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Full Of Surprises

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Gosh today is great so far.
I got up around 8am thinking really hard on going back to sleep as I did when my alarm went off at 7:30. I hit snooze twice and then I got up finally.
My bf offered to take me to the park and he was actually my motivation for today. Go Boyfriend!! I thought he was going to make me regret it but he actually motivated me, pushed me, jogged with me at points, and made me realize that I have definitely been short changing myself.
I kept telling myself I can't jog the whole way around, but I could!! I CAN!!!
My Boyfriend always tells me I am stronger than I give myself credit for and I'm starting to believe him.
I can do way more and deal with way more than I care to acknowledge sometimes. But jeez louise do I do that to myself? I gotta let go of the "Can't" and try harder, at least test to see if I can.
Partners during workouts do help. It was like he was waiting for me a the finish line and waving me in. Or running with me and telling me "you can do it!" How awesome is that?!

Anyway, I'm glad I got out there and did it. I felt myself falling off the wagon, after a week vacation and school starting. (I walked/ran once on vacation and I walk to school and to my classes (not vigorous though)).

Have a great Sunday and a Great Week Everyone.

You can do it!!!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WILMABEAL 8/29/2010 9:03PM

    That's great! emoticon

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ANISSAJONES 8/22/2010 1:04PM

  Thank you. I will mark this day and reflect on it.

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KID-AT-HEART 8/22/2010 12:55PM

    Only takes one tiny thing to boost motivation! Today, you found it!. Pay attention to how wonderful you feel on this sunny Sunday! What a great way to start the day! Your boyfriend is right on -- you CAN do it! emoticon

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I Hate Barbie

Monday, August 09, 2010

Check out this aol article.

Barbie for years influence me, all the way up till about 12 years of age.
She may even contribute to my self-esteem issues slash skinny girl obsession (I don't know).

I love the show Mad Men and this article talks about how mattel's release of the Joan doll has no curves. (Such an Outrage!!!)

Quote from Article: "According to a Mattel spokesperson, 'The 'Mad Men' dolls are styled to capture the aesthetics of the show' and not the actress's actual figure, the Daily Mail reports. "

If I have a girl one day I'm not so sure I want her to play with Barbies, even though I loved them as a child. I mean it was hard enough to find a Black Barbie (Actually called Barbie and not named something like Christie or whatever) now I'm thinking she represents something I jsut wouldn't want my child to feel is normal.

I'm not so sure of Bratz either, but at least they have Black Bratz in the original four I think it's Yazmine (My nieces love Bratz). But their figures are blown way out of proportion. Big heads, little tummy, big feet, long flowing hair (Why no fro? Black girls think natural is ugly, and b/c I was brought up that way I kinda do too).

Anyway, maybe I will take a step and sell my Barbie things one day. They are with my mother though so that may take a while b/c she leaves 12hrs away.

Tell me what you think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~Update ~~~~~~~~~~~
I read futher.

