AMY4593   9,507
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AMY4593's Recent Blog Entries

5/21 BLC PAWSE

Wednesday, May 21, 2014

One more week of BLC done! And another loss in the books!! It's finally starting to come together for me...consistency is the key. Plain and simple. I had some hurdles this last week...Too much alcohol!!! It was a fun weekend though! Also, I am still eating too much peanut butter. It is meeting my sweet tooth needs but I am not stopping when I should. For the coming week my goals are to continue on the treadmill so that by the end of this round I can run/jog an entire mile without stopping or walking. Also, I am going to research probiotics and see if they would be helpful to me in any way!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JADED_CHICK19 5/21/2014 10:33AM

    Great job on the loss!!! Keep up your treadmill workouts and you'll be at a mile in no time! WOOHOO!

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ADARKARA 5/21/2014 10:16AM

    I eat peanut butter EVERY DAY =)

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DCWILLIAMS831 5/21/2014 10:10AM

    emoticon

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BLC Pawse

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

This past week did not provide the weight loss that I was hoping for but I will take being down 1.5 pounds!! I feel that I am doing quite well with sticking to my low carb diet, my biggest problem is that I cannot stay away from peanut butter! It is helping me with the sweet tooth problem...but I know I am over doing it. My Non-scale goal this week is to stay away from peanut butter completely and see if I notice a difference in my weight loss. These past two weeks have been the very best I have ever done with tracking since I began Spark People and I am very proud of that!! However, I realized that I forget to track my exercise more then food...going to work on that going forward. I am also going to work on more intensity in my workouts this coming week!

Staying focused and consistent!!!!!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARDAMOMMA 5/14/2014 12:45PM

    Congrats on the 1.5 pounds!
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JLAMING263 5/14/2014 10:37AM

    emoticon emoticon

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SUNSHINE99999 5/14/2014 10:30AM

  I raise my water glass that next week will be more encouraging for you and your goals. emoticon

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ABC's for BLC

Wednesday, April 30, 2014

A is for ABOVE and BEYOND...Does competition give you an extra push?
Absolutely! I like to win!!

B is for BLC rounds... Newbie?(first BLC round) Oldie?(1-3 rounds) Goldie?
(long time BLCer)? Former BLC team(s)?
I was on the Violet Virtuosos team for the last 2 rounds of BLC

C is for CHILDREN...you have?
Isabella (9) Olivia (7) Anastasia (6) Ruben Jr (almost 4)

D is for DOWNFALL...what's you're biggest temptation/excuse?
Night time is a bad time for me when I get a "Screw it" attitude

E is for EARLY Bird or Night Owl?
Night Owl...but I would like to change that!

F is for FURRY FRIENDS...you have?
Just kids!!!!

G is for GROCERIES...what do you fill your cart with?
We try to stay away from processed foods. Mostly chicken, fruits and veggies.

H is for HOME...where do you call home?
Michigan

I is for INSPIRE...who or what is your roll model/inspiration?
My role models are some women who have been in my position weight wise and have reached their goals.

J is for JOB...What do you do for a living?
Take care of my children and go to college full time!

K is for KEEP IT SIMPLE...What's your healthy focus when short on time?
Low Carb!

L is for LOG...Do you use the Nutrition and Fitness trackers?
This is a struggle for me but I am committed to doing it this BLC!

M is for MARRIED, Single, Involved?
Married for 10 years this September!

N is for NAME...What's the meaning behind your sparkname?
It's my name and the numbers are the last 4 digits of my parents phone number which has been the same for 30 years so I never forget it...LOL

O is for OUNCES...How many ounces of water do you consume on a daily basis?
minimum of 75 ounces but I usually drink more

P is for PRODUCE...How many fruits and veggies do you consume daily?
Lots of veggies and some fruits

Q is for QUOTE...what's your favorite?
"Think, think, think" Winnie the Pooh

R is for ROUTINE...Average number of days and minutes you exercise weekly
4-5 hours

S is for STATURE...How tall are you?
5'4"

T is for TIME...What time zone are you in?
EST

U is for UNWIND...What is your favorite pass time or hobby?
Reading

V is for VACATION...If you could travel anywhere, what destination would you choose?
Spain or Italy

W is for WEIGHT WORKOUT...Do you follow a consistent ST program?
Yes! I love lifting weights!!

