Monday, November 26, 2012
Yes, it has been a few days! I have been doing a lot of meditating and pondering as we draw near to the end of another year. (Good Grief!)
As I have walked the path of this journey, I have picked up many tools along the way. Most of us have, or we wouldn't be here. *grins* Two of my favorites are positive thinking and affirmations. I work really hard at keeping a positive state of mind and it can be really difficult when surrounded by people who are perpetually (and very loudly) negative. Our friend "The Slowest Loser" wrote a wonderful blog this past week about letting go. This can be difficult at times. My over active brain oft times dredges up old hurts and grudges. Not as much as it used to do, as I focus as much as I can on positivity. When these unwelcome guests come to call, I hear in my mind and often sing softly to myself "Let it go, Let it go, Let it go!" to the tune of "Let it Snow." Sometimes if the guest thoughts are really stubborn, I will write down the troubling thoughts, take a metal pan or dish...sing let it go and burn the paper in the pan, singing as it burns and releases the worrisome and annoying problem thoughts to the UNIVERSE.
However, I have been really ruminating on affirmations these last few days. Many of us use these little gems to build our self esteem and own vision of ourselves. They help buoy us up when things get tough. I learned something a day or two ago and it was an aha moment again as I was meditating. (and most likely something most people already know. I however often can't see the forest for the trees!)
One of my favorite affirmations comes from Shakti Gwain in her book "Creative Visualization." The affirmation is " I am Vibrantly Healthy and Radiantly Beautiful." I focus more on the vibrantly healthy portion of the affirmation as I am still working on not only losing weight, but getting back to where I was before getting sick (not to mention I believe true radiant beauty is something that shines from the inside).
During one of my meditations, as I was repeating the phrase, it occurred to me that there is more to affirmations then just saying them and expecting everything to change. A lot of the articles I have read never mentioned the work it takes; they more or less say that all you have to do is repeat the affirmation until you believe it is true. I respectfully disagree.
I believe affirmations are goals and goals must be worked towards step by step. I have to work to make them happen. I have to do more than just believe it is true. I have to believe I can do whatever it takes to make it true. Which means, making the commitment and following through on eating right and exercising. Do everything I can to be "vibrantly healthy!"
Eek! I have to get ready for work! Where did the time go? More tonight, hopefully!
Have a great day!
Monday, November 19, 2012
I weighed myself this morning as I have been feeling the need to revisit my goals and as mentioned in an earlier post, set daily goals. I was afraid I'd gained back all the weight I lost. To my surprise over the last 3 or 4 months I gained 3 pounds. Part of me is thrilled it was "only" 3 pounds, part of me is disappointed in myself for gaining 3 pounds!
I have been sliding by on the bare minimum for several months now and since I have been blogging fairly regularly, I have become aware of where I am falling way short. Yesterday, I spoke of setting daily goals and I have been made to feel I need to do it now! I have also decided that the goals are not just physically oriented, but mentally oriented as well.
On Spark Radio, Lily and Karen discussed tech addiction of which I suffer in a huge way. I spend more time on line, then I do just about anything else. I HAVE to set a limit for myself. So my first goal is limit my online time to a couple of hours in the morning. I have a couple programs I participate in that requires more than just a few minutes(Spark People for example) So I will dedicate myself to doing what I need to do in the morning, but not get on in the evening when I get home. I am also going to limit my TV...in an odd turn, I don't spend as much time watching TV as I do online, but it is still more than I should. Especially since I spend so much time channel surfing. So, I will only watch shows I really wish to watch and keep the TV off the rest of the time. In truth, I feel some of this comes from living by myself and wanting background noise. Well, now I will put on my music or audiobooks. Imagine what I can accomplish with all the evening and weekend hours I am freeing up! YES!
So, my daily goals will be: Eat within my calorie range (I have a difficult time eating enough calories to even to hit the lowest number in the range), move 10 minutes a day, limit my computer time to 2 hours in the morning.
It's a start...
I am grateful I am aware of my higher self and I'm in a place where I can actually "hear" it. (and feel compelled to follow its promptings.
I'm grateful for my Spark Friends and their incredible stories that motivate me to want to do better.
I'm grateful for a beautiful new day where I can make good, healthy decisions. I can do this! One Day at a Time.
Have a wonderful day!
Sunday, November 18, 2012
It is a beautiful Sunday morning and I have spent the last hour going through my SP ritual. It is so motivating to read about all the hard won successes of other SP adventurers. It really gives me hope that I will one day hit my ultimate goal.
Speaking of goals, I had another aha moment whilst meditating this morning. (I am seeing a direct correlation between my meditating and aha moments! Coincidence, I think not!
I mentioned on one of my previous posts that there is power in writing things down. I have heard inspiring talks and words of wisdom and get really pumped up. However, once my overactive brain moves on to other musings, I promptly forget what I was so jazzed about!
If I read inspiring talks and words of wisdom, not only do I remember them, but I can read them over and over and get excited all over again! I have found this to be true in inspiring myself and my aha moments words of wisdom. If i write them down, they are much more meaningful for me. I'm not talking about "Typing" them, although it helps, but actually putting pen(or pencil) to paper and physically writing things down. Having the letters, words and ideas flow from my brain, down my arm through my fingers to the paper.
I have a blank notebook and I am going to write down my goals. I have decided (after my journal entry fron yesterday) to set daily goals. One day at a time, living in the moment and not worrying bout the future. If I meet my daily goals, my long term goals will be taken care as well, one sweet day at a time. I may or may not post my daily goals here, but I WILL, as part of my nightly ritual, write them down in my notebook and track them. I am so excited!
