Tuesday, December 31, 2013
So I again had a fight with my son because I expect him to pay rent and he says that it is unfair to have to give up so much of his paycheck. I told him that as I do not see him moving forward in his life that this is not an option and if he does not like it the door is right there. He fought with me for an hour than announced he was going to bed. I realized that although the year has been stressful for me and that the men in my life are falling apart I am moving forward in my job in my education and now in my health.
One thing that I have noticed is that I am sooooo very lonely. I have no social life at all. I have no friends locally and the men do not go out or have friends. Part of the reason is that I am given such a hard time when I do go out and part is because of my old beliefs that a wife and mother is supposed to be there. WELL I am Done.
I declare I am over this belief and any time I catch myself getting caught up in those beliefs I will interrupt them and than move on.
So I need to declutter not just my house which is overrun with stuff but also to declutter those things in my life that just art not working anymore. These old beliefs that I am an old fat woman, that I am ugly, that my job is to take care of others so they will love me. I cannot live and die like this anymore.