Friday, August 19, 2011
I'm taking a step into a different direction today. I know I'm usually pretty upbeat, (and I am) but today and really this week I've been masking my extreme nervousness for the weeks to come.
Some of you may already know that I will be starting school as a traditional freshman undergrad. That's FRESHMAN- don't get me wrong, I am very excited but this is bringing some serious feelings of anxiety and fear as well. I am 35 years old and graduated in 1994, that's almost 20 years ago!!!! I was never the brightest kid in high school either. I was always a pretty good student with A's and B's till I got to about the 7th grade. My grades started dropping but it was usually to the C's. Needless to say, I was an average student. I only failed one class and that was Algebra when I was a Freshman in high school. Dummy me, should have taken Pre-Algebra. I took it again as a Sophomore and I BARELY passed it then. I just couldn't get it! When I graduated I started making good grades and I actually was wanting to go to school (because I was offered a music scholarship by U.T Martin) after winning a singing competition. Anyway, as much as it excited me, I wasn't ready to buckle down and study in a community college to prepare. I made the decision to work and not go to college. Now, almost 20 years later, I decided that I want my degree and I'm ready to work for it!
Here lies the problem, I've taken the easy way out my whole life. I have stayed in dead end jobs and gotten complacent and have not dared to EVER EVER challenge myself.
My health is step one in this journey to achieving my goals in life. I have managed to lose exactly half of what I need to get to my overall weight goal putting me at 175 for my bone frame and height. Now that I am at this half way point, I am in unfamiliar territory and even that makes me nervous. So here I am, looking at a new me just over the horizon (next year) and I have no idea what I look like or feel like at this point! I know that I have to succeed in the weight loss in order to get my degree.- I know that must sound crazy but I honestly believe this. I have always gotten so close to things, but never made that EXTRA effort, to be at top before!
Now, it's sink or swim. This goes for my weight and my degree! I do believe that I will achieve my goals but I am SCARED out my mind! My confidence is really taking a dive thinking about school starting next Tuesday!!! I don't know what to expect, I don't know what books I'll need. I haven't even registered yet. Orientation is next Friday and it lasts till the first day of school which is TUESDAY! I will have NO time to prepare for anything.
I went shopping for school supplies and I have never felt so lost in my life. If it were not for Anthony, I would have probably have bought just about everything. I managed to keep things simple and on our budget but I was still clearly lost.
Monday I will be going with Anth to to "President's Dinner" this is the elite of the school ( well faculty admin, staff and families) only. I will be bumping shoulders with my professors and several other important folks. I want to make a really good impression on them but also be myself- not that easy to do!
I'm so excited to be doing something so social and formal since I've been in the house all summer long but I do worry about living up to expectations since Anth is in many ways like a "Golden Child". I admire him so much for his confidence, strength, and intelligence. Anth is so smart and I definitely have never felt like a very "SMART" person before. Anyway, I am sure that I'll try on every dress in my closet to look perfect for the event. The good news is that it will be a nice free meal (usually steak or something) and a chance to dress up for a change- not to mention ANTH looks so good in a suit!! (Shhh...)
I'm sure it will all be fine, and I'll probably meet some really cool people. So far, everyone I have met there has been so nice!!
So here I am, standing at the bottom of the longest staircase of my life. I feel as if, I am a child looking up a GIANT stone staircase where the stairs are all cracked and uneven and I have to jump, crawl and pull myself up in order to climb the stairs. I know that this journey will be a long and hard one but I KNOW that I can do this!! It doesn't mean that I want get scared from time to time but I can do this!!!
Now that the Fall Semester is about to begin, I still have the ACT left. I have never taken this test, and although I can get in based on my GPA which was BARELY enough to get me in, I would like to make a good enough score to get a scholarship to help with books and honestly, I don't want to remedial classes unless I have to. I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get my degree and then work towards being my own boss.(with Anth).
So I guess I need a little encouragement here, I am really scared and on top of everything, I have studied for the ACT this summer but this past week I havent' studied or taken a practice test all week! I gotta get off my rear and hit those books!