"The 'Mad Men' creator Matthew Weiner has warned [January Jones] and fellow cast mates Christina Hendricks and Elisabeth Moss to avoid hitting the gym so that they'll stay curvy, the Daily Mail reports."

~~~~~~~~~~~~Update~~~~~~~~~~~~~ article on Mad Men and curves

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANISSAJONES 8/10/2010 9:13AM

  Lol thank you. My barbie didn't date ken, she dated GI Joe. She liked a man in uniform.

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DENNIEB 8/9/2010 8:05PM

    I read somewhere once that if Barbie were real, she would not be able to stand upright due to the weight of her "girls." LOL Amanda Bynes said it best in Hairspray..."Plastic little Spastic." emoticon

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VAPERCHICK 8/9/2010 5:59PM

    People say I look like a Barbie doll - tall, slim, long legs and huge boobs, lol.
I used to steal my sister's Barbie dolls and give them to the boy two doors down to tie them to trees and interrogate them with his G.I. Joes.

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ANISSAJONES 8/9/2010 5:40PM

  I know she is plastic but the people who make her aren't.
I guess Hate is a harsh word. I do resent the makers though. They are unwilling to change and to me, they propel the idea of being super skinny is ideal.
I still love my Barbie collection (for it's monetary value more than for it's fun value).
May have been overly dramatic in my statements (I'm a theatre student though).

Thank you for your thoughts. I do need to get over my issues.

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WILMABEAL 8/9/2010 5:31PM

    hi ,there don't take anything to personal!well i had barbies as a child,I've never been happy about my body but i never took it out on barbie,lol I no she's flawless,she is a plastic model. my mother has about 300 she has them all over the place lol I better not hate them.I guess maybe you should rethink not alowing your children the oppertunity to enjoy them,because of your self esteem issues.You need to get over that.Go buy some maybe they will help modivate you use them for good use.Remember your real there fake.Just do your excersizes drink your 8 glasses 8 .oz a day eat wholewheat grains fruits veg nuts,lean'll do fine! goodluck emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/9/2010 5:38:15 PM

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Food Review

Sunday, August 08, 2010

Today for Lunch I had
Michelina's Lean Gourmet Flatbreads- Bonfire BBQ-Flavored Chicken.

It was $1.00 plus tax at Wal-mart so I decided to get it.

It was really good and I would consider having it again.
It has roasted apples in it, which may not count as a serving of fruit but added to flavor.

It was 300 Calories and 7g fat.

I would say I'm willing to get it again, but I couldn't eat it alone like I did today. I was still hungry and it was very small. The picture is a bit missleading, but had I looked at the size of the box, I would have known better.

Lucky for me I brought a plum, and I'm about to get some chips or something from my cafeteria.

I'll add 2 cups of water to that menu.

Okay, if you have any reviews of some frozen foods, I should and shouldn't eat, let me know. I'm on a budget and try to take my lunch to work and soon school so it would be helpful.

Thank you

I got a pretzel instead of chips.

I love our cafeteria. It over each station it lists all the nutritional values.
This has 180 cals and a lot of sodium.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KEAUXALLA 8/8/2010 9:02PM


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ANISSAJONES 8/8/2010 4:24PM

  thank you, I will know better next time, haha.

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CEMBEE53 8/8/2010 2:38PM

  Other Michelina's dinners are good and budget friendly. Just add and extra serving or two of vetetables.

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Low's Killing Me

Saturday, August 07, 2010

I said I wanted to work on my self esteem and confidence so that's what I'm going to do.

I read somewhere that you have to identify the problem before you can solve it.

SO whats the problem? Why is my self esteem so low?

Let me think.
1. I don't think I was raised in an environment full of people who had great self-esteem.
Don't get me wrong my parents are great and they always motivate me and make me feel better. But if I sat and watched them, they didn't do what they told me to do. They are human, and were learning as I grew too.
They both put value on their bf/gf. I remember having to deal with my dad's ever changing gf as well as my mother's one steady but alcoholic/theif of a bf.
Maybe like them I value a someone else's opinion more than my own.

2. I value other's opinion more than my own.
I used to be a chubby kid. It wasn't until HS that I slimmed down after having gym for a year and eating salads everyday for lunch (b/c cafeteria food sucks and my mom makes awesome salads, not because of health reasons).
In HS I started wanting to be noticed by guys and when I wasn't I felt bad. When I finally was I weighed about 105-106, I started to get asked if I was anorexic (I wasn't), and girls envied my body. I really liked it and basked in it. But I put way too much value on it.
Now that I've gained my freshman 15 in College I don't feel as beautiful. I never gained the confidence to be happy in my body, I just fell into the belief that almost unweight was beautiful.

3. Mind set
I know I'm not fat. I'm within my healthy BMI. I'm smart, motivated most times, caring, and I work hard with 2 jobs and full time classes in college. A lot of women would kill to have a child like me. But because of my mind set, my lowest was contiplating suicide (lucky for me I'm religious and too scared to do it), but why, if I'm so awesome. Hmmmm, I ponder.
Lets see:
I watched too much tv growing up and read too many magazine. Most celebrities are made fun of when they gain weight, they are bashed and made to look like the worst people on earth. (Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, and every celeb who was pregnant and isn't getting their body back fast enough).

