Saturday, July 09, 2011
I am leaving today for Ferry Beach - which is next to Saco, Maine. I will be gone a week - til next Friday. It is for a conference with training for my job, which is the Director of Religious Education. The conference is "RE (Religious Education) Week". I will have breakfast 7:30-8:30 and then chapel and then class from 9-12. The afternoons are free time - but some activities scheduled like a talent-no talent show, drumming, singing (I hope), porch chats, yoga, etc. I am bringing my drum - which is an African drum called an Ashiko. I left my wedding rings home so I won't lose them somewhere when I remove them to drum.
I have not ever been away from my son overnight other than the night's he's gone on sleepovers. So I think it might be hard for him. And after about one day I'm going to miss him terribly, too.
I am worried about the food. They feed us three meals a day, but that may not be enough for me. What if I'm hungry after 7 pm? Actually am quite worried and think I may overeat at meals just in case. Even if I try to track (and I will by pen/paper and will bring my laptop - which may or may not work.. Has to be plugged in and has a mostly broken WiFi adaptor card (the internal WiFi is long gone). And I will have my Blackberry with the sparkpeople app. to track (which pretty much sucks).. but I will try. Like I started to say.. even if I track, I won't know how many calories/fat/protein etc. anything is and it may be pretty difficult to even guess. My only hope to staying in track IS to eat reasonable portions and get a lot of fruits and veggies. So in the hopes of NOT overeating, I am bringing a couple boxes of granola bars for the just in case munchies. Also, if I miss breakfast (as I am NOT a morning person), I will need to have one to make it through my class. Also bringing my Emerald's Cocoa Almonds. These are terrific, btw.. not like coated with chocolate, but someone have a light powdered coating of cocoa baked (?) into them.
I am not so worried about exercise, as there are some great places to walk - along the beach, of course, and a nature preserve sort of area to walk through. I did it once and it was a hard walk, about 2 hrs long, but I managed. It was really gorgeous and resembled a rain forest in some areas.
While I'm away I expect to get my period. Great, huh? Esp. for a beach vaca. Oh well! And I had this intuition I might get a cold, so I've packed Ricola cough drops and my Neti pot and a few saline rinses. Hope I'm wrong on that one!!
I had to pack a bathing suit and pulled it out and didn't dare try it for hours and hours. Just put it off.. Afraid it wouldn't fit or would look just awful. Finally tried it.. and had found another one slightly larger. Both fit me now! Yay! So I packed them both.. I don't look terrible in them and goodness knows, my husband got all hot and bothered with the fashion show. He may not show me much attention, but he sure did tonight.. and tried to get all steamy with me, but I was having none of it.. Anyhow..
He reminded me that the blue one was my Superhero outfit. I didn't even remember that til he said it. I used to work out in that one for 1-2 hrs and called myself Super Angel when I wore it. That was in 2006 before NIcholas was conceived - when I lost 60 lbs in 6 months. I was on FIRE with dedication and committment! I think I'm getting close to that point.. but when I started up last summer, I wasn't ready. I don't know why and I don't know what triggered me to start up again this time. I will have to meditate on that because I think it's important. It is not likely the last time I will need to get re-sparked.
So back to the bathing suits. I was afraid they might not fit right though I'm about the same size, but my body configuration has changed so much. I used to have a really big butt, but not much waist. Post baby now my rear is much smaller (comparatively) and I have a much bigger belly. Very weird. Good thing Lycra stretches.
Well, I have always been a big girl.. and a big lady and have never let that stop me from donning a bathing suit and enjoying water. It is my body and if someone else doesn't like it that is their problem, not mine. I am not going to stop living my life because of their hang-ups. (Yes, really my main goal in weight loss is better health - feeling better and more energy, not so much "looking better", though that is hopefully going to be part and parcel. Soooo.. I hope we get good enough weather one of my non-bloody days to go swimming. I certainly intend to hang out on the beach in my bathing suit, too.
So I hope to get in touch and be able to connect here via my laptop at night, but I am really not sure if I will be able to. If not, please try to reach me when I'm back.. or if you want to check on me, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org which I can get to via my phone.
Take care and I'll be back! (but if the week goes badly, I may need some help..)
Thursday, July 07, 2011
I had a very bad spark day..
I gave in to emotional eating.. and later to temptation.
I did fine all morning, but then after I got my son and we finished errands, I was pretty stressed out and had some Mint Fudge Brownie Breyer's Ice Cream.. which is not "light" or half fat, but regular - but only 4 grams of fat and about 140 cal. per 1/2 cup serving. I just had 1/2 cup then.
Later, Nicholas was fighting his nap and totally frustrating me by screaming out the window. I didn't cope well regarding food. I had 4 Dove chocolates (Peanut butter). A bit later when he finally fell asleep two hours later. I "rewarded" myself with more ice cream - a whole cup - half of the Mint Fudge Brownie and 1/2 cup of the Dark Velvet Chocolate. OMG>> Yummy!! But.. too much..
So then.. I packed a very healthy dinner for the baseball game. NO treats in it. While we were eating it, my son was given a huge piece of birthday cake. We weren't asked, just handed this. It was HUGE! I passed it to my husband and asked them to please bring a smaller piece for Nicholas. After awhile we realized no more cake was coming (it was the birthday for a kid sitting near us, not the cake for team's mascot we'd seen..) So I asked Josh to share it with us.. Not much was left.. about three small bites each for Nicholas and I. Great, so not SO bad, but then.. a friend gave Josh a package of Reese's Peanut Butter cups. I LOVE those! So he shared one with me. I split my one cup with him, which was the best I could do in resisting temptation.
