AQUAGIRL08   208,763
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AQUAGIRL08's Recent Blog Entries

If It's Going To Hurt Me, Why Do It?

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

This morning my physical therapist did some heavy duty stretching on my lower back and hip flexors. This was followed by a session of bio-feedback, which I find fascinating. The bio-feedback allows me to isolate and use certain muscles; working them within a certain range. Today the stretching left me rather sore and my selected muscle control was very challenging. After some frustration and lots of effort, I was able to complete the exercises. Before leaving, I asked my physical therapist if it would be okay for me to go to my water aerobics class. She asked me if I was sore, which I was, and discouraged me from going - just for today. Milder exercise would be better for me today and intellectually I know that. My immediate response to myself was, "You shouldn't have asked her, you just should have gone". Hello? What was I thinking to even have entertained that thought? If it's going to hurt me, why do it?

I should explain here that I have a history of compulsive exercise (which my physical therapist knows) and have injured myself by over exercising in the past. I switched to water aerobics because I can no longer do aerobics on land due to my weight and physical limitations. I love doing water aerobics and water jogging, so going without it, for a second day in a row, is disappointing. What concerned me today is the fact that I would even entertain the idea of doing a challenging aerobics class when I was already sore from treatment. Which brings me back to the statement "If it's going to hurt me, why do it?".

How many times have I over done exercise, eaten something that I knew I shouldn't or left myself wide open for emotional hurt? The answer is, more than I can count. And yet, I'm still doing it! I'm sure that if I tried to pick it apart I could come up with some deep seeded psychological reason for doing things that hurt me but the fact is, I need to change my behavior. Coach Dean hit the nail on the head with his article about guilt. I wrote a blog about it several days ago. We all have that little inner voice that tells us what we need to do. I just need to listen a bit more closely. My gut reaction is usually right on target if I can only get myself to listen to it.

My husband once observed that even if what I say is correct, if someone else (who I consider to be smarter than I am) says something different, I will toss aside my opinion and assume theirs is correct. He's right. After years of abuse while growing up, I learned to ignore my gut. Well, it is time to wake it up again! I need to re-learn the art of listening to myself. When I do, loving myself as I am right now, will be easier.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRS.LC 3/24/2010 2:40PM

    Nice going! Do it one day at a time!!

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L*I*T*A* 3/23/2010 10:54PM

    always listen to what is in your heart............
it is always true..............
blessings and hugs...............lita

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AMANDAJCD 3/23/2010 8:50PM

    It's hard to know you can trust yourself after certain things... that retraining can be frustrating at times, but it sounds like you have a good handle on the whole situation. Way to go!!!

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    Listen to that little voice in your head. It usually won't steer you wrong.

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SLENDERELLA61 3/23/2010 6:56PM

    Relearn the art of listening to yourself. Good plan. Very good plan. You truly know what to do. -Marsha

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Taking Control Of My Environment

Monday, March 22, 2010

Today I did lots of chores that were on my "to do" list. I've found that when my life feels like it's starting to get out of control, cleaning, organizing and getting things done that have been piling up can give me the feeling of being back in control. I'm not sure why this works but it does. My husband calls it "nesting" but I call it organizing and taking back control of my environment. After working for most of the day, I have a feeling of accomplishment and calm. I know that I'll sleep well tonight and be more confident tomorrow.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

L*I*T*A* 3/22/2010 11:34PM

    love an organized place too.......good for you what a great feeling that is when the work is done!!!
blessings and hugs...............lita

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2CATS2LOVE1 3/22/2010 9:52PM

    I like comfort AND organized home. I like things in their proper places. Perhaps I have been too much like this but it works for me too! Sleep well!!

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AMANDAJCD 3/22/2010 9:30PM

    Whichever you call it, I'm glad it works :) I keep waiting to get to the point where I am allowed to have my house the way I want it. With two young boys it's more of a work in progress... LOL

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ANIKA34 3/22/2010 9:20PM

    I'm the same way!! Sleep well!!!


