ASHAIXIM   23,606
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ASHAIXIM's Recent Blog Entries

being sensative

Sunday, July 01, 2012

Okay, I'm not married, I have no "significant other", pretty much the closest family members I have are my sister and her kids and husband. So she has stuff she wants to get rid of and THIS is stuff I actually want (sometimes she treats me like a goodwill drop off but this is actually stuff I DO want) so she wants me to go to her house to get it. I suggested 3:00 even though she knows it's almost 90 out and I do not have air (ie: she COULD have suggested dropping it off but didn't) and she says wait until 4:30 cause her husband just left with the older kid and she's got the two little ones and can't do anything with them in the house. So.... you can tend them while we talk over a cup of tea? Sometimes I feel like I mean absolutely nothing to her. I'm the first person she calls when she needs something (except now she can't cause of my neck surgery) but I can't come 1 1/2 "early" because I'll be hanging around the house? She asks me the night before if I'm coming to the play she never told me about... I find out AT the play my niece broke her arm. I would blame this on the stress of the breast cancer but she has ALWAYS been like this.

One of my friends says I take things too personally... what do you think? Is she just a self absorbed person who is always going to marginalize me because that's who she is or does she not "really" like me and only spends time with me because she "has" to or I'm a convenience?'



You guys have Really helped me out here. I think just getting the grrrn out helped my evening because we ended up having a great night together and she and I did end up spending a lot of time together with just us (and occasionally the 3 you but she played by herself) and we did some good talking. I think I was feeling really sorry for myself. And also I realized just after dinner I NEVER TOOK MY MEDS!! One of them is Gapabentin (Neuroton?) which I guess is actually a mood alterator althogh I use it for fibromyalgia and one is valium. Wow. I can't believe I forgot. It's so much easier at work and I do get really depressed and weepy if I don't take them.

Thank you so much everyone!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CANDOK1260 7/6/2012 4:19AM

    yes not taking your meds can really make a different in your mood

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CAROLIAN 7/2/2012 3:11PM

    emoticon All families get caught up in their own bubble they can become insensitive to those close to them. Glad you had a good time anyway emoticon Have a good week xxxx

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THEFLORIDAFAIRY 7/2/2012 1:33PM

    I agree with STARTINGALLOVER. Hang in there and try not to be overly sensitive. Talk to her at a good time when you two have total focus on each other with no distractions. Take care. Ruthie emoticon

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CATHYGETSFIT 7/1/2012 8:35PM

    No, I don't think you are being overly sensitive. Not to dismiss what your sister is doing but I think some people just get so absorbed in their own lives and what is going on in front of them that they don't realize how self-centered they are being. You need to start being more assertive though. You should have said that you are still recovering from your surgery and told her that it would be best if she came over instead or something along those lines. I know because I've been where you are with family members and friends before. You can be assertive without seeming or acting like you are being mean. It sounds like she is use to you doing whatever she wants you to do and will keep acting like this until you start being more assertive. That's just my two cents though.

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TALENKARR1 7/1/2012 8:24PM

    yes and no. It sounds like you a baby of the family to. When your a baby people tell you never ask. .....Unless you point out to them what there doing the never relize I used to get mad at my sister when she did this. Or when she'd forget me. But I sat down and talked to her about it and how it made me feel. She never even relized she was doing it. Now she asks. What are you doing today,wed etc. And makes sure I'm not busy then asks for help. just don't go in all confrentational and you and she should fix this up just fine

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WOUBBIE 7/1/2012 3:06PM

    Yeah, I would put it down to obliviousness as well. Here's a possible scenario. If you came early she would be dividing her attention between you and the younger kids, so maybe she thought it would be more enjoyable if you came later?

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LADYLARAN 7/1/2012 2:44PM

    Hun, you're not being over sensitive at all. My brother does this to me a lot. I get a lot of "oh did you know?" from other family members and not the horse's mouth so to speak. My nephew qualified for GT classes by first grade, and I was told by my mom and not my brother. He's a lot like your sister and while I know his plate is full, an email or phone call wouldn't take more than a minute to keep me updated.