I know I can do this I need to some cheerleaders here to help me out! I never was much of a cheerleader for myself. The one thing I really have going is that I am VERY STUBBORN and I am a FIGHTER!! Now it's time to WARRIOR ON!!
Thanks for listening everyone.....
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Me? Nah, not gonna happen. With that being said, These are just a few things that I have recently conjured up. Ok, a warning here, this is food PRON Please keep in mind, that these are for emergency situations only!! Ok well, it depends. I do not advise having these sorta treats daily but every once in awhile we need a little something.
These treats all are quick and easy. I just like to make my desserts pretty and make them feel naughty although they are really pretty light.
First up, we have my Jello "Buffed" Pudding.
Sugar Free Dark Chocolate pudding cup
2 tbsp of light whipped cream
1/8 tsp of light chocolate syrup.
For my garnish I have 4 dark chocolate hershey squares .
I absolutely love this when I have a major chocolate attack
Some recent Breakfast twists that I have come up with are next on the board.
This one was due to the fact that light french toast just didn't sound good enough for me (grant it there are a few more calories here)
I started out with 2 slices of whole wheat toast
2 egg whites
2 packs of splenda
1 tsp cinnamon (optional)
Light butter spray (like Pam)
1tbsp unsweetened coco
Top with desired whipped Cream, chocolate chips, and light chocolate syrup YUMM!!!
Next up I needed to get my fruit in and had a leftover pancake from Sunday Breakfast.
This is nothing more than a cooked pancake topped with fresh cut strawberries, light whipped cream and a drizzle of strawberry syrup.
Next up THIS has become a weekly staple for me. I LOVE starbucks with the passion of 10,000 suns!!! I gave up starbucks for the most part but I get email newsletter from Hungry Girl ( You really need to check her out at hungrygirl.com) She had a Starbucks Swap to die for so I tried it and it was AMAZING!!!! There a few SP recipes as well.
Now last but NOT least, good ol healthy fruit with a touch of light whipped cream!!!
Ok, now you all know my DIRTY little secrets!!!
Here a few of my desert food staples.
#1 ALWAYS have fresh fruit on hand
#2 I am a SUCKER for light whipped cream
#3 Dark Chocolate is a MUST(it has so many health benefits too like antioxidants)
#4 Light Chocolate Syrup in moderation can really Jazz up your favorite treat
#5. Vanilla, Coconut, ALMOND extract can add a lot of flavor but not calories.
#6. I just became a fan of toasting Coconut- WONDERFUL topping!!
#7 Reduced or Light Peanut Butter (sweet and full of protein)
#8. Coco Powder
#9. Jello Pudding and/or Yogurt can do WONDERS!!!
#10 Pretty Please with a CHERRY on top!- It's so nice to top a desert with a Cherry.
These are all very basic and simple little tricks I use to jazz up my snacks and deserts. I keep finding new and exciting ways to jazz things up and I Love Smoothies too!
I hope you start getting the shakes for sweets after this!! I have learned not to deny myself of ANYTHING!!!! If I want a sweet treat, then I get it!!!
I will count my calories, and budget it in for the day but I will treat myself every once in awhile.
I believe that the key to successful weight loss is balance. I know some people have to give up sugar completely and that isn't a bad thing but I know that I have to make choices that I CAN live with for the rest of life and this is start!!
Saturday, August 13, 2011
I don't know about you guys but I have been keeping an eye on Halloween costumes for Sexy Beast! Last night I was all over the internet trying to find something cute that would fit in my budget. Try as I might I could not help but think about all those costumes in my closet and that buying a new one just would be a bad idea. As I was looking different ideas I got down to five costumes and all are pretty cute. These were my top 5
5. Fairy Princess- I've never been a fairy before and this is just cute!
4. Purple Witch- I thought this was cute but the main reason I considered this was because I have a LOT of purple witch accessories from last year.
3. She Devil- For whatever reason, I've always liked devil costumes. I have very often been a devil.
She Devil Halloween 2010:( I dressed up different the whole weekend)
She Devil Halloween 2009:
Down to the final two!
