Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers, and prospered.
Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.
The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."
The second said, "I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."
The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."
The fourth said, "You know how Mama loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well.
I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mama just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."
The other brothers were impressed.
After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes.
She wrote: " Milton , the house you built is so huge; I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."
"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home; I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."
"Michael, you gave me an expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead; I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."
"Dearest Bob, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift.
The chicken was delicious. Merry Christmas!
Luv Ya, Mama."
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States' Capital this Christmas season.
This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find Three Wise Men in the Nation's Capitol.
The search for a Virgin continues.
There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
A driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington DC.
Nothing was moving.
Suddenly, a man knocks on the window.
The driver rolls down the window and asks,"What's going on?"
"Terrorists have kidnapped Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom.
Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire.
We are going from car to car, collecting donations."
"How much is everyone giving, on average?" the driver asks.
The man replies, "Roughly a gallon."
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
One afternoon a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the road-side eating grass.
Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and got out to investigate.
He asked one man, "Why are you eating grass?"
"We don't have any money for food," the poor man replied. "We have to eat grass."
"Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you," the lawyer said.
"But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree."
"Bring them along," the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, "You may come with us, also."
The second man, in a pitiful voice, then said, "But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!"
"Bring them all as well," the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once under way, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, "Sir, you are too kind."
"Thank you for taking all of us with you.
The lawyer replied, "Glad to do it.
"You'll really love my place.
"The grass is almost a foot high.
Come on now...you really didn't think there was such a thing as a heartwarming lawyer story...did you????
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
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