Mi Vida Loco

Saturday, December 06, 2008

It seems like over the past week or so, I have been working or seeing doctors. I really haven't had time to blog or even log on to the computer, as I have just been too tired. I can blame part of that on the depression, but that is why all the doctor's appointments. My psychiatrist is trying me on Effexor XR, which seems to be helping. The other issue seems to be missing family around the holidays.

My job is going well. Just applied for a job as a nurse in a dual diagnosis unit. substace abuse and another mental health diagnosis, of the hospital. I have been trying to get such a job for more than a year, but I haven't heard anything on this job yet. On Monday, I may try to talk to the manager of the unit to see if she has already hired someone.

I hope all is going well for you all. I appreciate all your support and concern. I am working with a great team of doctors.

The positive stuff that has happened over the last few weeks include getting an estimate on reshingling the house and got a fuse box fixed. I guess I can credit the interpresonal skills of DBT for this, as I used these projects as my homework for a couple different projects.

Best Holiday wishes to you all.

Amanda

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 12/6/2008 10:58AM

If you don't get the job there, can you possibly volunteer there any? I have read that that is the best way to get a job, so they get to know you and how serious you are to work there. My friend wanted to work as a Social Worker and had done it years ago and had a college degree. She volunteered in the Mental Health office and then was hired over 70 people, who applied for an opening. Report Inappropriate Comment

Patience will bring Victory

Saturday, November 22, 2008

I finally lost instead of gained weight here recently. It had to have been from eating healthier, as my physical activity has not been increased that much. My depression has made me want to sleep whenever I am at home. Anyway4 lbs are gone for now.

DBT is still going okay. This week, I set a goal of calling someone to come repair my roof and I accomplished that. Now I have to call the insurance company to see how much of it they are going to cover.

I have decided to keep doing the personal trainer thing about once a week. That seems to be the best we can do to get together. I meet with her tomorrow for a session.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 11/22/2008 9:40PM

Oh, I'm glad you were able to get some of those "items" off your TO DO LIST. Report Inappropriate Comment

Icky Interpersonal

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

The last couple of weeks in DBT, we have been covering interpersonal skills. I didn't understand the assignment for last week, so I need to redo that one before really moving onto the next one. I can kind of do them together and probably will for time's sake. This kind of left me embarressed in front of the class and ashamed personally. This interpersonal stuff is really icky for me, as I try to be very independent and not ask others for help, at times even when I need it.


I have also been greiving the death of an uncle and went to some educational information sessions on things such as domestic violence and violence in the work place that made me quite sad. At least today I am feeling better. Later on, I will meet up with my personal trainer, hopefully that will work out some of this anxiety and sadness.

I know I can do this.
It will just take time.
Patience is key.
I am the door
that it will open
to new opportunities.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 10/28/2008 11:53PM

Patience is the Key is so right. Report Inappropriate Comment

DDOORN 10/28/2008 8:39PM

It takes a special kind of strength to know when you need to ask for a helping hand...good for you to keep moving forward! Don Report Inappropriate Comment

Abilify & Weight Gain

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Ok, so I haven't been following the food suggestions or logging my food, as I was hoping that I could become a little more dependent from the system and do that part on my own. It hasn't worked. I know part of it is probably related to the food cravings that I have, especially sweets, on the Abilify that I started in August. My weight seems to have sky rocket from 202 lbs to 217 in just 2-3 months. Otherwise I had at least been holding steady.

This has not only my psychiatrist concerned, but myself. I don't want to develop diabetes or heart disease because I let a medicine take over the way I am eating. I have got back together with my personal trainer to push the workout thing some more. I also met today with a health educator, who is going to help me with some nutrition and exercise goal setting.

For the next 2 weeks, I am not to have candy in the house and avoid the bakery goodies. I am to walk from the parking lot into work, but can ride the shuttle bus back to the car at the end of my shift. I am to work out once a week with my personal trainer. I am also going to focus on drinking more water.

