Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Well....... I'm talking to Negativity and those who spread it. I'm NOT apologizing! Now don't get me wrong, we all have good days and bad days and sometimes we need to express that and be REAL with others and ourselves but I'm not talking about that. I'm declaring war on those TOXIC people in our lives and all of their Negativity that they love to spread to others. Well, I think it's time to spread POSITIVITY!
YES, That's right! I am THAT girl.
I am THAT girl that SMILES all the time
I am THAT girl that sees the good in people and in herself.
I am THAT girl that still loves Unicorns, rainbows, hearts, flowers, and dancing in the rain.
I am THAT girl that believes that LOVE conquers all.
I am THAT girl that feels sorry for you because you talk bad about other people.
I am THAT girl that believes in God and is not apologizing for it.
I am THAT girl who will always be by your side.
I am THAT girl who believes that Chivalry is not dead.
I am THAT girl who believes that some things are worth fighting for.
I am THAT girl who strives to be a better person in every way.
I am THAT girl whose hero's are still Wonder Woman, Super Girl, and She-Ra
I am THAT girl who does not care who is right and who is wrong.
I am THAT girl that who believes she is BEAUTIFUL INSIDE AND OUT
I am THAT girl who does does NOT like confrontation but will have a voice when needed.
I am THAT girl that hurts when you are hurt.
I am THAT girl who loves to make people laugh.
I am THAT girl who won't take NO for an answer!
I am THAT girl who will make you sick to your stomach because I am so full of positive energy!
YES, that's right. I am those things and MUCH MORE!. I am NOT perfect nor do I want to be. I will be your friend for life and stand by you when you need me but if you try to bring me down, I will turn away from you in the blink of an eye. I am strong I am mighty and even when I am having a bad day and feeling down, it will not last.
When I had my stroke at age 26, the doctor told me I was a POSTER CHILD for a stroke victim because I never stopped fighting and I always remained POSITIVE.
When people meet me they usually say the same thing. She is so "sweet"- well I used to HATE that word "sweet" but now ... I see it as a one of the greatest compliments.
Some people may think that I am naive,- well maybe I am a little. I don't think there is any harm in thinking POSITIVE and you can say all the bad things about me that you want and try to infect the world with your Negativity, Pessimism, and HATE but I GUARANTEE you that my positive energy will seep itself into your soul and you will remember me for THAT!
I LOVE this one!
I love Unicorns because they have healing abilities and they are a symbol for Purity and Love.
I strive to be a Hero!
Some things never change....
I don't ever wanna lose my inner child!
SO THERE! Take that NEGATIVITY you're a real LOSER!
Tuesday, July 19, 2011
This life of Mediocrity has ALWAYS been an issue for me. As a child, I never really had a problem. I have always been overweight my entire life but I was never really bullied in high school. If at any time, I was ever bullied in any way (which I think I remember a total of 3 times) I stood up for myself. In kindergarden, there was a girl who told me that I had HER swing and that I was not allowed to swing in it. I let that slide for a day or two but on day three, I stood up to her. I ended up meeting her on the playground and pushing her into a sand pile. From that point on, I would let no one bully me. I really had not problems until 7th grade. I had the occasional classmate tease me about my weight but I always came back with something clever like. I may be fat, but your ugly ( not nice)or something like that. I was not the type of person to talk bad about anyone but I did not deal with teasing very well. I actually recall one day in class a very large athletic boy came up to me and called me a name and I actually dropped him right there in class by kicking him in his genitals. I almost hit him with a chair but I stopped myself.( I didn't even get in trouble for this - the teacher's always liked me) I actually got along with just about every click and no one really bothered me except for those rare few occasions. With that said, I have always been the "TOUGH" girl in many ways.