So at that point I was sliding down the landslide full speed.. And then a game intern came to tell all of us sitting on the third base line that there was still birthday cake left - this was a homemade chocolate one. Oh NO!!! Oh Yeah, I did. I went and got a piece.. I picked the smallest one I could find, which was about 1/2 a slice. Very yummy, except for the skittles on top, which just didn't go. So that's the whole sordid tale. Seems to me that the sugar I had around 2 PM headed me down that landslide and between the cravings and the situations, it just got worse and worse.
To my credit, I did walk the dog when we got home, which was our second walk today (two for 20 mins.) I had not been walking at all about two weeks ago, so this is a big change for me. I haven't entered all my calories, but I don't think it will be pretty.
(And no, not PMS.. too early for that!)
Wednesday, July 06, 2011
I had a long and very hot morning, substituting at the Montessori School's summer camp. I was in the toddler room and my son was in the preschool room. I saw him a lot when we were outside, which was much of the time, though. I forgot my sunglasses and my big hat, so I felt pretty unprotected, despite a few shade tents. They did water play today with three kid's pools and the hose squirting water down the slide with a pool at the end, making a water slide.
I ate oatmeal with fruit before leaving in the morning and ate the lunch I'd packed with the kids (turkey sandwich on flat bread, strawberries, cheese stick, yogurt, chocolate almonds). After that, I had an Edy's fruit popsicle (40 cal.) _ ok, two of those. Craving more food, though. Oh, and this morning I checked my weight and was up 2 lbs, which makes no sense based on my food intake.. which is right in the pocket for the calories.. so I think I might be PMSing given how much I've been craving chocolate since last night. That would explain some of the exhaustion level, too. If I had the energy, I'd go make a chocolate pumpkin cake!
I am truly exhausted from the sun and the heat and the high activity going around the playground, changing toddler diapers, and helping some very fussy little ones deal with separation anxiety. I fell asleep in my chair, but Nicholas woke me up . He isn't resting, but he really needs to rest.
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
Just wrote a long blog and it disappeared. Hrm.
My son is in Montessori Summer Camp - first day. It is in the building we have church in and his classroom is the same classroom he has Religious Education class in. I work here as the Director of Religious Education during the church year. This is probably my last day working for the summer, but I am a substitute for the Montessori School, too.
Started the day right with steel cut oatmeal, strawberries, .5 banana, and a bit of milk. Packed lunch of turkey sandwich on flat wheat bread, carrot sticks, strawberries, and light cheese stick. Doing good so far.
Tired because I'm not used to getting up so early. I am not a morning person and I got used to sleeping in til 9:30 or later. So 7:15 is UGH!!
But here I am.. Back to work now. :)
Have a great day everyone!!! If you read this, please say Hi or some comment. Just let me know you're out there! Thx!
Tuesday, July 05, 2011
The morning was a challenge - big fight with my husband. It all started about money and overdue bills we were looking at, but erupted into insults and shouting. Then he decided he had to go to his office, on the holiday, to try to work. I was really upset. I expect him home on holidays to help with our son, who is quite a challenge a lot of the time. I got hysterically upset because he was just escaping and walking out again when he got upset, which he often does. He came back in to talk to me and I felt a bit better and drove him to work instead of him walking an hour in the high temps. and not getting anything done.
After that I needed to calm down (and stay out of the house because I'd have eaten everything naughty we had just because..) So I decided to go find the strawberry farm. It was about an hour's drive and I got lost several times despite my GPS. I had emailed the owner on the 2nd to ask when they were closing and if they had berries left and they told me they would be open through the fourth. So we went there.. And there was a sign saying "July 3rd - Closed for the Season, See You Next Year!" What?!! I called one of the numbers I had for the farm and got no answer. I could smell the strawberries! I went and took a few for my son who was dying for them..So then I tried the other phone number. The owner answered and I told her the situation about having gotten the email that they'd be open and it was a very long drive and we really wanted some berries. She said we could go help ourselves - pick a couple quarts on her. She felt badly about having given the wrong info (which it turned out came from her husband, which figures. heh).
So in the 90 degree temps Nicholas and I went picking berries. I have never done this before.. not strawberries. They are all ground vines and you have to get way down low to pick them. They were going by and hard to find, actually, so it took well over and hour to pick about 2 quarts. Nicholas didn't help much at all, but he ate a lot of berries - all the ones I put in his box, except about 5 that he saved, and all the ones he did pick - he ate. At least once he got there and started eating them, he didn't complain about it not having a playground or big sandbox or farm animals like the blueberry picking place has. And it was mighty nice to get to have them free. It was a lot of gas and driving to spend for a fruitless trip, so glad it wasn't fruitless!
OH, and as we were leaving I went to look for hand sanitizer in the car trunk - and found the missing COOLER!! OMG! I am embarrassed it was there all along! Well, I didn't dare eat the chicken or cheese sticks or yogurt which has been in the car overnight and all day.. But we did have some things to snack on - almonds and carrot sticks and a few cookies and hard fruit candies and a CapriSun juice for Nicholas. We were both hungry (despite all the strawberries) so was glad for the snack foods. Going on the trip did calm me down.
After we got home my son got more and more difficult. He really needed a nap. He also wanted to squeeze the strawberries by hand into juice, which I felt was a big waste and he had not picked enough himself to warrant that usage. His behavior got worse as the afternoon progressed.
::Pats self on back:: for not giving into emotional eating on such a challenging day. I did my walk (we got rained on again), and my strength training, and the strawberry picking, which was definitely exercise, but had to guess at the calorie burn and probably underestimated that.
Well, overall, just glad to have gotten through it. I coped. Some of it was fun. The strawberries are delicious! And only 43 calories per cup!
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