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ANGEL_GRAVER's Recent Blog Entries


Tuesday, April 01, 2014

So, my last blog entry was at the end of September. I was upset with myself for regaining 17 pounds, and I was ready to get back on track.

On October 10th, I stopped at Planet Fitness during my lunch hour and took a tour of their facility. I liked what I saw. I also had recommendations from friends who had joined there, and they really liked it. I especially like their stance against "gym-timidation" as they call it. I joined Planet Fitness before leaving the building, and I even signed up to meet the personal trainer early the following Monday morning to help me set up a personal fitness plan. I was ready to do this!

A few hours later, though, I got a call from my dad. My dad NEVER calls me. It's not that he doesn't want to talk to me. He's just like me, and he doesn't really like to talk on the phone. I knew it wasn't good. He called to tell me that my mom had died. (This was VERY unexpected.) She was only 58 years old. He found her when he came home from work about half an hour before he called me.

Needless to say, I immediately packed a small bag and left to be with him. He lives about two hours away. I stayed with him for almost a week before returning home. Since that day, I haven't done a thing. Almost no exercise... I've been eating junk... (I'm a stress/emotional eater.) I just didn't care.

So, now here I sit.... almost six months later... no longer 17 pounds heavier than my lowest weight... now 37 pounds heavier.

I just cant seem to motivate myself. I can't get up in the mornings. I work from home, and I'm lucky if I get out of bed 10 minutes before I need to be at my desk and working. At lunch and in the evenings, I just want to snuggle with my dogs and sit on the couch. I tried to find someone to be my exercise buddy. I thought that if I could get someone committed to meeting me at a certain time at the gym, maybe that would help. I couldn't get anyone to take me up on it.

It's the first day of a new month. I'm going to try this again. I'm tired of my clothes not fitting. I'm sick that I had to buy clothes just to be able to have clothes that fit on my recent vacation.

Wish me luck.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CINDHOLM 4/1/2014 6:18PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

So sorry about your mom.. emoticon

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SPARKLINGHOPE 4/1/2014 11:49AM

    emoticon If you ever want to walk let me know. I belong to the Y but walk with another SP friend if you are interested in joining us. Best wishes!!

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SNS1968 4/1/2014 10:15AM


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Why Can't I Do This?

Monday, September 30, 2013

I *can* do this. That's the thing. I know that I can. In March, I hit my goal. It wasn't the number on the scale that I originally set for my goal. However, I was happy with how I looked and how I felt. It was good.

Then I stopped.... tracking food... exercising regularly... everything. Why? I honestly don't know. I've now regained 17 pounds, and my clothes are telling me that I have to do something. I've been trying to get back on the exercise wagon for three weeks now. I am exercising more, but I'm still hit or miss.

I'm angry at myself. I know that the only way that this works is to exercise regularly and track everything that I eat. I won't get back to where I was in March if I don't. So why can't I motivate myself enough to just do it?

I've tried setting goals... deadlines... rewards... It's not working.

Help... Suggestions? With the colder weather slowly creeping in, I worry even more.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

3NEWBEGINNINGS 10/16/2013 10:54PM

    I hate to use scare tactics, but if you read my story, you will see why you absolutely must get back on track. You owe it to yourself, and your future self thanks you. It is heartbreaking to slide backwards...dig your heels in and push forward! You can do this!

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TERRY0217 10/2/2013 10:41PM

    Hey girl...don't beat yourself up! It's not easy changing our lifestyles...try doing one change a week...before you know'll be on your way to a healthier you!

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SPARKLINGHOPE 10/1/2013 8:30AM


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ANGEL_GRAVER 9/30/2013 8:51PM

    While appreciate that thought.... It took 4.5 years to get to that point. It definitely wasn't too fast.

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LOOKINGUP2012 9/30/2013 8:16PM

    Maybe you took it too fast when you lost. It has to be a lifestyle change. Little steps.

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KAT321123 9/30/2013 12:29PM

    The good news is, you've done it before, so you can definitely do it again. And you're right, the issue isn't that you "can't" do it.

I think the key for me is realizing that I have control over my attitude and my decisions. Changing "I can't" to "I can" and "I don't feel like it" to "I'm doing this" makes a huge difference. Instead of setting goals, deadlines, and rewards, which don't seem to be working for you, you could try just reminding yourself, over and over, that you ARE making healthy choices now. You ARE doing it. And then just put one foot in front of the other until you get there.

Best of luck!