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SLENDERELLA61 3/22/2010 9:13PM

    I'm all for taking control of your environment! Your home is very attractive and comfortable, Cyndi. Glad you have it just like you like it. Sleeping well is a good reward for all your hard work, too. Take care, Marsha

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Guilt vs Toxic Guilt

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I just finished reading Coach Dean's article on toxic guilt. It immediately went into my saved articles. I will use his three steps to help me get control over my guilt tendencies instead of letting that guilt fester and poison me. Coach Dean's three steps will also help me with my quest for positive self dialogue. I will not beat myself up over mistakes. I will learn to listen to my inner voice. Hearing my inner voice before making a choice is key to my success. Tamping my inner voice down and dealing with the toxic guilt that results later is unhealthy. Some guilt is a positive thing and it keeps you on the straight track. Toxic guilt is loud and takes over everything. If I'm learning to love myself as I am now, I can't allow toxic guilt to squeeze self love out of the picture. Working at keeping things positive and positive self talk will help me love me. I am worth loving as I am without any conditions.

To read Coach Dean's article try this link:

Let me know what you think!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SLENDERELLA61 3/21/2010 7:21PM

    I read the article. I probably need to print it out and tatoo it on my forearm. LOL

His 3 step process seems too easy. It relates well to food choices. I'm not sure it will work with other mistakes. Most of the time I feel guilty it is about something I didn't consciously make a decision about, but someone was offended anyway.

Well, I'll read some of the other articles he recommends like the one on negative thinking. Overall, I think I'm a very positive person, but there are certain negative pot holes in my road of life that I just can't seem to get to take a patch. Kind of a strange analogy, but you know what I mean. -Marsha

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SLENDERELLA61 3/21/2010 7:03PM

    I'll read that article, too, Cyndi. Sounds like something I could benefit from as well. So, thanks for the challenge and thanks for this resource. Wishing you the loads of self love and love from others that you deserve!! -Marsha

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TBRANCH2 3/21/2010 7:00PM

    TA-DA...You finally got it!! I guess this month's daily challenges has really paid off for allllll of us!!! Great job and congratulations!!!!! (I hit this AHA moment about 2 weeks ago..... Go, Us!! emoticon

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PEGGYANNSCH 3/21/2010 5:45PM

    I will do that thank you Cyndi

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Sometimes Doing The Right Thing Is Hard

Friday, March 19, 2010

Sometimes doing the right thing is hard. This is especially true when you have to sacrifice to do what is right and you know that others will criticize you, taunt you and try to drag you through the mud; right down to their level. It isn't about me imposing my morals or my views upon others, it's about stepping up to the plate when nobody else will. I just don't understand people who stand by and do nothing to help a disastrous situation. As a society, what has happened to our sense of community? Is it because of fear, selfishness or lack of responsibility? Their reasons aren't important, I have reasons too but I'm stepping up anyway. It's hard emotionally and financially to do the right thing when the world makes it so easy to do what is easy and potentially wrong. I can't help but be amazed that this is happening during the Easter season. I'm positive that that is on purpose. Every time I think I'm too tired to continue I look at the amazing example set for us in the Easter story and I keep going.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TBRANCH2 3/20/2010 9:34PM

    Mostly it is because we live in an extremely lazy and self-centered society! "we don't have to do it...let someone else do it...we'll just sit here and complain"... you are doing the right thing by standing up for what is right!! If more people would do that, there would be a lot less crime in the world and the world would actually be a better place to live...

Remember, at the end of the day, you have to look yourself in the mirror and answer to God for your decisions and actions, not to others....AND, they will have to answer to God for their LACK of actions and decisions!! emoticon

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AQUAGIRL08 3/20/2010 9:26PM

    Thanks to all of you who have offered support! This is a neighborhood crisis that was allowed to get out of control, due to people closing their eyes to the problem and/or looking the other way, before a small group of us stepped in. It will get worse before it gets better and hopefully the police will help us clean it up. It is an ugly situation to have happen in the place where you live. Your home is supposed to be your haven!

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SLIMMERJESSE 3/20/2010 9:16PM

    I totally agree with you. And express this often in my corner of the world. Sad, sad, sad state of affairs and rampant apathy.

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DONNABRIGHT 3/20/2010 11:24AM

    Sometimes I think we expect "the government" to do all these things that people should do. I have always believed that we are supposed to take care of each other in the best way that we can. Some can do more than others and I think if we are faced with choices we usually make the right one. Good luck on your choice to do the right thing.

