Wednesday, October 07, 2009
I've had a little bit...well a lotta bit of stress in my life lately. I want it to go away :[ If you ask Tasha (Tashie321985), I stress a lot. lol. even about the littlest thing that I shouldn't stress over at all. I've always been the one to stress over the little things. I don't know why I let it all get to me. But I have been having some big stressors lately too. And then when I am stressed I eat junk food. Last night I was shoving my face with white cheddar cheez-its and finally I was like, "Ok, you gotta stop! Member you want to lose weight? Yeaaaa, put that box away!" lol So, I'm gonna vent lol.
They are my biggest stressor of all. I still live at home, being a young single mom and all. We get in these random fights every few months and I basically feel that they're telling me in the nicest way possible that I'm a piece of sh*t. It's a great feeling. lol. They tell me I don't contribute enough around the house. They're like yes, we know you go to school. we know you work but still you should be doing more around the house. Ok, soooooo right when they get home from a long hard day how come theyre allowed to just pop a squat inrfront of the tv or take a tap and not do crap around the house. But me... oh hellllllll noooooooo. According to them I should be cleaning, making dinner or some other crap. Sorry, that right when I get home I'm actually in my room studying or trying to spend some time with my daughter!!!!! So, I had been thinking about moving out but that is on hold...
Next, would be my siblings. My sister, God I love this girl to death and would do absolutely anything for her but she just pisses me off! She's friggin 24 years old and hasn't grown up yet. Mind you... she is a single mother and doesn't have her priorities straight. She says shes going to change but I don't know if she's really trying. It's hard to tell with the way the economy is if shes actually tried to look for a job or if she just doesnt care. And it's not so much her that I'm worried about anymore, its my niece, Symphany. I can't stand it when little kids have to go through crap and they can't do anything for themselves to make it better.
Then the brother... hes not my "real" brother but I think of him as one. I just don't know with him at all? Seriously, I don't know. We used to be attatched to the hip and then there were issues going on and ever since then it's been sh*t. He won't ever respond to my texts. He never wants to hang out with me. He lies right to my face when I know the truth. He just up and moved out of his mom's house and told her it's has nothing to do with her but then told his best friend that he's living with now that there are problems between him and his mom. He won't talk to me anymore even if I try to get things out of him. He's just not himself anymore (a lot of other people see it too) and it is driving me crazy!
Lovely, lovely school...oh how I loathe you. lol. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to be getting into the Winter 2010 Nursing Program. I'm in the "overflow" category but I don't know how many other people are in that category too. I know I shouldn't think that but it starts in 3 months and I got my "overflow" acceptance letter back in like July and haven't heard anything since. But I just want to know FOR SURE that I'm not in for winter... ya know? I guess I should ask. lol. But then if I get a response that is basically like, "well, I don't know" I'll just be pissed. lol. And another reason why I want to know for sure if I'm in or not is because I want to deploy before I get out of the military and that would be the perfect time because I would be doing nothing from Jan-Aug. Cause I'm pretty sure I'll be accepted into the Fall 2010 program. But if I can't depoly I'll want to sign up for classes to take to go twoards my bachelors degree. STUPID NURSING PROGRAM. lol. And then of course A&P tests just stress me out no matter what... that will never change. lol.
Well, those are my main stressors... I won't write about the little petty ones that I need to just get over! Lol. Sorry, this was long and basically a b*tch blog. lol. Last night I was wondering how I really stay sane from all of this and I looked right at my daughter and knew it was all because of her. And also my my two very best friends, Tasha (Tashie321985) and Shauna. So, to end on a happy note...I love my girls :]