Note: none of the Disney princess' are fat, not one, nor are they a normal looking body size.

Note: Barbie and now Bratz have a small waste and a big head. I always wanted to be like Barbie, but how unrealistic is that?

I had a black barbie decorated room. Pink walls, canopie barbie bed and bread spread, a barbie collection, etc. I had a barbie themed bday party one year. I wanted to be like her, she was my idle, I played with my barbies everyday and had amazing adventures with her. She always got the guy and could do anything she wanted.
I may not be a barbie freak now, wanting to sell my collectible for money and not caring about toys anymore, but that Ideal may still be stuck in my head.

4. I value a man's opinion more than my own.
Yes yes it sounds childish but I want to be attractive. Every man I have ever talked to says they wouldn't date a fat chick, or they would date me if I got fat but that's because they knew me before I was fat. What kind of Bullsh** is that? Are you sure? Makes me not want to find out if they are sure or not.
But how aweful. I mean, that doesn't sound okay at all. I don't want to be unhealthy but if I do slip up are you sure you will stick around?

5. I can't get over not being 106 anymore. I may not have been happy but at least I was thin and unhappy. That sounds aweful too. Like I'm settling.

6. I settle A LOT.
I hate my job. But I have to pay bills. So I stress and am unhappy because I don't know what else to do (I'm working on that, planning to go to my schools job fair when school starts)
I let people walk over me all the time, I feel like my opinion isn't worth it or will go unheard, I feel like people don't hear me, don't care unless they are family and they are 12hrs away by plane.
I let people give me hell and suck it in because I don't want to hurt anyone and for some reason have chosen to keep my pain in. Crying in the closet as a child because my mother won't get rid of her bf was not okay! But like then I feel helpless.

7. I feel helpless
I'm working on this. I don't like feeling this way.
My job adds to this because no matter what I say, nothing changes here. I have to do my work and other peoples work too, because the people in upper management are lazy. My job is going through financial rough times but they won't give me more hrs, they won't give me a raise, they will higher people who don't know what they are doing (temps).
Not knowing what I want to do in life adds to this. I hate talking about school b/c someone always asks what I'm going to do after I gradutate. I DON'T KNOW!!
I'm a failure at life leave me be.


All this ranting and blogging has plump tuckered me out.

I still don't know what my problem is. I still don't know how to solve it.
Lucky for me, I'm motivated, and some way or another, I will figure it out.

I'm working on it.

Any tips or pep talks?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANISSAJONES 8/7/2010 8:18PM

  I meant, I was unhappy either way it went. But Thank you for your support and encouraging words.
I am working on it. Reading articles on here, and asking myself questions, and trying to stop my negativity. It's funny that I can be so positive and optimistic for others but myself not so much.
Thank you again.

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MILNE81 8/7/2010 7:13PM

    The thing that strikes me in your list is "I may not have been happy but at least I was thin and unhappy. "

So what's more important you to... being happy or being thin? Only you can decide that. And until you love you and are happy with you as you are now (not that you have to stay the way you are but you have to love yourself) then you'll feel like you're worthy of the love that others can give you. If you don't love yourself you'll never believe in the love others give you.

Personally, I'd pick an extra 15 pounds on my body and happiness than dropping the weight and being unhappy.

Best wishes to you!

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  good luck

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Wednesday, August 04, 2010

I need advice I guess.
I got a new pedometer the day before yesterday. Yesterday was my first trial run with it and I was so excited. I wanted to go for 10,000 steps or at least see where I stand. I did 8400.
Today I wanted to go further. I did 9500+ but I think I hurt my knee. I had to stop and sit down, for the first time in the past couple of weeks. It's not excruciating pain but just enough to make me not want to get out and exercise tomorrow.

Have I been over doing it? I reset my goal for 9000 steps, because I feel like maybe I set my goals too high too fast.

I guess I will have to do extra stretches and see how I feel tomorrow. I don't want to sit it out thought, its Thursday and I usually do less fri-sat due to work.

Let me know what you think. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JDBATMAN 8/5/2010 11:51AM

    Sounds like you got it figured out. You probably just strained it a little by going too far too fast. Take it easy but still work it otherwise it won't get stronger.

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ANISSAJONES 8/5/2010 10:38AM

  greneyedblond i don't think my knee is that bad, but I'm not going to work it that hard. I still walked today, but I didn't sprint and I wasn't out for as long, I lowed my goal too. It felt better today but I can tell I did over do it.

Thanks for the reply/advice. I hope you don't need surgery and if you do then it goes well. emoticon

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GRENEYEDBLOND 8/4/2010 11:42PM

    OK, I hurt my knee a week or so ago & was not able to walk on it. I took some time off & care of it & went back this week in the pool with water aerobics. It feels a lot better but I think I am still going to have to go to the DR. It might be time for knee surgery. I have been putting it off for a long time.
I would not push it too far. You don't want to have surgery on it. Try the pool & walk as much as you can in the pool. No pressure on it in the pool. Good luck.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/4/2010 11:43:30 PM

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