Friday, August 30, 2013
I can't believe how much I have put on in the past year. I have been so stressed out. Last I checked I was almost at 190. That almost 20lbs up from my lower weights of the past 5 years. I am going to get on a scale today for the first time since the beginning of June. I am so nervous to see the number, this is the most depressing part....
Thursday, May 26, 2011
A month ago that seemed impossible. Here is the issue. This is very close to my tipping point - the weight I stopped at last time I was losing. I got to about 168 - 169 and I just sort of sputtered out of gas. Granted, I maintained fairly well for that two years, but dang... It is so odd to think that I less than 10lbs from 160 - which I have always thought of as a different world... a place where I actually felt somewhat confident in myself... a place I havent been since college.
I feel now like it could actually be possible that I could see 160 this summer... maybe even my July, as was my original plan.
I have been out of state, on vacation, for the past two weekends. The first one saw a lot of activity... I actually hiked/jogged 3 or the 4 days I was there. Last weekend I jogged 2 of the 4 days, but did a lot of walking around town. However, I also drank -kind of a lot- each weekend. I've really been trying with food... and I don't normally drink, but on vacation it is harder to say no.
I was worried that I would come back with a 4lbs gain. Amazingly enough it was a .4lbs loss. Just hoping I can ramp it back into high gear this weekend... Did about 6 miles of combined walking and jogging today. Feel pretty good. Food today was decent. Need to go input all my calories, but I know when I am on track and today I was.
Keep it up... Keep it up.
Monday, May 02, 2011
I guess this is the start of my third week back on Spark and really putting the effort in to lose and be healthy. As I knew it would, it seems to be working. I have lost 4.8 pounds in the past couple weeks, and I am hoping that number increases when I am not as mega-bloated as I am right now.
This is such an odd place for me, the current weight range I am in. I don't know if anyone else has every experienced this, but I swear for my height and body shape, the 10lb difference between 168 and 178 is essentially night and day. Granted, I do tend to put on a lot of muscle in my legs when I am really active, and clearly that changes so much... but geez. At 168 I see pictures of myself and think I actually look SKINNY - at 178, though, I look straight up fat. So teetering between those two numbers for some time has been odd. I am hoping that my current spurt of motivation will drop me out of this zone and into something else.
I mean, I know I am not ACTUALLY skinny at 168... but maybe I would be at 158. Hmmm.
And yes, as a follow up from my previous blog, parties and going out on the weekends is always tripping me up. But as some uf you have commented, those times are not what break you down. This past week was a good example of that. I essentially had "social meals" on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday and Sunday. Granted, I was much more aware of what I was eating and careful with my calories in anticipation of those meals. So I still managed to lose. I am trying to think about these social meals not as a hindrance to my hard work... but more of a reward.
Honestly, several years ago when I was at my highest weight and exceptionally depressed I dreaded going out at all. Not because of what I would eat, but simply because I was so miserable being so horridly fat. I am trying to get myself to understand that being social and enjoying it is, in part, one of the reasons I work so hard. I want to go out, I want to enjoy the company of my friends. I want to be comfortable enough in my own skin to do that.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
So last night was a bad night, food wise. I have been so, so good for the past 8 or 9 days, and I was decent during the day... but having people over and cooking a bunch of party food and then socializing over a dinner table... ugh. Not a pretty picture.
It is things like this that I think always derail me. This happens and I get upset about it and try to push it out of my mind and not think about it. But I HAVE to think about it. That is how I am going to figure out how to not do it again.
So I logged everything as best as possible this morning. This is difficult, though, with party food because everything brings things and I am never exactly sure what what brands of things others brought. I tried tried tried to only taste things I was unsure about.... and I estimated as best as possible, but there are some things, especially with my diet and odd leanings, that are just impossible to sort out well. Sigh.
So, I am going to weigh myself today and check out the damage. I am not recording the weight, because I record my weight on Mondays. But I am going to look at it and see.
Tomorrow I hope to put in a decent amount of miles, early in the day. But I have ANOTHER social event tomorrow night and it is at a nice restaurant. Bah. Just keep trying...
Sunday, April 24, 2011
So I have been back on Spark for about a week now. I feel good about my efforts this week and am trying to get through Easter without undoing all my hard work. It is amazing how many calories can be in oatmeal, orange juice, fruit salad and half of a small cinnamon roll. But that is was Easter Breakfast can do to you I guess. And despite the calorie load, strangely enough for the first time this week I am feeling pretty hungry and am worried that a dinner that keeps me in calorie range won't appease the grumbling beast.
I haven't exercised today. Since last Sunday I have been walking at least 5 miles each day. But with the holiday and family stuff, I've done nothing thus far. Im worried that I won't do anything... but it would not be awful to have a rest day. Hmmm.
Happy Easter / Spring to everyone.
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