I am so grateful that I am making progress in my meditating. Today was the best one ever and I feel so good that I haven't given up, that despite my over active brain, I am more and more able to quiet it down to hear my higher self speak to me.
I'm thankful for my classical music station and my Sunday Baroque program. I love this station and the relaxing, inspiring music I can listen to an time of the day or night. I especially love listening to it as I am driving, as it it is the calm in the middle of the driving storm.
I am so thankful for my inner child. I love that I enjoy coloring and playing in the rain. I love building forts out of blankets and reading tales of magic, damsels in distress who save themselves, of dragons, faeries, and beasties that go bump in the night. I love walking outside and being enchanted by the clouds as they float by, amazed at the sharpness of the mountains outlined against the oh so blue sky.and the intense color and variety of the plants and flowers that grow around me.
Take time to nurture your inner child today. Embrace her/him and let them play for a while. You'll be glad you did!
Saturday, November 17, 2012
I am listening to Spark People Radio and loving it! I truly enjoy listening to these two wonderfully funny ladies. They interview actual Spark members (today was Indy Girl and Slim Katie! It was great to hear the inspiration of two lovely women who are on the healthy adventure with us!) They spoke of being a tech addict (which I most definitely am! Sad to say I need to set limits for myself...eventually).
I had an epiphany this morning as I was meditating. As my mind was yet again racing uncontrollably about next week and last year and will I ever, ever lose the weight...i said out loud (with no idea where it came from)..."Now is all there is." Obviously, someone is trying to help my poor stubborn self! *LOL* As often as one hears or reads about living in the moment, I for one, find it really difficult! If I'm not looking back at fond memories, or dredging up old hurts...I'm imaging what I will be like when I have lost 50, 100, or 150 pounds. I imagine what I will look like, what I will be wearing, how I may change (hopefully for the better).
Now I hope this makes sense....but, Well, heck...now I know why I am not accomplishing what I imagine...I'm so caught up in the future, I totally ignore what I am doing (or not doing) right this minute in order to fulfill my vision. I shudder as I hear my inner voice telling me it is okay to have the pancakes, because my final goal is set for a year from now and you can "make it up" later. *Really, it said that...and I almost believed it!*
I know I need to keep my goal in sight, it is what makes me keep going. But I have let it overwhelm me and blind me to the now...to what I am doing and thinking right this minute. As I pondered this I realized the true beauty of Spark Streaks. Daily goals that help me focus, that will help me move forward at a steady pace. I'm not talking about just weight, but my mental and emotional health as well.
I suppose this should have been obvious to me. I'm relatively intelligent! However, I have always been one to learn things the hard way and that often means I learn it later, rather than sooner! What matters is that I learn it. *sighs*
So I am grateful for the epiphanies that seem to be coming to me more often and I am grateful I am finally listening to them!
I'm grateful to the man who owns the company I work for who gave all his employees a $25 gift card to a grocery store for Thanksgiving. He does this every year, and it still surprises me every year.
I'm grateful for my faire family and the invite to share Thanksgiving with some of them. I have gotten used to spending the holiday(s) by myself(more or sometimes less). I bought my turkey this week and the fixings for my little dinner. I had a whole marathon of a favorite show planned. I really was okay about it. Then Kris called me on Wednesday and invited me to her home for the holiday. My heart sang and a few tears flowed...Of course I said yes and will have my own little Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow evening.
I'm thankful for this lovely weather and for my morning cup of warmth that hugs me from the inside.
I'm grateful for being able to watch the day bloom into being every morning.
I'm grateful for time spent with my fur baby even when she is at her most rotten!
I'm grateful for my family here at Spark People and I love you!
Bright Blessings for a splendiferous weekend!
Thursday, November 15, 2012
I have missed a couple days (and seem to be hyper dyslexic to boot this morning); I've been fighting a cold for the last couple of days and apparently I am losing. *Sighs* Slept hardly a wink last night what with the coughing. Oh well...this too shall pass!
I'm grateful I finally finished the October scanning of authorization approvals and denials. Sheesh! They were never ending (well...so to speak!)! Today i start November. You can tell the year is drawing to a close as we are being swamped with people wanting to get in before the first of the year and starting all over with deductibles.
I'm grateful for my the new health and wellness program my work is asking us to participate in. Since our health insurance premiums are due for a large increase in 2014, my company has actually given us an option (Especially those who smoke)...We can participate in this program for free (for those who smoke, the are required to participate in a smoking cessation program and the owner of the company will pay for any medications required to help them stop smoking. From what I understand, they are not cheap!) and complete only one class by December of next year and we won't see the increase in our portion of the premiums. If people choose not to participate, then they will see the increase.
There have been many grumblings and head shakings over this news. I for one am grateful and excited about the free program and what I can do to keep improving my health.
They offer several classes including a weight management program and a program to help with high blood pressure, high cholesterol,and triglycerides. I am going to participate in those two. Every little thing I can do to get healthy. (my blood pressure has always been normal with the exception of when I was ill, however, my cholesterol levels are through the roof, so this is a no brainer) As Spark People has so beautifully and graciously proved, the best things in life are free and who am I to pass up this great opportunity!?
I am grateful for quiet morning , peaceful nights, and busy days in between. I'm grateful for waking up each morning ready and excited about a new day with new opportunities.
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