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What l can do to change.

Monday, August 18, 2014

Hi fellow Sparks,
If you have ever read any of my blogs you know that I have had a rough go of it. Being on steroids for so many months brought weight gain, and some where in the midst of all the health issues, pet losses, and changes l had given up on trying to regain health and well being by losing weight.
Then, recently a dear friend of mine who recently had breast cancer started a 3 month protocol her specialist recommend. It
Included going off all dairy products, gluten, and sugar. Her diet precancer was unhealthy according to her. Her liver was in bad shape from her eating lifestyle, and the chemo drugs. She stayed on it for 3 months, and her test results showed great improvements in so many areas. I was so happy for her, but it wasn't motivating me to make any changes.
Then 3 weeks ago she came to visit me, and she looks amazing!
She is cancer free, has lost 24 pounds, and positively glowed.
She really got me thinking.
So 17 days ago l made the choice to go gluten free, sugar free, and dairy free.
It hasn't been as difficult as l thought it might be. I am not saying that you need to do this, l am just telling my story. My liver needs help, my cholesterol needs help. I am still on steroids and all my Lupus meds. Some things l can't change. What l can choose is how l treat this body, this shell that holds my spirit.
When l was about to start, l believe God spoke to my heart. He gave me the following words...."Sometimes you have to give up what you think you want in order to receive what you really need."
Those words came to me when l was riding in the car with my dear hubby. As soon as l said them l had to write them down because I knew I would forget them. Now when I am tempted l repeat it again, and again.
I'm down 8 pounds, but l still weigh more than l did before l started the steroids 8 months ago. I set a period of time that I was going to do this, one month. I didn't want to say l would do it for 3 months and then not do it. I felt 1 month was a tangible goal that wasn't out of reach. Then l would see after that. 17 days and counting.
I'm not as bloated. I'm not having as many headaches. I'm not as swollen, my ankles and hands look more normal. This is what's going on with me. One of the biggest thing l have learned going through all the failures with my weight and eating is that it all starts in your head. You have to really want change more than you want the artificial "comfort" that eating...make that over eating gives you. It hasn't been working too well all these years. So, l must give up what I think I want (food, sweets, etc) in order to receive what I really want. I want more. I want to do what I can to feel better. Plain and simple. That's were l am.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRIS3874 8/18/2014 9:39PM

    Wow great work . emoticon

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SHELLS514 8/18/2014 3:34PM

    Dee, I can't tell you how happy I was to read this; I am rejoicing for you! I am so glad you have found what works for you and thank you for sharing it. I have never considered gluten free so now you have me thinking too. I am going to start researching. Recently I was on an arthritis prescription that caused weight gain and I just now am getting it out of my system and am starting to see some of the weird food cravings, etc. subside. Maybe your plan is the plan for me too...we shall see!
So, so happy for you Dee! Love ya!
Hugs, Teri

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LOUIE-LILY 8/18/2014 3:20PM

    I HEAR you Dee! Good for you! I'm trying to get motivated . . .
Hugs to you my friend -

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A_RARE_BEAN 8/18/2014 12:08PM

    17 days is great, food plays such a huge role in our wellbeing, good luck to you you are doing great! emoticon

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IAM_HIS 8/18/2014 11:37AM

    Wow, this is great!! So proud of you!!!

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GOLFGMA 8/18/2014 6:53AM

    I think "Sometimes you have to give up what you think you want in order to receive what you really need" should be a mantra for all of us! emoticon

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What Next?

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Don't read this blog if you want me to be funny, because it's been a long week, and I think my funny bone has been dislocated!
This has been a difficult year, I lost two precious kitties, had a flood, couldn't breath for months, had Lupus attack my kidneys, and now I found out that my thyroid is dying.
I guess I'm not that surprised, I had to have radiation on it when I was 19 because I had a goiter that was blocking my airways it was so large.
I say" what next" because I was almost hit head on last Friday, and I had to run up the curb to avoid the truck-she barreled out of no where into an intersection-I was turning right. Thank the Lord no one was walking on the side walk! I went to drive to visit my friend in the hospital, and my tire was flat-the struts are ruined as well!
My pulmonologist is keeping me on steroids for at least two more months, "what next" he said the steroids are causing my osteoporosis to worsen, and my back is flattening one disk upon another.
Good thing I am not experiencing this alone! I have a Heavenly Father who loves me, and yes, He will see me through!
My funny bone may be temporarily displaced, but I have a smile in my heart that no circumstance can't change.
Wishing you wellness!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WALNUTT1961 6/18/2014 4:16PM

    Sending prayers up for you. Keep your faith, He is watching out for you.

