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Mothering

Saturday, May 07, 2011

What is a mother? Webster's New World Dictionary (paperback) copyright 2003, on page 422 says that a mother is "noun 1. a female parent 2. the origin or source of something 3. a woman who is the head (mother superior)of a religious establishment - adjective 1. of or like a mother of 2. to care for as a mother does." That definition just seemed to leave out all of the wonderful emotions and associations that we have with the word mother.

I scanned further down the same page to see if I could find a listing for mothering or something close. I don't even know if mothering is a word - I guess not since it wasn't listed. I did find "motherly" which means "adjective - of or like a mother; protective, nurturing, etc." Since nurture comes from nourish, I looked up the word nourish. According to Webster, nourish means "1- to provide with substances necessary to life and growth 2- to foster; promote"

This gave me something to think about. Now I could come up with my own definition of mother or "mothering". Mothering is the act of promoting the growth process by providing nourishment that is vital to another person (or one's self) physically, emotionally, mentally and protecting same said individual from harm.

The reason I didn't just call it being a mother but rather mothering, is because mothering is something you can also do to yourself. I started thinking about the roll of mothering in life particularly here at Spark People. If you want to make changes, you have to promote your own growth process. You have to provide nourishment that is vital to yourself physically, emotionally and mentally. You can do that with healthy food, support groups, Spark teams, Spark buddies and by doing things that spark your imagination. You also have to learn how to protect yourself from harm and from all of life's pitfalls and roadblocks. You have to figure out how to get back up when you fall down. You have to have a plan with goals, dates and rewards. It has to start with having yourself in your own corner being positive about what you're trying to accomplish. Love yourself as you are right now. You are worth mothering!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMANDAJCD 5/9/2011 1:03PM

    Very nicely said :)

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DONNABRIGHT 5/9/2011 8:51AM

    Wonderful blog - sometimes we do have to be reminded that we are worth the effort. I hope you had a superb mothers day - I did!

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SLENDERELLA61 5/7/2011 2:56PM

    Beautiful and profound blog!! Thanks, Cyndi. I voted for it. Mothering is a great word and a great concept. Mothering yourself is such a great strategy to succeed in --- well, anything, including life!! -Marsha

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L*I*T*A* 5/7/2011 2:48PM

    love your definition....awesome
thanks for sharing....
blessings and hugs.....lita

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The Dragonfly Lesson

Saturday, April 23, 2011

On Thursday when I was driving home from water exercise, I stopped at a traffic light and a dragonfly perched on my antenna. I watched the beautiful creature while I was waiting for the light to turn, noticing how the sun reflected off it's iridescent wings. The dragonfly seemed to be taken with the ribbing on the antenna and it's little, delicate legs strummed up and down like it was playing an instrument. I was enthralled with it's movements. Then the light turned green and the cars moved forward. Now the speed limit in that area is 45mph and I wondered what would happen to the dragonfly as I approached 45. Amazing as it was, it still clung to the antenna. Together we traveled for about 8 miles this way and I thought that surely the force of the breeze must have killed the lovely creature. Then, I would see the legs move to get a better grip and I knew that it was still hanging on. I approached a big intersection and turned onto a road where the speed limit increased and I couldn't help but wonder. Would it....? The speed increased to 55mph and I glanced over. Yup! It was still there! Unbelievable! Then the speed increased to 65mph and suddenly it was gone. Poof! Just like that! I can't believe I actually felt a fleeting sense of loss for this little insect. But, then I realized it really wasn't just about the dragonfly at all.

How many times have we found ourselves wanting to do something for ourselves and had outside interference? How many times have we had to just grab on tight and just hang on for dear life? Even when the ride was going too fast, we can find a way to still hang on to that antenna. If the ride gets too bumpy and we slide off, what do we do? Well, I would imagine that my dragonfly found another antenna on a slower moving car or a flower to hang on to and we can probably do the same.
The fact is that there will always be things that threaten to derail us from our quest to reach our goals. We have two choices. We can quit and never achieve our goals (not an option!) or we can hang on tight and ride it out. Riding it out may involve some bumps and bruises but we'll achieve our goals and what a ride it will be!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMANDAJCD 4/27/2011 11:29AM

    What awesome imagery!

