ANDREAG89   23,003
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ANDREAG89's Recent Blog Entries

There Once Was a Girl, Who Had a Little Curl...

Friday, April 11, 2014

...right in the middle of her forehead.
And when she was good
she was very very good.
But when she was bad
she was HORRID.
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That sticks with me, this nursery rhyme I learned when I was a child.

It reminds me of ME. I am both very very good and HORRID, mostly now swinging from very very good in one week to HORRID the next. Very very good = tracking and staying within calorie range by eating a healthy variety of foods and getting in the proper exercise and losing weight to HORRID = not enough water, freggies are something foreign, sleeping very little because I stay up to watch TV in order to drown out too many thoughts, tracking intake has no place in my world, and exercise is only the forced walk of the pooch.

This week I went to HORRID and jumped off the healthy wagon again and into the muck to feed my anxiety with crap. At least now I can more clearly see when I am jumping off and hitting the dirt. So here's my approach this time around.

I have written down everything that is making me anxious, which really just centers on many personal and work activities and emotions that are on my calendar, so to speak. So I took a nearly daily approach to write down these events and how I will approach the planning for and execution of such events. I have a few more details to write down to finish my list with as clear a vision as I have right now.

I have two more major items to add to this two-month outlook:
1) A menu.
2) An exercise plan.

Adding a menu means adding a weekly dinner menu along with a grocery list and a plan for when to prepare the food. Beyond that, I'm going to add the kind of menu where I map out what I am going to eat for each meal and snack nearly every day so I can stick to that plan and not let my emotions and anxiety raid the cabinets.

The HORRID in me chickened out with my weigh-in this week (as seen on the right side of my home page). No point in seeing a failure on the scale when I know what I did to myself this week.

All of you have been so wonderful in offering advice for how to deal with anxious eating. And 68Anne told me to re-read my last blog when I am feeling a bit "off" just to remind me that I can recoup and do the right thing. So I thank you for all you do to support me and remind me that I can be successful. Thanks again for your support and ideas and advice. You all are AWESOME!

Peace Out,
AndreaG89 (aka Jeckyll & Hyde????)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KONRAD695 4/17/2014 12:09AM

    It does pay off. Even when you think all these ups and downs, the trials of Will against a sweet tooth. It will all pay off one day.
You will get the weight where you want it.
You will keep exercising.
You will succeed with maintenance.

All because you toughen yourself up yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Keep going at it. The goal is just down the road.

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WRITINGRUNNER 4/12/2014 9:28AM

    Wow! It's me too! I love that rhyme. You can do this. Everyone on here can, that's why we're hear, to take some action. Don' emoticon t forget to praise yourself for all the great days you have to

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MILPAM3 4/12/2014 6:09AM

  Sounds like you're making strides and implementing a helpful plan. How about not buying items that tempt you to fall of the wagon and become "horrid". I heard that rhyme from my mother every time she would pincurl my hair. Oh, but that was long, long ago.

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68ANNE 4/11/2014 8:35PM

    You have taken steps to figure out your weaknesses and deal with them.

Remember a woman is only helpless while her nail polish is drying

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KAREN608 4/11/2014 1:00PM

    I remember that rhyme! It is true, isn't it. We can be so good and so bad.

Writing things down and dealing with your stress - planning exercise and menu! All good.

Lately my main exercise is walking/jogging in place as I can do that anywhere and it destresses me. If you ever walk into a restroom and I am in there jogging in place don't be surprised. It is so easy to do anywhere and just a few minutes here and there adds up in a day.

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BLESSED2BEME 4/11/2014 12:43PM

    I so the same exact thing! You are not alone. ICEDEMETER is right, 'Progress not perfection". Interestingly enough that is the name of my Alanon group too.

Have you found that fitness time helps with your anxiety? It does with mine. Then I also end up wanting to get to bed on time better when I've put in my fitness time.

We are our own worst enemy - kick that enemy to the curb and tell her that she isn't welcome back!

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ICEDEMETER 4/11/2014 11:44AM

    "Progress, not perfection." Right? Right.

