Friday, September 26, 2008
Oh well!! I don't know who is more disappointed, me or the kids. We were looking forward to this trip for 2 months - a halloween adventure at Jellystone with new friends - trick or treating, a costume contest, site decorating - the whole bowl of candy corn! NOPE - It's a RAIN OUT!
So 20 pounds of candy, 4 sets of halloween lights for the tent...all down the drain. Literally. Now you may think - 20 pounds of candy? Just use it for halloween. Sure! great idea! Only problem here is that we get a total of 2 kids per year!!! NO JOKE! I hope the receipts are still in the bag. The candy has to go back.
We made the right decision too because it's pouring outside. The other family's sister and mom pulled out too - they have pop-ups too. Unfortunately - they rented a cabin and this place is super strict....no refunds or switching days. They sure know how to make money.
So here I sit...bumming out. Now I get to - clean my house and mop the floors because my youngest got a hold of a milk cup with no cap and splashed milk everywhere (fun)....go to work tomorrow morning (fun,.fun) ...have my inlaws over for the afternoon because we haven't seen them in a few weeks (fun fun fun)...the list of fun goes on and on....yay.
Bumming Annie needs to hit the TM bad. But alas, that too shall have to wait because the day of babysitting the cherubs has yet to begin. The more I write, the crappier I feel. It's going to be a looooong day if I don't snap out of it.
The good thing is that the day has just begun and I have the power to change it's outcome. Wish me luck.
Update from this morning's bumout....I had extra energy and angst so I rearranged 2 rooms in my house. Complete swap out of the sitting room and dining room - LOL! The kids were like, "What are you doing that for?" It entertained them and gave me a new sense of coziness that I guess I was longing for. Moved a buffet and piano all by myself!! Was easier than you think, being that we have wood floors. Slow & steady is all. Nothing like resting the eye on something new to give one a sense of peace and accomplishment - especially on a wind swept, rainy day. Made the kids clean up the trashed family room too. Ahhhh - peace has settled over the land again...
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Last Thursday was when I logged my food last because we went camping the next day...so when I got back, well, the "s" hit the fan and I just haven't had time - you know that old chestnut...MOM!! I NEED _____________!!!! Between that and being a football widow on Sunday & Monday, getting the laundry done and cleaning the house, and working...I've slacked on the tracker. Eating the same, just not inputting the stuff.
Now this phase of the SP plan should have been done back, oh - in MAY, but I wasn't there just yet, so the tracking continued up until last week. I can honestly say that I'm not flipping out over this at all. It feels like a natural progression really, which is a good thing. I'm growing up! LOL
I have to also say that if I don't get some TM time in/alone time - I'm a real bitch. From Thursday to yesterday - no me time even though we went camping...very bad, very bad. You'd think I'd be relaxed. I was flying off the handle at the kids and holding grudges against DH for watching foozeball. Like I said - being a bitch. It's amazing what a half hour yesterday at lunch on the treadmill did for me. I went to work that morning high strung and complaining...after lunch was a mellow girl and no complaining. Too funny. Boy, that sounds a bit like before and after you know what...whew! give me a cigarette, I'm spent!
Speaking of that - I treated myself to a trashy witch/demon novel for fun. I'm not in the mood for cerebral Jane Austen or Charlotte Bronte or Harry Potter right now. I needed something to get me through the football season and this one has 3 books, thank goodness. It's pretty good, so I"ll probably be done with it in 2 days! Nothing like a trashy novel. Best $7 I've spent in a long time! ROFL My brother is a writer, so delving into a new sci-fi book always makes me think of him. Where do they come up with some of this stuff?
But I digress...back to being mom again! It's 7am and the day has yet to begin! I need to get breakfast and clothes on the kiddies before 7:30 or I'm going to be off-track. The mom bus leaves the station promptly at 8am.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Yup...as some of you can see, I've lost a few more pounds in the past week, for whatever reason. Part being that I'm watching the dairy, part being that I'm exercising again and burning cals, part being that subconsciously I wasn't totally done, part being that I believe that there is an equilibrium that I'll eventually settle at and I'm not there yet....lots of little things.
