Saturday, September 22, 2012
Well, I made a list of changes I wanted to do and did not do any of them. I did eat good almost all week. The couple of things I did wrong, I did in moderation. Devin has been crashing here all week. He has been abiding by the rules for the most part but is still not moving forward with his own life. No job or school. I have decided to help him. I have tried not helping, kicking him out and holding to my boundaries and it has not produced any fruit. Time to move on to another plan. Even though I believe my kids don't care too much about me, I can't walk away. I am drinking today. so some beer and some tequila to the list. I lost weight. I have not been at this weight in a while. i am tearful today. i hate not being an active player in joes life. its like i was left to raise him all alone for 16 years than i have to get them to help with the last couple of months. i will because i love my son and will suffer for him as i always have, but it sucks. my medical issues suck too. i went in and got referred to a specialist but slightly improved with the medicine she gave me so i didn't go. but now the symptoms are back so i made an appointment. i feel robbed and raped. but my diet is going wel l.