Thursday, March 04, 2010
51 days in and about a quarter of the way there.
I am feeling something about this and I am not sure what exactly. I wouldnít say frustrated or defeated but it isnít a good feeling. Impatient maybe? Or maybe I am finally to the point that I realize how bad I was and how much I still have to go, a bit of a wakeup call.
These feelings are a little disconcerting because I feel like this whole exercise in losing weight is a temporary adjustment and I am anxious to get to the end not only to see the results but to relax. I have to wrap my mind around the fact that it isnít temporary; this is how I should live my life day in and day out. I canít say that the exercise and eating differently is bad or even that big of a chore but what bugs me most about it is that I feel like it is always on my mind. When am I going to get time to work out? Did I push myself hard enough? Did I eat too much? Is what Iím eating sufficient? It is the constant planning and the worry of slipping up that begins to wear. I fear that always being consumed by those thoughts is what will cause me to slip and just make me want to be lazy again.
I hope to alleviate and work through some of the struggles in my head of what is enough vs. too much in this blog.
My next goal is to lose 1lb by the next weigh-in in 5 days, 3/9/2010.