Sunday, March 25, 2012
I've been pretty quiet lately; I've had a migraine for so long, I've lost count of how long I've had it. I would have to go through my journal to know exactly how long but I know it's been long enough that I've cut out artificial sweeteners and gluten (at separate times); treated myself for my out of control allergies and seen the doctor; bought a couple massage packages; used every combo of meds out there except the Excedrin since I ran out and it's still pulled off the shelf, I knew I was drawn to it for a reason when it was on sale but since I had two bottles at the time I didn't see any reason to buy 3 more but if I knew I would have migraines lasting 24/7 for months I would have jumped on it. I think (prayerfully & hopefully) that my problem is related to a broken tooth I didn't know I had that will be fixed Thursday and a root canal that I need that I can't get until April 9th unless there is a cancellation (Spring break means the office is closed for a week).
Yesterday, I decided to give myself part of my goal present since I have been maintaining so well and I've had no incentive to workout because of the pain and my sprained ankle (not sure how I could forget that). I just went to sit down on the couch about 5 weeks ago and sprained my ankle. The doctor said if this steroid shot doesn't heal me then we will do surgery to see why I have so many sprained ankles. I found this picture on tumblr.com last year sorry I don't know the exact link.
I think the piercings act in a similar way to acupuncture because I have noticed very little head/neck/dental pain since I got my piercing. I'm so glad that Eric talked me into only doing one ear at a time so next week, I will be looking forward to getting more relief. I've been taking aleve, tramadol, and codeine and it has been having almost zero impact but thankfully the piercing has a huge impact.
I haven't been lifting weights faithfully like I was and feel free to kick me around a little and challenge me or push me into gear. Not being allowed to do cardio really put me into a depressed state and instead of working out harder in other areas, I really slacked off. The only upside is I know I can maintain and still lose whether I log my calories and exercise or not and whether I work out or not but that isn't how I want to live my life in general. I want my skin more toned, I looked at portrait tattoos yesterday and my Dad was really impressed with the work we saw and I was surprised he was so supportive of me getting Adam's picture done. He asked if I would get it done on my inner wrist like Adam's butterfly but I told him I already had a goal tattoo picked out for there so I have to pick a spot that will still look good after I lose weight or perhaps wait until I'm closer to goal.
Adam's 18th birthday is August 5th and I'm trying to decide what to do: I thought about doing a butterfly release, a weather balloon along with red and black balloons (eco-friendly with bird seed inside so when they dissolve they feed the birds) with laminated cards attached that tell about Adam and how he died engaging in the "choking game". I've considered sponsoring the Compassionate Friends Website for a week and posting his picture and telling something about him and sharing about the dangers of the "choking game". One of my friend's coworkers this week told her about finding out about first graders playing it at school; if you haven't talked to your children yet or lately, please do so, all of the information you need can be found here (please watch the video without your children so you can decide if it's age appropriate): chokinggame.net/ If you feel led, please sign the petition on the site so Congress will mandate education so children/teens will stop being injured and dying.
Thank you again for all the support voting in the Pepsi Refresh Challenge; our conference is schedule June 18th in Washington, D.C. My Dad's health has declined rapidly in the last few weeks so it's too early to know if I can go but I would like warm thoughts and prayers to know the right decision to make for me. I'm very close to most of the people who will be at the conference but I'm also very sensitive and tend to feel other people's pain and am concerned that being with so many people I care about that hurt will be overwhelming and don't want to have a set back although I would love to meet in person so many people I have been talking to the last 6 years.
Thank you so much if you could handle reading this much, I really appreciate it. I'll try to write more often so I don't need to write such long updates. Thank you for all of your support and if I can help you in any way, please let me know.
Peace & Blessings,
Amber, Adam's Mommy Forever
Saturday, January 21, 2012
I haven't been able to be active since June until earlier this month due to an injury and trying to heal without surgery and then having ankle/foot surgery in December. The broken cartialage didn't show up on the MRI or I wouldn't have tried so hard to heal naturally and with PT. Even though I've only been able to do Pilates and upper body weights, I still reached my 5% goal for this challenge but what is more important during the fall 5% challenge, I reached a 37 BMI which meant I was able to qualify for testing to donate a kidney to my Dad. I have lost an additional 12 lbs since then and now I have a 34 BMI so I'm so grateful to have the support from everyone on the A-Team and the goal to lose.
I approached my Dad about donating after he explained some more of his health problems which are growing worse and he didn't shoot me down and said "we'll see". Since he didn't shut me down, I know he realizes that it is getting to the point he really has to make a decision about his health so his quality of life can improve. Any warm thoughts or prayers that encourage him to allow me to donate would be greatly appreciated.
I'm sorry I've been so quiet, I've really been struggling between the holidays (family issues), having surgery and getting horribly sick the day I got permission to exercise (Murphy's Law at work:) I started having nightmares again and would wake up to have to figure out that Adam really wasn't alive anymore and it has led to a bad cycle of staying awake late so I don't have to fall asleep and risk another nightmare but eventually I fall asleep about daybreak and sleep much of the day away. I know I need to break this cycle, I tried to stay up all night into the next day but it didn't reset my clock.
I'm loving my bodybugg though and it has showed me how horribly I sleep and I rarely get more than 2 hours of peaceful sleep. Knowing how many calories I burn has helped a lot because I know how much I can eat and maintain or lose. I've lost 5.5 lbs in the last 3 weeks and considering I've only got in 13.1 miles, I am happy.
With the next challenge, I would like to get to 170 lbs which would put me at my lowest adult weight. When I drop under 170, everything will be new territory for me but I look forward to learning more about my body and enjoying this journey. If you are in the challenge, I hope you have enjoyed it and you have seen the progress you desired and that you will join us in the next one.
