Wednesday, April 11, 2012
This is the family dog: Simon. His expressions are hilarious! Care to caption? I've heard some pretty funny ones so far on facebook.
Saturday, April 07, 2012
Does anyone watch Operation Osmin? I absolutely love it. I even stopped having a gym membership and do all my exercises outside now. It's effective and very healthy.
Friday, April 06, 2012
This blog is of a sensitive nature but is most important to write about. I recently came home to visit and I've been here for almost a month. Before I left Ohio to come back to Cali to visit, I had a business counselor tell me to start going to Alanon because of how I grew up in an environment of addiction and it can be seen in my addictive behaviors with food and money spending, etc. So this trip home has had my eyes more open than ever before.
I've observed how my dad, who is a recovering alcoholic of many years, is deteriorating right in front of my eyes. He has at least five major illness' but still doesn't care what he puts into his mouth. He shoots insulin into his stomach because he is diabetic, yet still eats cakes, cookies, chocolate and whatever else is in reach. My mother; although she doesn't have any major illness' of my awareness, she's in pain almost every day from digestion issues, back problems, etc. They have snacks lying all around the house and every day they eat fried, junky food.
A few weeks ago I decided to admit I have a problem. I Rene am an over-eater... wait... I've done that before. Okay, I tried admitting recently that I have a real addiction to sugar and that I was going to go cold turkey and get off it all together. Then I realized sugar is in everything! But I'll save that for another blog. The point is, coming home was like walking into a candy store... I went crazy for like the first week, then I started to feel sick. Then I started to see in front of my eyes, the effects of what would happen to me if I kept living like this.
Needless to say, this has been a bittersweet experience. I needed to come home to put this all into perspective. I don't want to grow up and get sicker and sicker... I want to continue growing up in health and wellness; reaching more and more health GOALS each year. I want to juice, eat foods that give me vitality, and be in shape! I want to go to sleep at night feeling joy and waking up feeling joy and gratitude for each day. And I want to give that to my future husband, future kids, future generations. Okay, okay.. maybe I'm getting too dreamy right now, but it's true!
I am definitely very sad to see my parents deteriorating before my eyes. Yesterday my mom was sitting in a chair and it broke. I knew it hurt, but I knew more than that, it was humiliating. She does try... and she knows that she too has an addiction to food and will keep eating it although it makes her sick. The only thing I could do was hold her and cry with her. The moment we had together was not of mother and daughter, but of two spirits - flesh and blood - empathizing with one another. I cried all that afternoon thinking of how hard it would be to watch my mom's health go downhill. I felt the reality that I could lose her and it hurt me so bad. I felt that if I don't truly make a commitment to change then I am no different than her or anyone else who is in a sense "suicidal" by what they put into their mouths every single moment.
I've been there, done that, still working through it. I've tried being the role model in the past but that didn't work for them either. It is hard to see this happening, but all I can do is do what I have to do for me now. I have to use this experience and take it back with me to Ohio and live my life knowing that I can make healthy decisions to prevent deteriorating in the future or I can accelerate my aging experience, thus leading me to what I am seeing right before my eyes right now.
God give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. - The Serenity Prayer
Sunday, May 01, 2011
I read an article that said some type of proven steps for actually getting the weight off and sticking to it. It made me shake my head because I know for a fact I have tried every self-help, every diet, every article you can think of and nothing helped me because I was not getting to the core root of he issue- my sugar addiction. Addiction. It is the elephant in the room for everyone who endures it.
It is two weeks in and I have seen milestones that I haven't seen in years. Clothes that I bought tight a few years ago are fitting lose now and socks that were giving me circulation loss lines on my calves come up to my knees now and fit comfortably. Everyday I see a difference and that is something that I can honestly say I have not experienced in YEARS!
Last night I was at a party and I imagined that the food would tempt me. I hadn't eaten much for dinner (partly because I don't have much food in the house and partly because I don't have the appetite that I used to), so I figured that when I got to the party I'd throw down. I knew I wouldn't eat any deserts or carb laden items, but I got there and was honestly not even the least bit hungry!! I drank water and kept hoping that I'd get hungry because I at least wanted a couple chips with 5 layer bean dip, but I swear the food didn't even make me budge!
It was amazing seeing all the people there who (none overweight by any circumstances) were crying over how they shouldn't eat this or that but they couldn't help it, etc. Food addiction is more than just a fat person's experience... it is a problem here in America in general. Everything revolves around food. When I wasn't eating, everyone was asking me why and telling me I should let go... I said I would love to but I am just not hungry. CRAZY ISN'T IT?!! Haha... this is amazing; I find myself changing every single day and it gets easier every single day.
Now the kicker is this; I finally did get a little hungry so I got a small plate and only ate about 5 chips, a couple tablespoons of 5-layer dip, some salsa, hummus, a tablespoon of spinach artichoke dip, 2 jalapeno boat thingys. It was literally a tiny sampler plate. Then I had two pieces of dove dark chocolate and some red wine. It was so satisfying and so delightful. This is what life should be like. Just enjoying it when you 'WANT' to, not just because you are addicted and you can't control yourself! I waited until I wanted to and only ate things that I knew would make me feel good. I bypassed all the bread pudding with sugar rum sauce, etc.. and I do mean ETC... That stuff wouldn't have made me feel any good at all... just unnecessary carbs and sugar for real.
Thank you for reading and I hope that if you are where I was a couple of weeks ago that you will be encouraged. Here is another pic of myself I took yesterday... I feel sexy and free!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Just look at this photo of me from last Thursday (4/21) to Yesterday (4/25) - CRAZY difference!!
I'm loosely following The Belly Fat Cure. It's still high protein and low carb, but it is way more flexible and I can eat fruit. I eat as much fruit/veggies as I want during the day and I have 85% dark chocolate everyday. I still go to fast food places & everything. I still eat potatoes and corn. I just cut out all processed junk, sugary snacks, complex carbs, etc. I don't miss any of it! When I want ice cream I make my own raw ice cream using avocado, banana, dark chocolate, and a little almond milk.
This is a trip!! Totally we have to find what works for us. I found my niche. Hope everyone else is doing great!
"green mustache" from my kale/broccoli/banana smoothie.
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