Friday, April 20, 2012
Perfect Spring Day
My idea of a Perfect Spring Day is:
About 65 degrees (F), Not too sunny, like sunny but with big fluffy clouds
I would start my day by sleeping in until about 10 (after having gone to bed by 11 or 12 at the latest and having slept snuggled with my kittens) and then after feeding the cats and getting ready I would meet up with my friends and family for breakfast and have a nice cheese & veg omelet with a side of sausage and bacon, coffee, and vanilla/chocolate mixed sugar free pudding (hey, this is fantasy, okay?) with strawberries in it
Then we would all head out to a farm where we would rent horses and take a 2 hour horseback ride
After that we would go to the lake and have a nice swim and walk on the beach and have a lunch cookout with lots of meat including ribs and brats
After that we would go home and play cards and/or board games until it’s time to have dinner - grilled steak, shrimp, sautéed mushrooms and onions with a side of shish kabab'd grilled veggie skewers and a veggie platter with sour cream and onion soup dip, followed by v&c SF ice cream for dessert with some strawberries on it
Then we would have a Harry Potter or Twilight marathon until we were all too tired to watch any more and then go to bed.
Monday, April 16, 2012
Today, I promise I will not quit.
I pledge that no matter, how many ups and downs I pass through, I will continue on my journey.
I pledge to make a NEW START today, and forgive myself for my past, and to stop being so critical of myself.
I pledge to love myself, even when I fail. Especially when I fail.
I pledge to respect myself.
I pledge to look in the mirror and tell myself I love myself and I am worth it.
I pledge to take control of my reactions and my actions.
I pledge to do the very best that day that I can that day and to forgive myself if I do not measure up to someone else's idea of what my best should be.
I pledge to do the best thing for me because of my challenges, not in spite of them, because my challenges are part of what the Devine, in Her infinate Wisdom, created me to be.
I pledge to treat myself as I would my Best Friend, because that is who I am.
I pledge to stay in the race.
I pledge to continue to be a WINNER!
Signed: Heather Louise Bell 04/16/12
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Wow. It amazes me that every single person started their "what I'm proud of" blog with "wow this was really hard!!" ... and of course I feel the same way!! How sad is it that we will extol the virtues of complete strangers we know only through cyber space and reading posts and blogs, but think we ourselves aren't worth much!! Could that be part of why we are on this seemingly constant struggle to lose weight?
Okay, things I am proud of:
1) I am proud that although I have gained back and yoyo'd with my diet I am still, and have always been since I lost it, 35 lbs lighter than my highest weight and that was like 18 years ago.
2) I am proud that I have educated people who have gone on to touch others. One particularly has always touched me: there was a young girl I used to work with and I tought her HIV education (this was back in the early 90s when people still weren't sure if you could "catch it" from casual contact). One of her managers at a 2nd job was having a really bad night and she cornered him and asked what was wrong. He told her his partner of 26 years had just died from AIDS. She reached out to him and told him how sorry she was. He broke down in tears because she was the first person who knew who had TOUCHED him. Everyone else was afraid of being contaminated. Can you imaging? Grieving your loved one after 26 years and no one would touch him much less hug or hold him while he grieved.
3) I am proud of being the type of person who people come to when they have problems.
4) I am proud for learning how to ask for and accept help from others.
5) I am proud of being "good" with kids and dogs.
6) I am proud for not having done "something stupid" last spring/summer when I was critically clinically depressed.
7) I am proud of forgiving my parents for being imperfect.
8) I am proud that my sister knows she can rely on me to be there for her while she's going through treatment for breast cancer.
9) I am proud of embrassing opportunities for doing walks, rides, volunteer events, camping, sports and other things that many excuse themselves from because they are "too fat".
10) Most of all, I am proud for trying and trying and trying and trying no matter what and no matter how many times I may fail. You can knock me down and you can drag me though the dirt, but you can't keep me from getting back up.
Monday, April 02, 2012
Order light machine
Produce serotonin naturally through light therapy
Stop eating sugar to produce serotonin
Stop being depressed
Clean my house
Clean my house
Consult with (Pain Managment guy on 4/13 because I can't see the Neurosurgeon until May 18 about cervical surgery as PT and shots are not working)
Clean my house
Clean my car back out
Mail 2 packages
Order wedding gift
Clean my house
Oh, and I really need to work on cleaning my house. Anyone wanna come help?
I've determined a large part of my issues may be depleted serotonin and I prefer not to take drugs or "supplements" and I can't take SSRI's because I'm bi-polar... so I'm going to try this out (the light) and praypraypray it works!!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
WHOOO HOOOO I'm gonna start eating breakfast EVERY morning!! Hey, I might have breakfast three or four times a day!!
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