Monday, December 09, 2013
Earlier in the week, I was angry with my doctor for telling me my overly unimpressive weight gain to 250 pounds in 3 weeks was all because of my food choices. Well, I take back HALF of the nasty things I called him on the way home. (The injection still made me miserable for 2 days so that I am still mad about.)
I have been really good and not eating at night... I am like another Sparker I know and I Sleep-eat. Well, I call it sleep eating, but the reality is that I like to eat while waiting to pass out and sleep. I was 250 pounds last week and I was absolutely miserable. I managed to drop 6 pounds before arriving at the doctor's office, so was 244 on Thursday of last week. I have been watching my sodium intake, NOT eating salads like I usually do because I am SICK TO DEATH of them, and have challenged my mother to not use so much SALT. Well, this morning I am down to 234.4 and I would do a happy dance if I were in a jolly mood, but I am still in mourning for Stalker. (I am a big softy when it comes to animals.)
So I have realized that I need to go back to where I was when I first started here. I am taking snacks to my room at 8pm, which is when I go in to settle down and get situated to watch some TV before bed. It's my "decompression chamber time", I guess you could call it. Once that door closes, don't bother me. (hehe) So for the past 2 days I have taken grapes, an orange, and 2 apples with me. 2 apples in case I am really munching down or if I end up sharing with my hounds because they both love apples too. I did get up and eat a bowl of Raisin Bran last night around 3am, but my stomach was growling and I thought that was full of and would fill me up, so why not. It's working.
I realized that I was overcomplicating my life by making myself have a protein shake every day and a salad for dinner - unchanging and boring! Well, since my stomach does not tolerate food early in the day (IBS sucks!), the protein shake was supposed to be brunch. But since I have gotten off the protein powder, I've been dropping weight again. And I have been eating real meals with my family because I need to learn to eat REAL food in moderation, right? YEPPERS! No salads for me and I've gotten back down 16 pounds that I had bloated up. And mom has cut back on the seasonings and just takes the salt shaker to her plate at dinner. She's a salt-aholic and has high blood pressure. Gee, go figure.
So getting back to the basics has helped me and I thank all of you that have listened to me gripe and complain about "how is this happening?" and all that jazz when I was sabotaging myself this entire time. I even had a handful of plain potato chips the other night (_Linda!!) and I knew I would be puffed up in the morning. I tried to stop, but who can just eat one chip? But I knew the mistake as soon as I ate that first chip. Yep, gained 3 pounds overnight... even with the 13 cups of water I chug every day. So sodium is definitely not my friend. And I have KNOWN this, I just chose to ignore it and blame everything else.
So I guess this blog is a "Come to Jesus" meeting for myself because if I write it down, it has to be true and I will re-read it often and remind myself that I can't have it. I even removed my weight ticker because I was ashamed to see it back up to 250. But I am going to put it back on my page today and make myself see it daily. And I want to put giant posters all over the house that say "JUST SAY NO TO SALT" all over the house. Mom said it would take away from her Christmas decorations. So I just look at all of our Fat Santas and say "You ate the salt, didn't you, Santa?". It seems to be helping.
And my doctor has switched me to Zoloft, which I can't wait to start taking. I hear great things about it and hope it will help me out of my doldrums about the holidays, Stalker, Alaska Man and all the other things that make me sad (TV commercials, books, sunshine, lack of motivation, parental bickering, etc.) Yes, you guessed it. Right now I am a mess and am trying to hold on and not fall off my cloud.
I want to thank everyone again for the heartfelt sympathy for Stalker. Our other adoptee, Gypsy, is still out there making us her slaves so I do have one animal that was saved during our last garage sale in May. She is flourishing and is actually weighty when I pick her up now. He coat is full and the reddish color with her black coat look wonderful on her. She dazzles in the sun, and has taken up residency directly in the center of our driveway, and she makes us drive around her. Gotta love her for that! So I must remember that I have saved one life this year and I need to be thankful for that. And I am. Truly I am.
