Monday, August 26, 2013
I should explain yesterday's blog post lol. It was the worst day at work EVER. Think of anything and everything that could go wrong...and it did. I am amazed we didn't get angry at one another! THAT'S when you know you work with solid people.
A few things happened today that triggered a lot of thinking for me:
-sorted through three boxes of 'skinny' clothes that I had packed away for more than two years
-listened to an amazing segment on the radio about technology and our drive to stay current and updated
-stood firm about not wanting to commit to something I really didn't want to do
As I sorted through my skinny clothes, most of which had fit within the last five years, two thoughts came to mind.
-I really need to find an outlet in place of shopping when I'm upset
-I used to have great taste in clothes
As I gave up more and more on weight loss and started gaining even more weight it looks like my taste in clothing has taken a serious nose dive.
I never used to settle for crap plus-size wear. I think some companies and designers should be taken to task for some of the far over priced #@$*&^ that's on the market. I digress....
I want to be happy with the way I look NOW. If I can't accept myself NOW, I never will. Skinny me became fat me because of how poorly I felt about myself. There's more than the excess weight on my frame that I must deal and come to terms with. Putting weight loss on the back burner won't work though. In order for me to heal my soul I have to heal my body as well. It has to be a work in progress in TANDEM. One can't exist without the other.
So when I look in the mirror will I be completely happy with what I see? No. But from now on when I do step away from the mirror I'm going to damn well make sure I'm pleased as best as I can be. I made the effort before and I can do it again. It doesn't matter what dress size I wear. No more GARBAGE BAGS to wear, have to find some style I can be at peace with for now.
This is the one time I feel at peace shopping for me. Doesn't usually happen :) I know why now...this is for ME, I know WHY I'm shopping....and it's not because I'm sad, angry or frustrated. It's because I know I deserve better. Even it's a decent looking blouse...