Sounds to me like you're making great progress - that idea of writing everything down and making a plan to deal with it all is pure genius! Just don't forget to plan in a bit of "spoil Andrea" time each day - whether to meditate, or relax, or whatever makes you feel good... You've earned it!

(And I *might* even forgive you for planting that nursery rhyme in my head - you KNOW that it'll be on repeat all day....ARGHHH!)

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Just Stick With It - Lesson Learned?

Friday, April 04, 2014

I hope so.

March was my "feel sorry for myself" month. For whatever reason. No point in dwelling (after all, I had 10+ years of "feel sorry for myself").

I gained a bit of weight in March, stopped tracking food, didn't care to exercise much, ate poorly, broke a good streak of water intake and freggies intake. I must have been sick in the head to forget that I really can get healthy again. Think of it as a 31-day "mind flu."
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So this week each day I tracked my intake, got all my water, got at least 5 freggies in me, and stuck to 1200 - 1400 calories. And it paid off. The bloating went away (that's why my loss this week looks like such a big chunk), the energy came back, the hope came back. And once again, a thanks to my SparkFriends for sticking with me!
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My lesson, that I hope I remember on those days and weeks when I want to dive into the "feel sorry for myself" abyss of crapfood, that I have to renew my commitment to be good to me, that being good to me is a lifelong journey that doesn't end when certain numbers on the scale are seen (or not).

I hope you all are sticking with it, no matter what is going on in your life that makes you want to dive into food for comfort. Don't let the abyss suck you in forever. Make one small change and get back on track. You'll feel better for it emotionally, spiritually, physically.

Peace Out,
AndreaG89

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RACEWELLWON 4/9/2014 10:35AM

    I can relate !! I am getting back now as you read - sending a goodie - with info - Hugs K emoticon

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WRITINGRUNNER 4/7/2014 6:13AM

    emoticon I am constantly pressing the rest button. But we will get there! Good luck for this month. You can do it!

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WHYTEBROWN 4/6/2014 9:46PM

    emoticon I'm happy that you're back on track. I've having bouts of that mind flu myself but it's time to join you in first getting back to it and then sticking with it!! emoticon emoticon

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68ANNE 4/4/2014 9:49PM

    Remember to stop back and look at the blog next time you feel a sabotage coming on
You've got this

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TRACY-BEARSFAN 4/4/2014 9:20PM

    Its hard changing life-style habits. That's what they are really, something we have done since we were young, and so easy to do. Now we have to work harder and relearn some things, but in the end we will benefit from them. Stick to it! Good job! emoticon

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KAREN608 4/4/2014 4:36PM

    Old habits are hard to break, but the first good new habit is sticking with the plan no matter what garage life hands us!

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ABAKER34 4/4/2014 12:48PM

    Thanks for the reminder, great blog! My fall off point is always the weekends for me, I'm making the commitment to stick within my calorie range this weekend. What's important is that even though you had a bad month last month, you stayed with your support and now you are back on track for the long haul. You are doing great!

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ICEDEMETER 4/4/2014 12:34PM

    I think most of us dive in to the abyss every now and again, and this is a good reminder that all it takes is one small step after another to climb out of it...

Now we just have to remember that! emoticon

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BLESSED2BEME 4/4/2014 12:28PM

    I've tried to 'stick with it' for four years now and every month it is the same thing...back to old habits. But I'm still here trying so I guess that counts for something.

You are a prime example of why sticking with it works! emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Excitement...

Monday, March 31, 2014

No long drawn-out entry here, but after a wasted March of making excuses and showing a slight gain of weight (instead of losing 6 lbs - see right side of my home page), I've opted to make a quick list of what is going on this month:

Lose 8 lbs. And mean it this time.
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Exercise plan: walk dog daily, do yard work, do the 40 min "Insanity" workouts, stretch.
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Eating plan: 1200 - 1400 calories daily, with all veggies and water to start the streak over.
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3 birthday celebrations (one of them - my daughter turns 16!)
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1 Easter celebration
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Baseball practices and games, school musical, drivers' ed, possible job for my daughter
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Possible work travel at least once if not twice
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Building anxiety at the end of the month due to helping Mom move, seeing my Dad, and bringing some furniture and other things to our house (Mom lives 2.5 hrs away). This also means moving things around my house, getting rid of stuff...all welcome, so I just need to deal with this stress (both good and bad stress) by doing something other than eating.
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The challenge is now with my brother and my husband to lose 8 pounds this month. The winner gets a $10 iTunes credit from the 1st runner up. Now that hubby has entered the challenge, I'm not sure how we'll split up the goodies. Either way, we all win. Wanting that ticker to keep moving into bigger weight-loss numbers...