Things never really have changed and for the most part, I never let anyone walk over me. I have been VERY blessed with a WONDERFUL and supportive family my whole life BUT they never pushed me either. Here is the thing, I never really got into trouble that much. I was always the girl who got by and did everything with a minimal effort and was very lazy. I thought all of this was OK! I passed my classes, never caused any problems, and sat back and watched everything. I was always well liked and I thought I looked at life through rose colored glasses. I never excelled in anything (except singing and art) and that was ok. When I graduated high school, I had a 2. 53 GPA and was very average. I considered college for awhile when I was asked to enroll at UT Martin and was offered a music scholarship but that was cut short because of my lack of credits and scores. I ended up working in a grocery store (same place I worked in high school) for the next 9 years and although, I did move up into department manager, office manager, status I did not want to go any farther. I was still accepting Mediocrity. I decided to take some night classes and then later I went to a vocational school and got my diploma in Computer Operations Technology. I thought that would finally set me apart and get me a good job and make me a success. I did some independent consulting but still continued to work at the grocery store. Keep in mind that during this time, I was also living at home and I was in my middle 20's. I still hung out with my friends and pretty much did what I wanted to do but never really took any REAL chances.
Fast forward to the age 25, I met someone at my church that I was fond of, we dated for awhile, and then eventually married. During our engagement, I had a major stroke caused by whole in my heart. I had heart surgery a month later to close the whole. I could not work during the time of my stroke, but continued with my marriage(against my own conscience). I was married 6 months later and once again in the hospital but this time with a pulmonary Embolism. I was 26 years old at this time. I managed to recover from the stroke embolism and moved in to a new home with my new husband. From the start, the marriage was ok, but as time progressed we started having problems. We ended up moving to Nashville where I got a good job with a Computer Company and remained the bread winner of the family. After some time had passed, I began to realize that I did not love my husband as I should and I did not feel like he loved me as much as I deserved either. As time progressed, we grew further and further apart and seperated/eventually divorced in less than 2 years. I realized that I had "settled" for mediocrity in my life at that point. I did not think that I was able to do any better for myself than I had done.
Fall of 2004, I had a huge RAY of sunshine enter my life. My mom once told me that I lost the "spark" in my eye when I married my first husband but that all changed once I met the man who would be my future husband and the love of my life! I met the most handsome and kind man at work and " we quickly became friends. In time, we were married and I was finally happy and had that" SPARK" in my life.
Sadly after I married the love of my life in 2006, I received the news that my ex husband had passed. I found out that my Ex had a heart attack and was only in his early 30's. My ex husband was over 400 lbs and had a very sedimentary lifestyle. This news shook me up and got me thinking about my own mortality and health was becoming a primary issue. Unfortunately, I yo- yo dieted for the next several years and although very happy with my personal life, still " got by" at work.
This pretty much brings up to date. I worked for 7 years for this Computer Company and while I did a good job, still did not really excell or move up the ladder. I started becoming complacent and getting burned out for my job but the "TOUGH" girl refused to give up.
After a vacation with my husband in Atlanta- and having some MASSIVE food binges, I once again climbed the scale over 300 lbs. I knew, it was time for change. I also began to realize that not only did I need to lose weight and get healthy but I needed to set some real life goals and make a plan to achieve my goals. In March of last year, I set out to accomplish these goals. I managed to lose about 30 lbs and I made the decision to move on from my job. Unfortunately, I made the decision to late, and in May of this year, I lost my job. The GOOD news is that I continued on my weight loss journey and I have now lost 62 lbs to date and the even bigger decision was start college and FINALLY get my degree! I truely believe that my goals can only be met by learning a healthy balanced lifestyle in Mind/ Body and Soul. I will no longer live a life of Mediocrity! I am a fierce warrior and I will fight to get what I want and what God wants for me in this life!