Saturday, June 04, 2011
Well, last night I did something bad....I sat in front of the TV and ate way too much! I have found that if I get a good idea for somewhat healthy snacks (crackers and lite laughing cow cheese, whole wheat English muffins and lite strawberry cream cheese, and other baked snacks) that I can not buy them ALL in the same shopping trip. LOL So, I ate over my calorie range by probably 200 cals. But, the good thing is that my stomach did not feel so good afterwards....so, hopefully I can stop myself the next time my brain is craving the foods! And, even better, I didn't throw in the towel today....I picked myself up and had a great day.
Cleaned the camper awning (that took at least an hours worth of scrubbing!), cleaned out the bed of the truck and sprayed it with a hose so we can pack it for our camping trip, boxed up 95% of the garage sale items after the sale ended and took 4 boxes of stuff to Goodwill instead of saving it for the next garage sale. And I cleaned out the cooler and my portable Coleman grill. Thankfully the kids were a BIG help today. I was so tired that I told them we would go out for supper since we were taking the boxes to Goodwill and the kids chose Subway. :) So I had my sub and brought my baked chips home for tomorrow. Then we went and did a bit of shopping and I treated us all to ice cream cones. I still have to look up the cals in it, but my day should still be within my range!
So, last night might have been ugly, but I picked myself up and didn't let it bother me! PLUS, I haven't had any pop (Dt. Pepsi or Dt Sprite) in 5 days! And today I had one piece of chocolate...my first in at least 5 day. So, I'm feeling pretty good right now (as long as I don't look in the mirror. LOL
Friday, June 03, 2011
Why is there always a "but"? Even in my own mind??? This morning I got on the scale for my weigh in (after re-sparking on Monday) and I lost 1.5 pds...in four days! I should be happy with that, and I was, until I thought of how long it is going to take me to get under 200 pds. And why I am I thinking about the 199 goal now, when my mini goal (very mini) was to see below 220? OMG, the numbers are starting to freak me out!!! How did I allow myself to put all this weight on? I can remember when I was at my lowest...I still wasn't happy with my body, but I was a much more confident person! Now I want to avoid everyone because, in my head, i'm thinking that they are all thinking about my fat!
There is always a "but"....
I'm a nice person BUT I'm fat
I lost 1.5 pds BUT, look how far I have to go
That's a cute shirt BUT, it is for a skinny person
I'm sure there are so many other "But's" that we all could keep listing. Why do I do it to myself? Why can't I simply be happy with getting my food back on track and eating healthy? How do I put on my blinders and keep moving forward? There's always the, BUT, it's so far to go!
*sigh* I'm sure I'll get over the "but" hurdle eventually, I just have to keep picking myself up and dusting off my rear.....hopefully along the way I'll notice it getting smaller. LOL
Wednesday, June 01, 2011
I re-started my Spark journey on Monday and I am soo Proud of myself! I have yet to start doing regular exercise, because I'm focusing on my food journal. However, I have been doing yard work and such and using that as my exercise for now. I'm just trying to keep moving. I haven't had a Dt Pepsi in 3 days and I really haven't wanted one. I've been drinking mostly water, but later in the day I switch to brewed decaf tea with spirment leaves. Also, today was the first time that I reached the SP goal of eating 7 fruits and veggies a day! Whoo Hoo!
We will be leaving for a family vacation in a few weeks and I'm really worried that i will lose my momentum. Usually when we are camping we eat TONS of pudgy pies, chili dogs and such. My goal is to make a meal plan for us to follow so that we aren't eating pudgy pies. I'm also hoping to get lots of walking done at the state parks, and bike riding as well.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
I have finally decided now is the time to pick myself up from rock bottom. I have gained back all the weight I lost with SP, plus I gained 20 pds more. I feel awful about myself and I don't want to go anywhere because I'm afraid people are looking at me and my fat....especially those who saw me at 155 pds! I look at my picture on my SP page with my SP friend, Rhonda, and I can't believe I looked that good and still felt too heavy because I had stomach fat!!!
I want to be a healty, happy person for my kids, my husband, and myself...this is going to be a long, hard road, but I hope I'm finally ready to do this. Tonight I went for a bike ride with my kids and it was a little over 3 miles. I learned 2 things....always wear mosquito spray, and that 2 miles is pretty much my limit; I had to walk 3 times before we got home. But, I'm proud that I did it, I just hope my legs aren't killing me tonight like last week when I rode with the family at Oaubache state park.
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