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I Finally Had To Do It

Thursday, June 20, 2013

So, I lost 71 pounds and felt great about it! So what did I do? Slacked off on exercising and eating right. I gained back 10 pounds. No, that isn't much, but I am so mad at myself for letting it happen! I have been back on track for the past 2.5 weeks. I re-lost 4 of those pounds. Then I keeping going back and forth though on 2 of those... gain... lose... gain .... lose.... ARGH!

I'm one of those people who weighs in every day. I know that all the experts say that we shouldn't, but I always have. It's what (usually) works for me. However, this past week and a half with the back and forth has been extremely frustrating.

I keep telling myself that I am gaining muscle because I have finally gotten serious about strength training. My clothes are fitting better, so I am sure that this is the case. However, my head just can't wrap itself around those numbers. This morning I had the hubby hide the bathroom scale. Yep. I have no idea where it is. That's the only way. I told him to get it back out on the last day of the month. That is when I will weigh myself next. Hopefully, even if the number doesn't go down, by then I will see a more noticeable difference in the way my clothes fit and the way I look. Then maybe I will finally be able to accept whatever number is on the scale.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLEARNIGHTSKY 8/26/2013 3:51PM

    I have 69 more pounds to lose, and I was so interested to read your blog today.

I am obsessed with the scale. Just starting weight training, and so maybe switch the scale obsession for an inches obsession.

I know you will get to a place of peace! You can totally do this!


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CONNSMOM 8/26/2013 1:59PM

    I love that you had your husband hide the scale - how clever! Congratuations on being the motivational SparkPage today - you look amazing. Your hard work has definitely paid off!

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3NEWBEGINNINGS 8/26/2013 9:54AM

    I'm struggling with this too. I know it's not healthy to weigh daily as it has such a powerful affect on my mood. The effect is crazy. . . I go from walking on air to feeling like a sloth. It is driving me crazy! How did it turn out for you? Your story is similar to mine, except I am in the midst of relosing. UGH!

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THOMS1 6/20/2013 3:15PM

    I have been weighing pretty much every day to keep myself in check but, just remember those fluctuation days. Don't let them get you down. emoticon

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NORWOODGIRL 6/20/2013 12:25PM

    It would make me crazy to not weigh every day. I'd like to think that the numbers don't bother me - but I know they do to some extent. You can do this.

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PJMOMMATO3 6/20/2013 12:16PM

    I am daily weigher too. Perhaps I should hide my scale too. Something to think about.

Congrats on the weight loss to date! That is awesome!

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KIMBERLY19732 6/20/2013 12:12PM

    Hang in there!

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Too Fat to be Photographed

Sunday, February 03, 2013

Have you ever thought this? I know that I did... all the time. There are so few pictures of me over the years. I made sure that I was always the one taking the pictures so that I wouldn't be in them. I wish that I had read this many years ago. It certainly is eye opening. It's not very long. Please take a moment to read it.

I am better about this now. I try and get as many pictures (with me in them!) as I can.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MOMOF2TONI 2/3/2013 12:29PM

    Wow, the link you posted was amazing! Honestly, it's true. One of my favorite aunts was very overweight but to me she was a beautiful woman. She liked to wear red and I'll always remember her in red. I loved pictures of her because she was always smiling and laughing.

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~INDYGIRL 2/3/2013 11:22AM

    Bravo! Take those pictures!

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ELRIDDICK 2/3/2013 10:51AM

  Thanks for sharing

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Meeting Other Sparkers

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Wow... I am really bad at blogging. LOL. I have all of these great thoughts, but I just never seem to sit down and type them all out.

Yesterday I went to a meetup with other Sparkers. I went with the hope that it would be the kick in the butt that I needed to get going and be diligent again. I've been slacking the last two months and gained a few pounds. That is usually my cliff... where I just fall off the edge and give up completely. The meetup worked! I left the library where we met feeling renewed and ready to go.

There are so many wonderful people on this site. Having encouragement from everyone is so helpful. Meeting some of those members in person just helps even more. Hearing their stories, struggles and successes are one of the best motivators. It gives me strength. I am ready to "Claim the life I deserve!"

If you have the chance to meet up with any Sparkers in your area, then I encourage you to do so!


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPARKLINGHOPE 11/12/2012 8:07AM


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BROWNCOFIDDLER 11/11/2012 9:17PM

    It really is awesome to meet up with SP. Another Spark friend & I have become good hiking buddies!! Love it. Glad you enjoyed it so much too.

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OJ_2_OK 11/11/2012 1:38PM

    That is awesome! Great tool to keep yourself on track! I would love to meet up with some sparkers. I will have to look into it.

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