X is for "X" MARKS THE SPOT...What do you want to see happen these 12 weeks, other than the scale move?
I want to become consistent in this life...stop yo-yo-ing

Y is for YESTERDAY...Do you dwell on poor choices or allow them to push you forward?
They used to have power over me and would cause me to spin out of control for weeks or months but No More!!!

Z is for ZERO...name one weight loss tool you couldn't live without?
Weights


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 4/30/2014 2:25PM

    Great list! I enjoyed reading it. And now I can stop thinking that something significant happened to you on April 5th of 1993 (4593) emoticon

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My Great Passion in Life.....is being Fat?!?

Monday, October 07, 2013

I've watched the Weight Loss shows and have seen when the contestants have the emotional breakdowns and the audience is shown the "Why" of their obesity. The majority of the time it can be traced back to some traumatic childhood incident that affected this person in such a negative way that they lost the ability to control their appetite and their weight ballooned to a grotesque amount. I always cry along with them and then secretly wish that I had some terrible "thing" that I could blame my weight on. But no, I had a good life. I was happy!! From the time I was a toddler, I had a sunny disposition. Everyone adored me, and that sentiment has followed me my whole life. Sure, I was chubby...but I was pretty and smart and funny and witty and sexy and confident and popular and charming and just full of personality. What wasn't there to love?? I didn't struggle with depression, or loneliness or self loathing or anything else that I could get psychological help for. I just had love for food that had been passed down for generations. This attitude took me through my 20's and into my 30's. It brought me to a marriage with a wonderful, handsome man and gave me four beautiful children. And then something happened. Perhaps a self realization, a moment of clarity where I saw my life for the farce that it was. I started to wonder why I couldn't get a handle on my weight. Why I had earned 116 credit hours for college and then dropped out and had no career. Why I was a good mom but not a great mom. Why I was a good wife but not a great wife. Why I was a good daughter, friend, sister...but just not great. Why I loved God but could not commit to a real relationship. Why was everything in my life just adequate but not fantastic? Where oh where was my passion? And then I saw it for what it was...my only passion, the only thing I was really, really good at was being fat. Why? I began to question myself. I started to look where all the good weight loss shows looked: at my past. Well, my parents were divorced and my biological father had really pulled a number on me, mentally and spiritually. He is a pastor of a Mega Church yet I know how severely he would beat my mother while she was pregnant with me; she was so badly beaten that both she and I almost died at my birth. I suppose I may have some repressed issues with that guy. I recently remembered how when I was 8 or 9 and began to first get chubby, he and his wife and his parents would all crowd into the bathroom with me and place me on the scale and tsk about how much I weighed. Then they would offer me one dollar for every pound I would lose. I guess it didn't work. When I was 20 years old I got a job near where they lived and I moved in with him for the first time since I was a baby. There was a weekly weigh in where they "encouraged" me to lose weight. They also asked me not to sit on their wicker patio furniture anymore because they felt that I was ruining it. I have never shared these things with anybody. Not my mom, my step-dad, my husband, sisters, brother or friends. This is the first time I put it in writing. Can I blame weighing 265 pounds on that alone? I don't know. Is there more? Yes. I haven't spoken to my dad in 15 months but I haven't told him why. I just stopped answering his phone calls, emails and Facebook messages. Sometimes I like to avoid dealing with things.