Hang in there...we can't change family but we can change what upsets us. Accept she's like this, accept the irritation, but don't let it hurt you. Chose your battles wisely.

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STARTINGALLOVER 7/1/2012 2:36PM

    Sometimes I think people have so much going on in their lives they dont realize they seem selfish. Most likely because you are her sister, she knows you know her... inside and out and love her anyway. She can be forgetful, sometimes thoughtless etc.. but unless you are clear with her - she wont see it. She sounds like she has a full plate right now..and if she has always been like this - she is totally unaware now. At some point in the future you may want to have a talk over tea that you totally get her busy life.. but she has to see your life and needs too. I am a sister.. I get it!

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WONDERFUL DAY YESTERDAY

Sunday, July 01, 2012

I had a wondeful day yesterday with a couple of fellow sparkers. We met up in Birth Run, MI and went to Frankenmuth. I'm "paying" for it now but it was absolutely wonderful! I was so happy to spend time with you :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DRUIDPRINCESS 7/1/2012 6:25PM

    What a lovely blog! I am so glad you had such a wonderful time. It must be amazing to be able to meet up with Spark People in person. In our city I think there are only five of us... I'll have to try and organise a meet-up!

Have a wonderful week!
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WOUBBIE 7/1/2012 1:44PM

    emoticon

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YES YES YES!!!

Sunday, June 17, 2012

For those of you know kind of know me at all, you probably know I've had a rough couple years. I got depressed end of 10/11 and got on meds that didn't agree with me, almost got fired (and I am an EXCELLENT employee and secretary!) and then while dealing with the depression and coming off the meds dealt with lower and then upper back pain. About 2 months ago now my sister was diagnosed with stage four breast cancer (although her doc said due to her health, age, where it's at, etc. he's considering it stage 2 (not in the charts but in his head) and gave her an 85% of living through it), then I got a lump during a mamm. Had to go back for another one and then an untrasound where they couldn't find it!! So then the Friday before I'm scheduled for a ACDF (neck surgery) they do a biopsy. So I go in to get my neck operated on Wednesday not even knowing if I have cancer. Well, I'm compltely out of it all day until about 10:30 that night which was weird I thought i'd have come out of it sooner but I vaguely remember the doctor telling my sister and one of my BFFS that the surgery went "surprisingly even better than expected". I called my doc the next day and the biopsy was just fatty tissue!!! (Only time in your life you'll be thrilled to have fatty tissue lol!) and when my DBinL was driving me home on Thursday evening (to his house) he told me about Char's doc "downgrading" her cancer (I didn't know until then, I still thought she had a 15% chance). So that's pretty much my BEST DAY EVER blog redone... but anyways through this whole thing I have been beyond depressed and anxious and overwhelmed and basically holding myself together with McDonald Chocolate Chip Cookies and Blizzards, right? I weighed in at the hospital at 283 I think it was. I was so unhappy. Well, I haven't been "dieting" until yesterday but I've been eating a LOT better since I got out of the hospital... and I just weighed myself... and I'm at 270.4!!!! The exact amount I was before this all happened :) I am SOOOOO happy and relieved. I can't even tell you how relieved I am. I was so disappointed in myself and almost seriously decided at one point to just give up but I didn't and here we are :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AHMARROSE 7/1/2012 8:05AM

  Congratulations for losing weight emoticon

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TBOGENER 6/24/2012 2:36PM

    I am so happy I took today to thank people who have commented on my blogs and came across yours. The Lord moves in Mysterious ways. I am so glad to hear aabout you weight and fat tissue. lol And your sister's news sounds good too. Thank you again for coming by and reading my blog about truth. YOur friend, teresa P.S. Never give up, that's when bad things happen. You must always have hope and preservernce

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 6/22/2012 10:52PM

    Great news!!! So glad you didn't give up. You need to continue to take the best care of you that you possibly can...no matter what!!
Blessings and hugs,
Helen

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CATHYGETSFIT 6/21/2012 1:56PM

    I know I'm late in reading this but am so glad to hear all of the great news!! We are all so glad you didn't give up!! emoticon emoticon

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SHOYER 6/20/2012 2:24PM

    Once in a while, the world belongs to us. emoticon

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BZYBEE 6/20/2012 9:23AM

    So glad to hear the good news, not only about your, but your sister.