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TBRANCH2 4/26/2011 11:23PM

    Geez...that was deep!!! But, extremely true!! God uses nature to teach us things if we would only pay attention to the "dragonflies" in our lives!
Hugs,
Theresa

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L*I*T*A* 4/24/2011 10:57AM

    so true...........
Happy Easter to you and yours...
blessings and hugs.........lita

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SLENDERELLA61 4/23/2011 4:47PM

    Great observations - both about the beautiful dragonfly and about how its struggle relates to us. Thanks for your wisdom. -Marsha

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DONNABRIGHT 4/23/2011 1:45PM

    Wow - that was an awesome analogy

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A Day Off From Water Exercise

Friday, April 22, 2011

Hard as it was, I took the day off from going to the gym to water exercise today. When I got up this morning, my head and neck were too sore to even contemplate a water workout. Instead, I power walked to the cluster mailbox to check for the mail. I walked as fast as I could. Our little male dog got upset and ran after me. He was just too cute for words. Then I power walked back. The dog just broke out into a run and waited for me at the front door. Later I did some chores around the house but put some limitations on myself due to pain issues. I've made listening to my pain cues one of my special Spark goals. I was practicing this today. It really helped with managing my pain and with avoiding my tendency to become obsessed with exercising. I thought I'd be crawling walls but today turned out to be a great day!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLENDERELLA61 4/23/2011 12:59PM

    Glad your day was good. I 100% support listening to your own body. You know it best. Your body will tell you when to go and when to rest and I know you have the ability to listen and interpret.

Sorry you are having all these pain issues. Hope they diminish and you find yourself improving. I guess we all have some issues, but you sure have more than your share! Take care.

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DONNABRIGHT 4/23/2011 9:14AM

    Good job. We do become obsessive, don't we?????? Happy Easter!
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L*I*T*A* 4/23/2011 8:51AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JANETRIS 4/22/2011 9:46PM

    Great job managing your own pain. I sometimes forget to listen to my body. I think we make the most progress in the "down" time that we allow ourselves to take.....Have a great Easter weekend! emoticon emoticon

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And Then The Lights Went Out

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

This morning I faithfully went to water exercise. I had on my water belt and my arms were carefully crossed in front of me. My legs were going a mile a minute in an effort to do some interval training, when I heard the first crack of thunder. The temperature was falling and the air was becoming chilly. The heavens seemed to just open up and it poured. I asked if the pool was going to close and was told not yet so I continued to exercise. After about 15 minutes of heavy rain, there was more thunder and a few flashes of lightening. I sought out the head guard and asked him again if he was going to close the pool. He commented that the lightening wasn't close enough but if I wanted to get a head start on the showers, I should get out now. So I got out, got organized and got in the shower. Somewhere between rinsing the shampoo out of my hair and the soap off of my body, the lights went off in the women's locker room.

Now anyone who has ever had tried to bathe a child or a pet has become adept at doing so with their eyes closed after being splashed in the face with shampoo. All you have to do is rinse the soap off. If you know where you put things, you can identify them by shape, you don't even have to see them. However, when I tried to explain this to the other two women who where stuck in their showers they weren't buying it. I guess they yelled and stumbled about until someone came to rescue them. As for me, I conditioned my hair, rinsed it, dried off and stayed put so I wouldn't hurt myself. Someone came in with a flashlight and held it while I got dressed and got my things and led me out. Even though my hair was probably standing on end, I was dry, dressed, safe and calm I might add. I was surprised that I was never scared. It made for an exciting morning. When I got out to the lobby, there was the rest of the water aerobics class standing in their wet suits, with bare feet and towels, freezing in the air conditioning. So maybe going into the locker room early and taking my shower was a good thing after all!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DONNABRIGHT 4/9/2011 7:27AM

    Dark is just dark - it doesn't mean something scary is going to get you or you must move right away. Glad you are such a wish person!

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SLENDERELLA61 4/6/2011 4:26PM

    You are so cool!!! I think you intuitively knew you should go in early. Glad you did. Enjoyed your description. Good blog. You are absolutely right. You can identify things by feel and wash in the dark. Good for you. No fear!!!