Thinking of you.


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PGHP31CK 6/17/2014 8:50AM

    Praying for you!!

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MARYBETH4884 6/17/2014 7:47AM

    Believers have the best support system!! Our heavenly Father!! You will be in my prayers!

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LOUIE-LILY 6/17/2014 6:16AM

    So sorry Dee! I'll keep praying for your physical recovery...your Spiritual strength is intact, thank God. You're not alone, but I know it is so hard. emoticon

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COCK-ROBIN 6/17/2014 3:34AM

    My prayers are with you.

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Sonoma-Gone too Soon

Wednesday, June 04, 2014

This morning, my husband woke me with the terrible news that our dear little Sonoma had passed away in the night. Little Toto, her best friend was by her side.
She was laying on her side, and he thought, "free tummy rubs," and bent down to rub her, but it was too late, and she was gone.
This was a shock to us. Sonoma just turned 5 years old, two days ago.
She was eating, drinking, playing, and getting tons of love every time I sat down. She seemed so well, but the vet said that she must have had a heart attack.
We found her about 4 years ago. She was starving, a cat with fur stuck to her bones, she was spayed and declawed, and left to fend for her self.
The vet had thought she wouldn't make it, but my daughter and I took turns trying to get her to eat, rubbing her teeth with a little moist cat food until she could finally start opening her mouth to eat. She turned into this big, gorgeous kitty, a Raggamuffin, a funny, loving, sweet, precious girl. How fortunate we were to have such a loving little kitty in our home.
How any one could leave her to die is beyond me.
In spite of her mistreatment, she never lost the ability to love unconditionally, she would look at you with those huge eyes, and you could just sense her her saying, " I love you, I know I can trust you, you will always love me, and care for me."
Good bye for now dearest Sonoma, you join Roof Top, our little RT, Nubbie, Morris, Cody, Bo, Kayla. Our kittles and doggies that have gone before us. Toto misses you, so does Dingy. We love you.
This is our dear Sonoma with Toto, best friends forever, even in death.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHELLS514 6/10/2014 1:18AM

    Poor little baby but I'm so glad you gave her such a loving home. I love your heart for animals and so glad you saved her. It is so hard to lose them; they bring such joy to our lives. I hope you are doing okay; I am so sorry you have lost another one so soon after RT. Thinking of you Dee, take care. Love and hugs, Teri

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KAREN608 6/5/2014 11:26PM

    Aw, so sad. Your kitty joins my Garfield and Joejoe and Smoke.

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WALNUTT1961 6/5/2014 9:42PM

So sorry for your loss of little Sonoma. God gives us these lovely creatures to care for and love and we get so much joy from them. I wish they were able to stay with us longer! You know how happy you and your family made her feel.
Praying for you.

Lee Ann

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NHES220 6/5/2014 11:12AM

    So sorry for your loss, but so glad that you found her and gave her the love she deserved. It is beyond me how anyone can abandon a cat or dog and leave them to fend for themselves - it is beyond cruel. It was too short a life, but it was a life filled with love. We lost our Lily in December just before Christmas, we had to make a tough decision with an untreatable cancer. We kept her going as long as she was comfortable. It is never easy losing one of our furry family members.

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SPARKCHANTAL 6/5/2014 4:59AM


i have also lost so many sweet things, and it's the ones who had required a lot of tlc-- and knew how to return it-- that cause the most grief.

my tears go out to sonoma

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TIFFFIT 6/5/2014 12:32AM

    So sorry to hear about your sweet kitty. It sounds like she was a very lucky girl to have been found and loved by you. Sending comfort during your grief.

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BECKYSRN 6/4/2014 9:22PM

    So sorry for your loss. I'm sure that you and your family made her so very happy in the time you had her.

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GOOZLEBEAR 6/4/2014 7:48PM

    This is such sad news and especially to lose her at such an early age. So sorry and will send lots of hugs and prayers. It's so hard and just like losing a member of the family. emoticon

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KATOFORNOW 6/4/2014 7:23PM

    Sending sympathy; it is so painful to lose those we love, be it people and pets. Sonoma looks so sweet; these unexpected deaths really hit hard; be gentle to yourself, hug each other and the other kitties. I used to give out a book entitled Cat Heaven; it is so sweet..of cats running free, eating all sorts of yummy things, a precious book for cat lovers; I dread the day another one of our cats dies; It never gets any easier no matter how old they are.