Let yourself heal and you will be right back on top of things. You realize that eating smaller more frequent meals helps weight loss...??? Keep up the good work and you will hit your goal, now send of that good stuff my way..I still need to drop...

You are such a great friend and I am so glad to hear all the news...hugs for now!!!!

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NOCALORIES 6/20/2012 8:51AM

    Keep moving forward. Congratulations for losing weight and sharing this blog with us.

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DBELLE39 6/19/2012 7:25PM

    Good news!

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NICKI109 6/19/2012 7:47AM

    Woo hoo, way to keep moving forward even when dealt a horrible hand. You are doing awesome at turning all that negative around. Hugs, and my thoughts and prayers are still out there with you guys!

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THE_COUNTESS 6/18/2012 11:16AM

    That's emoticon news! So glad things are working themselves out for you... emoticon

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BARBIE176 6/17/2012 9:58PM

    That is emoticon ! So happy for you. emoticon emoticon emoticon Keep up the great work. Never give up! emoticon emoticon

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WOUBBIE 6/17/2012 6:18PM

    Never ever give up! Glad that things have worked out so positively!

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JOURNEY-2-JOY 6/17/2012 5:45PM

    emoticonSo awesome that you've lost the weight! Glad you didn't give up! emoticon

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woohoo!

Sunday, June 10, 2012

i showered today and washed my hair and went grocery shopping where a very nice young man helped me and now im home and i can get on and off the couch all by myself :)

for those of you who havent spent the pat 5 months all up in my life i had two discs removed c56 n 67 n caged and plated wed.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IZZYBEBOP 6/16/2012 3:10PM

    Glad things are going well for you!

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RFJSJ50 6/11/2012 12:29PM

    Definitely a large step forward and shows how well you are doing in recovering from surgery and in taking care of yourself!
Sheila

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CANDOK1260 6/11/2012 12:12PM

    emoticon hasppy it going better for you

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DBELLE39 6/10/2012 9:24PM

    You are making great recovery, just take it slow as you continue recooperating.

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ANGGEL40 6/10/2012 9:09PM

    emoticon

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BARBIE176 6/10/2012 8:46PM

    emoticon news Lou. Only someone who has been in your shoes truly understands how emoticon that feeling is! Keep up the good work and you'll be back to 100%. emoticon emoticon

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CATHYGETSFIT 6/10/2012 7:52PM

    Glad to hear you are recovering so quickly and so well! I hope you continue to recover so quickly!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TALENKARR1 6/10/2012 7:44PM

    I am glad you are recovering. i have been worried about you. my mom had back surgery and hasn't been well since. here is to hoping that you have a great day every day after.

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JOURNEY-2-JOY 6/10/2012 7:40PM

    Glad you are having a great day! emoticon

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KCWIND 6/10/2012 7:13PM

  Woot! Woot! So glad you are doing so well. Stay healthy!

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CHRISTY2121 6/10/2012 6:55PM

    great accomplishment! emoticon

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Best Day Ever

Thursday, June 07, 2012

Am I feeling great? No I actually feel pretty lousy. I just had spinal surgery. But the surgery went "a lot better than we were even thinking it would" and I got to come home today after spending only one night at hosp.