Peace, Love, and Furbabies Rock,
Sunday, December 08, 2013
My kitten died after me trying to save it for the past 6 days. She went peacefully in her sleep, and I could smell a rotten smell on her the night before. I just didn't make the connection.
She as been relocated to her forever home, which is under one of my favorite maple trees where she can have peace and no dogs disturbing her.
Stalker had no sense of fear, was brave beyond need, and provided me with the some time to nurture something that needed it. So I am still really upset about it and may be quiet.
Make sure that if you have a furry person in your family, hug them all for me tonight.
Peace and the Joy of Unconditional Love,
Friday, December 06, 2013
Hello all. I went to the doc yesterday and was told that my weight gain is all food-based and that the cyst on my thyroid had nothing to do with it. I weighed in a 244 pounds.
I got an injection in my elbow of Medrol/Marcaine for the pain. Well, I ended up with the worst reaction I have ever had to any medication. My entire body went into muscle spasms last night, I had a fever, chest pains, shortness of breath, the inability to use the bathroom and all over weakness. I wish I knew how many muscles are in the human body (and I don't want to Google it), just so I would know how many charlie-horses I fought myself out of last night. I finally got to sleep at 3am after taking more Norco and 2 Zanaflex. Dangerous, nope. That's how they are prescribed, I just hate to be non-functional 18 hours a day. But last night it was my last ditch effort to try to get some sleep. I woke back up at 5am, but just in time to drift off for another hour. I was thankful for those few.
Today I have black under my eyes, a splitting migraine that the coughing does nothing to help, of course, and I am sore all over. My lungs feel like I am drowning and we have been told that Stalker - the kitten I am trying to keep alive - has probably passed us her upper respiratory infection... to my father and myself. Oh crap! Just what I needed to make me not want to be around another cat ever in my life. But I still can't let the little bugger die. It's just not in me. And a woman from First Coast No More Homeless Pets came to our garage sale today and loaded up on stuff they could resell at their thrift shop, and we gave her some seriously good deals so she is going to hook me up when I need to take Stalker in to get spayed. Oh yeah, she's a girl. I haven't had a kitten in forever and I just assumed Pain in the Ass = Male. HEHE Thankfully she is eating moist food and drinking catmilk and water and I am finally off feeding duty. Of course, her eyes are still getting matted shut, so I think I am going to ask her to get the kitten in on Monday and get her some drugs. Especially since I am being told that she has gotten us sick. (My mother needed no excuses to dislike cats, I can assure you, so I am NOT telling her).
So needless to say, I have had a rough 2 days and didn't get my team duties completed and I so apologize for that. Seems like as soon as I get up and moving, I get knocked back 2 steps, but I am still moving forward. And here's the weirdness... me being sick has brought me down from 244 on Wednesday to 235.2 this evening. NOT GOOD!
So I am off to bed to make sure tomorrow can be a better day. If not, I just may stay in bed all day. Oh, did I mention that it was 84 degrees here today. MISERABLE! My mom had sandals on, and her tanline makes her feet look dirty! LOL She says she's not wearing any shoes tomorrow (yep, you can call us all hicks now).
Peace and Health to you all this evening,
Wednesday, December 04, 2013
It as taken an act of Congress (oh yeah, they don't "act" any more, do they) to get Dinah's old damaged laptop back in order and back to me from my darling Uncle Jack who fixed it and shipped it back to us. I am so happy to not have to squint at my iPhone and try to do daily check-ins. I have been tracking my food and exercise using a steno pad and it looks TERRIBLE! LOL But the important thing is that I tracked at all, right?
I have been back to exercising for my second week after my wreck in late October. I just made the first payment on my new truck and I am surely gonna call it BASTARD because I didn't want to get a new truck yet! And it will remind me of how stupid I was to fall asleep while driving. I still can't remember a dang thing about how I ended up hitting that brick wall but I know it damaged me more than I damaged it. And I am reminded of my stupidity every time I look out the window because my wrecked truck is sitting in the back yard with brand new tires on it. And every time I leave my house, I see my point of impact. It sucks to be reminded every day and its depressing, but it sure is teaching me a lesson. Especially that first payment. THAT hurt a little bit. I haven't had a car payment since 2003!