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Ok. I have been in a HUGE exercise slump! It all started a few weeks ago when I went to visit my in laws. I was doing very well and working out 5 days a week for about an hour a day!! I normally take a break from my regular routine on the weekends. My husband had to work on Saturday so we decided to leave on Saturday night. We stayed at his parents house until Tuesday and sat around watching T.V. The whole time that we were there. I kept saying to myself that I would get up early before the family and exercise but it did not happen. Instead of exercising, I sat on my tail the whole time and our meals often consisted off sugary high fat foods. While I still managed to track my food and mostly stay within daily allowance, I still broke my spark streak. I still managed to keep my weight at bay which is good but my exercise pretty much has ceased to exist. I walked twice in two weeks but that was it; no yoga, no cardio, no strength training! I can find every excuse in the world to not exercise; I am too busy, I am to tired, I will do it later, it's raining, it's hot, etc., etc... Well to make a long story short, I woke up and plopped my end on the scale and OMG I gained almost 3 lbs!!! I looked over my tracker to see where I went wrong.My calories looked pretty good but my fitness was blank. So I re did my spark streaks to 10 minutes a day.The good news is that I forced myself to YOGA -my favorite and 45 minutes later, I finished!!! I am not going to be defeated-not now not ever!I may have fallen off the wagon and gotten trappled by the horses BUT I can still crawl until I can regain my strengh and jump back on that wagon again!!!!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Ok. I have been in a HUGE exercise slump! It all started a few weeks ago when I went to visit my in laws. I was doing very well and working out 5 days a week for about an hour a day!! I normally take a break from my regular routine on the weekends. My husband had to work on Saturday so we decided to leave on Saturday night. We stayed at his parents house until Tuesday and sat around watching T.V. The whole time that we were there. I kept saying to myself that I would get up early before the family and exercise but it did not happen. Instead of exercising, I sat on my tail the whole time and our meals often consisted off sugary high fat foods. While I still managed to track my food and mostly stay within daily allowance, I still broke my spark streak. I still managed to keep my weight at bay which is good but my exercise pretty much has ceased to exist. I walked twice in two weeks but that was it; no yoga, no cardio, no strength training! I can find every excuse in the world to not exercise; I am too busy, I am to tired, I will do it later, it's raining, it's hot, etc., etc... Well to make a long story short, I woke up and plopped my end on the scale and OMG I gained almost 3 lbs!!! I looked over my tracker to see where I went wrong.My calories looked pretty good but my fitness was blank. So I re did my spark streaks to 10 minutes a day.The good news is that I forced myself to YOGA -my favorite and 45 minutes later, I finished!!! I am not going to be defeated-not now not ever!I may have fallen off the wagon and gotten trappled by the horses BUT I can still crawl and regain my strengh and jump back on that wagon again!!!!
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
Last night about 1:00A.M I woke up after falling asleep downstairs AGAIN to some familiar music on T.V. The old 80's cartoon She-RA was on. In my sleepy state I tried to stay awake to watch the cartoon. I LOVED She-RA as a child because she was chivalrous and very beautiful. Oh and the fact that she rides a winged unicorn -Well that is just AWESOME!!! This woman was a true role model to me.
I admittedly finished watching the show. My husband was still out on the couch and once he falls asleep he is there for the most of the night (he gets grouchy if I wake him up so I let him sleep). I went upstairs to turn in for the night and decided to grab my phone for some quick Sparking and Facebooking. I was browsing through some of my pictures and ran across some old pictures that I made .These pictures had my face on various thin sexy women. As I looked over the pictures some more, I came up with a fabulous idea! I have always done this face in other body thing but this time, I wanted it to have a purpose.
Here a few of my other personalities so to speak....
So those are fun but this time I wanted something different.
I gave each one of woman warriors different personalities and reasons for being in this Logo.
First is the center warrior, this woman is a fierce and mighty leader who has overcome so many obstacles and that is ME! This woman holds her head up high and slays her demons with authority . This woman is strength/Confidence/ Drive/ and Determination. She is the Mind.
This next warrior represents beauty and courage and heck just looks DANG good in Silver and Chain mail Armour she is the BODY
Now on to the last one this warrior represents courage/ spirit/ Honor and is the She-Ra of the group. She is the SOUL
Now when you put these fierce ladies all together to make one ME! This is the result...
The words in background represent all the things that this Done Girl is DONE with!!! Regret, Intimidation, Low Self Esteem, No Self Confidence, Weakness, Past, Fear, Pain, Failure, and Excuses- You can see the monsters and demons that we fight every day in the background. The words in the middle represent the positive force that drives me MIND/BODY/ Soul everyday. - Success/Determination/ Motivation/Future/Drive/ Victory/Win/Heart/ Confidence/ Spirit/ Strength . There is so much more I could add put the Logo is crammed full as it is :)
This is my motto and Vision for myself. I will Succeed and be beautiful both inside and out!!!! I am a FIERCE WARRIOR and I just DARE any EVIL DEMON or BEAST to get in MY way!!!!!!!!!!
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