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WOW, hard to believe I haven't been out here since May...

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Time sure does fly when you are depressed!

Heard somthing the other day I thought was interesting. No matter how much weight you have to lose, and for me it's A LOT, don't focus on the total, focus on "Just 10". Just lose 10 pounds. I can do that. If I do that, it will make me healthier, no matter how much I weigh. I think I can manage to focus long enough to lose 10 pounds...210, a little too challenging, but 10...I just might be able to do that.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRSTNOEL 11/10/2010 8:58AM

    You can do it beautiful girl! emoticon

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DKELLEY35 11/7/2010 6:34PM

    That's the ticket, one step at a time. Just ten is really a lot. Keep moving and stay positive. You can do this. emoticon emoticon

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Could it be that I actually look forward to walking??

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Sitting around on Sunday and feeling blue...hey...I bet I would feel better if I went for a walk. SO I DID! I left the pity party and took the dog out for an hour. I felt so much better after. Hmmm...maybe there is something to this exercise thing everyone's been talking about. ;)

(Another positive Mother's day card from my 6 year old daughter read.. "I like to go on walks with Hunter and Mom." ~ I'm doing something right!)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAMMA_MIA1 5/11/2010 12:56PM

    That's awesome!! I'm starting to look forward to my walks as well!!

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FRSTNOEL 5/11/2010 10:11AM

    That is awesome sweets! And just adorable about Emily :)
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Not feeling deprived...

Thursday, May 06, 2010

I think this may be the first time that I have started making healthier choices in my foods and eating habits and have not felt like I was depriving myself or been mad and ugly about it. I am on week two of really considering what I am eating and buying and it feels good. I have also been walking, a lot for me.

I am feeling pride for the first time in a long time. I feel motivated and I look forward to my walks every day. I am taking my children and they love it! We are getting fit together and I just hope and pray that I can continue to set a healthy example for my kids so that never have to go through what I have with my weight.

Physically, I feel better already. Mentally I am clearer and emotionally I am getting there. I think I am finally starting to set my priorities the way they should be. I am done feeling sorry for myself.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRSTNOEL 5/6/2010 10:40AM

    Ok, My gorgeous friend...YOU are doing an amazing job!! I love hearing you are feeling better and that the kids are enjoying it too :) Keep it up honey-we can do it together!!

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Addicted to Fat

Thursday, April 29, 2010

I am addicted to eating. I love to eat, it makes me happy for a few minutes and then makes me depressed when I eat too much. I obsess over food and I eat compulsively. I know it's wrong and yet I can't stop. It is killing me and yet I can't control it.

Sound familiar? Sounds to me like any other addict...alcohol, drugs, even nicotine addicts. All of those addictions can kill you. The difference is a food addict can't stop eating.

Imagine if an alcoholic had to have three drinks a day, but no more. Wouldn't that make it much harder to beat that addiction. Or what if a drug addict had to shoot up every day, but only once no matter how bad their cravings were or how bad it made them feel. That's not going to help them recover.

I have to eat. Not eating is not an option. So the constant fight is not to "quit" but to control. I quit smoking. It wasn't easy, but now I can't even imagine smoking another cigarette. I didn't have to buy cigarettes, I didn't have to be with other people that were smoking and I didn't have to go anywhere that people were smoking...that made it easier to avoid. I fought my own impulses and cravings but didn't have to be continually tempted.

Food is everywhere. Everyone eats, it's all over TV all the time. I have to buy groceries, I have to feed my family and I have to eat. So why can't I just eat what my body needs and stop? That's what I have to figure out. How do you fight an addiction that you can't quit?

If I figure it out, I will let you know....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMMA579 4/29/2010 5:52PM

    Food is just a substitute for what you really want. The same way alcohol and drugs are just a means to get what someone really wants (popularity, attention, peace, numbness...). And like alcohol or drugs, for some people it gets out of control and takes over their life.

You can't solve the food issue until you find out what you really want and solve that. It's incredibly hard (and unappreciated) that you have to face food at every angle during your journey. But you can do it, one decision at a time. Each time you see something, you crave something, you face a choice - do I or don't I?

Do you want that food more than you want to be thinner? If yes, go for it. Just have a little - one bite, one piece, one taste. Holding back is just going to make you resent your plan and make you more likely to snap and go overboard. If you're not sure what you want, you don't really want the food. I used to drive for a hour, continuously changing my mind about which fast food I wanted, until I would end up going home and being miserable. It wasn't food I wanted, or I would have gone to that food first and bought it.

It's hard, it's miserable sometimes, and it's not fair. It's a disability. But it's one you can overcome if you work at it. You can do this. I know you can. But you have to believe, then you have to do.


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FRSTNOEL 4/29/2010 2:48PM

    Love you my darling friend! You can conquer this hon, you have the strongest spirit of anyone I know!!
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    I started avoiding the food I found the most addicting. Like fast food, which is convenient and so full of crap that it literally makes you want more. Another thing to do is avoid soda all together... caffeine is an addictive substance. If you find anything especially addictive try to just not have it. With me that's cheese, it's not bad for me in moderation but I know I wont just eat a serving. So I just avoid having it. Do I cheat every now and then? ofcourse it's life. But if you feel like you have no control over your eating because it's an addiction removing the parts that are addicting makes this process much easier.

So I suggest just taking some time to realize which foods you can eat and set down and which ones you just have to have even if you dont need or want it.

Good luck emoticon

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Out of Control

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Calling all control freaks out there! I am a control freak and my life has been spiraling out of control for a whole year now. Most of which was because of crazy things happening that I could not change or control in any way. For those of you who understand how difficut that is for a control freak, you know how I've been feeling. My eating has mirrored everything else that has been going on and I have been out of control myself. I have been depressed, anxious, moody, and your basic run of the mill crazy most days. I have been trying to eat my way out of this and that has only made me feel worse.

So I'm going to try another approach...Since I can't control ANYTHING else in my life BUT myself right now, how about I try and control myself?! Duh...sounds pretty simple doesn't it. Sounds like maybe I should have figured that out a while ago. Maybe instead of constantly feeling sorry for myself and eating at every pity party I throw, maybe, just maybe I will feel better if I take control of my eating and start moving more and maybe I will start to feel better about myself. Maybe if I take care of myself for a minute or two, some of the other things will fall into place on their own. And if they don't, maybe I won't care so much because I will be happy with me. Maybe?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FRSTNOEL 4/27/2010 4:19PM

    Hon-I know how crazy it can feel to be out of control. *YOU* can take charge of your life and make changes for you to feel better. I know you, I know you can-you are an incredibly strong woman who gives to everyone but herself. Now is the time to devote some attention to YOU and what you need.
Love ya!!

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JEANNE0724 4/27/2010 1:40PM

    from a fellow control freak, let me know how it goes! lol, but seriously, my therapist suggested picking 3 things in order of importance and working on one thing of each so you are not overwhelmed, so just a suggestion, good luck

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