I have a lot of catching up to do, but I am so happy to have a laptop back under my fingers. The Geek Squad at Best Buy is the biggest rip-off I have ever seen. $200 to run a disc and tell me they can't fix it. Asshats! I worked on it for 28 hours and I could have told them that!
So here are a few pictures of my new kitten, Stalker. He showed up here Sunday evening and I didn't think he would make it through the night and said if he did, I would nurse him back to health. I still have to unseal his eyes as they are still draining like crazy, but he ate moist food today so I don't have to get up every 6 hours and force-feed him 5mL of catmilk. Let's just say that I am not cut out for motherhood (only babysitting), and I feel the pain that my bestie was going through when she had her baby in August. LOL
Day 4 (EATS FOOD!):
Have a great evening, everyone. I am so happy to be back and will be begging for support, so put on your counselor hats and get ready!
Peace, Love and Happiness,
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
It was 77 degrees yesterday and only 54 today, but supposed to be 66 tomorrow. What a roller coaster Mother Nature is throwing our way. But I know I shouldn't be griping because a lot of you are looking at the snow out your windows and you are not really thrilled to be seeing it! My family in western NY state are not commenting on our weather, but they are glaring at me from all those miles away... saying I have no reason to gripe because Sunday is supposed to be 77 again.
I guess Mommy Nature didn't get the Spark lesson on MODERATION IN ALL THINGS. LOL
I am taking today off from lugging boxes and setting out things. My parents are in the garages setting things up and there really isn't room in there for an additional person (me), so I am letting them have at it. They know they are supposed to come get me if they need the help, but yesterday I had a few doozies from which I am sitting back and relaxing so not to strain anything else.
I fell in a very tiny, miniscule uneven spot and twisted my ankle and the weather change has me ankle screaming, clicking and popping every time it moves and mom has threatened to put me in traction to run the money on Thursday when we open. I have also hurt my shoulder, neck and back lifting storage bins full of blankets, fabrics, tablecloths, and window treatments. I didn't look in the bin before I went to lugging it. And there are multitudes of other small injuries that all add up to me taking today off so I can be there tomorrow.
But I must say that doing squats has really helped me while moving a tanning bed. I had to straddle the bottom part and lift the top off so we could take it apart to transport it to my house from a friend's. Only problem was that once I was in the WIDE squat position with the top of the tanning bed above my head, I had no idea how to get out of the squat! Thank goodness there was part of a pedestal sink to set it on so I could get up!! It was hilarious and Scotty almost dropped his end laughing at me. But he did admit that I was stronger than him and that he still wasn't willing to pick on me too hard after the last beating I put on him when he called me "pudgy". I told him next time, he would end up in the ER. Hehe
So here I sit in my Mickey Mouse pjs, sitting Indian-style on my bed and wishing that my parents weren't out there working. My mother broke her 2 little toes hitting them on a sawhorse, my father's arrhythmia has changed patterns and now his heart isn't pumping enough blood fast enough, so he has been exhausted. He has a stress test coming up, but they are hoping to control it with medication versus surgery. So my stress levels are through the roof because I feel guilty for not being able to do more for them today.
But, alas. I have love on my side and that is keeping me somewhat buoyant. Of course my parents love me and understand my limitations, but the other kind of love is selfless and I have been sending direct hits to Alaska. So that issue is still hot on the burner. He's the first thing I think about when I get up and the last before I go to bed (unless I am gorging myself on Nature Valley Fruit and Nut bars like last night!). And he knows that and actually thanked me for it today. He sent a picture of their first snowfall and I swear his home looked like a postcard. I will see if I can attach it here at the end.
Peace, Love and Warmth to you all!
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