Tuesday, May 31, 2011
I DID IT!!!
I’m still beaming with pride. My cheeks hurt from smiling so hard! Sunday, May 29th, as promised (to myself, on Friday afternoon after I got off the treadmill), I went for a run…outside!
Sunday afternoon– It was hot, sunny, and humid.
I drove to Jamaica Pond, with a huge knot in my stomach. I was so nervous. As I drove up to the pond, I could see all the runners just plugging along. They didn’t even look like they were sweating. I was so intimidated and SO unprepared. Where do I put my keys? My phone? There’s no little tray to set these things on, like on the treadmill. And I REFUSE to wear a fanny pack, so that wasn’t an option. My sports bra…ok, I looked lumpy, but whatever, my stuff was safe.
I stood by my car, did my stretches, drank some water, adjusted my headphones…and finally stopped stalling and just went for it! The pond has a 1.5mile circumference, so I figured I needed to make it around twice to call it a 5k.
Man, this is WAY harder than a treadmill! It didn’t even feel like the same exercise! Everything about it felt so different. It was hard. My breathing was all choked and ragged. The ground felt like it was coming up under me. And all my jiggly parts seemed to jiggle extra hard, so I was self conscience on top of everything else.
I had to stop, several times, to walk for a few and catch my breath before I could get back to jogging. I gotta admit there were moments where I really hated it. Well, actually, I hated all of it that first time.
There were people just whizzing by me, without a care in the world, and I know I looked like I was dying (cuz that’s how I felt!). And that was just the first 1.5miles! I felt awful!
But I remembered your words. A few of you told me that running outside was harder and what might feel like a failure, is actually an accomplishment. So I kept going.
50min it took me to run/walk 3miles. And I was a mess. I sat in my car with the A/C blasting, practically in tears because I felt like I had done horribly. But I wasn’t ready to give up, so I planned to be back the next day.
Monday morning - It was cloudy and cool.
What a friggin’ difference! This time around, I felt like I was flying! Lol! I planned my walk breaks, I gave myself mini-goals (i.e. jog to the next bench, walk for 30seconds, then jog to that tree…ok, now see if you can pass that guy, etc…) I felt so much more aware of what I was doing. I felt focused and I finished at 41minutes! Yay! (I know some of y’all can take down a 5k in 20minutes. I’m not there yet.) My car was parked on a hill, and I seriously could hear the Rocky theme song in my head, as I ran up that hill to finish my run, LOL!
I woke up with a sore knee this morning, so I don’t know if I should attempt to go out again tonight. But I really want to!
Some things that I learned:
The weather makes a BIG difference. So does my attitude. On that first run I was scared, self conscience, nervous, unprepared, and focused on everything BUT what I was there for. I was worried about what I looked like, what the “real” runners were thinking when they saw me, and how much I just wanted it to be over. And it was HOT out there! The second time though, it was like I was a different person. I don’t know what clicked from one day to the next, but I’m glad it did. I actually enjoyed my run. I felt like I belonged there. And thankfully it was much cooler.
The treadmill has been DEMOTED! At least until the snow comes, cuz I don’t see myself running in snow, lol!
Thank you so much for your inspiration, Sparkies! I owe this little victory to you.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
My entire health journey was “sparked” by C25K on January 17, 2011. Dr. MLK day, you know…because “I have a Dream”… I’m such a cornball, I’m sorry! LOL!!!
Anyway, I decided that I didn’t much like the idea of running/walking outside, not yet anyway. It wasn’t that I felt insecure about folks seeing a chubby woman running down the street. It was more about my odd fear of tripping and hurting myself and then having to limp all the way home. Chubby, runner-wanna-be, looking pretty pathetic and dragging herself home after FAILING at running. THAT’s what I was insecure about.
So I went online and searched for a treadmill version. Then I searched for a local gym (with child care), not an easy task, but I found one. I enlisted a work-out buddy, and I was on my way. I was done making excuses.
C25K was not nice to me. First of all, my knees are crunchy. I sounded like a bag of chips after that first week. But I’m nothing, if not stubborn, so I went out and bought knee braces…yes, TWO of them! Yeah, I looked like I could’ve performed in Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation” video, but I didn’t care. I was determined to learn to run.
