Monday, June 24, 2013
Yesterday was a great day.
Last year, a month before we lost our baby at five months gestation, my neighbour and her husband lost thiers seven months in. It was heartbreaking, and this had been their first pregnancy. It seemed so unfair.
Yesterday, my good friend went to see them in the hospital to welcome their beautiful new baby girl! And I went along:)
It was so good to step into that hospital for a new life! It was so good to see my friend, who had a rough delivery and had developed complications, and to be able to let her tell her birth story, and get her a blanket:)
We went up to the nicu and saw baby, she was so tiny and perfect!i stroked her teeny foot. My girlfriend and I laughed when I realized she was exactly half the size of my firstborn of 10lbs 5oz lol!
I made it all the way to the elevator and then my gf asked me if I was alright. Then I started to tear up. I'm glad that I didnt show that side and put my own damper on a beautiful moment for this little new family. I am proud that instead of just feeling wistful for my own newborn, I actually felt excitement for them, and a sense of peace in myself, and that I had the courage to show my support. I hope I did! It was a great day, a hard one too, but good for the soul.
Monday, June 24, 2013
Ok I did it! Its been almost a year and a half since I stopped running, and Friday I got back at 'er with my friends in a run for our new swimming pool. We wore white and got splashed with coloured powders.
I am still suffering from a nasty lingering cold. I thought seriously about laying low. I didn't feel very well while doing the run. But afterwards? I felt soooo much better! That "got back on the horse" feeling.
It was hard going with others. I realized I had only run solo before! I ran with myself and my thoughts, at my pace, not talking, and it was akin to meditation. This was different.
My one friend is about half my size. She expected me to go bouncing down the road with her. I found it a bit embarassing when I was huffing and puffing after 45 seconds. I brought my iphone and did intervals. I really, really enjoy doing it that way. If there are 15 seconds to go and my thighs are burning, I can push myself! My other friend just dropped 27lbs in two and a half months, and here is why-her four year old fell into our local river and drowned. I dont know her extremely well, but I can say I was honored to be huffing and puffing with her:)
My bouncing tiny friend kept asking if it was okay to run ahead. We kept saying go for it. But inside I was feeling a plethora of negatives! I was chastizing myself for letting my running stamina drop off the edge of the earth. All that hard work! I thought about where I was before the losses of my babies last year, and that brought up more hard feelings! I realized I really am a slow runner. I wonder if my pace will lengthen out over time? Sometimes I am more of a slow shuffler, and that is how I keep moving forward lol!
Anyways, I tried hard to look at the gorgeous green fields, the blue sky, the colorful people, the happy little kids who will be swimming in their new pool in a month or two. I told myself its great to be able to shuffle! At the very least I am moving forward.
All I can do is take this feeling of excitement I have towards running, and sparking, and finding my best self and take the next steps! I can retrain my body to run again. Three times a week! And my little friend wants to try running together at least once a week. I am now not that certain it will work:( i didnt realize I had a competitive streak in me, but when she couldnt stop telling people all night how much energy she had and how she had to run ahead of us, I really felt upset! But hey, cant beat em? Join em, right? She can slow down and I can catch up over time. Maybe thats what I need, a bouncing bunny friend to spur me on lol;)
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Ok, I've been around here long enough to know the scale doesn't tell you everything and we shouldn't obsess. But I am really frustrated!!!
I do weigh myself every day, first thing in the morning. I find it keeps me motivated to stick to my plans. In the past I've had good success doing this.
But something is up with my body and I don't know what. Typically, I do not see huge swings in my weight. A pound to a pound and a half is my norm, and I know not to freak.
Im in week three of eating clean. I am not sure if my body is liking it this time! Or maybe its detoxing still? I feel horribly pouffy, my tummy is big, everything feels bigger instead of smaller!
I am drinking my water- at least ten cups a day. I am working out-this week has been chock full of long labouring days building a retaining wall, digging up rock hard clay, shovelling dirt, chasing kids, woodworking, wheelbarrow loads, and a kickass strength routine. Is it too much? Is my body in shock?
