Monday, April 01, 2013
That has always been the running joke between my steps sons and me since I married their dad. It has become a term of endearment actually, until now.....
The trials of being a step parent don't seem to end. The boys are soon to be 25 & 26 during April and until now I have never felt or been treated like the "EWSM-Evil Wicked Step Mom"
It's hard to be in the middle of a husband you love and his grown children who prefer to spend mothers day at our house vs their own natural mom, though I encourage and sometimes force the issue that they see her. We have that strong of a bond.
But seemingly when dad had to say no to a large financially dependant request by one of the kids, I am the one to blame. I wasn't included in the conversation when the request was made. My husband toldme about the request and asked my opinion. He had already made up his mind to the answer when we spoke so I did nothing to change his mind in the matter, my opinion actually reinforced his. My husband said no, but it's almost as if the kids believe that dad couldn't possibly say no to them unless I made him.
I guess parenting is never easy. It's not easy on my husband for sure. I know the relationship is very strained between the boys and their real mom-so it isn't easy for her. It is definately not any easier when you are the step parent. Now I feel caught in the middle because there is tension in our relationships. Son is pulling back because he didn't get what he thought he should have. My husband is sad. He has asked me if we should reconsider. When I ask if it is because it would be the right thing to do or because he doen't want to see his son sad, he has to admit his motive would be just to "make everything all right again". I know he doesn't hold that against me but I think he wants me just to agree to it anyway.
The trick about life is that this week it is an issue with the step kids, next week it will be something else. Life is like a box of chocolates just like Forrest Gump said isn't it? You never know what you will bite into when you wake up in the morning. I guess I am learning to focus on just being glad I woke up and praying my way through the rest of it! EWSM isn't such a bad knick name, at least the kids are still talking to me! Maybe one day, it will be endearing again. For today, I am just glad I am in their lives, for better or worse :-)
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
"Are you with big belly girl?" that is what the staff member asked my husband as he was looking for me outside the restroom area as we were about to climb "Dunn's River Falls" in Jamacia 3 wks ago.
It made me very angry at first that this stranger, a person that was working for our tip money, would make such a rude comment and frankly, had I known it, he wouldn't have received a blessed penny of my hard earned money, no matter that he managed to get all of our group up the falls without incident!
But then I realized it was the truth. I went on our cruise in February feeling blessed I had lost 10 lbs but this little reality check brought me back to the planet earth and helped me understand that my soul and body could vacation from stress but my ability to skip the healthy eating I have been working so hard on over the last 2 months couldn't happen.
All in all, I worked out in the ship's gym on the days we didn't go into Port somewhere and I came home 1lb heavier than when I left. Not terrible and you know what? I had a great time!
Here's to learning day by day. Folks can be mean, disrespectful or down right rude and call me what they want. I have to learn to be proud of my successes, learn from my failures and be happy with who I am whether I garner other's approval or not! Right now, I am pretty content to be changing daily for the better!
Monday, February 04, 2013
For a week I have been stuck! Stuck between a weight flux of 2 lbs. Today's Spark Coach message about positive thinking is exactly what I needed to hear to remind me that even if the scale is staying between those lbs, my clothes fit better. My husband tells me my tush is looking good, I have more stamina because of my excercise program and I have a bealthier diet that I enjoy but so does my family. Almost daily they are asking me " are you sure this is healthy food? It's sooo good!"
I am positve that being stuck has been a good lesson learned for me :-)
Friday, January 11, 2013
We have had a tread mill for maybe 5 years. Until the beginning of this year, I have never really used it very often. My husband, however found it boring so he talked to his brother who was saying how boring his eliptical machine had become. Lo and behold, I get home from work last night and they had switched machines!!! (not a bad idead if you really think about it)
Now, I have never really used an elipitcal machine but thought if I have been able to do intervals for 30-45 minutes on the treadmill, this won't be so hard...WOW, WRONG ANSWER!
I got the work out of my short excercising life! And it felt GOOD!
I guess when we get bored with this and my brother in law gets bored with the treadmill, we may switch again but I do think I will miss this more...I mean, once I can walk again!
Thursday, January 10, 2013
I have a speaking engagement in April and I have this suit in the back of my closet I just haven't been able to part with thinking "someday I will lose the weight and be able to wear it again"
Well, now I have the date and the program that will get me back into it in time for that speaking engagement. I pulled out that suit this morning and put it in the FRONT of my closet where I can see it each time I walk in. My target weight should be achievable by April per the program calculations on sparkpeople. Just another visual reminder that I can and WILL accomplish this in 2013 and what a great thing it will be to put that outfit on in April!
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