ANNIEBOLEEN   13,941
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ANNIEBOLEEN's Recent Blog Entries

Where have I been?

Friday, December 20, 2013

The antidepressants I have been on just plain quit working. I have been having more than my share of side effects. Instead of losing 5 pounds I gained five and now I am at my heaviest. I have been going on binges of sugary foods and not exercising much at all. It is all I can do to get enough sleep. Every other night I am getting about 3 hours. I am tapering off the meds and going to start a Skills Class on how to take care of myself and deal with my depression. I went to a support group and will try to fit in my exercise today. At least I have been getting on my elliptical a couple times a week. I give myself as much encouragement as I can for what I do. I don't know what is worse the side effects or the withdrawals. I just want to be healthy and happy at some point and I am working on it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYSPARKLER 12/20/2013 9:11PM

    Hey, I missed you, Annie! It is difficult to make good choices on three hours of sleep! I hope you find relief with the support group and the adjusted meds.
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LAURANCE 12/20/2013 7:57PM

  I want to empathize with you.

Apparently the antidepressants stopped working. For me they never worked, and the side effects ranged from a nuisance to seriously dangerous. I was bedridden for two months, and a couple years later I was disabled and unable to function for several weeks. I'm lucky I don't have permanent brain damage.

Now a psychiatrist is trying to persuade me to try Lexapro. If I'd had even a little bit of success in the past I'd consider it. If the side effects had been only a nuisance I'd consider it. But to be seriously and dangerously disabled for prolonged periods with no benefit whatsoever makes me unwilling to try any more.

I sure do wish you well and I hope you get past these bad effects and on to a better life.
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My Mind is Wandering

Tuesday, September 03, 2013

I have cut back on my exercise because it feels better. I think at my age I should not push myself. So instead of an hour cycling I only do 30 min on my Elliptical and I am decreasing the weights when I do them (3 times a week) So hopefully I will sleep better and still keep toned and fit. I have nothing to prove to myself or others.

My relationship is suffering due to my obsession with food and my disordered eating. I want to work on this and will try to post my progress as I try new things. I just have a bad habit of starting too many things at once. I only want to lose 5 pounds and improve my nutrition and be happy with myself. SparkPeople is a good place to express my ideas and leave my family and poor husband out of it. I am sure they would appreciate that.

I just had a bad spell with changing a medication I was on. I had to go off it and it took a few weeks to get back to myself. I am feeling better now and I am stronger at least physically. Just a little forgetful and trouble concentrating and sleeping. It is difficult to make any progress on personal goals when I have a challenge with focusing on simple things. Wish me luck!



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KALIGIRL 9/4/2013 8:22AM

    Sounds like you are headed in the right direction!
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MATSCHI 9/4/2013 12:50AM

    emoticon Try to work on one thing at the time. I also get overwhelmed if I work on several issues at the same time.

I think it is great that you are realistic in terms of your exercise. You are so right, you don't have to prove anything to anyone.

Best wishes for you! emoticon

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Return to Sparking

Friday, January 11, 2013

Well here I am after a long break from Sparking and I have not been taking care of myself. I have gotten back to a more regular exercise routine but my eating has been dreadful. I can say that my success over the summer never lasted though the holidays. I am close to gaining back all that I had lost. I don't have any energy or motivation to tackle my food issues. I hope that coming back to Spark People everyday will help to get me motivated to make some wiser food choices. I am going to try to get off the couch more often as that has been my favorite spot to wallow in depression and self recrimination. I have some problems I am dealing with, relationship, family and loneliness. I know this is not an inspiring post, just getting it out there and hoping it helps.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KALIGIRL 1/14/2013 9:16AM

    emoticon back!

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MYSPARKLER 1/13/2013 11:56PM

    Glad to see you back. I am sorry you are having a rough time. I can relate to your nutrition challenges, but we can do this! Hang in there.

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BLESSEDBEING 1/12/2013 10:49PM

    Glad to see you back, emoticon
Remember, you can make positive changes one babystep emoticon at a time. Don't try to change everything at once. Pick one new habit to focus on for a week or morebefore adding another positive choice to what you are doing.

Checking in often helps to remind you most of us are struggling & striving in one way or another to make similar changes and improvement in our lives. You got a good response from many folks here. Keep Sparking, dear one! emoticon
Blessed Be, Amanda emoticon

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NYHARDHAT_1 1/12/2013 5:56PM

    it's inspiring to know you haven't given up on yourself. That you are working on taking all of back to where you need to be. It inspires me that no matter how many times I fail all I have to do is get back up and keep going. If you can do it so can I.

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PHATPAT18 1/12/2013 3:23PM

    Posting a blog is therapeutic. Putting it all out there for all to see is the first step towards getting better. It's hard losing weight and even harder maintaining the loss. Hang in there, try to track everything and most of all, believe you can do it. Weight loss needs to be done for you and your health, no one should matter more than you.