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L*I*T*A* 3/19/2010 10:20PM

    am not sure about what you are speaking off???what is happenning ?????
is this something where you live????
i do agree it is hard sometimes to do the right thing but most people do most of the time...........
have a great weekend.........blessings and hugs....................lita.

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SLENDERELLA61 3/19/2010 9:10PM

    There is nothing more precious, more important than self respect. Nothing gets you more self respect and integrity than living in accordance with your own values and doing what you know is right. Integrity is honesty, but it is also living as an integral whole, keeping your words and thoughts (at least the ones you choose to dwell on) and actions in line with your beliefs. I don't know what the challenge you are facing is, but in the long run I do know you will be happier if you do the right thing regardless of what others do.

Thanks for your leadership and caring. Thanks for the good month of challenges. See you tomorrow. Love, Marsha

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We Were Human Popsicles At Water Aerobics Today!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

The day started with a trip to the physical therapist. She was pleased with my progress and we talked about how good water aerobics is for me. Feeling motivated, I completed my visit and drove to the pool where I take my water class. So far this week it has been too cold to have class.

When I got there the thermal covers were still over the pool. (Not a good sign) I was desperate to do at least one class this week so decided to give it a shot. Did I mention that there is a strong, cold wind today? The temperature was around 56 degrees. I changed into my suit and went outside to see if I could get in a little water jogging before class started. I was the only person outside at the class section of the pool. The pool was still covered and all of the guards were gone except one who was watching the lap lanes. Eventually other class members came (thank goodness!) and the guards started taking off the pool cover.

It's an amazing process to see the guards take the thermal covers off and roll them onto giant spools. Once they finished, a guard got up into the chair in our section and we were allowed to get into the water. The water was nothing short of wonderful at 84 degrees! The class started. The wind brought in heavy dark clouds but it was blowing so hard that the clouds moved quickly. It was interesting to watch them. They had a kind of dark beauty.

Our work out was vigorous and good but we had to try to stay as submerged as possible. The cold wind on wet skin makes you feel like an icicle. Despite our workout efforts the class dragged; even the teacher kept looking at her watch. Of course having about 10% body fat probably made her feel really frozen. It is unusual for the class stop at the 60 minute mark since we all enjoy it so much. This time was different. Finally the class was over and it was time to get out of the water. Ha, ha, ha! The air temperature was at least 28 degrees colder than the water temperature. With the wind chill it felt much colder than that.

The teacher yelled, "The last person out gets a prize!" If we had been timed for speed, we probably could have broken world records. I've never seen so many people dash to their towels and head for the locker room so quickly in my life. In fact it was so funny that we started laughing and teasing about it. Our silliness took some of the sting out of the cold wind. We were literally tripping over ourselves to get into the warm building!

I took a hot shower, got dressed quickly and went out to my car. I sat in the car for several minutes with the heat on full blast before I was warm enough to drive home. After I finish this blog, I'm going to go wrap myself in a blanket and lay on the bed.

But....the workout was great!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PEGGYANNSCH 3/19/2010 11:17AM

    emoticon emoticon

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L*I*T*A* 3/18/2010 8:10PM

    great...........or should i say grrrrrrrrrrrrr
well done........keep on keeping on.......
the pool is the best place for me and my knees.....
blessings and hugs...............lita

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SLENDERELLA61 3/18/2010 7:14PM

    Great blog!! Love the description. Love your dedication and the progress you are making. I know those water classes are really good for you. Would be for me, too. Right now my knees are better. I know my quads and other muscles around my knees are much stronger than they were a few months ago, but I still shouldn't push it.

So far I've tried pilates, zumba, step aerobics and body sculpting. Liked them all. The Y also offers about 20 different aquatic-water classes. I just haven't felt like getting undressed/suited up/getting hair wet/and all that -- poor excuses. I used to love swimming as a kid. I was on a team (admittedly, I was the team fattie, but I swam) from age 10-17. I'm trying to get inspired. You are doing a great job of it. Will let you know when I finally literally take the plunge!!

I voted for your blog, too, by the way. Love, Marsha

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