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Help!!!!

Monday, June 30, 2014

It has been a VERY long time since I have been on SP. It shows....since last fall I have gained another 30 lbs and HATING it. I am now a travel nurse and working in New Mexico in a very small town. From November to June I worked days and a lot of them. Now I am contracted for ICU on nights and not adjusting very well. I just keep gaining weight. I have ZERO motivation and am ALWAYS tired no matter how much I sleep. I don't have a gym to go to and there is no variety of where I can take the dogs to walk (and now working nights, taking them for a walk in the dark is less than ideal). I have only TWO options here in town for buying produce and neither one is very good.

I. NEED. HELP.!!!!

I am starting to get desparate but my constant lack of energy is really holding me back. My clothes barely fit and honestly I am just miserable. I have said time and again that I am done with this but I have yet to stick with it, through no one's fault other than my own.

I have started doing food prep again, but like I said, my decent produce options are very limited and purchasing can be a gamble. What I need is ideas....what has worked for people and what has not. What got/gets you motivated, keeps you motivated. Food prep ideas (I can be a VERY picky eater so this can also be very difficult for me). Anything and everything. Simple. Nothing too complicated or complex.

Please, please, please my dear Spark friends....I really need your help!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHUBBEGONE28 7/12/2014 10:18PM

    Hey lady! I am sorry to hear that you are not feeling as fabulous as you are as of late. It can be so hard to maintain a healthy lifestyle when you are dealing with several other transitions. Don't beat yourself up over it. Health is an everlasting journey and every single day is a new opportunity to make wiser choices and remember why you are worth it.

As for exercise, do you still have videos to do in your free time? The Leslie Sansone DVDs and Hot Hula are a great workout.

For food, that is great that you are back to meal prep. Since you are busy, may I suggest crockpot? We make a crockpot of shredded chicken almost every week that you can use by itself, on salads, tacos, wraps, etc. We also do a black bean and tomato mixture with ground turkey (using all canned veggies/beans) that it really tasty and lasts throughout the week. If you are anything like me, if I don't have it purchased and planned out, I will get lazy and purchase something quick (AKA fatty fast)on the way home. We have a big bag of frozen veggies to add to meals when we don't have fresh and use frozen fruit to make smoothies for breakfast. What kind of foods do you like?

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KRISTA987 7/1/2014 10:13AM

    *HUGS*
I think you've made the first step coming back here and asking for help! It really shows that you are determined.
First off you need to slow down. Take small steps, it will make things a lot easier on you as you ease back into things.

Can you squeeze in 10 minutes of exercise a day? Make a promise to yourself to be committed. Make it the first thing you do when you wake up or the first thing you do when you get home from work and don't let yourself make any excuses.

Can't buy fresh produce atm? Check out frozen or canned. I know fresh is best, but sometimes we have to make due. Just remember there are other options than junk.

To stay motivated I like to read other peoples blogs and articles on here. Or search pinterest for motivation / ideas.

These things will get easier in time, just try to stay positive & focused and committed to your goals.
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KELLIEBEAN 7/1/2014 9:38AM

    Reading blogs keeps me focused. Remembering my accomplishments ( no matter how small ) reminds to keep building on those small successes.

Try to track everything, no matter what. Then you can look at it and see where you can maybe make some changes, reduce some portions. Eat something small every three hours to keep yourself from getting too hungry.

I am ravenous when I get home from work so just before I leave work, I have apple slices dipped in peanut butter or wheat thins and peanut butter, something small but filling to take the edge of my ravenous, tempting times.

Do you like celery or carrots? you can keep those with you dipped in a little ranch dressing. Experiment with different fruits and vegetables.

Your schedule is tough no doubt. Can you find a way to keep moving? walking up and down the hall every hour, run up and down a couple flights of stairs? Small burst of activity throughout the day adds up.

Decide that you want this and take small steps every single day to get there. It will become a habit and if you have a bad day, start over again immediately.

I'm pulling for you!

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GODSCHILD2_2011 7/1/2014 1:24AM

    You have to settle in your mind that you will not QUIT. I believe that determination is a main key to being successful in anything.

Do you have anyone in your area that have a personal garden you can purchase food from or can you plant a garden yourself? Maybe you have to travel to a neighboring town/ city to make food purchases.

Sometimes on the healthy lifestyle journey you get unmotivated, it happens to the best of us. Try to find an accountability partner(s) who can keep you motivated and offer support and vice verse. You 'll be surprised how motivating good accountability partners can be.

