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AMANDACOETZER's Recent Blog Entries

The important stuff.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

I know that all of us on SP really want to lose weight and be more healthy and being healthy is one of the most important things in life.

If we're not healthy we can't enjoy life to the full with the people we love and who love us! They want us to be healthy and to live a long and happy life with them. Today I'm just wondering how unhappy we make the people who love us on this journey of ours, of losing weight? Do we make life and food unbearable for them? Are they allowed to live life the way they choose or do we force them to live life the new way WE have chosen?

We have chosen to start on a journey of changing our eating habits and to exercise more and to learn about what is healthy and what is not. The people around us haven't necessarily made the same choice we have and although they want what's best for us they don't necessarily want to do all we've chosen to do. We all have choices and sometimes someone we love choose to make the wrong choice... Like we did, until we decided to start caring for our bodies and health. Do we allow them that freedom or do we force them to live life the way we want them to?

I'm not saying we shouldn't care what they put in their mouths or how they live... I'm just asking how are we going about bringing healthy changes into our homes?
Revamping the kitchen without hubby's ok?
Throwing out all of our kid's favorite snacks without talking to them about the change?
Not buying all the things they love?
Forcing them to eat carrot sticks when it used to be chips & dip?

I think on this journey of ours we should do everything we do with LOVE! We have started loving ourselves enough to make the changes necessary to be more healthy. Now we have to love our loved-ones enough to make the transition as painless as possible for them. Ask God to show us how to bring change without force. Learn what's important to each person in the home and try to accommodate them in a healthy way... There are so many healthy AND delicious recipes on SP that it doesn't need to bring World War 3 into our homes.

If we respect the people we love enough to make this transition as painless as possible for them, they will love us so much more!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SPEEDYDOG 5/21/2013 7:35AM

    This is tough issue. My wife is slender and works out very consistently. For here it is not about health but how she looks. She is also into organic food and eats a lot of vegetables.

She likes cookies. She buys delectable chocolate chip cookies and eats one cookie every couple of days. I would rather not have cookies in the house because of the temptation. SHe tells me, "You need more self-control."

The people around us influence what we do and how we see the world. It is just the way it is.

Thanks, Bruce

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TRI_BABE 5/11/2013 11:53AM


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Each day, a new day!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

I'm so glad that I can start over each day. Sometimes I'm hard on myself for not doing all the right things but being able to start over each day gives me hope. I don't go on for days doing the wrong things, I pick myself up, dust myself off, and start the next step of my journey!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

UTE_TOPIA 4/2/2013 5:20PM

  I'm so very thankful for each new day! Bless you!! HIS mercies are new every morning! emoticon

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Wednesday, January 09, 2013

Being a mother is one of the most difficult things I have ever done and that I have to do.

Our son is 17 years old and an only child. He is the light of my life and I thank God for him every day, but some days my prayers are more fervent pleas for endurance and not strength, because then I might kill him! Lol.

I've realised that, over the years, I have done things, which I thought was good things, but I now see that I did Shaun more harm than good. Like helping him with homework and projects. Now, he "can't" do it on his own. I had to realise that I have to let go and the last two years haven't been easy. Watching him struggle, not doing his projects and getting 0. Nearly failing grade 10. Last year(grade 11) he did better but still not near his potential and I know that I have to take part of the blame for pampering him.

Today was his first day of matric! I am nostalgic. I remember the little boy who always came to me with all his problems and I always tried to help. Sounds like the right thing to do, doesn't it? And up to a certain age it is our responsibility to help our kids, but I never let him help himself and I never let him learn from his mistakes. Now he is a young man who stays at home all the time except for the times he goes to "lan's" with his friend. He has never been to a party or club(which is a good thing), doesn't drink or smoke(also good) and I can convince myself, sometimes, that we didn't do a bad job with raising him - and we didn't! But on the other hand I see that he doesn't have the skills to go out in the adult world and make adult decisions...

I have changed and I'm not that overindulgent woman that I used to be, but is it too late for my son? Did I do so much damage to his self-esteem and development that he's going to suffer for what I thought was love?

I pray that God would grant us His favor and reverse the damage that I have done! I believe that there is nothing on this earth that is so bad or so far gone that God can't do anything about it and I gave Shaun over to Him!

