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Going to pencil myself in for some much needed me time!!!

Wednesday, February 01, 2012

I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit by a truck. I partly blame it on the piece of cake I ate yesterday at the office birthday celebration and partly because I only get 5 hours of sleep a night during the week. Unhealthy I know, but if anyone knows how to put more hours in the day please let me know. Everyone at work and in my family have been passing around some sort of intestinal virus also, so if I don't find a way to get more rest I know I will end up with it and I just don't have enough time in my schedule to deal with being sick!!!

So....I have decided that I am going to set aside a big part of Saturday for just me! Some much needed and overdue ME TIME!!!!! And if anyone at my house doesn't like it then they will just have to get over it. Period. End of story. No negotiations allowed. I deserve to be nice to myself and I plan on doing just that! Kids are all going to visit family so my schedule is all clear and I am going to take full advantage of it. The DH has to work too!!! the house all to myself!!!

I haven't got it all planned out just yet, but I would love to get a full 8 hours of sleep. Then I might go for a nice quiet walk to get some fresh air, although if the weather turns bad again I might just have to crank up the stereo and dance as silly as I want throughout the house.

If anyone has any suggestions feel free to send them my way! It has been a while since I have had some me time and not had chores, errands, or other obligations that cut my time short.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NEELIXNKES 2/2/2012 9:05AM

    Pamper yourself by getting a new style or updating your color or just doing a home manicure. I opt for the read a good book snuggled on the couch or in bed but that is just me emoticon

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THINRONNA 2/2/2012 12:45AM

    I love it! How great....I am so glad you are seizing your opportunity for some "me" time. I like to soak in the tub if I ever get the time...and read a good book....and drink tea. Have fun and let us know what you do!

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Whirlwind of emotions today

Sunday, January 29, 2012

So today I reached the 4 pound mark. I was so happy that I did 90 minutes of cardio. This is the first time I have had this kind of self motivation work for me. Just celebrating the little things. WooHoo!!!!

Then the brakes slammed on as I told my DH about the greatness of my morning. His reply was much less than I had expected. Actually it was the exact opposite of what I wanted and needed. I got the "And...your point is? Am I supposed to jump up and down every time you lose a pound? That's just stupid." reply. Then he thought it would be funny to give me a list of things to do while he is working this evening and then ask "can your fat ass get that done?"

Are you kidding me?!?!?

As if that wasn't enough he proceeded to tell me that four pounds in 3 weeks is nothing because he has lost 7 and hasn't even tried. I tried telling him that men and women lose differently and he just doesn't believe that. And while I am on my rant, I might as well point out that I don't like to work out when he is home because he makes fun of me then tells me I better do more cause it isn't working.

In one day I have gone from happy and hopeful to sad, depressed and angry. I know that I shouldn't let what others say bother me so much, but its my husband and if there is one person other than myself that I expect to be supportive it is him. I don't think I am asking too much.

Now to spend the rest of the day sticking to my plan and not letting myself get off track. Tomorrow is another day and at least I decided to blog instead of drowning my sorrow in sweets like I used to do. One step at a time, I will get through today and each day after that no matter who is behind me or not.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THINRONNA 1/31/2012 8:07AM

    Don't let him get you down!!! Keep at this Amy. You are right...he does not get it. You have every right to jump up an ddown for four pounds...heck you can jump up and down for one pound and should! Please don't lose your focus because of this ...keep blogging and let us support you. You are worth it and you will do this! emoticon

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MY_YEAR_IS_2012 1/30/2012 10:16AM

    You can do this. I know you can.
Like AUNT63 said let it bounce off of you.
At least you have the mindset to take one day at a time even though your emotions are on a rollercoaster right now. Keep yourself focused on you. Four punds is WONDERFUL. Since Dec 17 I have lost 10 myself. There are weeks that I gain though.
Mabey the next time you hare your sucess with him (make a mental note to do so) tell him if he puts you down again that one of your reasons for doing this is for more limbedto in the bedroom (even if is is a little white lie). I have a feeling that he might change his tune. LOL