Peace Out,
AndreaG89

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SUEPERWOMAN 4/2/2014 9:26PM

   
You got this, babes, even seeing Dad again.

Love you, Sue

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ABAKER34 4/1/2014 11:15AM

    April is going to be a great month for you, and friendly competition with you brother and husband is great motivation, what's better than to beat the guys! You've got this!

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WRITINGRUNNER 4/1/2014 8:54AM

    emoticon emoticon

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68ANNE 3/31/2014 9:45PM

    I do hope you find this month to be easier to achieve your goals. It is very frustrating when things don't moving in the right direction. Keep your goals in front of you and strive toward a part of them every day! I believe in you!

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BLESSED2BEME 3/31/2014 4:52PM

    emoticon emoticon

You have a good plan. Just remember, One Day or even One Step at a Time!

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KAREN608 3/31/2014 4:25PM

    Naw, I think #2 and #3 ought to pay $5 each. But what do I know?

Sounds like a lot going on in your life for this month.
But you are determined.
May you win this challenge over the guys.
What if you all lose the weight? is the first one to get there the winner?

What if all lose that but one loses even more?
Why am I asking all these questions?
I so need a nap.

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UPPITYANN 3/31/2014 12:06PM

 

I wish you great success.


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My Wasted March

Sunday, March 30, 2014

As much as I believe in "live only for today; focus only on today" it's amazing at how quickly I am able to justify giving in to bad habits when I am not feeling "up" to being kind to myself.

Day after day in March I made excuses for eating poorly, not exercising properly, not drinking enough water, regardless of all of you friends picking me up and checking on me. I'd do really well one week then dive into my selfish abyss the next. So the 6 lb goal and challenge was ultimately me just looking at it and saying, "Nah - I'd rather be unhealthy." Granted, it never came through in words, just actions.

Emotions ran rampant, and my impatience with myself kicked in and I semi-gave-up when I saw a picture of myself, a day when I was feeling like I looked pretty good. I stared at the picture and thought (and pardon my acronym) "WTF?!?!?!" rolls, rolls, rolls...

My positive side said, "Imagine what that pic would have looked like before you lost the 14 pounds." So there is THAT. And a more positive is when my husband, being sweet, said I was "wasting away." I told him, "Drop in the bucket. I've only lost 14." He said, "I'd love to have lost 14." Okay...getting head on straighter...

I will weigh in tomorrow, to what will be ugly and may even be a weight-gain to where I was prior to 31 days ago. Not proud, and I am glad my workout challenge buddy (ABAKER34) is resolved to do well by herself and, quite frankly, kicked butt.
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My April challenge is with my brother, with whom I am going on vacation this summer (our families = 9 of us). He has 2x as much weight to lose as I do, and we are both trying to lose some weight before this summer.

The challenge is an 8 lb weight-loss challenge, with the winner getting a $10 iTunes credit from the 1st runner up. As we know, either way we both win if we lose...

So my goal is to be good to me, every day, in April. This doesn't mean I won't eat birthday cake (3 celebrations this month), or pizza (during one birthday celebration), but it does mean that I will be a better planner to allow myself some higher calories on those days coming up and still see a fat-loss on the scale.

Thanks for not giving up on me. You guys are awesome, and I am (once again), humbled by your wonderful and unwavering support.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ABAKER34 3/31/2014 10:05AM

    It's a challenge for all of us, what's awesome about you is that you are still here getting your support and pushing on. My struggles are my weekends with my family, for some reason I seem to equate that with eating. We go out and runaround, and I'm like...bring on the fried foods! When I'm at work I can block myself from unhealthy foods, but at home on the weekends it's like a gorge fest. I love that you are having a friendly competition with your brother, remember, girls rule and boys drool, go get him! emoticon

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KAREN608 3/30/2014 9:16PM

    Ah, photos. Same here. Last week photos were given out of the week before, and the way I was sitting ... double chin roll that you would NOT believe. I normally try to sit up straight, and it looks so much better. Slouching... well ... ooh no.