What keeps me motivated to stay on this journey is the fact that I always remind myself how great I feel when I exercise and eat healthy. I also keep a mental picture in my head how proud of myself I was when I would look in the mirror and my reflection of what I saw in the mirror match what I felt inside while on this. journey.


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Thank you

Sunday, September 08, 2013

A big heartfelt thank you to all of you who commented on my last blog. It means a lot to know I have so much support from my amazing spark friends.

This weekend I was able to get outta the house a little. A very dear friend of mine is married with 2 teenage children and they really go out of their way to make me feel like a part of the family. This friend and I went to nursing school together (that's where we met) and we have been fortunate enough to work together for the last year. Anyways, went to her house last night with the friend that just had the baby and we just had some BBQ and watched the game and did some homework. Same old thing I would do at home but it was good interacting with others besides Stella girl.

This evening I am doing dinner and a movie with my daddy for his birthday. Always happy to spend time with him.

Thanks again everyone for the continued support. I hope I can continue supporting all of you as much as you do me!

~Angie

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRADMILL2922 9/12/2013 3:10AM

    Hope you had a great time with your Dad and happy b day to him!


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FELINEBETTER 9/9/2013 4:00PM

    Atta Girl, Angie! It's very important not to isolate yourself.We are here for you through high and low tides. You Go Girl! emoticon emoticon

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DFOLKARD 9/9/2013 7:01AM

    emoticon

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WEEPINGANGEL74 9/8/2013 10:44PM

    I hope you have a wonderful time with your Dad tonight!! Glad you enjoyed the time with your friends yesterday. Wonderful and caring friends are the best medicine!!



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KELLIEBEAN 9/8/2013 8:12PM

    I'm glad you got out among friends and now a night with your daddy. Those connections can really help when we are down.

I hope you have a great night!

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DALMOM2007 9/8/2013 7:41PM

    Nice to hear that you're getting out with friends. emoticon

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FITNESSGONNABE 9/8/2013 7:29PM

  One step at a time. You're doing it!

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I've been lying to myself

Sunday, September 08, 2013

I usually donít get too personal with people, but this week I have come to a realization about something that is hindering my progress but I have been in denial that itís really an issue. It may not be very obvious, but I battle with depression and I have definitely hit a low point in my life.

It started back in 2009 when I had undoubtedly the worst year of my life. This was the year we found out about my sisterís drug addiction, my grandpa burned down his house (by accident of course), and my parents separated 2 weeks before Christmas after 26 years, just to name a few.

Iím not depressed as in I want to hurt myself and Iím not necessarily an emotional eater; some days itís not being able to get out of bed when I have a million things to do, or itís isolating myself from society not wanting to be in public.

I have been on and off meds since 2009 and I stopped taking them again late last year. I felt they were no longer serving their purpose and I was feeling great. Now here I am, stressed about so many different things, my sister and the mountain of debt I carry are probably my two biggest worries.

Exercise is something I love to do and as the days go by it becomes more and more of a chore. I have given the idea that the depression has set in some brief thought in the last few months, but I didnít really take myself seriously. But this week something just clicked, and I realized it has become a huge road block in this already difficult journey. As much as I have tried to stay positive and motivate myself and others, and come up with varying ways to stay in the mix, my efforts in pulling myself out of this ďfunkĒ have been extremely unsuccessful and I feel as though itís getting worse.

So this week I called my doc and she sent over a new script for the medication and they gave me a referral to see someoneÖsome things (like my sister) simply canít be worked through on my own.

Iím not telling all of you that happen to read this for any kind of pity or sympathy, thatís not me. Like I said, I donít usually get personal about myself (but I am always able to listen to others no matter what), but this has been weighing on me for some time and it is really effecting the direction my journey is taking (the opposite of what I want).

This week I think the only goal I met was my water intake. Very, very disappointing. I was really busy this week and my schedule was a little different, plus I was dog sitting. The combination had me completely thrown off, twice I didnít go to bed once I got off work; I stayed up most of the day aside from a 2 hour nap in the afternoon and even the following day my body just didnít know how to react, even after a good nights sleep.

For now I am just hopeful that I can start moving in a positive direction and really start making progress.

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~Angie

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUEPERWOMAN 9/21/2013 9:38PM

 
Thank you so much for sharing your heart. I appreciate your honesty.

Love, Ginger



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BRADMILL2922 9/12/2013 3:09AM

    I hate to hear that you have been going through such a hard time. I hope for you that you can start moving in a positive direction as soon as possible.

