Thursday, December 25, 2008
As 2008 winds down, it is time to take a look back to see how far I've come. I'm pleased with my progress so far but I need to look ahead and plan out my strategy for my future. To be successful in 2009, I need to come up with a plan. What I'd really love to do is lose 60 more pounds between now and June 23, 2009. I want of feel healthy and like the way I look because I have to like me before I can expect anyone else to like me.
Here is my plan:
1.) Treat my health as my job - I'm responsible for what goes into my body and for what I do to get my body in shape. No one else can do it for me. Whether or not I'm successful, depends upon me. I need to set up a daily schedule for eating and exercising. It can be somewhat flexible, but no more being conned into putting myself on the back burner in order to do what someone else wants. I will become whatever I decide to become and I will be responsible for the outcome! This is a big decision for me as I tend to put aside my own needs in order to minister to others. If I am healthy and happy myself, I can do a much better job of helping other people.
2.) I will do some sort of cardio 7 days a week.
3.) I will eat between 1200 and 1650 calories each day. Varying within my range to trick my body.
4.) I will do weights 2 times a week.
5.) I will make an effort to handle stress better. I will take myself out of stressful family situations instead of letting people beat me up emotionally.
6.) I will do positive self talk every day.
7.) I will counter negatives with positives.
8.) I will do something nice for myself every day.
9.) I will take care of my spiritual needs by talking to God daily.
10.) I will smile at other people because I know it may make their day.
11.) I will measure my success not just with the scale.
12.) I will not beat myself up if I mess up on any of the items in the list above.
13.) I will review these goals to assess my own progress.
14.) I will be proud of my own efforts to improve myself.
This is my plan. Every time I lose 5-10 pounds, I will take myself shopping for one new outfit. Every time I put on an item of clothing and it is too big, I will donate it to charity. There is no going back - only going forward. Every day, I will look at myself as a new me. Better than yesterday but I'll know that tomorrow I'll be even better than today. If I feel down, I will treat myself to a non-food "picker-upper" like a visit with a friend, a bubble bath, manicure or pedicure. I will use food merely as nourishment not as a drug. (That doesn't mean that I can't enjoy eating because I will still enjoy eating.) Food will not control me, I will control it.
Am I going to be successful? Only time will tell, but my guess is that Yes I will be a success.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
I must admit that when my dad passed away, my life came to an abrupt standstill. After all the years of abuse, who would have thought it? Don't get me wrong, I love my dad; I just don't like him. My brother is almost but not quite the same as dad within the family structure. I always idolized him until last year. I don't like him so much any more either. To find out that Dad died via an email to someone else? Inexcusable and devastating! To find out that Dad had been ill for 4-5 months and I wasn't told - cruel at best. The secret was kept so that my brother could exclude me and have Dad to himself. Well with both my parents gone now he is the only child that he always wanted to be. My sister took herself out of the equation 40 years ago. This just re enforces my decision to take myself out of a bad situation. Do I regret it? No, not a chance! My emotional health is so much better for doing it. It's just a shame that it had to be this way. I am still reeling and very sad though.
This brings me to how I'm doing with all of this upheaval in my life. I'm taking a long, hard look at my relationship with food and how I deal with stress. Basically, I feel that I've done well all things considered. I did my best to cope and I did cope. Surprise, surprise! I didn't watch my sodium as well as I should and I've been having difficulty getting the salt out of my system. This has caused my weight to bounce around a bit. I did eat more sweets than I normally do too. However, I am very excited that I can see that I did this and have backed off on it. I'm taking it one day at a time. Of course, in the middle of all of this my doctor's office called and said that my thyroid numbers were too low and my medication needed to be reduced. That could also cause my weight to bounce around a bit. I'm trying to get back on a regular schedule of exercise to counter balance a bit. I'm almost back in the groove! Yay me!
Throughout all of this trauma and upheaval, my husband and daughter have been ever so supportive. Even though my daughter was crushed by her grandfather's death, we stuck together and saw it through. We made sure to spend time together - just the two of us while we were in my dad's town. Since my daughter lives in another state, this was very important. We actually went Christmas shopping at a local mall to try to get away from it all and create some new memories in an old familiar place. So the joy of spending time with her and doing something as mundane as shopping actually helped both of our pain levels. We talked and talked and talked. She is such a special person. I am so blessed. Life will be good again.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Here we are at the end of November already! I must confess that this month flew by and I'm surprised that today is the 30th!
I have updated my goals and revamped my goal to reflect 80 pounds instead of 100 pounds. This is because I've lost 23 pounds and a goal of 100 seemed huge to me. With a goal of 80, I feel like I'm making better progress. It doesn't really affect the weight I've lost already, just makes the goal look more achievable to me psychologically.
Overall I'm pleased with my weight loss for November. Last week I ate fish in a salty sauce right before I weighed in and I weighed .5 pounds more. As I predicted, the weight came off and then some a few days later. Despite my father's death this week, I've come fairly close to staying in my range. I'm feeling like I've got more control over my eating and food isn't controlling me.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Well, week three started out great. I was walking and doing water aerobics like clockwork. However, when I got on the scale on Sunday, I gained .5 pounds! I reviewed my food diary and discovered that I had eaten several things when I ate out that had more sodium than I'm used to. I was bummed that I had let down my team. I spent the next 2 days drinking, drinking and drinking followed by exercise and careful eating. I had a doctor's appointment on Tuesday and my weight was down to 242!!! I felt so much better! I shouldn't let the number on the scale define my success!!!
My doctor made me feel really good and said that she was so proud of me. She wrote down the web address for Spark People and after she checks out the site, she'll start referring patients. So, week three all worked out for the best. God has a purpose for me and I have to trust that. The plan must have been for me to do exactly what I did so I could get my doctor to start referring to SP.
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