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L*I*T*A* 4/5/2011 7:20PM

    what a scary experience that could have become very very serious...
sounds like you handled it well...way to go!!!
blessings and hugs.............lita

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Decisions Made, A Productive Week Followed

Saturday, April 02, 2011

After much discussion about my visit to the Mayo Clinic last week, hubby and I have agreed to stay with the same Mayo primary doctor. We arrived at that decision because I have two appointments scheduled by his office in May 9, with two specialists. These are the two specialists I originally wanted to see right from the very beginning back in February. If I rock the boat at this point in the process, it might bring me temporary emotional satisfaction but it also might interfere with the appointments that are already set up. Since doctors are human and they talk to one another, I may be labelled as a whiner or trouble maker. I don't want anything to interfere with my treatment at this point.

Sunday night I almost ended up in the emergency room with a series of 5-6 electrical jolts going up the back of my head so severe that I sat and cried. I think hubby now understands the relationship between using my arms and the pain up my neck and into my head. He was so scared (as was I) and didn't know what to do. So, I staggered to the bed and rested. I had little baby shocks later that night in my arms and head and all the next day and that was it. I seemed to be functional and the pain subsided.

Once the decision was made after we had the discussion and I made the mental adjustment, I was able to think about creative ways for me to be more productive and active. This was an interesting undertaking since I have to be very careful about how I use both of my arms. I finally figured out that if I wear a floatation belt and hold my arms close to my chest, I can kick my legs in a variety of ways and work just my lower body in deep water. I do this during water aerobics class with the permission of the water aerobics instructor who is aware of my situation. On Friday morning, I was even able to do some interval training and got my heart rate up! I try to limit all workouts to 30-45 minutes in length. If I feel any pain at all, I get out of the water immediately. I also wear a medical ID bracelet with my name and conditions on it. After my workout, I shower, dress, call hubby and tell him I'm coming home, drive home and then lay on the bed and rest. I was able to do this three times this week!

Hubby and I have been walking around the neighborhood, about 25 minutes, on the days when I don't go to water exercise or we go to our local WalMart and walk around there. Today I finally felt well enough to go to Saturday mass. I did have a problem with constantly standing up and sitting down and my arms started to throb. We were wise enough to sit in the last row so that I didn't have to sit forward when people kneel behind us (I can't kneel due to two knee replacements). After a while, I just remained sitting and I felt much better. There is no support for my arms or upper back which is my problem area and when I push myself up to stand again and again, it's a real problem. Next time, I'll just sit for the whole service. I will say that it was wonderful to be back in church. I've missed it!

I will continue to try to come up with creative ways to allow myself to be as active as possible and hubby will watch over me until we can get to our May 9 appointment.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FITCOFFEEMOM357 5/16/2011 10:35PM

    I love how your dh is taking an active role in your health.

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L*I*T*A* 4/3/2011 1:14PM

    what a fantastic inspiration you are to us all....
praying all goes well for your next appointment in May...
blessings and hugs..............lita

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HEALTHY4ME 4/3/2011 7:05AM

    I am so glad that you have been able to find some fixes, Boy that had to be scary, I haven't heard of that before and sure would knock me for a loop. Take care and so glad you have more upcoming apts and someone has to believe and understand this. Hubby will be able to say I Saw this and know what she looked like ect.
HUGS and good luck with these 2 drs.


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TBRANCH2 4/2/2011 11:02PM

    We are all so very proud of you and your progress especially in this time of pain and unsettling. It is always difficult to deal with physical limitations but, when the doctors don't understand, it makes things all that much worse!!!

It was nice to see you at the team walk and you are looking very well! The weight that you have lost is really, really showing!! Looking Good!! Keep up the great job and the challenge of being creative in your exercising techniques!!!

Hugs, Me

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DONNABRIGHT 4/2/2011 10:54PM

    Wow - amazing how much activity you are doing with that level of pain.

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SLENDERELLA61 4/2/2011 9:01PM

    Let me second what Vikki said. You are an inspiration! So sorry you haven't gotten what you need at Mayo so far, but am still hopeful that the specialists will be better than the primary. Sounds like you and hubby thought it through and made a wise decision, despite emotional reasons to do otherwise. It was great to see you today. May 9 seems a long way away. Sure hope the time goes fast for you. Hang in there, Cyndi. Regards, Marsha

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WILD4STARS 4/2/2011 8:22PM

    Do you know how many people in your situation would lay in bed and feel sorry for themselves? You are an inspiration to ANYONE and EVERYONE who has ever had to deal with pain. Sending prayers that they find a solution the works for you!

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