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CHUBBEGONE28 9/11/2013 12:03PM

    It is a huge step and very admirable that you are reaching out to a professional to work through some of that pain from your past. That will mean that your fresh start is truly fresh and you will be the best version of yourself during and after this journey. You are such a beautiful person and the world needs to benefit from your shine! You are bound to have some days where you are the one in need of support. Please know that I am always here if you need someone to simply listen.

Hugs,
Linds

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BARCLE 9/9/2013 4:54PM

    emoticon

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DFOLKARD 9/9/2013 7:01AM

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ABYGAILSMOM06 9/9/2013 1:41AM

    Stay positive, everything will work out for the best! It seems hard sometimes, and I am sorry for what you are going through, but there is a light at the end of the tunnel, we just have to climb through it! I hope you feel better and good luck, You can do this girl!

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WEEPINGANGEL74 9/8/2013 10:42PM

    I'm sorry you have been going through a difficult time. I suffer from something similar and I know all about the funks, they are no fun. It does sound like you have recognized your own limitations and have done the right thing by calling your doctor and getting the referral. I hope you can get out of the funk soon and get back to making your goals.

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FELINEBETTER 9/8/2013 4:52PM

    Angie - What a touching and thoughtful blog! Just your willingness to share this part of your life will help you and many others tremendously. I too have suffered depression and really didn't want to have to "rely on a drug to help me feel better," but that was one of the first positive steps that I made! Seeking counselling at the same time is a VERY good idea! If everyone decided that we could handle everything -- where would any of be? As you said, this journey is not an easy one to begin, so you absolutely need to give yourself every chance for success! Depression can completely debilitate a person if left untreated, and certainly interferes with all aspects of your life -- especially your way of thinking. I applaud & support you whole-heartedly! Look what you have accomplished despite the depression. Just think about how you may soar when it isn't a major effort just to get out of bed in the morning!

You Go Girl! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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DALMOM2007 9/8/2013 12:31PM

    Hi Angie,
Where you are now, is where I was for the past four years...it took me some time to unbury myself, and unlike you, nobody around me was the wiser...I'm always smiling on the outside and appear to be happy. (Which I actually am now.) However, in hindsite, my drinking increased to every day, I gained 40 lbs, I too shut myself away from my friends and family and behind closed doors, I was sad and depressed. I still have issues with debt, but all my other issues have resolved themselves in a good or bad way, but at least they are resolved and I've dealt with them now...finally. I'm sure that since you are seeking professional help, you'll be better soon.

Regarding your sister, I cannot give advise on how to help her, however, I can say that my brother was an addict over 20 years ago, and he is now drug free. It was not easy for him or our family, but after he truly hit rock bottom, he asked for help and was strong enough to pull through. I do know how difficult it is to watch a loved one who has an addiction and not be able to help them, however, there is always hope. I hope your sister finds her inner strength and pulls through. emoticon

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BLOOGRL 9/8/2013 11:25AM

    Angie,

Thanks for sharing your story. Self actualization is a VERY important part of personal growth and your doctor couldn't be more correct. Sometimes in life, there are several factors we CAN'T handle on our own. Your sister, your parents - you can't CONTROL them. I think that's an important factor to remember in this. It doesn't make you hurt any less, however, you can't fix what's not in front of you. You can however control how you handle it. A therapist can give you the tools to do this. The first one might not be the ticket for you. Not everyone is suitable for everyone - that includes patients and healthcare practitioners. As Dr. Phil would say, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge." You've already taken the first step. I hope this person can change things around for you and you can get back on track. I've been a binge eater, an emotional eater...and depressed since approximately first grade. I've been in many dark places. I don't just see a therapist, but a psychiatrist as well. I don't feel "wonderful"....but I think I've improved a little bit. Just be willing to utilize your resources at hand. I know myself, as well as many other sparkers are always willing to lend a listening ear.

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MICHELELYNN777 9/8/2013 10:38AM

    It takes a lot to be open and honest about our struggles, so I applaud you for sharing your story. I'm glad you are taking positive steps to help you get through everything. Even meeting one goal is an accomplishment. Stay strong and keep pushing toward the goals you've set for yourself and you will get there!
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ROCKLAND2010 9/8/2013 8:17AM

    Focus on the fact you took positive steps to help yourself. Thank you for sharing.
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FITNESSGONNABE 9/8/2013 7:55AM

  I'm so glad you felt like you could open up and talk about what is going on. Sometimes when we remain quiet about an issue it grows so big and takes on more power over us than it should have. By speaking out, you are taking control and it will be easier for you to take steps to fix it.

