AMYEBEE1924   9,278
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Evil Wicked Step Mother!

Monday, April 01, 2013

That has always been the running joke between my steps sons and me since I married their dad. It has become a term of endearment actually, until now.....

The trials of being a step parent don't seem to end. The boys are soon to be 25 & 26 during April and until now I have never felt or been treated like the "EWSM-Evil Wicked Step Mom"

It's hard to be in the middle of a husband you love and his grown children who prefer to spend mothers day at our house vs their own natural mom, though I encourage and sometimes force the issue that they see her. We have that strong of a bond.

But seemingly when dad had to say no to a large financially dependant request by one of the kids, I am the one to blame. I wasn't included in the conversation when the request was made. My husband toldme about the request and asked my opinion. He had already made up his mind to the answer when we spoke so I did nothing to change his mind in the matter, my opinion actually reinforced his. My husband said no, but it's almost as if the kids believe that dad couldn't possibly say no to them unless I made him.

I guess parenting is never easy. It's not easy on my husband for sure. I know the relationship is very strained between the boys and their real mom-so it isn't easy for her. It is definately not any easier when you are the step parent. Now I feel caught in the middle because there is tension in our relationships. Son is pulling back because he didn't get what he thought he should have. My husband is sad. He has asked me if we should reconsider. When I ask if it is because it would be the right thing to do or because he doen't want to see his son sad, he has to admit his motive would be just to "make everything all right again". I know he doesn't hold that against me but I think he wants me just to agree to it anyway.

The trick about life is that this week it is an issue with the step kids, next week it will be something else. Life is like a box of chocolates just like Forrest Gump said isn't it? You never know what you will bite into when you wake up in the morning. I guess I am learning to focus on just being glad I woke up and praying my way through the rest of it! EWSM isn't such a bad knick name, at least the kids are still talking to me! Maybe one day, it will be endearing again. For today, I am just glad I am in their lives, for better or worse :-)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ISAVEDME80 4/2/2013 3:21PM

    sometimes you gotta do what you feel is right. they are adults they will get over it.
they are lucky to have someone stable cause it stinks to not have a good realtionshio with your real mom.
hang in there my friend

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BECCAR6 4/1/2013 8:25PM

    Being a parent and making the tough decisions is never easy. It adds a whole nother dimension when you are the step-parent. The boys seem to really love you. It sounds like he is just being a typical "child" because he did not get his way. Money often complicates things. On a good note, it sounds like you and your husband are united in this decision and you are looking to God for guidance. I hope things work out very soon.

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MOMMAPAM1 4/1/2013 7:23PM

    I know that it hurts, but take it from a me, my sons get angry with me or my husband it we say no to them. They blame one or both of us, and we are their birth parents. When they don't get what they want its just easier to blame anyone but themselves.

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RENAPEARCE 4/1/2013 4:20PM

  I share your name and I know how hard it is to be blamed, especially when it's not your idea. It warmed my heart one day when my "daughter" said her roommate told her her mother called and she answered "was it my mother or my mom". I'm mom. It will work out.

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63KEEPONGOING 4/1/2013 4:01PM

  It seems your stepkids adore you. Yes, they have to blame someone when they can't have their way, so guess what- you are it! That is no fun! They will get over it sooner or later for they know and love you and the dad so much. Well, that is the way it seems to me. I know we have had to practice hard love at times with our kids. The tears would flow from our broken hearts, but later the son shined as our "son" came back with a different attitude, values, and lifestyle. God is good and it is to Him we owe such blessings to.

Chin up and don't give up!

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PRINCESSAMY 4/1/2013 3:50PM

    Great attitude! I hope things get better.

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"Are You With Big Belly Girl?"

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

"Are you with big belly girl?" that is what the staff member asked my husband as he was looking for me outside the restroom area as we were about to climb "Dunn's River Falls" in Jamacia 3 wks ago.

It made me very angry at first that this stranger, a person that was working for our tip money, would make such a rude comment and frankly, had I known it, he wouldn't have received a blessed penny of my hard earned money, no matter that he managed to get all of our group up the falls without incident!

But then I realized it was the truth. I went on our cruise in February feeling blessed I had lost 10 lbs but this little reality check brought me back to the planet earth and helped me understand that my soul and body could vacation from stress but my ability to skip the healthy eating I have been working so hard on over the last 2 months couldn't happen.

All in all, I worked out in the ship's gym on the days we didn't go into Port somewhere and I came home 1lb heavier than when I left. Not terrible and you know what? I had a great time!

Here's to learning day by day. Folks can be mean, disrespectful or down right rude and call me what they want. I have to learn to be proud of my successes, learn from my failures and be happy with who I am whether I garner other's approval or not! Right now, I am pretty content to be changing daily for the better! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Wow, can we say rude?? People amaze me at their lack of class sometimes. But way to go in pulling yourself away from the negativity that a statement like that can cause. Sounds like you took the negative and tweaked it to your benefit ;) That is awesome in my book! Keep up that great attitude! You will go far!