If you need any support, please let me know. I hope you have a fabulous weekend.
Peace and Blessings,
Amber, Adam's Mommy Forever
Saturday, January 14, 2012
This morning I read some blogs and noticed at the bottom of the blog that there is now a "share" button on their so readers can now post your blog on their facebook wall. I'm very uncomfortable with this, I am very open in my blog about my grief and weight loss and I don't want *strangers* coming in to my page and knowing more about me than many people in my life. I do keep my page "open" on sparkpeople because I have enjoyed the community so much and because when I do write informational blogs about the "choking game" that other people can find it or share it with others; however, if I'm just writing a regular blog I don't want my weight and measurements on somebody's facebook wall or if I'm having an emotional moment, I don't want to have that in cyberspace. In case you don't know, if you post something on facebook and it is shared, even if you delete your original posting, you will not have the power to delete the shared copy(ies) so it will live forever in cyberspace.
Thankfully, there is a solution which was given to me by a fabulous sparkie, you can remove the option to have your blogs shared; all you need to do is:
Go to your SparkPage.
Click to Edit the page.
On the top right Un-check "Show share bar on my blog posts".
Save your changes.
If you don't know about the "choking game", please contact me or visit chokinggame.net Thank you all again so much for your support in the Pepsi challenge. We are planning the conference for late spring or early summer and I look so forward to the opportunity to go and all of the wonderful things that will happen because of this very large educational conference. A huge bonus is that I will meet a lot of people that I have bonded with over the almost last 6 years since Adam died. Adam died 6 years ago on Feb 28th.
I'm in the 5% Winter Challenge with the Awesome A Team again and it is going wonderful. It has been a little harder to lose my weight with surgery and being on a knee roller then a boot but last Wednesday, I got to give up my boot and switch to a brace that I could workout in as long as I didn't push it per surgeon. Murphy's Law, I woke up sick the day after I got my boot off. I walked .5 miles my first time on the treadmill and that was too much so I couldn't walk for 2 days then the next time I walked .25 miles and that was too much. I have been walking a couple times a day short distances to build up. I did try one 45 sec interval of running at 4 m.p.h. Yesterday, I walked 1.25 miles in a row and walked between 3.2 and 3.4 m.p.h.
I'm not cleared for lower body work other than walking/running easy but I'm continuing to do my sparkpeople advanced dumbbell workout which I highly recommend if you aren't following a program or want a more challenging workout.
If anyone has some good information about scales I would love input. I'm debating between the Omron full body composition scale which records information for 6 months, the unreleased Fitbit Aria which is a wifi scale and emails you your results and plots it for you and a Withings Wifi scale which interfaces with over 40 different apps to update your results and lets you choose to share your information or not.
I changed my bodybugg program from "losing weight" to "losing weight and building endurance" because I need to eat more food to start marathon training and want to fuel the muscles so I don't lose any muscle but eat health so I lose body fat.
I would appreciate prayers or warm thoughts for my Dad. He is declining and I brought up the subject of me being able to be tested to be a donor now and he didn't turn me down which is huge! He turned my sister down twice immediately which means he realizes he is much worse and his life would be greatly improved by having a kidney transplant. I've read all the risks and I've had a lot of surgeries so I'm a pro with that. I cooked dinner and made the bed the day I came home from my hysterectomy so I know I recover quickly. His two previous big objections have been that the surgery is harder on the donor than the recipient and he doesn't want either of his daughters having to face more surgery and because you usually live 10 years longer with a live donor and he doesn't want to live to be 93, he is okay with being 83 from a donor that has passed though.
I hope you have a fabulous weekend; if you need any support please let me know.
Blessings and Peace,
Amber, Adam's Mommy Forever
Friday, December 30, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
I didn't get to do everything I wanted to do in 2011; I didn't lose as much weight as I wanted but considering I've been on the couch healing since the beginning of June, I'm happy with the 70.5 lbs I've lost in 2011. I started working out Jan 12, 2011 so I am hoping to make it a 75 lbs. loss in one calendar year.
The 5% Challenges have been fantastic because I have to log my weight weekly to help earn points for my team (the A Team). In 2012, I am also going to join the Callanetics January challenge and do Callanetics weekly. I took my measurements this week so I look forward to seeing what a month of Callanetics does to my body and if I can get into a smaller size.
My Mom got me a journal for Christmas that I am using as a gratitude journal and a memory journal. I plan to carry it in my purse so if I remember something about Adam, I can write it down and have it for later or if I have questions then hopefully I can look in the journal and find one instead of having to always ask my family questions about Adam's and my lives.
I had my brain testing in March of 2011 and found out I had a memory impairment in April but I'm still waiting for another consult to learn if there is anything I can do to help my memory and what my limitations are. To make life easier, I'm adding new goals on sparkpeople's goal tab so I will be reminded to do things that are important to me like meditate daily, write in my journal, and workout daily. I've learned in order to keep my stress low and keep depression at bay that I need to work out daily even if it is only 30 minutes.
I see the surgeon Jan 4th and am praying that I can get out of my boot and start back to cardio activity. I knew I loved working out but I had no memory of how bad I would miss not being allowed to workout. If you don't see me posting fitness minutes, feel free to leave me a message and kick me back into gear.
I hope everyone has a blessed weekend and enjoys bringing in the New Year.
If you drink, please choose a designated driver or stay where you are for the night so you aren't in an accident. Many communities are giving free cab rides or tows if you are out and drinking so please use those programs instead of endangering yourself and others.
Peace and Blessings,
Amber, Adam's Mommy Forever
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