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AUNTB63 1/30/2012 8:21AM

    Don't let anyone and I mean anyone ever take the power you have in becoming healthy away from you. YOU are worth the effort. I don't know how you can just tune him out.....YOU are strong and could try just letting what he says bounce off of you.
Please continue to post your feelings.........WE love you and are here for you...NO MATTER WHAT......Hang in there...we care! emoticon

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TRUCKERWIFE2 1/29/2012 6:12PM

    I've heard others whose spouses were less than supportive especially at first. When I started this my husband expected me to lose a few pounds and gain them back + like I usually did. I was pretty hot when mine gave me the "what am I supposed to do Jumpand down" routine. He's not quite as negative as yours as he doesn't comment on my weight no matter how heavy I've gotten. I find this a safe place to share my victories and when I don't do well. My husband has come around and is now one of my biggest supporters. Yours may come around too as you shed those pounds. He may also show his pride in non-verbal ways like paying more attention to you in public like mine does now. You are doing so awsome! 90 min of exercise in 1 day is fantastic and I hope you keep it up.

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MISFITFLYNN1 1/29/2012 5:59PM

    I couldn't agree more with the poster above! You should be over the moon about your sucess!! That is huge, I have been working my butt off for 3 wks and still haven't reached 4lbs! BE PROUD!! Men can be such JERKS when the they want to and even sometimes when they think they are just trying to be funny! I am so happy you came here to vent instead of diving into the sweets, such another huge accomplishment! I think you are doing amazing and I can't wait to see what you do next :)

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1DRWOMAN 1/29/2012 5:31PM

    OMG! Iam sorry that your man doesn't understand how important this is to you. I want to smack him upside the head. At least now you know you shouldn't share things with him...share them with someone who is supportive and encouraging and who believes in you and every single important step. You could try having a conversation with him telling him how much that hurt your feelings, etc...but not sure if he's ready. The BEST thing would be to get happy and stronger and leaner and not say anything. let him wonder who this ass-kicking woman is and where did she come from!!!! Some men feel if their women get hotter that they'll leave ' maybe he's just insecure as well as a male boob.

Now..onto more important things...YOU! You keep going! You be proud of every single achievement no matter how big or small. It all adds up. I know it's hard, but don't let one negative poo poo person ruin your mood and progress. You are better than that. As you gain more confidence and self esteem, you will discard all those poo poo people from your life. It makes things SOOOO much brighter, happier, and lighter and in return makes you all those things as well. Stress and sadness hamper weight loss...Be positive! Surround yourself with positive people and things as much as possible. Read positive books and listen to music that gets you moving and makes ya' boogie :)
And Find your support network. Someone who LOVES you, supprts you, encourages you but also holds you accountable and doesn't sabotage you because of their insecurities and/or jealousy. Befriend someone you admire and look up to. :)

Holler if you need anything.

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Time to adjust my goals and find more focus in my plan

Friday, January 20, 2012

I am realizing that I have a long list of goals that I want to achieve, but I want to achieve them all at once. That isn't working so well for my right now. This is the one thing I don't want to end up in chaos. It is too important. And if I continue to try to make all of my changes at once I might end up in worse shape than before.

So, I have decided to look at all my goals and slim them down and at the end of each week I will look back and see if I have made enough progress to add another goal. In my time away from Spark People there was one goal that I did keep up with and that was to drink at least 8 glasses of water a day. That one will stay. So the first goal I am going to focus on is eating enough protein because I have a hard time reaching that goal and it seems like an easier one to reach. After that I am going to focus on my iron intake.

My exercise goals will also be scaled back a little because I have found myself not reaching my goals and getting frustrated. This way I can get the benefit of reaching my goal and can gradually move it back up to where I would like it. It just seems that the time I was away has made unable to do the same I did when I left so I am going to have to build myself back up gradually.