AND I found out the biopsy they did of my right breast is just fatty tissue!! :D

AND I found out that although my sister has stage 4 breast cancer her doctor says she "really kindof only sort of for real" has stage 2!! because she is so healthy and etc. that although technically they have to say stage 4 it doesn't take into consideration the health, size, age, etc. of the patient.

What a relief!!!!

BEST DAY EVER!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHOYER 6/10/2012 6:46PM

    How wonderful! No, I hadn't seen this blog, but did just see your note on the team page. Do what you can and type what you can :) It is amazing how much our brain "sees" when letters aren't there or are in the wrong order.


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RUBYCLAIRE 6/10/2012 2:00PM

    emoticon

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SILVERANGEL6 6/10/2012 2:13AM

    Hi, I seem to have missed something here, you must have changed your Spark Name....I was MIA for about t a month there, early April to mid-May, had so many emails, well, enough of that. Glad I finally found you....I can't believe you're home after only one night in hosp. Great news for you and your sister....you must have been not a little worried.
I will add you into my prayers for healing when I next meditate,

Sending Love & Light, as always

Sylvia xxx

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ANGELWENDYMAMA 6/9/2012 10:32PM

    WOOHOOO on the biopsy results for you and WOOHOOOO that your sister is really only kind at STage 2, which gives a lot more hope!!! Strong wishes for you and your sister!

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BARBIE176 6/8/2012 11:30PM

    Wow what wonderful news you had to share! emoticon emoticon emoticon Praise God that your biopsy turned out okay and what wonderful news about your sister. I continue to hold you both in prayer. emoticon emoticon

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NICKI109 6/8/2012 9:54AM

    So happy to hear all of your good news today. Woo Hoo!! Hope your recooperation goes well, and better than expected as well. HUGS

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CANDOK1260 6/8/2012 9:51AM

    GREAT I WILL PRAYS FOR YOU GUYS BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE EVERYTHING DOING BETTER. emoticon

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THE_COUNTESS 6/8/2012 9:31AM

    Hooray! Awesome news! *does the happy dance*

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RFJSJ50 6/7/2012 10:33PM

    What wonderful news! I never thought I'd be congratulating someone for a "fatty tissue" diagnosis (I have fatty tissue in abundance all over my body) but CONGRATULATIONS my good friend! The news about your sister is fantastic and sounds so positive. I bet you're both feeling great tonight!
Take your time healing and get plenty of rest and relaxation!
Sheila

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RFJSJ50 6/7/2012 10:31PM

    What wonderful news! I never thought I'd be congratulating someone for a "fatty tissue" diagnosis (I have fatty tissue in abundance all over my body) but CONGRATULATIONS my good friend! The news about your sister is fantastic and sounds so positive. I bet you're both feeling great tonight!
Take your time healing and get plenty of rest and relaxation!
Sheila

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CATHYGETSFIT 6/7/2012 6:13PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticonI'm so glad to hear the good news!! I've been thinking about you and your sister a lot!! I'm glad to hear that the surgery went well. I'm amazed that you were able to go home after just one night in the hospital for such a serious surgery! I'm happy to hear that the biopsy came back negative for cancer and that your sister is actually considered to be in stage 2! I'm sure you are breathing a bit of a sigh of relief! I will continue to keep both of you in my thoughts, hoping for a speedy recovery for you and that the treatments they are doing on your sister will put the cancer into remission!!

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Comment edited on: 6/7/2012 6:13:55 PM

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IZZYBEBOP 6/7/2012 5:53PM

    I'm so glad the surgery went well. That's amazing you got to come home so early! So grateful the biopsy came back good as well, and that your sister has better news on her cancer. I pray and hope that whatever treatment she has to take goes well.


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HAIRDOC1 6/7/2012 5:33PM

    emoticon Great news!

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WOUBBIE 6/7/2012 5:32PM

    (((hugs)))

Phew!

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BARBARASDIET 6/7/2012 5:31PM

    Great!

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ARNETTELEE 6/7/2012 5:27PM

  Wow....great news! Best day for you and sis!

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