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Finally kicked it into gear!!!!

Friday, April 06, 2012

So oooo... I'm 214.6 which is wonderful!!! God I love this... MUST KEEP GOING> MUST NOT GIVE UP> LIFE'S HAPPINESS DEPENDS ON IT


Disagreements with weight loss plans

Monday, March 12, 2012

My boyfriend and I disagree on methods of losing weight. He hates vegetables, eats fruit when we can get it and besides that thinks as long as you exercise you can eat literally whatever you want. Which is what he tells me over and over again. and after his losing 60 pounds right before I met him that's what works for him. But heres the thing. Now that we've been together he continues to eat just about anything he wants and doesn't exercise. and then says things like.. "well i haven't gained as much as i thought i would." in order to justify sitting at the computer all day as okay. Which I have no problem with my problems rest in the him telling me I can eat WHATEVER i want with no consequences. Because yes for most people that will work in the beginning when they have a lot of weigh to lose but when it comes down to it.. at some point or another you have to start eating well to continue losing weight or to maintain the weigh which you have lost. Because while a little work in the beginning will make a difference, changing your lifestyle and committing to eating better and exercising will make the change and make the change last!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASHROBOT 3/12/2012 8:35PM

    Barbarasdiet- I know all people have different metabolisms and that men in general lose weight more easily. We are both overweight and while he did lose all that weight and was able to eat anything he wanted.. We were both in school and his course was very strenuous and they demanded a lot of him. They always ran, went to the gym, lots of strength training. I mean it was so much that a lot of people would either pass out or throw up. In addition to what was excepted from him in class, he would always exercise outside of class as well both running and going to the gym. That's why he lost 60 pounds in like 4-5 months.

Darcidalessio- I lose weight fine as long as I work for it. And he has no medical conditions at all. So really I think its just down to exercise. If I exercise all day I could eat whatever I want and lose weight. But if I want a healthy body I really do think it isn't just exercise alone.

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DARCIDALESSIO 3/12/2012 2:09PM

  It is also possible that he is hyper thyroid and you are hypo thyroid. If that is the case he can in fatc eat whatever he wants and not gain weight and you can diet all you want and not losew eight.

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BARBARASDIET 3/12/2012 1:59PM

    People also have very different metabolisms and what will put weight on one person, another can eat without a problem. Also--men lose weight more easily than women in general!

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A mistake but not one you'd think of...

Friday, March 09, 2012

So my boyfriend is amazing. Let me say that first thing. and he does SUPPORT me in the things I do. But today my real dad sent us a housewarming gift: 2- $25 dollar gift cards to go out for a nice dinner, and a Wal-Mart gift card with $250 on it. Which is great. My boyfriend was at work and I decided to go ahead and do some shopping.

I got the things he likes our regulars: Stuff for pita pizzas, milk, cinnamon rolls, ground beef, mio, and stuff to make one of his favorite dinners.. Chicken Alfredo with Fettuccine. And then I bought some things for me so I can start this lifestyle change of right.. frozen vegetables, eggs, yogurt, turkey burgers, fat free shredded cheddar cheese, crystal light, mustard.. a few basics. I also spent $20 ($24?) dollars on a bathroom scale and $1 ($2?) on a pint size mixer that will be great for pancakes (which Austin loves.) He wasn't to happy about the scale but the mixer that I spent a dollar something, he got onto me for it.

And yes this is the stupid part but I have a habit of trying to find a place to be alone when I'm upset. It helps me to just be alone and clear my head. But Austin is someone who feels the need to talk about it right then and there (which I know is logical.) He calls what I do running and hiding and acting like a child.. Which I realize yes it is similar to how a child would act. I remember when I was little in the childrens home when I would get in trouble and I would lock myself in the bathroom with ALL my stuffed animals and cry. Or hide up in the cabinet in my closet. And tonight I walked off shut every door I came to and locked the final one (the bathroom door) and sat on the floor of the closet.. and when he came knocking which was immediately like always. I didn't open the door. He took it off the hinges to get in. And of course as his logical self tried to talk to me, which I wasn't ready to talk yet. and He pulled me out of the closet and made me go to the couch to talk. But then I couldn't look at him because I was crying. (ACTING LIKE A CHILD I KNOW) So then he talked to me about how we don't have money that we can just spend on anything and how we can't afford to buy just whatever whenever.. and then he went on about how I shouldn't be buying separate food for each of us (but he won't eat vegetables at all) and how he realizes I want to eat better and be healthy but then he gets onto me for the vegetables??? I just.. I'm trying to do my best and I realize that we don't have money.. and we could have gone without spending $26 bucks on a pancake mixer and scale but the rest I feel was justified. and I really wanted the pancake mixer because he eats the pancakes but I have to make them and I never get it right when its in a bowl and it was just $2.

And earlier he was asking why I didn't get sweets, cookies, ice cream, and chips but those are things only he would be eating.. just like the soda and most if not all of the cinnamon rolls, oh and milk and mayo.

I just feel so dumb.. for the pancake thing, the door off the hinges, crying..