I am one of those people that is always running in different directions to end up getting nowhere in the end. With five kids it is just a way of life...dishes, laundry, PTO, work, helping with homework, breaking up fights, etc. all to wake up the next day and do it all over again...usually after getting only about half the sleep I should be getting. This seems to be the only area in my life where I can cut back on some of the chaos and feel rewarded for it. So, that is exactly what I am going to do. I am putting on the breaks and I am going to focus on one small change at a time and I will only add another when I feel I can still continue to keep up with the other changes. It is the only way I will not get overwhelmed again.

I will succeed this time!!!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ABLACK2011 1/25/2012 8:01AM

    Oh, Amy...I can relate. I have four biological children...ages 17, 15, 8, and 6 weeks plus my step-children ages 9, 8, and 6 who are with us every other weekend and one evening during the week. I get such minimal things done every day and to a mother who is used to go-go-going all day's hard for me to "be tied down" with an infant. I get frustrated if I can't get my exercise in on the treadmill, frustrated when I can't sit down and right my blog at the end of the day or input my nutrition, etc. I'm trying to prioritize taking care of my needs for exercise and nutrition, but sometimes feel like my family is out to sabotage me even though I know that's not true. I also tend to want to do too much! Reading your blog reminds me that I'm not the only one who struggles with it all. Thank you for sharing. Let's you and I focus on today...Amen? Will focus on tomorrow...tomorrow. emoticon

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AUNTB63 1/22/2012 10:21AM

    Yes YOU can do this....I don't have as hectic a life as you, but I did come up with the same conclusion with goals set (and not reached). I am working on two goals right now and so far have a 21 day steak going.....when I feel that these are a second nature to me I will add one/two new goals. Although in the past I was able to do it all at once and succeed I really feel most of those old habits never really had a chance to be changed (mentally) so this time slow is my motto, one day at a goal at a time. WE can do this. It may take longer to release this excess fat, but think of all the healthy changes we will accomplish on the way. emoticon Each day comes with more strength knowing we are doing our best.

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Recovering from some small slip ups

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

So the other night my husband thought it would be very sweet to come home and make me some delicious food that he learned to make at work. I chose to indulge a small bit and share it with him instead of me eating the whole thing like he had planned. I knew it would taste great but as I watched him making it I was doing mental calorie calculations in my head. After the buttery oil and fatty meat and gooey cheeses I thought I would have a heart attack just looking at it. It was very tasty but so rich and when I was finally done eating my half we stayed up playing cards until way past my regular bedtime. I was completely unprepared for the 3 days of sluggishness to follow.
There are a few positive things that have come from those slip ups. First, I can see a physical difference depending on what foods I choose to put into my body. All foods are not created equal and what I used to eat just doesn't cut it anymore. Secondly, my sleep patterns are way too important to me. I am not a fun person to live with when I don't get at least 7 hours of sleep (I prefer 8).
For the last few days I have felt like I have been wading through mud while half asleep in a foggy state. Although these could be considered set-backs, I am chalking them up at learning experiences. I know how well I felt before that night and I feel the difference. From here on out I can look at the choices at hand and remember how I felt for skimping on sleep for just one night and eating the wrong foods at just one sitting and hopefully it will help to deter me in the future.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYHOLLIDAY 1/18/2012 8:45PM

    They are not slip ups if we can learn from them. It is so easy to think negatively when we deviate from our plan, but we are human and these things happen so the best thing we can do is stay positive and learn from these slip ups so that we can make better choices next time.

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ABLACK2011 1/18/2012 6:18PM

    I love how you said that you are not counting your deviations from your plan as slip-ups, but rather as learning experiences. I'm gonna use that one.

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Spreading the Spark

Thursday, January 12, 2012

I have printed out the fliers from the site to put with the other informational resources we have in my office. Since I work in a private outpatient mental health facility I thought it was a very good place to reach others that could use the tools here at SparkPeople. I have given a verbal explanation of the site to some of our providers so they can check it out and pass it on to their patients also. It really feels great to pass the tools on to others and the more I talk about it the more excited I get about using it myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GOIN4GR8 1/22/2012 7:30PM

    That was a great idea. I think you're right--the more you use Spark, the more it does for you.


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