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MEDDYPEDDY 1/12/2013 1:11AM

    You know, however weird it sounds it IS inspiring to know that I am not alone in having a hard time to stay active and positive and it mostly helps me to "put it out there" so I hope it helped you too!

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SAM60SUMTHINK 1/12/2013 12:36AM

    Welcome back!!

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1935MARY 1/11/2013 10:02PM

    Been there done that. Went through a bad year, 2010. First my aunt died in feb,my uncle in march, 3 of my grand kids were placed in foster care, my son was in jail, my mother died in Aug and friend in sept and another Aunt also is Sept, Dec. my hubby was in hospital and my son had a blockage and was in there too. My son was lucky because his was in the widow maker. The following Feb, hubby's aunt passed away and latter that year my grand kids were adopted out. Talk about not being able to motivate, I didn't have time to get over one thing before something else happen. I found sp Aug 2012 and every one has helped me through allot of things . So please quit wallowing , things want get any better that way. My granny use to say you think you are back off, but trust me there is always someone out there that is worse off. Grandmothers were so smart. emoticon

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CANDICE293 1/11/2013 9:26PM

    emoticon Back!

I know what you mean about dreadful eating I am working on changing this too. However I find it to be a long process for me.

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CATHEMARIE 1/11/2013 8:59PM

    emoticon back!

Glad you came back to Spark and have been exercising. Just got back myself ~ gained 13 lbs since April 2012. Spark People works.

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LINDAMANDEL1 1/11/2013 8:58PM

    Hello:) I just came back yesterday. Yes it's very hard, but we have to do this one day at a time. Good luck and be strong, it's all about you! emoticon

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Summer Fun

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

It has been a great summer so far. I have lost 6 pounds and have been eating better. I have a vision of reaching my goal more in focus now. I have had some reprieve from family issues and am getting caught up on projects that I had to put off the last few summers. I will be looking forward to better days ahead too.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLJEAN64 7/26/2012 6:52PM

    What a joy to read. Good for you. Don't you love all the healthy stuff that is around in the summer.

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MYSPARKLER 7/26/2012 1:19AM

    Excellent! Congratulations on your summer progress.
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WATREKKIE 7/25/2012 11:49PM

    So glad to hear things are going well.....have fun, sweetie!! emoticon emoticon

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LITTLEBO 7/25/2012 10:09PM

    Definitely sounds like a great summer..... emoticon

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SUCCESS-AMT 7/25/2012 9:51PM

  Great!!!

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yesterday,today and tomorrow

Saturday, June 23, 2012

How many times have I let what happened yesterday effect how I live my life today. Especially when it comes to healthy eating and exercise. I didn't do so well yesterday, so what the hey, I might as well continue on with my bad habits today. Instead of letting go of the regrets I take the bad feelings and use them as an excuse for bad choices today. Like that somehow is going to make the guilt, pain, remorse go away. Never has worked and probably never will. I must find some pleasure in punishing myself this way because it just becomes a endless loop. Bad behavior, bad feelings about myself and then more bad behavior. How hard it is to take one day at a time and and start fresh with new inspiration and determination. I think I will not be so single minded , maybe be more open to my intuition and the possibilities of the moment. I tend to be way too structured and rigid in my thinking. Because I did it that way yesterday doesn't mean that tomorrow I can't do it differently. One way or another.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CAROLJEAN64 6/27/2012 5:02PM

    Perfection is not required, only persistence.

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KALIGIRL 6/27/2012 8:35AM

    Here's to the emoticon

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WATREKKIE 6/24/2012 1:25PM

    One of our other Babysteps Brigade members suggested this to me: take a shower, to symbolize washing away the old and making room for the new. I haven't tried it yet emoticon but it makes sense to me. A physical sensation to go along with letting go of our less-successful past.....

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DIBANANA 6/24/2012 9:43AM

  You are right. Change something up!

It reminds me of a funny story.

A young mother was baking a ham and cut off the end as her mother had done and cooked it. Later she wondered why she had been doing it that way for years. It was because her mother did it that way. Later she asked her mother why she cut the end of the ham before baking it. Her mother replied that it was because it didn't fit in her pan!

You can do things your own way. You can take it one day at a time. Good luck.

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DMF2012 6/24/2012 5:06AM

    Don't look back, just move forward and enjoy each day!

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LITTLEBO 6/23/2012 10:58PM

    Being open to change...that is what I'm getting here. Today absolutley doesn't have to be like yesterday if yesterday didn't go to well....but you can choose to have today and tomorrow be good days.

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CHERYLSBUTT 6/23/2012 9:43PM

    Encourage yourself...even through difficulties. I think you are too hard on yourself...none of us...not a one is perfect. We try, we win, we lose, we fail and
we get up and try again. It sounds like too many changes at once...make a solid choice that you can live with...once it is mastered...add another. I am with you...you can get this working for and with you!

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