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MJ7DM33 3/13/2013 8:28PM


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CHANGING-TURTLE 3/13/2013 6:51PM

    emoticon emoticon

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HOTPINKCAMARO49 3/13/2013 5:36PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ISAVEDME80 3/13/2013 5:15PM

    peopel can be so cruel especially men.
you are doing awesome do not let the ignorance of one child get to you.
hes not a real man, a real man would not speak like that about a lady
you are doing awesome and Im proud of you

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63KEEPONGOING 3/13/2013 5:14PM

  The person that made such a crack needs a good lesson on manners, plus a new job.

Always remember you are special, one of a kind, created by God, and loved sooooo very much by him.

Welcome to sparks and thank you for blogging.

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Monday, February 04, 2013

For a week I have been stuck! Stuck between a weight flux of 2 lbs. Today's Spark Coach message about positive thinking is exactly what I needed to hear to remind me that even if the scale is staying between those lbs, my clothes fit better. My husband tells me my tush is looking good, I have more stamina because of my excercise program and I have a bealthier diet that I enjoy but so does my family. Almost daily they are asking me " are you sure this is healthy food? It's sooo good!"

I am positve that being stuck has been a good lesson learned for me :-)

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ISAVEDME80 2/14/2013 6:03PM

    you will get there hun. just remember the story of the tortise and the hare, the hare started out faster and got tired out, the tortise while slower, won because he was going on a speed he could handle.
you will get there just keep going and smile, your worth it :)

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AMYEBEE1924 2/4/2013 10:47AM

    Thanks ACYCLINGMIND for those words of encouragement. I joined Curves and a ZUMBA class last week to do more than just my eliptical machine. I am hoping that the flux is more about/strength/muscle building than anything else which is why my clothes do fit so much more loosely than even a week ago no matter what the scale says. My muscles are confused as is my mind trying to pick up those Zumba steps! LOL!

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ACYCLINGMIND 2/4/2013 10:34AM

    haha... I cook for my family every evening and I'm constantly being asked if the cookies are actually healthy or if a second serving of gravy is really ok. It's motivating, isn't it? If you're stuck, try revamping your workout to give your body a little confusion (you burn more when you use new muscles). Good luck on your journey! :D

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Eliptical vs Tread Mill

Friday, January 11, 2013

We have had a tread mill for maybe 5 years. Until the beginning of this year, I have never really used it very often. My husband, however found it boring so he talked to his brother who was saying how boring his eliptical machine had become. Lo and behold, I get home from work last night and they had switched machines!!! (not a bad idead if you really think about it)

Now, I have never really used an elipitcal machine but thought if I have been able to do intervals for 30-45 minutes on the treadmill, this won't be so hard...WOW, WRONG ANSWER!
I got the work out of my short excercising life! And it felt GOOD!

I guess when we get bored with this and my brother in law gets bored with the treadmill, we may switch again but I do think I will miss this more...I mean, once I can walk again!

emoticon emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

63KEEPONGOING 3/13/2013 7:27PM

  I have a treadmill, and my accountability partner is inspiring me to use it more.

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EGRAMMY 1/12/2013 4:39PM

    Dr had ds get elliptical and I did too. It is good.

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CSAGIRL 1/11/2013 4:07PM

    Good to know ... I've always wondered. Sounds like I should be trying the elliptical soon emoticon


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ROSE-LITE 1/11/2013 3:22PM

  I hear ya! I found that out as well at the gym... I had mostly used the treadmill but because of aging knees and ankles......sigh...tried the elliptical... the heart rate just jumped! it has taken a while for the front thigh muscles - those right above the knees- to get with it... they are good and I think ya burn calories faster on 'em

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A New Visual

Thursday, January 10, 2013

I have a speaking engagement in April and I have this suit in the back of my closet I just haven't been able to part with thinking "someday I will lose the weight and be able to wear it again"

Well, now I have the date and the program that will get me back into it in time for that speaking engagement. I pulled out that suit this morning and put it in the FRONT of my closet where I can see it each time I walk in. My target weight should be achievable by April per the program calculations on sparkpeople. Just another visual reminder that I can and WILL accomplish this in 2013 and what a great thing it will be to put that outfit on in April!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASHPATCH11 1/10/2013 10:57AM

    good luck good idea u got this!

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BRANDIM_81 1/10/2013 10:56AM

    I say God Bless your journey to health and happiness. You can do it! I recently put on such a suit myself. So keep pushing!

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GNISULA 1/10/2013 10:56AM


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STUFFNEARTABOR 1/10/2013 10:55AM

    What a great motivational idea. Love it! Good Luck.

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