And I was doing it! I was running! And I hated it. It killed my knees, and by week 3 I was ready to quit.
By week 4, my knees decided for me that it was time to let go of C25K. It was just too much pain. It sucked and I was so prepared to just tuck in to huge bowl of fettucine alfredo and give up on the whole damn thing.
Thank goodness for SP.
I didn’t give up. I found other ways to get my cardio in. I was introduced to the wicked witch, that I love to hate… Jillian Michael’s. Little by little I learned what a healthy lifestyle is supposed to be and what it isn’t.
Yeah, I’ve had my low’s but that’s why it’s called a “journey”, there are bound to be hard times. I actually think those tough times are necessary. They show us what we’re made of when we overcome them.
Yesterday I got back on that treadmill ready to face C25K once again. I’ve been sort of walk/jogging at my own pace for months, so I felt comfortable starting at Week 3. THIS time, I was almost 20lbs lighter, had the right shoes, knee braces in place (just in case), and I had my Droid app to tell me when to walk and when to run (I LOVE this friggin phone, btw!)
It was over before I knew it! I stepped off the treadmill feeling like I could’ve done it all over again, no sweat. Hell, it felt easy! I went ahead and did 45min of ST and practically floated out of that gym.
If I've learned anything since my "I have a dream" day, it's this:
Whatever you do, don’t give up. Giving up is the one and only way to guarantee that you will fail. Stumble, fall down, inhale that pound of bacon…and when you’re done with the self abuse…Get Back Up!
Monday, May 16, 2011
I’ve been MIA from the blogging scene and I’m not really sure why. I know I need to write my thoughts to keep me on track, but lately…I’ve just been so….blah. So I’ll try to keep my thoughts organized (yeah right…)
I was doing great! I was in Onderland, it was awesome and then…. I got cocky. Last Thursday my brother invited me out to dinner. I don’t know why, but I just ate what I wanted to eat. Blatant disregard for calorie counting, for checking the menu for lighter version…nothing. I made zero effort to be healthy at that meal. Now, the problem wasn’t that one meal. I’ve always been a strong advocate for finding a place for my favorite foods in my “diet” otherwise I’d just be miserable all the time. The problem came AFTER this meal. For some reason, ever since then, I’ve just been so lax with my eating. I’ve been grazing, which is never a good thing for me. I take the term WAY too literally and end up eating like a cow. I’m pretty sure I ate over 2000 each day since Thursday. And of course, I didn’t track any of it.
Today is a new day, I feel good and positive. And I know that this weird, eat-it-all phase is tapering off. So I’m not gonna beat myself up about it. Even if I did lose my grip on the ever evasive "Onederland"
I’m actually proud of myself on this one. Sunday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday… I was at the gym sweating. It’s a good thing too, cuz the way I was eating those 2lbs could’ve easily been 5. Yesterday I was on the treadmill again, but I was practically in tears. It’s amazing, no for real…AMAZING…what an impact my food makes on my energy at the gym. It was so sad yesterday. I knew I was in for it when I winced at the 1st 10seconds of jogging. My chest was heaving, my throat was closing, I was making ugly-face, cursing like a sailor in my head….all from a 3mile walk/jog.
Blood sugars –
Again, I was doing so great checking my BS 4-5x/day and maintaining my sugars within normal range. This weekend though? I checked it 4x total… not good. Even worse, was that my BS varied from 47 (way too low) to 278 (way too high), so I obviously didn’t have a handle on it at all.
So here it is Monday. I’ve got my meals tracked/planned, healthy snacks in reach, 64oz jug is full of water, fasting BS at 111 this morning, and tonight I’m back at the gym. Today’s supposed to be my rest day, but I feel like I need to get back at it asap and shake off this funk as quickly as I can.
And then there’s…
Office Biggest Loser -
Need I say more? We started a few weeks ago. So far I’m in 2nd place and the 1st place girl is 3lbs ahead of me (i.e. she’s lost 3lbs more than I have). The prize is about $500. We pay $10each every two weeks, winner take all.
I’m gonna need some cheerleaders y’all!
