Tuesday, January 24, 2012
I just realized that I haven't posted a blog on here since last August! Which also means that I probably haven't been working out or tracking my eating habits since then either. No wonder the last time I got on the scale I had GAINED 10 pounds! What is WRONG with me? I have never, EVER been this overweight in my entire life, and it keeps getting worse.
Yes, I have low self-esteem, always have. And yes, I know I'm unhappy where I am and need to take steps to change that. What I don't understand is why I seem to have this mental block keeping me from losing weight and being happy and healthy!
Last week I did work out Monday - Thursday, but completely slacked on Friday, Sat, and Sunday even though I was NOT busy and had plenty of time to work out. I just didn't. I did manage to graze like a cow and watch lots of TV. Luckily we don't keep snacks in the house, but just because it's not chips and ice cream doesn't mean it's not calories I don't need.
I also wonder when I work out for 20 - 30 minutes if it's really enough. I keep telling myself right now I'm just trying to make it a habit, and 20 - 30 min is a lot better than nothing. When I push myself on the elliptical I can burn 150 - 180 calories in 20 min or so, and my tracker says I need to burn 1010 calories a week (roughly 150 cal a day over 7 days) to meet my goal.
Of course, I just found that out today... perhaps that will make it easier to "just do it". I do wonder when I do a work our video how to know what you burn. My elliptical tells me on the screen... this may require some googling.
Well, after my cupcake for breakfast (it was someone's birthday, and I only ate 1!) I'm really not feeling too proud of myself, but I suppose I'll just have to start again. My pants are uncomfortable and actually rolling down at the top because they are too tight and it's driving me crazy! Maybe I should wear these every day to remind myself to keep my eating in check and to make a work out a priority every day.
I had a motivator... I was to be the Matron of Honor in a wedding in August, but now the couple is eloping so no dreaded bridesmaid dress and wedding pictures to worry about now. I DID buy a pretty (and expensive for me) dress for my birthday in april, that is probably 2-3 sizes too small right now. That's about 13 weeks, and if I hit 2 pounds a week I'll be 13 pounds from my goal weight on my birthday! Will I really drop 2 pounds a week if I burn 150 calories a day and watch what I eat??
Well, sorry to anyone who actually reads this. I really blog for myself so I don't go completely insane. I'm deciding right now that tonight I will fit in a work out, even though I'm watching my 3 year old nephew from 6-9pm. On a weeknight... what was I thinking?
Come on me, you can do this!
Friday, August 19, 2011
Have you ever been belittled by a video game? It goes something like this...
"Hi! It's been a while since I've seen you. Been too busy to exercise huh? Well, let's get you on the scale... OH! That's overweight! Hmm... looks like you've gained a little since last time! You aren't going to reach your goal at this rate. What are you doing wrong? Snacking, overeating, not exercising? To be at healthy weight you need to be 30 pounds lighter! Let's set a new goal..."
So... I really only use the Wii Fit as a scale, and to "stamp" the days I work out. Regardless, the scale doesn't lie. Why aren't I losing weight? Why is the scale stuck between 161 - 162 pounds? I've revamped my eating habits, and work out more than I ever have, but that scale is so stubborn! And honestly... in high school I was a happy 142 pounds, yet for a "healthy" BMI I'm supposed to get down to 132? I would wear a size 2 or 4 if I lost that much. Is that really healthy or just extra skinny? I like having a little curve (and my husband does too!).
So, I suppose I'm just going to have to be a little more committed. I admit, working out only 2-3 times a week is probably my downfall. Will I have to work out 5-6 times a week for the rest of my life to keep from ballooning? Is maintaining really easier than losing?
I think I've lost my mind... which is a lot easier than losing weight!
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
11 more days until my 1st mini goal of 5 pounds by 8/6/11. I think (hope?) I'm starting to see changes from my workouts. I feel like my arms and legs have a bit more firmness to them, and I'm pretty sure I have at least a little more endurance than I did a few weeks ago. Or I'm at least trying harder.
My Wii fit board still mocks me when I weigh in ("that's overweight!") but that line on the graph is slowly creeping down. And I do love stamping the calendar each day after I work out. I can really see when I'm putting in the effort and when I'm slacking off. I think I need some stickers for my calendar at work...
I won a battle with myself last night. Normally I'm eager to use the "oh shucks, I've procrastinated so long now it's too late to work out today!" excuse. But last night as I sat on the couch at 9:30 I made the choice to get up and work out anyway. I was very proud of myself, and am hoping to break myself of the procrastination excuse.
Ok, me... you seem to have trouble working out beyond 2 days in a row (and even 2 days in a row is few and far between). You only have 11 days to meet this goal, and you aren't going to get there by skipping days willy-nilly. It's time to commit! Got it? Good!
Friday, July 22, 2011
I've surprised myself in the past couple of weeks. No, I haven't been perfect. I'm sure I had days I ate too much, although I've been consciously trying to pick healthy foods over junk. And I haven't worked out every day, but 2-3 times a week is a lot better than none! But I have lost 5-6 pounds in the last 6 weeks or so. I'm sure that number could be higher, but I honestly haven't committed 100%. I think as I get more stamina the workouts will be dreaded less, and the better I eat the more my body craves fruit and veggies and healthy food.
I think I came on here to vent about feeling fat after seeing pictures of me from our cookout at work on Wednesday. But then I realized I've had the power to change that since I gained this weight over 3 years ago. So instead of complaining I'm looking forward to when I can once again not fear how terrible I look in a photo, and just enjoy the occasion!
I have a wedding to go to in 2 weeks, and bought a cute little dress I'm dying (and terrified) to wear. My next short-term goal is to focus for 2 weeks and see if I can lose 5 pounds, putting me below my 1st goal. Can I do it? YES I CAN!
About 6 weeks after the wedding I will be escorting 6 girls (12-13 years old) to a hotel slumber party (my sister-in-law is turning 13). There will be swimming involved, so I'm hoping to lose another 10 pounds in the 6 weeks between the wedding and this party, so maybe I'll be brave enough to wear a bathing suit!
So there it is! My next 2 achievable goals complete with a time line that isn't so far away it seems unreal. Now to stay focused and make it happen!
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