Sunday, October 12, 2008
So when I think I'm going to do something great for myself I tend to start out well, but eventually I panic or find some excuse to mess up my groove. I haven't gained all my weight back, but it's close enough to feel like I have to start over. I guess I became overwhelmed. I just don't know if I know how to finish anything, let alone anything that is GOOD for me. It's annoying and frustrating and makes me want to shake the stupidity out of myself! I know being healthy is good for me, but the bumps on the road to good health tend to look like mountains to me.
Grrrr...is the best way to express how I feel. I know I need to do this, but when I dive into something I tend to panic and pull myself right back out and retreat back into my comfort zone.
It's effecting me, my family and especially my relationship with my boyfriend. He was healthy and happy when I met him. Now we both veg, eat crap and we're both depressed. It has nothing to do with the relationship, but we've found comfort in our little rut and it's hard to get out of. I know it's from lack of exercise and eating right, but I know it'll all get better if I just freakin try!
I know I can, but I have to take it one step at a time.