Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Change is in the air this week. Monday My supervisor called me in behind closed doors. (Don't ya just hate that feeling of "what now?") As it turns out after the loss of our COO, three weeks ago, duties and departments have been divided between four of our higher ups. Everyone is dealing with not only adjusting to Marc being gone, but now they have added responsibilities in areas they may not be familiar with.
As a result, it was decided (without my knowledge or input) to move me to the call center and focus on apparently what I do best. The phones and customer/physician service. Our website has a patient portal which I am now tech service for as well. Truth to tell, I love helping people and doing what I can to make their experience has painless and comfortable as possible. And I love making our referring doctors happy...for the most part! *LOL* As time allows I will also be helping our referral section scan referrals into our system.
At first I felt as if i was being demoted, or that my supervisor didn't want me anymore. (Moving to this office and working under her was a HUGE change for me and one that took quite a while for me to feel semi-comfortable. I used to handle change so well...I was an adventurer. But after my illness and all the changes I went through that year all at once, I don't handle it as well as I used to. However, now that I am healthy, and life has settled down somewhat, I'm handling it a bit better. ) Anywho, there are many changes being made to accommodate the shift in duties and when I asked my supervisor about the why, she reassured me that I hadn't done anything wrong, they were just giving free reign to do what they believe I do best.
I have started exercising with "Walking Away the Pounds" and I actually can do the full mile. I couldn't on the treadmill...but whereas that is so boring, this is so much fun. So I am exercising every day now and I have had no trouble staying withing my calorie range. Life is good and getting better everyday and I am SO thankful for my health, energy, and love of life that I have once again.
Have a splendiferous day!
Sunday, June 17, 2012
I accomplished almost everything I set out to do. I had a re- epiphany today as I reacquainted myself with the Fly Lady. I don't HAVE to accomplish everything now! My kitchen is done except for mopping which I will do tomorrow as I just ran out of energy. And my sink is shiny! All my laundry is done and my living room is set up for me to start exercising.
I had lots of fun with Shade all weekend...would pounce on her when she least expected it and we played fetch and got some good loving in. I touched base with some dear friends I haven't spoken with in quite a while, Watched some more "Angel" and got some reading done.
I feel good and tired...happy and content and ready for a hot shower and my soft bed.
Bright blessings my friends and sweet sleep.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
I am amazed how much my attitude has changed since seeing my doctor back in March. I am so thankful that Gretchen urged me to talk with Dr. Ashman! If I hadn't, I would still be lost. As I contemplate how far I have come in four months, I realize I lost my self in essence long before the cancer was revealed. I have no idea of how long I had it before it was discovered, but I know now that I wasn't really myself for a while before the fall.
I remember several times before my surgery, going through my chemo and the two years after, looking in the mirror and not recognizing me. It was like looking at a stranger. I didn't know then the depression had moved in. As grateful as I was to have survived, it seems as if I sludged through the days and weeks. There were little pockets of joy here and there, but I was lost. I hated myself, my life and how I looked. However, it never occurred to me that I was suffering from another kind of illness.
Gretchen knew. I didn't believe her, I thought this is how I was now and I just had to live with it. I didn't know until later that she fought depression herself. So I have a long talk with my doctor, take some tests & lo and behold, she fills me in. She prescribed medication and about a month later, I started to notice a change. It was very gradual, like the unfolding of a flower. Baby steps day by day. I started caring about my health so I came back to SP. I started caring about how I look so I got my hair trimmed and slowly added new clothes to my wardrobe. I started being more talkative at work and people started noticing a difference in my demeanor.
This morning, after my shower, I put a little makeup on and combed out my hair and glanced in the mirror on my way out of the bathroom. I stopped in my tracks and did a double take. I looked in the mirror again and smiled. The person in the mirror smiled back, her eyes were clear and shining, they twinkled! It was me! It really was! I was glowing with happiness, excitement, and joy! I loved who I was looking at and she loved me back. I had butterflies in my tummy and I couldn't wait to start my day.
So here I am, giddy with the anticipation of what's in store, but making sure I enjoy the present. I had an exceptional meditation session (for me). Shade and I had a great play time,including a rousing game of fetch with her favorite black twistie. Breakfast is done, towels are in the dryer, going to finish my kitchen, work on the living room then have lunch. After lunch, it is time to tackle my room. In time, this will be a home I can be proud of, it will be my sanctuary. it won't happen over night and I will not spend every weekend cleaning...I need to get my life back! *LOL*
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Laundry's done and put away, clean sheets on my bed, dishwasher loaded(kitchen's almost done), wrestled and loved on my cat. Oh! I can see the top of my washer and dryer! Fist time since I moved in! *LOL* So laundry room is half done...YES!
I had the best salad for lunch! I certainly got more than my five servings in for the day! Time for a little break, watch a couple of episodes of "Angel" fourth season. I have been having an "Angel" marathon now that I finally found the last season at Wal-Mart. Although I probably should not have sat down. All of a sudden I'm very tired. Shade is zonked out beside me, mayhaps I'll join her for a little nap...It is Saturday after all. Oh yeeeaah...it's Saturday....*Sighs Happily*
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