Well, lots of people have crappy Dads. But I had a great Mom and a great Step-Dad (who legally adopted me so my biological father wouldn't have to pay child support!). My best friends were my sisters and my hero was my brother. Life was good. It really was. I don't have many complaints. I'm still a little spoiled from my parents and so are my kids. (My girls have an entire room dedicated to American Girl Dolls....if you know what that is about, you are pretty much in awe right now!! Thanks Gramma and Grandpa!) However, in the past six months as I have been on this, for lack of a better word, "journey" I have realized that my mom is narcissistic and a major hypochondriac. She can be overly exhausting. I love her with all my heart but sometimes....oh, sometimes.....why I'd like to.....well, you get the point. I don't have to spell it out for you.

So, bringing it back to present day...I have no fabulous talents, interests or hobbies. Unless shoveling food into my mouth counts in any of those categories. I have joined the BLC and the challenge was to write a blog, which I have done. I wasn't sure what I was going to write about and apparently I started typing and my heart took over. I'm not 100% sure where I need to go and what I need to do but I think that I know now that I don't love myself quite as much as I thought I did. And that perhaps I am self sabotaging with food. My next step is to find passion in being healthy. Find passion in exercise. And to shelf the "F-it" attitude!

Thanks for listening to me!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MINANCY 10/10/2013 7:23AM

    Amy, thanks for your story. I hope you find your PASSION! Passion may even start as a habit, and as a habit grows it can become a passion. I am rooting for you girl, and know you can do it!
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ADAGIO_CON_BRIO 10/9/2013 7:12PM

    You have got a lot of fascinating and valuable insights.
Please do find the passion in being healthy and in cooking healthy. You ask some fantastic questions and pondering the answers will be a work that will last for decades--I say that not to discourage you but to inspire you that it's time to keep on thinking; keep on analyzing; keep on asking your heart to pour forth its feelings!

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NEW-N-FIT-ME 10/9/2013 12:17AM

    Loved your blog. Thanks for sharing.

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_BABE_ 10/8/2013 6:54PM

    How can you explain why some people turn to food for comfort or company. We all learn to cope with what life throws us one way or another. I, too have searched my soul looking for some cause but realize it was just a twist of fate that I get solace from food. That may never change. What has changed is that I am mad enough now to do something different. It has ruled my life for so long depriving me of a better experience and that time needs to end now. emoticon

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TREV1964 10/8/2013 6:09PM

    I am in no doubt we can all blame anything for us all being overweight.

Blaming something can help to justify the situation that we get left in at it's best & can help champion a sense of denial at it's worse.

This is pretty much where I was at last year. Before I started my weight loss I asked myself what I consider to be two very important questions.

Am I the very best person I can be?
if not
What can I do to make me the very best person I can be?

Sometimes there is nothing in the past that can explain why we are the way that we are. One slice of bread consumed more than we need to maintain our weight each day can easily result in a 15 pound gain over the year. Times this by ten and we have a 150lb gain that has appeared so gradually between our 20th and 30th birthdays that we really don't notice it go on.

I believe the secret of combating the weight situation is this.

We just decide where we want to be in the future and start to take steps to begin to make that happen. Aim to loose a few ounces, then a few more. This becomes half a pound - follow what you are doing when this happens - you loose a pound - then just keep on repeating the process.

The secret is to concentrate on the little bits - the mini goals and mini achievements. Let the big ones occur all by themselves.

A very enlightening blog by the way.

Cheers

Trev

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ADARKARA 10/8/2013 11:50AM

    emoticon I had a wonderful dad but a crappy mom, so I get you. I was brought to a nutritionist as a child for my weight. I really think most of my problem was my dad had a high metabolism so he would eat 2nds and 3rds every night, but my metabolism wasn't like his!

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GSPEIRS 10/8/2013 3:36AM

    Thanks for sharing! That takes a lot to be able to put your thoughts into words. I admire you for being able to do that. You did have a hard life, and you're on your way to making it better. I bet you were and are a Great Person! Glad we are on the same team this BLC23.

Much success in all your weight loss endeavors!
Hugs

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GIELLIOT 10/7/2013 10:28PM

    Amy--I don't know you, but I saw your post listed on the BLC blog list. I'm so glad I decided to randomly click on it!

