A Big Decision Made...... and I am scared and excited!

Monday, May 06, 2013

I have a big announcement to make, one that is just to inform, I am NOT looking for any negativity. When you read this please understand that I just spent the last 3 months going through a very comprehensive clearance procedure that included 10+ doctors appointments, many with specialists such as a cardiologist, a pulmonologist, psychiatry, dieticians, surgeons, etc. This is not a decision I made on a whim, not at all!

I am going to have Laparoscopic Sleeve Gastrectomy surgery on JULY 15th!! There is no foreign object going inside of me and no "by pass". My stomach will be reshaped into a banana sized sleeve looking shape (& size). My first year will be all about a 500-800 calorie diet, protein based with vitamin & mineral supplements. I will be working towards a 1200 calorie diet that I will maintain for the rest of my life. I am hoping to lose 100 pounds but have learned, through watching my mother that my goal decision will be made when I get closer to the number- so it may be 85 pounds it may be 100. I have met ALL criteria to be a candidate for this surgery, and I have a wonderful support system of family (immediate and not), friends and the Center for Weight Loss Surgery at Danbury Hospital.

I hope there is a place for me at Sparkpeople for this type of weight loss. I have read some negative posts from people stating it was "the easy way out" and other condescending remarks. But I have to tell myself those remarks come from people that have no idea what being diagnosed as a clinical morbid obese person is like, and I am a morbidly obese person that has dieted over and over again- and nothing comes off. And who have no knowlege about the procedure or process, it is NOT an easy way out- a statement that screams ignorance to me. I have other health issues that will benefit greatly from weight loss, I have thyroid disease, spondylosis, and clinical depression. All of these drag me down, and they all could soon cause other physical conditions that will require medication that I don't want to be on.

My Mom had a gastro by pass (bariatric) surgery on January 29, 2012 and is down 99 pounds... she looks amazing and best off she FEELS amazing. She is off all medications (except her vitamins), and added years to her life. She is 70 years old.. and has a whole lot of time in front of her now. She taught me every thing I need to know about this new "lifestyle" I am about to embark on- she has been the BEST role model. I will not be giving up anything but carbonated beverages, everything else I can have in little bits or moderation. I have alot of behavioral work to do, and I will do it. I will be going to group therapy and have a great therapist available to me if I feel I really need to work on my head game through this process!

I will need alot of support! I have already started to try and make some cognitve behavioral changes and will practice some of the new life style changes now that I have my surgery date. I will NOT lie, I am sure I will be having a few "last suppers" as I say good bye to some foods and beverages for a while. I have Bermuda to have my last hurrah in-- and I will. But inbetween I will try my best to behave like a post op patient, for some practice.

I have a couple people to thank -- for being supportive in this decision making process alone. My Mom, my friend Dan, and Susan and Kevin- they have their own personal connection to weightloss surgery and have availed themselves to me- I wouldn't be as confident with my decision without these people... they have my heart!

I will use Sparkpeople to log food and exercise when I am post op. I always have felt that accountablity to be so valuable!! I will use the Center for Weightloss Surgery at Danbury Hospital for all of my questions and will respect and abide by all of their guidelines.

I am so happy to finally have my date- and to go public with this-- for me that is the start of my new journey. I will post before pics- in July and blog when I can to keep anyone interested updated. I am hoping the blogging will also help me document this first year out.

Here's to a happier, healthier ME!

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Week 3 March 26, 2012 Getting the mindset of a loser!

Monday, March 26, 2012

So I went to my sister's place for the weekend, and this usually is a disaster but ONLY because my sister and I like our wine and our dining out! BUT this visit was different. Not only did we eat better BUT we went on a long walk IN THE RAIN! We were determined. We talked a lot about how we have to move and make adjustments when we get together.... Like we HAVE TO exercise if we are going to have our wine, and our desserts. We just ate smaller portions, and made healthier choices like Turkey Burgers. And when we brought desserts to someone's dinner party we bought the smallest cakes- so when we cut them up we all got a taste but did NOT eat a full portion or even a half portion. This is the mindset of a loser!!

This week I will keep doing what I am doing... making good food choices, cooking sparkpeople recipes and drinking water, lots of water!! And keep myself moving... biking today and walking tomorrow!

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Week 2 March 19, 2012 Blog... What will I do this week?

Monday, March 19, 2012

So last week I tried to do everything I listed, my water, having healthy choices in my house, cooking 3 x from Sparkpeople recipes and eat a replacement meal bar shake once a day.

I got most my water in, fell short 2days during the week and I cooked Spicy Mini Turkey Meatloaves, and a Parm Encrusted Chicken on a bed of Spring Mix and then last night I did Slower Cooker Chicken Salsa. I think I did a bar or shake 4 times out of the 7 days (that was the hardest to pull off!).