I know I should be patient.
But jeeeze, it takes me what seems like a long time to lose a pound but I can see a gain that doesn't disappear overnight. And that is whats happening now! Up another pound, two days in a row.
I read yesterday that most people starting an exercise and eating regimen for weight loss actually see a weight gain on average of three to four pounds in the first month. This is the reason a lot of people quit! I'm not quitting, but even knowing this,I feel discouraged anyways. And confused!
I wish I had a magic machine that could tell me -hey, you're gaining muscle, relax. Or lets go for a walk, you need to burn x off.... I have been within my limits all week.
Has anyone else been here before? I started last challenge at 218. I started this one at 222. I'm at 225 and that five percent feels a loooong way off to me right now:(
I am trying to be patient, but it ain't working, sparkfriends.
Friday, May 17, 2013
I finally found a fitness program I like. Now I am setting to the task of beginning it! I've been doing yardwork and playing with the kids and walking for my minutes in the Spring 5% challenge. I have been clean eating for two weeks straight now! I have also been on track all week for calorie limits. I was really dissapointed to find myself feeling heavier than ever! Seriously, I am puffed up and retaining water. I weighed myself this morning and yes, I weigh more instead of less. I haven't been overeating, or eating too much salt, etc. It would be really nice to feel skinnier, and see a drop in weight.
I did a little research-its most likely my body purging toxins, maybe adding muscle, repairing at least. I will keep drinking more water, keep doing what I'm doing, cause this meat can't hang onto my bones forever!
I feel proud for starting Oxygen's Your Best Body plan. The first month is all weight bearing exercise I can do at home, without equipment. I have been searching for awhile for a strength training routine that fit for me. I need to start somewhere!
It was an ugly morning in my house-the kids were dying to go outside early, but I told them no! Mommy has to exercise! I kept trying to find time for myself away from them to do this, but I haven't been able to, so guess what? Morning in the livingroom on my yoga mat, wall and couch(for incline pushups, not sitting) it is.
I had to stop between sets for snacks, a poopy bum, a fight. My daughter went to her room for awhile-she has really been testing me lately! At one point, i had a little cry. Today is the anniversary of my Angel baby's birth, and I wanted to do something for me! Three quarters of the way thru, my kids started doing crunches with me. Instead of fighting it, they were getting on board! At the end, during a quickie cardio burn, my daughter brought out sparkly headbands for all of us and everyone was doing jumping jacks and speedskaters lol!
I hope we all get something out of this!
Sometimes life is hard, and there are obstacles to overcome. But what a gift it is to be able to work towards your best self, and bring those you love along on the journey:)
Monday, May 13, 2013
Soooooo today is hubby's birthday. What do you get/make for the man who doesn't want anything ever, Christmases and birthdays included?
How about sneaky healthy breakfasts he can grab and go?
Mama always said the way to a man's heart....... Heheh
I am making him a brekkie menu he can pick from. I shopped for all the ingredients this weekend so I am ready for whatever he chooses!
Yes, this is an attempt to get him eating healthier-the breakfast burritos he has been nuking are sooooo full of not-good stuff:( its also my way of saying "im sorry I don't wake up at the crack of dawn with you and cook, honey!" I am absolutely not a morning person whatsoever!
But I am betting he will like his options:
Cheesy Potato Frittata
Banana Cream Cheese French Toast
Pecan Sticky Buns
Blueberry Crumble Muffins
All clean eating recipes, can you believe? Although, I won't be mentioning that....
I am flying solo today-off the meal plan due to a birthday bbq dinner. But I have managed to stay on track and eat clean anyways, which feels good! It could be easy for me to say screw it, the entire day is a "cheat day". But no! I mean to be successful and I intend to get rid of that all-or-nothing attitude with small steady steps towards my goals!
I just made mango pineapple smoothies with rice milk, a tsp of crystallized ginger and fresh mint to quell my sugary treat cravings. The kids enjoyed them too.
Get An Email Alert Each Time APRILAUTUMN1 Posts