2. Pirate Wench- I like this one just because it's very cute and sexy and I do have a jaberd and a few pirate things from a "pirate" office party a few years back ( I was always in charge of those crazy parties)
Now drum roll please for the top costume ( da da da da..) Well.. I got ya there because I decided not to go with any of these after all and things are still in the air. ) I will more than likely make my own costume this year. It's a bit of a bummer because I cannot wear a costume at school since it is an accredited Christian College but I totally understand and respect that.
Anyway.... This was ALMOST my choice!!!
#1- Sexy Vamp- I absolutely love this but I'm also really nervous about that tight fit. That wasn't the basis of my decision but as for now, I didn't buy it.
So my costume will be a surprise nonetheless.
Now, on to the real reason why I named this blog Christmas.... I KNOW I KNOW...I tell the long version of the story.
Well, after thinking about spending money on a new costume I decided to go through my closet and pull out a few things. One of these things was a corset that I have never REALLY been able to wear in public and it FIT!!!! I don't have any pictures but I will soon enough!
I find it funny that once I find something that fits, it's like something gets to me and I have to try on EVERYTHING! Needless to say, I went on a rampage and started pulling out all sorts of dresses that I either could NEVER wear or they just looked so bad that I would not wear them out at all. I decided to pull out this slinky little black Spanish style dress with spaghetti straps ( I used to NEVER do spaghetti straps) and tried it on. When I first grabbed the dress off the hanger, I thought. " Ok, I'll have to pull and tuck and wiggle around and hope that it will get over my BIG OL tummy! I grabbed dress, stepped into it, and Wallah ( insert the heavenly choir singing as the pearly gates open up) it just slid right over me. Hmm,"That seemed to easy I thought to myself." I went in the bathroom and looked in the mirror, I could not BELIEVE IT!!!! It actually looked pretty good.
I was so excited, that I did not even take the dress off for several minutes. The cool thing is, I have been trying to figure out what I was going to wear to the President's Dinner (Dinner that happens every year for University Staff/Faculty). I liked the way that the dress looked on me so much that I decided that I just might wear this in a few weeks! I just can't tell you how much this meant to me. I actually wore this dress once when I first bought it and it looked so bad that I had to wear a blouse on top just to cover the fat that bulging out! I wish I had a picture from this day but it was not good.
It's another one of those poor fashion decisions that I used to make.
So after being so excited, I had to see what else I could acquire. I tried on another dress which was a white halter dress that I wore after my Wedding to Anth. I can specifically remember wearing this dress and feeling incredibly uncomfortable because it really didn't fit. It's very tight fighting and it's just above the knee as well. I tried it on and it too looked good on me ( sorry I didn't take pics of this one)- I'll save that for the future.
I just got so excited, and then I went a little crazy.... I pulled out some old bra's and panties and tried them on. I used to be VERY bad about buying cute bra's and panties and them never fit. I tried on a girdle (never worn), 3 pairs of panties ( never worn) and two bra's (worn and one to the point that the strap was wearing thin because I would force myself in cute bra's) . Then I need to blush a bit here , some lingerie that I have worn MAYBE a time or two and it looked pretty horrible then. EVERYTHING fit me perfectly!!! I was so happy! I won't even have to buy new bra's and panties let alone dresses anytime soon due this progress! You CAN'T tell me that that isn't MOTIVATION in itself to move forward!!!!
So needless to say, I felt like I had Christmas last night about 11:30-1:00pm!!!
Oh, and believe me I did sleep in this morning... BAD GIRL!
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I don't know if any of you have seen this documentary but I highly recommend watching it. The fact that we have all been programmed for a"pill for every ill" is so absurd. When I had my stroke, I was told that I would be on blood thinner for life. The doctors that told me I would me on medication for life, were wrong! Now I am in no way saying that all drugs are bad because they are necessary to life but we truly need to learn about nutrition.
With that being said, I am looking into the detox. I know I can only take it so far but I want to learn as much as I can. There are just so many healing properties in food that everyone should have this knowledge.
I am sharing some links that I found about the detox and healing foods as well as the documentary.
Superfoods Listing. (I am sure there are more)
I would love to hear your opinions on this. This documentary really opened my eyes.
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