But God when I cry he is always there for me.. To wipe my eyes, to clean me up, and cheer me up. To tell me I'm perfect and he'll always love me and that everything is okay. He truly is great.. and makes me feel so loved when he takes the time to wipe my runny mascara eyes with his white shirt. To pull me in the bathroom (even when I don't want to go) to get a washcloth to wash my face and cool down my head and chest. And when nothing else works he will wrestle with me and literally lick the tears from my face and eyes to make me laugh. Or when my night shirt wasn't dry (I have to sleep in a very loose shirt) and he took one of his own and stretched it out to make it perfect for me to sleep in with a big big neck and arm wholes so that it was extremely lose.. He is really and truly the man for me. I just need to learn to talk, to look people in the eyes, to not be how I was raised (Silent, Shy, Submissive.)

He always knows how to make me feel amazing, he tell me when we're talking about things I always come up with things that amaze him or make him think.. because he would have never come up with the same thought. Like the other day when for some reason we were discussing how cool/weird it would be if someone invented a little robot that you insert in your tear duct, so that when you cry it's lemon-lime soda. And how people would always be making themselves cry it that were true and I said something stupid about "think of all those kids who'd have Hawaiian punch stained faces from their tears" and he just thought it was amazing that I would think something like that. Because he didn't know where the thought would have come from.

well I guess we're off to buy him some cookies

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASHROBOT 3/9/2012 7:35PM

    First off thank you both for replying:

Busygranny4- I agree communication is vital to a relationship and it is perhaps one of my biggest issues as I have a hard time speaking out loud about anything.. and I know more than anything he just wants me to communicate with him and tell him my thoughts and opinions.

Heat7918-as I said above to Busygranny4 I think mainly he just wants me to get better at communicating with him and i think he may think that if we don't talk about things right off then i will never talk about them period. I think that is what he fears. I know it's not childish to cry, I just hate breaking down in front of anyone especially him because he is always so sweet and caring, I don't like when I make him worry. I do agree that taking the door off the hinges is childish but i also think my locking the door and not opening it for him was childish as well. And it's not that he doesn't want me to eat vegetables because he doesn't like them its that we really don't have a lot of money right now and i think part of it is he is just used to us buying the same things every time we go to the store. He doesn't like vegetables but he does support me in my efforts to eat healthier and he told me if I really want this then he is going to hold me to it. I think mostly it may have been me not consulting him about it first. Also getting upset mixer doesn't seem very rational to me either. and when I was upset with him I had the same thought about the gift card being from my dad and it was money we wouldn't have had to begin with. But we see all things as "ours." Thank you so much for commenting and I know I deserve respect and he always respect me, I guess there are going to be a few hiccups in every relationship. But we always get through them an are made stronger because of them.

Of course I'm not to happy about our 3 am run to wal-mart to spend $53 dollars on junk food- chips, cookies, applesauce, stuff to make puppy chow, and stuff to make smores. Of course some of those things were for me but I can see other places that $53 dollars gone. Such as gas. Or curtains. or a million other things that aren't being shoved down our throats.

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BUSYGRANNY5 3/9/2012 7:07AM

    I tend to agree with the previous post! It sounds like your boyfriend may need to understand and accept your needs and desires, just as you try to consider his. Communication is vital in all relationships...
I wish you continued success in ALL areas of your life!

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HEAT7918 3/9/2012 6:08AM

    I wouldn't say you're acting like a child if you "run & hide" - some people just need some time before they can talk about things. As long as you let him know when you ARE ready to talk, he should respect that you need that time. (My husband hates to talk about stuff, but he'd ignore it forever - that's NOT ok.) And it's not childish to cry. But taking doors off hinges feels a little immature. And not wanting you to buy vegetables b/c he won't eat them? Also not so mature. And getting mad at you for buying a $2 mixer (for him) with a gift card from YOUR dad... not rational to me.

Sorry, I'm afraid I'm coming across judgmental and I don't know the entire situation so it's not my place. But you are a wonderful, thoughtful person who deserves respect - I just want to make sure you know that!

Comment edited on: 3/9/2012 6:09:13 AM

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Where have I been? What have I done?

Thursday, March 08, 2012

So I know I already posted today but I thought a little update was in order after my last blog entry for today (Life in Sinking Sand.)

I stayed at my friends until September when I was accepted to Job Corps. I had applied for Americorps and that had almost worked out but due to a minor glitch and shortage of time.. Job Corps it was. So I stayed there only as long as I had to to complete my course. (Though I sat in classes for almost two months with nothing to do because I had finished all my work but had to wait on taking the tests.) I completed January 31 though I stayed til the 3rd of February. I got my CNA: Certified Nurse Assistant, MAT: Medication Administration Technician, and my BLS: Basic Life Support.

Now heres the last thing I expected would happen during this time. I met a man and fell in love. We are currently living together, building our lives together... We we're expecting a baby but two weeks ago we lost it. Which has been very hard on us both. But Austin and I know we can get through anything together. He's the man of my dreams and would never do me wrong.. he's more than I could have ever hoped for an tells me I'm beautiful everyday (if not more.)

Now to find me a job and quick!


A Fresh Start

Wednesday, March 07, 2012

So far today I have done great and with only one meal left I know that I will finish the day happy with myself for the efforts I have made. I've only eaten 899 calories so far today and had four meals. That's about 300-500 calories left to consume today! Pita pizza here I come! Only 260 calories for the yummy yummy pizza. Woot! Can't wait for my man to get home..

Also I weighed myself today (had to go to my moms for a scale) 230.8 lbs More than I thought. I think I've been eating my feelings since I lost the baby.. I was 228? 226? a little over two weeks ago. ICK! But all in due time and I don't have the urge to weigh myself a millions times a day since I don't own a scale here in my new apartment.


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