonHilarious!! Woo Hoo!! emoticon emoticon

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BELSNICKEL 12/19/2011 5:02PM

    emoticon ho ho ho

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-POLEDANCEGIRL- 12/19/2011 9:42AM

    That is funny!! love it!!

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CAROL- 12/19/2011 7:11AM

    emoticon

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Mama

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers, and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well.

I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.

She wrote: " Milton , the house you built is so huge; I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead; I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Bob, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift.

The chicken was delicious. Merry Christmas!
Thank you.
Luv Ya, Mama."

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHIERKEN 12/14/2011 12:31AM

    OMG! And here I thought it was going to have a sappy ending!!!! Thanks for the good laugh : )

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BELSNICKEL 12/13/2011 8:01AM

    emoticon emoticon

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GINA4EVER 12/13/2011 7:26AM

    Thanks for starting my morning off with a smile! :)

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No Nativity Scene in DC

Wednesday, December 07, 2011

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States' Capital this Christmas season.

This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capitol.

The search for a Virgin continues.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAILRUU 12/10/2011 4:23PM

    How funny!

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HEALTHIERKEN 12/7/2011 10:36AM

    Thanks for this blog. When I read the title I had a sinking feeling it was going to be an inaccurate diatribe against some non-existent anti-Christmas policy. This is much more to the point, and it's just as true for our seat of government as yours : ) : ) : )


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MRE1956 12/7/2011 8:11AM

    Ya sure got that one right!

emoticon

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CAROL- 12/7/2011 8:05AM

    emoticonGood one!

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JAVAGAL2 12/7/2011 7:57AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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