You are not weak for using medication and/or counseling. You are actually very strong for recognizing your needs and doing what is necessary to help the situation. I applaud you for that.

Be proud of yourself that you met at least 1 goal this week. Acknowledge that it was less than you wanted to do, but don't dwell on it or beat yourself up over it. Make some simple plans to achieve a couple more goals in the coming week, but be kind to yourself as you work this out.

You are beautiful, inside and out. I'm confident that you will search out those things that will help you and never give up on reaching your goals. Yes, this is a bump in the road, but it will not get the best of you. You are a valuable gift to Spark People, and we are here to help you on your way.

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HAPPYMENOW58 9/8/2013 6:23AM

    Congrats! You are on a positive road now that you took action for you depression.....I hope you feel better soon and will be able to tackle your issues easier......I know you CAN do it!!

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LIVELYGIRL2 9/8/2013 2:51AM

  Angie, You are being nurturing and good to yourself, to get this evaluated prior to not getting too deep in quicksand.

Don't look at it, as a failure if you need counseling or medical help. You will so much more accomplished.

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BLC 19- WUB week 4

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

It's a new month and I am feeling very positive about September! Now that I have been tracking my food fairly regularly, it's time to focus on consistency. I haven't been very consistent with working out even though it is something I love to do. So here are my goals for this week:

*Continue drinking my water
*Continue tracking my food
*Do 3 runs total this week
*Get my cross training in at least 2 days
*Take a picture of myself
*Take my measurements

Go Comets! emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SILVER_WOLF1221 9/6/2013 12:46PM

    Great Goals and I know you'll reach all over them! You got this!
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BRADMILL2922 9/5/2013 1:58AM

    Consistency is key! Good luck with your plan!

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XIAOLINMEI 9/4/2013 11:19AM

    Nice goals emoticon emoticon emoticon

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WEEPINGANGEL74 9/4/2013 1:20AM

    Great plan!!

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STEPH-KNEE 9/3/2013 8:28PM

    Great plan!!

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KELLIEBEAN 9/3/2013 8:08PM

    Good plan. Go for it!

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_VALEO_ 9/3/2013 6:33PM

    Great goals for September! And good luck for the BLC challenge!

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JBALDWIN29 9/3/2013 6:25PM

  Sounds like a plan emoticon

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Back in the game!

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

While I have been stuck on week 6 of c25k for a few weeks, I finally feel like I've made some progress today...and I feel great!

I talked myself out of hitting the gym this morning after work (we've discussed this, it just isn't practical) but I told myself I HAVE to get up and go before work. So my alarm goes off and of course I hit snooze maybe 4 times. Tried talking myself out of it again several times, even as I forced myself to get dressed. I guess I was a little apprehensive after the rough time I had Saturday.

Anyways, I finally told myself I would hate myself later if I didn't go and that I would feel so much better no matter how it turned out. I wouldn't gain anything but more fat on my @ss by not going.

Of course, I'm glad I went. It was a great workout, I struggled through it, but I finished it! No matter how many times I told myself I wouldn't be able to, I just kept pushing. I took an extra minute of walking but that's really it.

I feel like I have some great momentum this week, so it should be another good one.

Oh, and my friend had her baby last night! So excited! Can't wait to meet baby Oscar :)

Have a fabulous week everyone, I have to go play nurse.

~Angie

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BRADMILL2922 9/5/2013 1:58AM

    Good for you for pushing yourself! It can be hard to do but it is worth it! Keep that momentum going!

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DFOLKARD 9/4/2013 6:49AM

    Atta girl, getting out of that bed!

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WEEPINGANGEL74 9/4/2013 1:23AM

    Good for you on getting to the gym!! Sometimes we really do have to force ourselves even when the eventual outcome is what we want. Way to go!

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PRINCESS_SOFI 9/3/2013 9:11PM

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KELLIEBEAN 9/3/2013 8:10PM

    God job pushing yourself.

Congrats!

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CHUBBEGONE28 9/3/2013 6:54PM

    You've got it...we never regret a workout unless it is one that didn't happen. I am doing a happy dance for you, Angie!

Congrats to your friend on the birth of baby Oscar.

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_VALEO_ 9/3/2013 6:36PM

    You rock! Great pep talk!

Way to go on pushing yourself! emoticon

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