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Congress taken hostage

Tuesday, December 06, 2011

A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC.

Nothing was moving.

Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.

The driver rolls down the window and asks,"What's going on?"

"Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom.

Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.

We are going from car to car, collecting donations."

"How much is everyone giving, on average?" the driver asks.

The man replies, "Roughly a gallon."


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAILRUU 12/10/2011 4:25PM


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    I'm not sure if I like the joke or your background more.


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MRE1956 12/6/2011 3:18PM

    (insert obligatory rimshot here)


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CAROL- 12/6/2011 2:17PM

    Super funny! emoticon

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BELSNICKEL 12/6/2011 12:59PM

    so where do we give, emoticon

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heartwarming lawyer

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass.

Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.

He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"

"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."

"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.

"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."

"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.

Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"

"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.

They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.

Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind."

"Thank you for taking all of us with you.

The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it.
"You'll really love my place.
"The grass is almost a foot high.

Come on really didn't think there was such a thing as a heartwarming lawyer story...did you????

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AZMOMXTWO 11/29/2011 6:26AM

  ok I thot it was going to end different

good one

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NCSUE0514 11/29/2011 6:07AM


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How not to select a Turkey

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GAILRUU 12/16/2011 5:31PM

    I like this~

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IDLETYME 11/24/2011 9:22AM

    Great! emoticon

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EMGERBER 11/23/2011 7:28AM


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Places I have and have not been...

Wednesday, November 09, 2011

I was in Credulous when I got this. I know it is hard to believe.

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently,
you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to
be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends,
family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too
much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to
visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the
adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the
stimuli I can get!

And, sometimes I think I am in Vincible but life shows me I am not!

I have been in Deepdoodoo many times; the older I get, the easier it is to
get there.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PATTIE441 11/19/2011 7:19AM

    Awesome!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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What A Lonely Guy Does In Antarctica

Sunday, November 06, 2011

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THREADS3 11/6/2011 1:01PM

    We'll never know... :(

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CARLAH528 11/6/2011 11:06AM

    That is too funny! I love penquins anyway so it was just so cute.

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