Trauma is trauma; the "amount" doesn't matter, but how your mind and body respond to it. I think "breaking" with your father was a wise decision--though it may seem like you are not dealing with the problem, sometimes separating ourselves from the things that bring us down is the best thing for us. How brave you are to do that!

I wish you the best in your journey, and know that you have the strength and even the PASSION to make your way to the path you are meant to take. You can do this!

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ELSAT137 10/7/2013 10:22PM

    Amy,
Awesome blog. Thanks for sharing your heart and your hurt. It is hard to look at the real root of issues in our lives. It is great that you have discovered these things now it is dealing with them and making a plan to move forward. You can do this. No matter what your dad was like - God is there for you and will never leave you, or belittle you. I am finding this healthy journey for me is really a journey to seek God above everything in my life and to turn to him and not to food. Have you heard of the book "Made to Crave" by Lysa Turkerst? It is a great resource. I will be praying for you as you work through these things and as you push forward in your healthy living journey!

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Finally realized what NSV stands for!!

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

It only took me 4 months but after seeing NSV several times on SparkPeople I finally realized it means Non Scale Victory. (Please correct me if I'm wrong!) So I took some time to consider this, after feeling down about only losing 30 pounds over the last 4 months. And I have realized the absolute biggest difference between last summer and this summer is that I am Playing with my kids. Last year I would take them outside and sit in a chair, reading a book and not get up unless absolutely necessary. This year I have been swimming with thm several times, I play catch with my oldest daughter a few times a week, we play frisbee, kickball and have races! We are having a great summer and the real NSV is seeing the smiling faces on my babies! I have so much more weight to lose but I am going to celebrate havin fun with my kids for now!!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TREV1964 8/10/2013 1:20PM

    This blog is something similar to my blog "Massive," making all the little stuff count because it is the little stuff that makes the bigger changes to our lives.

What you describe here is spot on although 30 pounds is a fantastic loss too - please do not dismiss it and how important it is too.

To bring home the enormity of the thirty pound weight loss have a go at this.

Try picking something up of approximately this weight and carry it around with you for a little while. After a little while has passed put it down and leave it.

Isn't it lovely to be able to put that weight down and leave it behind.

Well guess what - - - - YOU ALREADY HAVE DONE JUST THAT.

It's called loosing 30lbs.

Once again - well done - fantastic going.

Cheers

Trev

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KAREN608 8/1/2013 11:40AM

    I typed in NSV to find out what it meant.
NSV can be many things.
Like I had good chol. readings at the doctors.
Enjoyed reading your NSVs ... now get out there
and do something!
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TIGER_LILY_613 7/29/2013 12:58PM

    These are great NSVs !!!! emoticon

And 30lbs in 4 months is pretty awesome emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/29/2013 12:58:31 PM

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_BABE_ 7/29/2013 11:52AM

    I didn't know either until someone kindly pointed out what it meant...;-)

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HFAYE81 7/29/2013 11:39AM

    Haha it took me a few months to figure out what it meant too emoticon

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BUNBUN2010 7/24/2013 6:33PM

    lol..if i did not read your blog I would never have known what NSV stands for..I am horrible at figuring that stuff out:/ What a great accomplishment! Congratulations!!! emoticon

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JADED_CHICK19 7/24/2013 6:05PM

    30 pounds in 4 months is amazing!!! That is an average of 7.5 pounds a month..or 1.8 pounds a week! Seriously that is phenomenal! Also that NSV you mentioned is even more amazing! Your kids are probably thrilled to have their mom interacting more with them..congrats on your awesome SV and NSV :))

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MINEA999 7/24/2013 11:17AM

    lol, honey why didn't you ask? haha

Those are GREAT NSVs. Your kids will have great memories of playing with their mom during the summers. And it keeps you moving all summer long!

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NATALIABUYS 7/24/2013 11:01AM

    30 pounds in 4 months!!! That's awesome!!! You are doing great!

And yes, NSV stands for "Non-scale victory" ;)

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