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LOUIE-LILY 6/4/2014 6:26PM

    Oh Dee,
It's just too sad and awful. It seems you just lost your sweet RT and now your precious Sonoma...I'm so, so sorry. I have no real words of comfort that you haven't already said yourself...only tears for the loss you are grieving.
It's been such a hard year for you. I am praying for you and lifting you up to our Lord, to comfort you and care for you.
Love and hugs,
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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PEACEFULHOME 6/4/2014 6:04PM

    So sorry for your loss. emoticon

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GAYLE-G-63 6/4/2014 4:37PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

I am so, so sorry to hear about your loss. The death of a companion animal is never easy, whether it be unexpected or from a long illness. My deepest and sincerely sympathies.

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Hello Dear Friends!

Tuesday, June 03, 2014

Hello Dear Friends!

Well, it's been almost 3 months since I last was on Spark. I am doing much better than I was. I have struggled with the Lupus attacking my lungs, and my kidneys, and I have had to take 3 types of steroids to fight the inflammation. Although I am still on the steroids, I will be seeing one of my specialists this month, and hopefully I will be able to lower the doses, and eventually get off. My face is as big as the moon, one of the side effects, as is my middle.
I am not giving up. I am heavier than I was, and I was discouraged, but I have decided that I will just keep trying, and now that I am able to move a little it will be better for me all round.
It's tough knowing I am 20 pounds heavier than when I started Spark, but a set back shouldn't be the end of the world, and it isn't.
I'm owning up to my weight gain, some of it is steroids-they make you really hungry, some of it is my other meds, some of it is inactivity, and some of it is the ice cream I ate.
Enough about me, I hope you are all well. I have prayed for you, and thought of you. Thank you to those who sent me messages, and virtual gifts, I have enjoyed sitting here today, and reading them. You are a blessing to me, and so many others.
I pray your family is well, your pets too, and I can't wait to hear how you are.
Blessings, and prayers for health, and success. Your friend, Dee This was taken recently, and it's my reality, but not my destination!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHELLS514 6/10/2014 1:11AM

    Oh Dee, I am so glad to see your beautiful face! Somehow I missed your return and I have missed you so much while you were gone. I am so happy you are doing better; I have prayed for you while you were taking care of you. Seeing you back has made my day! Muah! Love, Teri

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PGHP31CK 6/4/2014 9:32AM

    Yay!! You're back! I'm so glad that you didn't give up. My DH has had to take several courses of Steroids and, yes, they make you eat like a horse!! Hopefully as you are weaned off of the last one, your body can be coaxed to give up the weight.

Cheering you on, Dee!!!

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LOUIE-LILY 6/3/2014 4:57PM

    Hello dear friend, Sooooo good to hear from you! So sorry you are still not doing well physically, but emotionally it sounds like you're on target.
I will write more to you Dee, just wanted to stop by with a emoticon and a emoticon .
Still thinking of you and praying for you!
Love and hugs,
Nancy, Lily and Louie emoticon
PS, You look absolutely beautiful!

Comment edited on: 6/3/2014 5:12:24 PM

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WALNUTT1961 6/3/2014 3:35PM

    So glad to hear from you! Glad you are able to start moving a little. Yes, steroids make you so very hungry! I have been praying for you as well.

Thinking of you, Lee Ann emoticon

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NHES220 6/3/2014 1:51PM

    Glad you checked in! Sorry to hear you have been struggling and I hope the medication is getting things under control! I pray that you are well too! Keep checking in and let us know how you are doing!

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THEEXERCISER 6/3/2014 1:49PM

    All things considering with your health it sounds like you have a great attitude and the will power to do this so good for you! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Saying Goodbye to You and SparkPeople.com

Friday, March 14, 2014

For anyone who is interested, I wanted to say that I am thinking of closing out my spark account, or at the very least I am going off line until I can get healthier.
Breathing has become such a great difficulty right now, and I am on 3 types of steroids to help control the inflammation. They are running many tests, but it looks like the Lupus is attacking my lungs, although they are ruling out any other issues as well.
I don't have the energy to spark.
I can't lose weight, and perhaps I am a bit discouraged because being really sick just wears you down a bit over time.
It's all good though, because He has seen me through, and is, and always will!
So, do your best, try because you are worth it, love generously, and I'll see you when I see you.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PGHP31CK 3/17/2014 8:45AM

    emoticon Praying for you, that your breathing will improve, and you'll be back soon!