I did 10 miles on the incumbent bike, and I walked 60 minutes on Tuesday and then 45 minutes on Wednesday. SO I got SOME exercise in. I logged my food in on the days I exercised.

I did not lose weight but I did not gain weight!

This week I will again focus on the same steps. Water, healthy options available in my house (that I shopped for yesterday), replacement meals, more spark recipes and exercise when I can fit it in. This week I will add cutting back on wine... I LOVE my wine- but it does not serve ANY nutritional benefit and on occasion it can cause me to over eat like going for seconds when I am not hungry. That is my tweak for the week.

I can do this, it isn't rocket science- nor is it denying me a thing.

What will my roadblocks be this week? Stress, it is always there- work is busy crazy and I feel like I can not please everyone and I can't get to all those that I work with that may need my help. Besides the stress I always feel seems to be a staple in my life (all of our lives) I don't have any other specific worries or roadblocks. That is good!

So I will tackle week 2 with determination. I am shooting for some sense of control, like in Sparkpeople's plan- the first few weeks are about control. Weight loss will come once I am consistent with what I need to do to gain control so I can kick my efforts into high gear.

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Monday March 12 2012- ALL OF MY DUCKS ARE IN A ROW!

Monday, March 12, 2012

All my ducks are in a row! I have gone to a couple of doctors, have had blood drawn, even had a procedure done that I have been putting off for years- in preparation to get into high gear for losing weight. I am VERY healthy, great blood pressure, fine cholesterol, no precancerous issues, ...... but my chart (and I did see it) says MORBID OBESITY (I have 70+ pounds to lose)... OUCH! AND then my doctor tells me, let me take some pressure off of you, "forget exercise for now"... let's just focus on your food intake/portion control. DID SHE REALLY SAY THAT??!! She wants me to substitute two meals with replacement meal bars or shakes and eat a well balanced dinner... and NO EXERCISE??!! Kiss of death for me, I have to pretend I did NOT hear that at all! I will NOT forget exercise, I just can't. Since January 9 (my last blog) I have been walking, riding an incumbent bike and doing the elliptical-- not very regularly but about 2 x a week-- the eating has been questionable. So yes I will be focusing on eating, but I can not stop the moving-- it keeps me off my antidepressants (and I like being off meds!).

So this is what I am gonna do.... Monday is blog day- and I will blog what it is I am willing to do to lose weight for the week ahead of me and Thursday is weigh in day- that is how I will stay accountable. I have tons of healthy choices in my house for everyone (and I have to keep up with that!)- and I plan on cooking 3 x week from Sparkpeople recipes. I will work hard EVERY day to get all of my water in. I can not eat two replacement meals-- I have done that before and it doesn't make me feel well BUT I will eat one bar or shake a day for ONE meal or snack (usually after work I need something) and then cook healthy meals for dinners. I will exercise when I can- I will make great effort to do so- even if it s just a 20 minute walk. If I journal my food, that is a bonus- right now I am focus on the above basics!

Let's hope Day ONE turns into Day 174 (days until my sister's wedding)... AND LET'S GET MORBID OBESITY OFF OF MY CHART!!! I WILL have gastric by pass surgery if I can not, this one last time - lose the weight and keep it off... If I am at MORBID OBESITY status by 50 I will have the surgery.... I have 5 years to lose and maintain! I can do it- My mom had the surgery and it has NOT been easy-- it is NOT the easy way out, it is a total lifestyle change. I would really like to avoid the surgery BUT will not wait until 70 to do it (My Mom is 69 and finally did it- I am SO SO PROUD of her-- she is so determined to live a pain free life, a full active life and she will!!). I will not have her do this in vain, I will watch her and learn from her and try my hardest to avoid the surgery. She is very inspiring, VERY!! I do this for ME and for HER!

Let's begin!

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Starting back up hurts and is the ultimate eye opener!!

Monday, January 09, 2012

SO first I did walk the mountain yesterday-- over an hour walk but only 3.25 so for many this is a snails pace BUT I had hills... and I have not walked for fitness in a VERY long time.. since April, I know that is horrendous but it is the truth. I was sore from the get go!

Today I could only walk on the treadmill (not my fav) and did 35 minutes- not stellar but I did it and it is a start. My shins are KILLING me - but that will get somewhat better (can't get new sneaks yet- soon though). The shins got me the most- so I had to slow down the pace some but not slower then yesterday's sad sad sad 22 minute mile.

Then I remembered-- I really need to take measurements as that was the BEST indicator for me and my body changes the last go around. All I have to say is OMG.. I really made a mess of me, I really did. I had my measurements for April logged and DAMN I made a mess of things. But I can not wallow I can only move forward. I am very proud that I did NOT cry -- and jumped right on the treadmill after that horrifying activity. I's got work to do!!!

I am only blogging today because I am proud I didn't cry and say "Frig It" (I cleaned that up!)... I took my lumps and I am moving forward.

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