Tuesday, August 09, 2011
Found out on Friday night that my husbands grandma has brain cancer. It has devastated him. I don't know what I can do to make him comfortable with it and it is affecting how I feel about myself...I feel like I don't know what to do or say. I always thought that my great grandma would be gone first, but now I don't know. To top all that off, our neighbors feel that it would be the perfect time to threaten a restraining order against us because they can't control their kids. Their kids are always doing something mean to someone or something. We have had to call the police because they tried to have our son drink gasoline, and than we threatened again when their son was pointing a pellet gun at our house. That is the most we have done. Another neighbor called them in again today when the kids where busy shooting a bow and arrow carelessly around. We got blamed for that when we have been minding our own business. I know that exercise would help me cope with the stress, but I feel too drained to do anything...I need the push to keep going and be the strong supportive wife and mom, but I don't know how much more I have. I am nervous about his grandma, scared of the neighbor and tired from being the stay at home mom of three kids, one with special needs and another who is an infant and a three year old. Than I am also a full time student. I don't find the me time everyone is talking about. I am lost and confused and ready to scream.
Friday, August 05, 2011
Wow, its Friday already! Where did that week go? Yesterday I did more than the ten minutes I had hoped for! I love that feeling. I got my butt on the treadclimber that has been collecting dust in my basement. The kids were busy playing and my youngest (3 months) decided she wanted to be held. I figured that if I carry her everywhere else, why not here too. I made sure that I wasn't going to fast and that I had the safety clip on the whole time. She loved it, especially the red lights that kept changing on the screen! It made me feel so good that I was able to get in my exercise even with the kids around.
Today is a busy day...but I want to get in some exercise again. I hope to do some walking again, or even pop in a video if all the circumstances work with me for it. I love the feeling of knowing that I did something like that for me at the end of the day.
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