Saturday, December 06, 2008
It seems like over the past week or so, I have been working or seeing doctors. I really haven't had time to blog or even log on to the computer, as I have just been too tired. I can blame part of that on the depression, but that is why all the doctor's appointments. My psychiatrist is trying me on Effexor XR, which seems to be helping. The other issue seems to be missing family around the holidays.
My job is going well. Just applied for a job as a nurse in a dual diagnosis unit. substace abuse and another mental health diagnosis, of the hospital. I have been trying to get such a job for more than a year, but I haven't heard anything on this job yet. On Monday, I may try to talk to the manager of the unit to see if she has already hired someone.
I hope all is going well for you all. I appreciate all your support and concern. I am working with a great team of doctors.
The positive stuff that has happened over the last few weeks include getting an estimate on reshingling the house and got a fuse box fixed. I guess I can credit the interpresonal skills of DBT for this, as I used these projects as my homework for a couple different projects.
Best Holiday wishes to you all.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
I finally lost instead of gained weight here recently. It had to have been from eating healthier, as my physical activity has not been increased that much. My depression has made me want to sleep whenever I am at home. Anyway4 lbs are gone for now.
DBT is still going okay. This week, I set a goal of calling someone to come repair my roof and I accomplished that. Now I have to call the insurance company to see how much of it they are going to cover.
I have decided to keep doing the personal trainer thing about once a week. That seems to be the best we can do to get together. I meet with her tomorrow for a session.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The last couple of weeks in DBT, we have been covering interpersonal skills. I didn't understand the assignment for last week, so I need to redo that one before really moving onto the next one. I can kind of do them together and probably will for time's sake. This kind of left me embarressed in front of the class and ashamed personally. This interpersonal stuff is really icky for me, as I try to be very independent and not ask others for help, at times even when I need it.
I have also been greiving the death of an uncle and went to some educational information sessions on things such as domestic violence and violence in the work place that made me quite sad. At least today I am feeling better. Later on, I will meet up with my personal trainer, hopefully that will work out some of this anxiety and sadness.
I know I can do this.
It will just take time.
Patience is key.
I am the door
that it will open
to new opportunities.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Ok, so I haven't been following the food suggestions or logging my food, as I was hoping that I could become a little more dependent from the system and do that part on my own. It hasn't worked. I know part of it is probably related to the food cravings that I have, especially sweets, on the Abilify that I started in August. My weight seems to have sky rocket from 202 lbs to 217 in just 2-3 months. Otherwise I had at least been holding steady.
This has not only my psychiatrist concerned, but myself. I don't want to develop diabetes or heart disease because I let a medicine take over the way I am eating. I have got back together with my personal trainer to push the workout thing some more. I also met today with a health educator, who is going to help me with some nutrition and exercise goal setting.
For the next 2 weeks, I am not to have candy in the house and avoid the bakery goodies. I am to walk from the parking lot into work, but can ride the shuttle bus back to the car at the end of my shift. I am to work out once a week with my personal trainer. I am also going to focus on drinking more water.
In 3 weeks my doc is going to check my blood glucose level and lipids to see how things are going. He is also talking about cutting back the dose and seeing how I am doing. I am really hoping that that will help cut down the sweet cravings.
Other things I will be working on include going to my DBT classes, which really seem to be helping. I am not too thrilled about doing interpersonal communication, but I know it will help me be more assertive. My psychiatrist also suggested that I read a book "Full Catastrophe Living" by Jon Kabat-zinn to work on my mindfulness & meditation skills more.
I think I will be a busy girl. On top of that, I will be running a both at the state nursing convention this weekend and going back to work after a vacation the following week.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
These last couple weeks have been a wee bit emotional.
First I find out that at work there will be a reorganization of management, which not only included my manager leaving but also the educator for my work area.
A few days later I read a letter from my sister wanting her old sister back, meaning one that isn't depressed, yet I see it as I can never go back to being my old self, as I have changed so much by what I have seen in my job and life in the city. I am no innocent farm girl.
Later on at work, I get a client who insists on breaking the rules. I lay down the law, but it isn't enfoced just a couple shifts later because no one wants to deal with the abusive language of this individual. He wore me out physically and emotionally the night I had him. The next night I worked but refused to work with him. The third night I just called in sick as I was too tired and stressed to be working anywhere near the man. I was also highly frustrated with my colleagues that they did not enforce the rules that our manager expects us to enforce.
Anyway, all of this got me in an emotional tizzy. The anxiety and depression were quite bad. At least they are better now, as I go back to work tomorrow night. Monday, I will see my psychologist to help sort some of this out.
Gotta Keep on Trying! that is all there is to it. I guess you could say the victory of this all is I did get anxious enough to go to the gym and burn off some energy one day on the treadmill for 20 minutes.
Get An Email Alert Each Time ARMATTHAEI Posts