Sunday, August 15, 2010
Apparently, exercising is a huge motivator for me. After almost a week of not being able to get to a zumba class, all of my other good habits fell to the wayside: no motivation to do any other real exercise, not drinking enough water, lapsing back into eating wheat products and a ton of sugar, and having a couple of drinks. Oh, and then there was the fried calamari that I couldn't stop eating. Yeah, it was a bad week.
And guess where my mood went while I was channel surfing and thinking only about food...
I've been depressed and moody all week.
But today, I dragged myself to a zumba class, even though the Sunday teacher really annoys me, and poof! I'm happy, itching to move more, and motivated. I just bought a new bike seat, so I can actually start riding it, read an article on composting, so I'm going to start that, and began cleaning my kitchen.
Man, a little exercise and everything shifts!
Sunday, August 08, 2010
I am a procrastinator. I always have been. In high school, if I wasn't up until 3 am the night before a paper was due, something was wrong.
I procrastinated in getting my weight under control and working toward the life I wanted. It was just never the "right time." Now that I'm doing it, and feel great, I have no idea what I was waiting for.
I'm trying to bring the power of "now" into my life more. Part of my search for simplicity in my life is doing things as I go so that I never get overwhelmed. I *could* let the dishes pile up and do them later, letting the pile get so daunting that I don't even want to think about it. But it would feel so much better to do them as I go. Finish with a dish, wash it. I never get a pile in the sink. I never have to contend with food that has fossilized to the pan because I didn't wash it right away. It's easier and more efficient. It makes me wonder why I ever wait in the first place.
We are a society of instant gratification and putting off any source of discomfort as long as possible, perhaps increasing the discomfort later. So I refuse to give in to my inner procrastinator. I am embracing now.... starting tomorrow. Just kidding!
Monday, August 02, 2010
To you, I apologize.
I acknowledge that I have knowingly hurt you.
I have ignored you, neglected you, given you hardly a thought.
I have never given you a kind word; only harsh, abusive language thrown at you day in and day out.
I have denied you the freedom and bliss of movement, locking your limbs in tight, forcing you to sit unmoving before the television. I have kept you locked in stasis.
I have hidden you away, called you ugly, told you how much I hated you.
I have overfed you to keep you quiet and docile.
I have undernourished you, feeding you poisons and denying you true sustenance.
I have ignored your cries, your pleas for help.
I have shut out your cries of pain.
To you, my body, I apologize.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
My boss was wearing a new dress today. She looked gorgeous in it and I told her so. She then told me about another dress that she had just bought for herself that she decided she didn't like, she offered it to me. (It's definitely my style.)
Now my boss is probably a size 6. And I have just recently (i.e. within the past 3 months) been *able* to shop in a non-plus-sized store. But for some reason, as she handed me the bag with the dress in it, she was convinced that I would be able to squeeze my belly into that little dress. I begrudgingly took the bag after much argument back and forth ("It's never going to fit." "I bet it will" "It really won't." "Yes, it will"). And drove home.
At a red light, I peeked at the label on the dress. Medium. This is never going to fit.
At home, I pull it out of the bag. It's knit, so it has some stretch, but still... medium?
I put it on, expecting to feel the immediate pull as I put it over my head. But it surprisingly goes on me. Whatever. It's probably pulled tightly across my gut, showing all of my rolls..... Nope. It actually.... it actually looks ok on me. And I might only need to lose another 5-10 pounds to make it look great... What's going on here?
I'm still in a daze about this. Um, well... I guess thanks, SP!
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
I'm a little peeved and need to vent. I went to a weight loss coach today because the consultation comes free with my gym membership. I told her that I had been tracking my food intake and fitness on spark people, and said that the site suggested a daily calorie intake for me of between 1800 and 2100. This is because I do a lot of activity. I exercise for at least an hour (and often 2.5 or 3) 6 days a week.
When I told the coach this, she said, "You're really eating too many calories. You should probably be eating 1300-1400." I knit my brow and said, "I thought that would be my recommendation if I were sedentary." She looked at the list of activities I gave her, and said, "Well, you are kind of sedentary; this really isn't all that much." WHAT??!!
Zumba 2-3 x week
Yoga 2 x week
Martial Arts 1-3 x week
Walk 5-10 miles/week (3 of which are typically hiking hills)
Bellydancing 2-3 x week
If that's sedentary, then what was I before, when I was couch surfing!?!?!
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