But then I thought, well THIS is a before picture. Just watch me.
I will NOT let that double chin live there forever.
This is going to take time but I will beat this, one day at a time.

I understand struggling. But the main thing is to keep challenging yourself, and sounds like you are. Good for you!

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68ANNE 3/30/2014 5:49PM

    I've struggled this month with the trying to talk myself out of eating right and doing my fitness. I've mostly kept at it because of everyone here and my 100 day challenge. You can do this!

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KONRAD695 3/30/2014 4:50PM

    There is all kind of stuff I could say, but I don't think there is anything you don't already know. Most of the things we've learned we just don't use. I fight every day with my weight, even though I can run 6 miles a day. If I actually took care of myself, I'd run that 6 miles every day and never have a problem again.

Everyone who has figured it says the same thing- small steps, long long long term, and don't focus on the bumps in the road. I keep trying, and I keep faltering.

Maybe one day, one of us will get it. Then we can telepath the other the secret. Until then, let's just keep pushing along the best we can. And the "Best We Can" is better than "what we've done".

You keep pushing, I'll keep pushing. emoticon

emoticon Konrad

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JACRBUNCH 3/30/2014 4:15PM

    Good luck on your challenge. emoticon

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March Goals

Friday, February 28, 2014

Edited 3/17:
So far, not doing well on focusing and committing to my goals. What I have done - some paper shredding, some taxes (yes, February's goal), and no morning workouts. Opted to get frenzied in anxiety due to Dad's condition instead of dealing with it the right way so gained and lost 3 pounds for the first two weeks of March. Ultimately, I'm starting at "0" as of today. So let's re-align the reality:

"NEW Weight Loss" Goal (meaning quit re-gaining and re-losing the same poundage): -6 lbs at least; hoping for -8 lbs
Personal Goal: Get paperwork into some organized fashion. Dedicate not 15 minutes each night, but 5 - 10 minutes 3x a week.
Workout Goal: Aim for at least 5 MORNING workouts this month and 1000 fitness minutes.
Sleep Goal: 3x a week in bed by 10:00 p.m.

Goals & Activity for Mar 15 - 21: Lose a new set of weight this week, hoping for 2 pounds, would be awesome if it was 4 (the bigger I am, the faster it falls off when I eat right and at the minimum number of calories of 1200).

Saturday - Danced for 35 minutes, stretched for 10. (~100 - 200 cals over)
Sunday - No activity. (~800 - 1000 cals over)
Monday - [hair cut at 7:45 pm]
Tuesday - [baseball practice pm]
Wednesday - [church 7 - 8:30 pm]
Thursday -
Friday -

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WRITINGRUNNER 3/10/2014 6:06AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KONRAD695 3/5/2014 7:43PM

    I'm guessing you're having a great week. emoticon emoticon
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BLESSED2BEME 3/3/2014 6:24PM

    emoticon

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KAREN608 3/3/2014 9:27AM

    Track everything and keep moving!

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ABAKER34 3/3/2014 8:37AM

    That's a great plan for March, I love the way you've thought out your challenges. I have my son's birthday party this month which is going to be a challenge...pizza and cupcakes...ughhh...

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SONGWRITER8 3/3/2014 7:21AM

    Great plan ! You can do it !

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68ANNE 3/1/2014 7:46AM

    And you will tell yourself to chew each and every piece of popcorn as slowly and thoroughly as if it were . . . . . um

the slowest thing to eat as possible, lol

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KONRAD695 3/1/2014 2:03AM

    You might not play softball, but you will knock the crap out of this week! emoticon

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BETRHO48 2/28/2014 10:56PM

    emoticon I love the way you mapped out your week. What a great (detailed) plan. You've even thought of upcoming challenges.

Keep up the great work. You will get where you want to go.
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