It's weird to have dropped a few more because I just bought a bunch of new shirts that were slightly snug...I was 150 when I bought them, and to tell you the honest truth, they fit and look better 2 pounds lighter. At 150, I had the side pooch thing - love handles? - that I wasn't really thrilled with...2 pounds down and they were down too...not gone, just down. That makes me happy.
My closet has been completely redone and I can wear everything in it without cringing...that's something very foreign to me. I kept old and added some new, and I'm happy with that. I tossed yet another bag to goodwill - I think it's my 4th one. Trust me, there is still some to go, but I can use what's left to my advantage. I need shoes though....pretty bad.
This week at work, every single person was shocked to see me. I'm in the health field, so people see me sporadically. Every person was like, "Whoa! What have you been up to? You look great!"
We went to a party and I wore something I bought with my sister from Express - a blue fitted button down that had no gap-osis going on and a pair of black wide leg pants... I wore it to work and went right to the party...these are newer friends that we are socializing with now because of school...but I digress. I embraced form fitting clothes in public for the very first time. Talk about diving in with both feet. Our friends openly asked, so I talked about SP the whole time. Even my older friends are a little shocked.
I think my DH is going to throw up soon. I think my co-workers are going to throw up soon. They hear it all the time!
Anyway, I've kind of come to the conclusion that whatever will be, will be. Is maintaining hard? Sort of and yet not, at the same time...I have done it for 2 months. More food is weird to do, especially when you are so used to the "diet thing". Moderation with food and exercise is a balancing act. It's really a personal journey that takes a lot of trial and error. What's good for me, might not be good for you. Is dieting easier? As you can see - for me, yes, it is. Again, a very personal journey. If I knew back then, what I know now, I would have done this when I was 20.
If you think my body is some tight, muscular thing - you are so off base!
It is what it is - a six-pack of well defined fat attached to muscles - I'm just happy the spare tire is gone; arms that wave good-bye after I have stopped waving; cellulite and stretch marks are part of who I am - I accept that one with arms wide open. I don't think I need to go on, you get the picture.
So here's the deal with all this re-evaluation:
- I refuse to let myself go over 150 for the rest of my life if I can possibly help it.
- 150 is a good and happy place - I'm glad I maintained well there
- the uber-ultimate goal of a healthy BMI at 136 pounds is totally doable and if it happens to be my equilibrium spot, then so be it.
- I'm not deliberately dieting to get to 136.
- Just being in the 140s is a thrill for me and I LIKE IT!
I looks like Ms. Done might not be totally done.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
The news coverage had the names being said on every single channel in our area.
The kids in my husband's school read books and remember the day.
I mentioned the day to my husband and father this morning and said everyone knows exactly where they were and who was around them when they found out what had happened.
Personally, I had just found out I was pregnant with my first child the day before and was on cloud nine...and then my father and I watched in horror as news coverage broke and we saw 2 planes crash into the towers, and stared in disbelief that other planes were involved as well, in other parts of the country.
My husband is a teacher and teaches in a high commuter town. He's taught the kids of the victims of that day for the last 7 years. No one on Long Island doesn't know someone who wasn't there....running for their lives.
The last person I saw today at work, was a broker who was just 2 blocks away from the towers that day. He said he was covered in dust and ran for the Manhattan Bridge to get across into Queens. He saw it all. He and so many others. He described it like he was just there, in the moment.
Many people were affected by this - to think about it is almost insanely scary - not only here, but in Washington and Pennsylvania too, and the ripple effect it caused on all of those poor people on those planes. So many people. So many families.
That's why they read the list...
Sometimes to think of others, on a day like today, puts so many other things into perspective.
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