You might be wondering where my husband was during all these years and that is the other of my confessions. Lourens told me through the years that I am coddling Shaun too much, that I have to let go, not to do the homework and projects for/with him so that he could learn to do it himself. Like the bible says, there is nobody as deaf as the person who chooses not to listen and to my shame, that was me. I asked my husband and son for forgiveness and that is where we are now.

With God's forgiveness and help I have changed(not that it's easy) and Shaun has started to emerge from his shell and I pray that he will have a wonderful and bright future!

Being a mother is one of the most difficult things I have ever done and that I have to do.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1STATEOFDENIAL 1/9/2013 2:44PM

    One thing to remember is that your son also made his decisions. By the time a kid is in school they're able to understand their actions and how they treat others (maybe not the full consequences, but enough). As in everything, as long as you don't give up most things can be changed. Be a mother bird pushing the baby bird out of the nest. If he is going to live with you for the next few years (after turning 18 of course) then he must have a job or be in some type of school (college, tech school, etc). He must pay rent (even if it's only a $100/month) and pitch in for other bills like tv and internet. Bring him along when you go grocery shopping and teach him how to use a coupon and how to decide what foods to eat, then bring him in the kitchen and have him help with the cooking. Teach him the life skills he must know to be a successful adult.

You can spend your time apologizing for what you did/didn't do when he was a kid or you can spend your time teaching him the skills that he needs now. No parent is ever perfect and must learn as they go, but that also means trying a new course of action when it is determined that what was tried before didn't work. He can't always rely on everyone else to take care of him for the rest of his life, so teaching him the skills he needs will help him be more self-sufficient.

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SWEETNEEY 1/9/2013 9:23AM

    My dear, I think you are being too hard on yourself. I am a single mom and my only child (son) is 14. I think we have to raise kids based on what we think their needs are. There is no blueprint that says what you did is the right or wrong way and what your husband did is the right or wrong way. My position is that we make decisions based on the information we have at that time and then the child also makes decision based on the information he/she has at the time. Each child has its own personality and while I wish I have a crystal ball to see into the future, I say to myself you did or are doing your best.
I understand the 'killing part'. My son is in that stage and I give him my opinion and he ignores it. But if the teacher or coach says the same thing, it's gospel. But I guess we were all like that when we were young, no matter how non-technological the age may have been. There is always something running in the background during the ages.
I makesure make time for me and I let him know these are my plans so if you don't tell me yours then you on your own buddy.

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Try again.

Tuesday, January 08, 2013

The last blog I wrote wasn't actually day 1 because I haven't done any exercises since then. I actually started again today, so this is my new DAY 1!

It's so easy to fall back to all the old habits. Eating anything I want and as much as I want and not exercising and criticising myself all the time! I am my own worst enemy but I think you all know exactly what I mean because for us, who are emotional eaters, food is always the "fall-back" that we reach for when things get tough.

Since I've been a member of SP I've learned so much about myself and the reasons I'm overweight. I've never thought about why I was doing the things I do, I just did them because they were familiar and they made me feel better.

Now, I'm actually starting to think about why I eat... Why food makes me feel better... Why I'm the only one in my family with an eating-disorder...
I've never admitted it to myself before Sparkpeople. Now I know that it's true and I want to do something about it!

Today, I've started again and I know that I'll probably have other times when I'll have to start over again, but I'm going to do it! I know that, with God's help, there is nothing that I can't do!!


Back to day 1 - I pray!!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Since my nieces came to visit, I haven't been exercising. I just got busy with them and all the things we did together and the exercising went to the back-burner.

Now, it's a week later and I haven't exercised. I'm scared. Afraid that now that I haven't done anything for a week, I'm not going to get back to it...

On the one hand, I'm disappointed in myself and on the other hand I don't care much! That's what's scaring me. I feel like I used to before I started at SparkPeople. I don't have any motivation to get back to the healthy things I've been doing before this week. I haven't picked up a lot, just 1kg, but the way I'm feeling and the amount I've been eating has to show on the scale some time and that de-motivates me.

I pray that with the Lord's help I can get over this slump and get back to the healthy choices I made before.

Please pray with me??

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

1STATEOFDENIAL 12/21/2012 8:59PM

    What small efforts can you make to do a little better? Can you leave 2 bites of food on your plate? Can you avoid some of the holiday goodies? Can you do just 5 extra minutes of movement?

Every small effort you make will help you on your journey. You can't force yourself to be motivated, but you can build your motivation in small increments.

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LINWASH23 12/21/2012 2:24PM

    emoticon Take one day at a time, it works for me. emoticon

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