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AMUSED11's Recent Blog Entries

What is my problem???

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Ok I have the diet knowledge. I know exactly what I need to do and the correct way to do it, but somehow lately I have NO MOTIVATION.... it is sooo bad I actually have caught myself trying to forget the damage I am causing to all the hard work I have put in. I know that when I get on the scale I will be very unhappy. I know I will be depressed when my clothes start to get tight again. I know I will start to feel self conscious in public about the way I look. I know I feel GREAT when I am exercising and am eating right.... OK? So knowing all this WHAT IS MY PROBLEM???? I really am my own worst enemy...... emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

COMEUNDONE87 3/24/2011 5:00PM

    You are not alone.

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SCROSS6 3/24/2011 12:12PM

    I know exactly how you feel, my thing is when I start losing and get comfortable with myself, I start going back to eating like I did before. Then I get mad when I get on the scales. It's my own fault, but it still gets me upset. So now I'm stuck on the same weight give or take 1-2 pounds. We can do this though!!

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CRUSHERS88 3/24/2011 11:27AM

    You and me need to have a chat missy! You look wonderful and you need to be happy with how far you have already come. Be nice to yourself, everyone has things they would change about themselves. You and I know it's a process..... a slow 1 sometimes. You know I'll go with you anytime you wanna go for a jog or walk. I've been feeling the same way I'm not motivated as I used to be. The important thing is not to let it bring you down. You know I'm here for you! That's what friends are for. : )

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MJRVIC2000 3/24/2011 11:04AM

    Lack of motivation can often be traced back to lack of commitment. Knowledge, an idea, a thought are only intentions. Until we make a commitment, all we have is intentions. May God bless you and guide you on your quest.
In His Love, Vic, Team Leader of SP God's Family Team.

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CRACKAJAX 3/24/2011 11:01AM

    I am with ya! Maybe it's the weather? I'm trying to motivate myself to take it one step further but I just don't have the ambition lately.... emoticon

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2011 Reaffirmation

Thursday, January 06, 2011

2010 was a roller coaster of emotions for me... had highs, lows and I am pretty sure I came off the rails at a couple different points. Being a rather emotionally impaired individual this was both chaotic and traumatic for me but somehow I made it through. In 2011 I plan on taking better care of me.... yes that sounds SO selfish, but I always spend so much time and energy trying to make sure everyone else is happy that I lose track of myself. I am at my weight goal more or less..... I will never be the perfect person I want to see in the mirror, but for me I'm ok. I will learn to accept the reflection and be happy with it. It's time for me to start focusing on healing what's inside me know.... The focus no longer on what everyone can see. In turn ..... since I tend to be an emotional binger... or a nonemotional one lol... I will be better to keep up my healthy habits for me verses what I worry everyone else is thinking of me all the time. This post isn't really for anyone but me, but I feel better getting out..... Maybe it's even time for me to make a life ..... The real kind with structure and happiness... we shall see :P

Here's to 2011 may it be a very good year!!


Having a really BAD FAT DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, September 01, 2010

I woke up this morning and it's raining so no 5a.m. walk before work. I don't know if I am just being hormonal or what but I just feel very down on myself.... disgusting, fat, ugly, unlovable, and pretty much just a big pile of gelatinous goo. I need to amp up my exercise routine as I have been VERY lazy and not pushing myself towards my goal. If I am not moving forward I am slipping backwards........ I am just a mess. My eating habits have been good and I have a wonderful support group of girlfriends ..... I need to find my motivation I am starting to feel lost again.
Ok another day of rain.... so no walk. The girls and I did 4miles last night but I miss my mornings. Today was better I just danced for 45 minutes high intensity no stopping. I am sweating like a pig and happier because of it. Now for some coffee to better control my inner beast. Hopefully today will be better then yesterday so far it looks as if it might. I have decided that exercise though I don't particularly like it... make me a better happier me.............

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHARMED3337 9/2/2010 10:11AM

    Good heavens girl, you are NOT unloveable!!! I love you lots!! :) Glad to hear you are having a better day today!! So am far!!! emoticon

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LOVEMUSIC1989 9/1/2010 9:57AM

    Hey, It's good to see someone is as crazy as I am getting up at 5am to exercise. I have been feeling lost lately too, finding it hard to know where to begin and trying to keep going but I came on here and it helped me so much seeing everyones inspiring spark pages. I really hope you feel better soon. Just know you are not fat, ugly & unlovable at all!!! A better day will come soon :)

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    its ok to have a fat day just remember its only one day and make sure you track your calories, tomorrow can be a skinny day you can do it emoticon

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Binge Confessional

Friday, August 20, 2010

Ok so I had a fat fall off the wagon and hit every damn bump in the road night!!! Here I will list out publicly what I have eaten just this evening..... started out with a taco salad my Dad picked up for me... told myself wasn't gonna eat the shell and ate it anyway.... then a piece of birthday cake that was sooo sweet it made me sick oh no but that didn't stop me... I still proceeded to eat a slice of frigging banana bread...... and I was sick when I did. There is something really wrong with my brain. WHY do I do this to myself?? I know I am gonna feel like crap after and GUILTY.... and just FAT and a FAILURE........... tomorrow I will confess to the girls but for tonight I am gonna take my sick disgusted butt to bed!!!!!!!!!!

*** bad weekend continued on through Monday.... I ate everything in sight and didn't have a single redeemable moment.... I did manage to get my tubby butt out and walk approx 4miles Sunday evening. It's Monday now I have my game face back on.... I am gonna look at the past weekend as a diet vacation necessary and needed to progress forward. I can honestly say I ate everything that I had been craving so hopefully that wolf is at bay for awhile lol.............. Wish me luck!! And thank God for the shoe horn that got my weekend boom boba butt into my blue jeans this morning!!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    STOP STOP STOP STOP beating yourself up, write up some goals very specific goals, write down 5 things you like /love about yourself and then post them up around the house and start saying them as a mantra, eg I deserve to be superfit and healthy, I can eat 3 meals and 3 healthy snacks a day, I love etc , before going out fill yourself with lean protein, so you arent hungry, you can do it

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YESWEDID 8/20/2010 11:24PM

    a taco salad, a piece of birthday cake, and a slice of banana bread...hmmmmmm. it coulda been worse - just do an extra workout tommorrow. sleep tight.

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Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Fat fat fat fat fat...... The "F" word..... three little letters and my most hated word in the english language. I am typing this out as a reminder to myself as the holidays approach how hard it was for me to find my 35 year old metabolism!! I have had to work so hard to loose every pound every single inch. I love the way I feel when I know I am being healthy.... I love to look good in a pair of jeans.... When I am good I have no guilt, I can hold my head up high...... I know it is only human to err and people fall off track on occasion, but I fall off for months at a time so the holidays scare me. I feel so good right now the weight is coming off and my clothes are fitting the way I want them to. I am getting prepaired for holiday cookie sabotage I know it is coming. The just one more bite theory... I will make up for it tomorrow and tomorrow never comes......................... I am getting ready...... hopefully this year will be different. I see the problem clearly.......... gonna make a game plan ................ Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHEFSMITH 8/18/2010 9:37AM

    you can do it!!!!

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SNIKWAD 8/18/2010 9:34AM

    emoticon emoticon

Hang in there!


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