AMANDASANTI   1,284
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AMANDASANTI's Recent Blog Entries

Struggling

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Wow. I really underestimated the effects of 10lbs. For the first time since highschool I have zero athletic ability. A 20 minute Jillian used to be difficult yes, but not impossible. I'm barely into it and I keep pausing for a drink, for a break and I'm shaking. This is how I felt when I was in high school (size 4) and out of shape. Within the last few years I found myself loving weight training more and more and liking cardeo less and less. Today I'm feeling exactly the opposite. On top of that I'm feeling depressed because I know it's all in my head. Pray God gives me strength and stamina or it will take all day to get through this 20 minute work out.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUE42DOWN 12/18/2011 5:35PM

    Hehe, sometimes we don't really pay attention to the fact that while, yes, a workout is burning "calories", in order for our muscles to perform, we have to have the ready blood sugar in our system. Glad you figured that out and hope you stick with it and enjoy yourself.

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AMANDASANTI 12/17/2011 5:53PM

    Turns out I just needed to eat ;D finished my work out praise Jesus

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KIMPY225 12/17/2011 4:44PM

    Good luck! I know we all like to look back on our high points in life, but make sure yo focus on now. It may take you longer, but at least you are trying! You will get through it emoticon

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As always- a really bad 2nd day

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Well like always my first day was great! Eating right and feeling great about it. Until I felt like I might throw up any miniute. I had to rush home and eat toast to avoid it. Not nauseous at all- just the feeling you get where your mouth waters and you know it's coming. The only thing that stopped the feeling was to keep my mouth busy with chewing somthing dry. The next day came and I felt the same- then the day after. I also have been getting light headed everytime I try to work out or eat right to the point I'm shaking. My mom told me I have low blood pressure, I thought I was pre-diabetic. We went and checked on my BP and basicily don't know how I'm still breathing it's so low. So I have a lot of excuses once again- that I'd really like to just ignore but can't. I have to want to need to loose this weight and I'm sick litterally of being fat.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BLUE42DOWN 11/24/2011 6:31PM

    If it's at all possible, and you haven't already, see a doctor. That's certainly not normal to feel like that after eating healthy or working out - and is how your body warns you that something is wrong.

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A Lot Of 'First Day's Back'

Saturday, November 12, 2011

Going through my sparkpeople usually always motivates me. I could be sitting on the couch eating cookies and milk watching survivor man. But once again I find myself with the motivation I need to get back on track. Reading through my old blogs gives me anxieity. Is this just going to be another 'I'm back' blog with no real results? I pray not.

I have been struggling with this thorn in my flesh for nearly 6 years. That is WAY longer then I expected. I know why. It's because I dont feel worthy. DEEP down in my heart of hearts I don't feel loved enough to be worth fighting for. Daddy issues- lots of them- surfacing in ways I never saw coming. My head knows better. I know God loves me, I know He created me for a purpose and He faught for me on the cross. But I need to FEEL that.

When Ive been working out and eating right I feel so close to God and I truly feel His love for me but then I endulge my flesh, feel guilty and then get stuck in a pattern of overeating and not careing fooling myself into beleive 'its ok I deserve it' or 'its the last huraah'.

My heart must change for me to change. So here's hopeing and praying! Harrass me my friends- the more comments I get the more I get on sparkpeople which helps me stay focused ;)

  


Back in Black

Friday, July 08, 2011

Well hello friend! Yes it has been a while. No, I haven't reached my goal yet. Yes, my fear of getting comfortable at the half way mark has happened. How long have I been here? A little over year. Yes thats true- at least I havnt gained it back however maintaining was not my goal- loosing it was.

Despite the fact that my weight hasn't changed much I have. I am currently on way way to becoming a more fabulous and soon licensed hair stylist and make-up artist. I have fabulous red hair and a new awakened sense of style. My wardrobe- black. And not because it's slimming but that doesn't hurt. Mostly because that is the attire required- fierce and fashionable- got to represent.

Although I have been feeling hotter then my norm stay-at-home-mom look, I have more and more reasons to get to my goal and get there quickly since I have been lolly-gagging all this time. I finally got down to 168 for a Paul Mitchell hair show in Vegas. But slowly creeped up to 179! ahhh! When I saw that I knew I couldn't let myself go back to fat. Now at a solid 174 and not extremely hardcore, I'd really like to try. I have a lot of reasons to get to my goal this summer. Weddings galore and a hair debut and overall being extremely busy with school and going to both night and day school it will be hard to eat right and get in the gym but I know being consistent with that is the only thing that is going to keep me on functioning with all the events, shows, photoshoots and tests that are comingf my way.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOTALOSER2HIM 7/8/2011 6:28PM

    Yaay! To no more lolly-gagging :)

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Track The Good Food But Not The Bad

Thursday, October 07, 2010

So many times we track most our food... But not all. Usually leaving out the bad choices we made.

Just because you don't track it, doesn't mean it didn't happen.

I have learned on this journey if I want to be successful I have to be completely honest and see the damage I've done- thus holding me accountable. It also gives me knowledge making me aware of how many calories are in the bad foods I love so dearly and seeing that prevents me from eating them again, because I can't justify eating that many calories when I know there is a healthier alternative.

If we don't track our food we won't keep the weight off. We mindlessly eat and justify it not knowing how bad it really is.

Being ignorant about food doesn't make you skinny it makes you fat.

Sadly, I've learned this the hard way.

Now consistently tracking my food and seeing the benefits on the scale and in the mirror- defiantly makes me happier then a single 350 calorie Chocolate Chip Cookie.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EVANSPROUDMAMA 10/7/2010 3:48PM

    Agreed! The past two weekends when I had a cheat day I did not track my food only because I didnt even keep track of anything i ate eghh so bad! Thanks for reminding me of whats important and being honest with yourself is def. most important!

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LIVING_FREE 10/7/2010 2:36PM

    I agree! We gotta be honest with ourselves. Although we may "feel" better by not tracking it, it is only going to hurt us in the long run. We have to be honest w/ ourselves. If we aren't honest with ourselves, why would we begin to be honest with anyone else?

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TSUNI_NIGHT 10/7/2010 1:45PM

    I totally agree that lieing to yourself doesn't do you a darn bit of good. :)

I also agree that ignorance isn't always bliss. It catches up, especialy when it's willful, eventually.

emoticon

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