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SUEPERWOMAN 3/16/2014 12:57PM


I'm so sorry, Dee, and I wish you the best. Pop in as you can, okay?

Love, Sue

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    Do what you can. Because of physical issues I have had to leave for a bit as well. Steroid fight with weight too. Its the mental that gets to you when you get so ill. I kno from personal experience. Sometimes just the thought of logging in and typing a few words seemed overwhelming. So somdays I just logged in and read what others were doing. I hop you decide to stay active on sparkpeople.

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DJ4HEALTH 3/15/2014 12:05AM

    I agree that you should not close your account but take time to heal. As for it being lupus that attacks the lungs I have that same problem. I have SLE and it likes to attack my lungs and heart too. Or I just should say my chest area and I also had my lungs fill up with fluid too from lupus. So hang in there and get healthy. Remember that steroids will make it harder to lose weight and will also put more weight on you too.

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COCK-ROBIN 3/14/2014 10:24PM

    Please don't close out your account. If you need to take a sabbatical, please do so. But I'm here for you in any event. Just dont' give up. It's hard for me as well, but I'm not giving up.

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 3/14/2014 10:14PM

    Prayers for you. Please don't close your account. Just take a spark break and stop in when you can. You have to take care of yourself first. YOU ARE SO WORTH IT!!!
Prayers, blessings and hugs,

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SHELLS514 3/14/2014 4:59PM

    Dee, I am so sorry you are going through this and totally understand that you need to step away and focus on taking care of yourself. I agree with the others though; might you consider keeping your account open; it can just sit there right? Then hopefully one day when you feel better; stronger you might want to pop in. There will never be any pressure to interact beyond what you want or can. You are such a gentle, sweet spirit Dee; my heart hurts for you. Whatever you decide to do I will always remember you and continue to keep you in prayer. No hard feelings if you do close your account; I completely understand. Love and hugs always. Teri emoticon

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THOMS1 3/14/2014 4:55PM

    My dear, I also suggest you just take a break and not close your account. On days that you feel you have the strength log on and see how much support your spark friends can give you. It may just give you a little lift. emoticon emoticon

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LOUIE-LILY 3/14/2014 4:37PM

    Dear Dee, You must do what you feel is best for you...but if you don't close out your account, you can still read posts when you feel well enough. Either way, I am continuing to pray for you. Your encouragement to so many will be missed, but I know everyone is praying for you to regain your health and be well. Please look for an email I sent you if you feel up to it.
You are loved by your friends here and by our Lord. I know He will watch over you.
Much love, dear friend...my prayers for you will continue.
Loving hugs,
Nancy, Lily and Louie
emoticon emoticon

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GOOZLEBEAR 3/14/2014 3:34PM

    Dee, I would suggest that you just take a Spark break and not close your account. Just come back when you are feeling better. I'm so sorry you are feeling so bad and wish I had been more of a support to you. Maybe you could just check in when you feel like it.


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JUNEAU2010 3/14/2014 3:31PM

    Hugs! I'll miss you and your wisdom!

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NHES220 3/14/2014 3:28PM

    So sorry to hear you are struggling. Praying that your health is better, I cannot imagine how difficult it must be for you. Hang in there!

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POSITIVEHOPE 3/14/2014 3:10PM

    Sorry you are in such pain right now. I have asthma so I know the energy cost of difficult breathing. I'm having a breathing treatment as I write this.
Your Spark journey is more than losing weight. It's about eating healthy so you will feel better. Your body needs healthy foods to heal and fight. Let the weight loss go but consider logging on for the support and encouragement from this site. We care more about YOU that what you eat.

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WALNUTT1961 3/14/2014 2:48PM

    Dee, I will miss you! Remember I am here anytime you want to talk. I will continue to pray for your health. Thank you for being my friend.

Praying for you,
Lee Ann emoticon emoticon

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RHOOK20047 3/14/2014 2:35PM

    You must do what you believe you must do, but know that we will still be here praying for your health and well being. I understand pain, as I live with it all the time, but I find SP helps me cope with some of my pain. But I pray that you find peace somehow. God Bless.

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AQUAPIXIE 3/14/2014 2:34PM

    So sorry to hear you have not been well. Hugs and prayers for your return to health. emoticon Sending a little sunshine your way. Hope you stick around. Even if you are just reading and communicating with others, it might be a mood booster for you.

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