Thursday, May 05, 2011
1.When's the last time you ran? Tuesday, as part of my walk/jog on the treadmill.
2. Do your jeans have rips, tears, and holes in them? No, I don’t really like that look.
3. Would you bungee jump? Yes! I would probably have a panic attack first, but eventually I’d jump.
4. Do you own a pair of Converse? Nope, never have.
5. Were you named after anyone? Yes, my mother, but it was an accident. Back in ’75 my mom didn’t speak English too well, so when she was asked by the nurse, “What’s the name?” She heard, “What’s your name?” and the rest is history.
6. Have you ever stayed online waiting for someone to get one? I’m assuming this is a typo. Have I ever waited for someone to get online? No, but I have checked someone’s FB page like crack-fiend, checking for any comments related to me, lol!
7. What is the first thing you notice about people? Their size - not to judge them, but I’m constantly comparing myself to others. I’m working on it, but it’s such an instinctive thing for me.
8. Do you like your handwriting? Not at all, it’s chicken scratch.
9. What do you do when you're sad? It depends, I guess. Usually, I cry and then find a snack.
10. Who would you call first if you won the lottery? My mom.
11. How do most people spell your name? People tend to misspell my nickname - Tammi, Tammie, Tammy
12. Would you survive in prison? I honestly don’t know and hope to never find out.
13. If all of your friends were going on a road trip, who would most likely over pack? I hate road trips, so I’d take a flight and meet my friends there!
14. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? Yes! I’m awesome!
15. What song best describes your life right now? No more Drama by MJ Blige
16. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed? Closed, definitely.
17. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees? A bear. Bees are relentless. Did you know that if they’re chasing you and you jump in water, they’ll wait for you to come up for air? That’s just pure evil.
18. Do you have freckles? Oddly enough, I do.
19. Who do you miss the most? My first boyfriend, Mark. Actually, not so much him because he’s different now, but the relationship we had.
20. Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing? Yes, there’s always music in my head.
21. What size is your bed? Queen
22. Is it okay for guys to wear pink? Yes, but some guys pull it off much better than others. It’s all about a man’s self confidence.
23. What movies could you watch over and over and still love? Shawshank Redemption, Forrest Gump, Dirty Dancing, Finding Nemo
24. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine? Umm, I’d probably strip before I’d pose nude. I wouldn’t want the evidence to get into the wrong hands
25. Favorite smell? Oranges
26. How many languages can you speak? 3, English, Spanish, and some Italian.
27. Are you afraid of heights? No, I’m afraid of falling from high places.
28. Name a favorite past time memory? Last weekend at the playground with my kids
29. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? Yes, all the time.
30. Can you swim well? Relatively well, I’m no Phelps, but I can hold my own.
31. Favorite sport to watch? Baseball. I’m Dominican, I don’t really have a choice, lol!
32. If you could make the sky any color what would it be? It’s pretty amazing as is, I wouldn’t change a thing.
33. What's your Zodiac Sign? Virgo
34. How tall are you? 5’8”
35. What's your favorite number? 29
36. What's your favorite type of animal? Monkey
37. Do you have a special talent? I knit!
38. What is the least favorite thing about yourself? I wish I were more outgoing
39. What are you listening to right now? Co-workers babbling near my cube.
40. How many siblings do you have? 6, 5 brothers and 1 sister.
41. Are your parents married? Yes
42. If you were stuck on an island and could take one person who would it be? Hmm, I’d have to take 2, or none. My kids.
43. What are your hobbies? Knitting, reading, cooking…doing all of these with my kids.
44. How often do you listen to music? everyday
45. What is your song of the month? I need a Doctor by Dr. Dre
46. What is your favorite color? Any shade of orange
47. Favorite flower? Stargazer Lily, I have one tattooed on my back
48. QUICK THINK OF A NAME!!! Sapphira
49. Was the name that you just thought of someone you know? Nope, she’s a character in a book I’m reading.
50. What is your full name?
Tamara Giselle _______ (y’all are cool and all, but you don’t need to know my last name!)
Your turn! Copy/Paste this into your blog and answer these for yourself. Let us learn a little more about you!
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