In 3 weeks my doc is going to check my blood glucose level and lipids to see how things are going. He is also talking about cutting back the dose and seeing how I am doing. I am really hoping that that will help cut down the sweet cravings.

Other things I will be working on include going to my DBT classes, which really seem to be helping. I am not too thrilled about doing interpersonal communication, but I know it will help me be more assertive. My psychiatrist also suggested that I read a book "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat-zinn to work on my mindfulness & meditation skills more.

I think I will be a busy girl. On top of that, I will be running a both at the state nursing convention this weekend and going back to work after a vacation the following week.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 10/22/2008 6:12PM

My brother is 56 and he's on that medicine. His weight has gone up to 262, and he told me the other day on the phone that he's on ATKINS and has lost 14#. He's planning to get back to 200#. He said he has been drinking BEER, which of course is a SUGAR. He has never been into eating candy, etc, but he said the BEER has packed on the pounds. I don't know if it is the cravings or if it is that a person on that medicine FEELS better and then EATS more? He wasn't going out and now that he's on the medicine he goes out to the tavern five or six nights a week. (He's not a drunk, but he lives in a small town, where the tavern is the "men's meeting" place and everyone goes to socialize.) Before he was on that medicine he was taking a lot of other ones, but saying at home from the depression and didn't want to go out at all. Now, he feels so much better, but he's put on that weight. He says the beer TASTES so much better. I'm not being critical at all, so please don't take me wrong. I just wonder if the medicine directly causes any weight gain, or if a person just FEELS so much better like he does and they then adds on the weight. Oh, he said he was upset because on Atkins he can't drink any beer, BUT he is like most men and on ATKINS he can drop about 60 in 2 months. Comment edited on: 10/22/2008 6:12:02 PM Report Inappropriate Comment

EQUUS256 10/22/2008 5:51PM

Take care........... Blessings... ................. Report Inappropriate Comment

Emotions Run Amok

Sunday, October 12, 2008

These last couple weeks have been a wee bit emotional.

First I find out that at work there will be a reorganization of management, which not only included my manager leaving but also the educator for my work area.

A few days later I read a letter from my sister wanting her old sister back, meaning one that isn't depressed, yet I see it as I can never go back to being my old self, as I have changed so much by what I have seen in my job and life in the city. I am no innocent farm girl.

Later on at work, I get a client who insists on breaking the rules. I lay down the law, but it isn't enfoced just a couple shifts later because no one wants to deal with the abusive language of this individual. He wore me out physically and emotionally the night I had him. The next night I worked but refused to work with him. The third night I just called in sick as I was too tired and stressed to be working anywhere near the man. I was also highly frustrated with my colleagues that they did not enforce the rules that our manager expects us to enforce.

Anyway, all of this got me in an emotional tizzy. The anxiety and depression were quite bad. At least they are better now, as I go back to work tomorrow night. Monday, I will see my psychologist to help sort some of this out.

Gotta Keep on Trying! that is all there is to it. I guess you could say the victory of this all is I did get anxious enough to go to the gym and burn off some energy one day on the treadmill for 20 minutes.

  

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JIBBIE49 10/12/2008 1:11AM

I'm sure that "customer" was "pushing buttons" from other past experiences in your life and that made it so much more stressful. I've found reading Roger Gould, M.D.'s book ""Shrink Yourself" to be so helpful. Today my son bought a sofa to put in his bedroom and he couldn't get it down the hallway and into his room, because it was TOO big. Well, I got so upset, but then realized that it wasn't about HIM, it was all the years that his FATHER did so many BLOCKHEAD things, and I was "feeling those feelings" and not just what was happening in the moment. SO, I just went in the other bedroom and closed the door. I had to "release it." Finally he came to me and asked what he needed to do, and I told him he needed to call the store and tell them, and they told him to bring it back and he could exchange it for a Love Seat. He said he'd already seen a nice Blue one there, so he could get it. Report Inappropriate Comment